Breakaway

by Sophia Henry

  Still, maybe we need to have a talk about it.

  Later.

  Right now I only have one thing on my mind.

  Me: If you put down your phone I’ll give you a blow job.

  Without hesitation, he tosses his phone to the bottom of the bed and clasps his hands underneath his head. I appreciate that he gives me complete control of his body. He lets me do anything I want and gives me feedback. Most guys aren’t going to turn down a blow job, but just knowing how excited he is and how much pleasure he gets from what I’m doing makes me feel amazing. I have the power to make him beg. I haven’t made him do that yet, but I know I could. It’s really sexy and empowering.

  —

  An ad on the sidebar next to the blow-job article gave me an insanely amazing idea that I know Luke would be into. Trivia with his friends will be the perfect place to pull it off. It’ll be a fun, sexy way to prove I’m not looking for something sweet and long-term. Friends with benefits only.

  In order to pull it off before I meet Luke for trivia tonight, I need to recruit help. Thankfully, I have the perfect person in mind. I pull out my phone and text Tonya. I know she’s not working today, because we have the same days off this week.

  “Of all the places I ever thought you’d ask me to meet you, I sure didn’t see this one coming, Tinkerbell,” Tonya says as she shuts her car door.

  I’ve been sitting in the Scarlet Door’s parking lot for fifteen minutes busting at the seams waiting for her to arrive.

  “Guess you just don’t know me that well, T.” My tone is light and flippant, but inside, my stomach churns with nerves and excitement. For as open as I am about sex and experimentation, I’ve never been in an adult store before, so I don’t quite know what to expect.

  Walking into a sex shop in Charlotte, NC, shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I mean, during a trip to Europe after college, I strolled the streets of Amsterdam’s Red Light District watching prostitutes beckoning clients from windows illuminated in red neon lights. So a random shop in a smallish city shouldn’t be intimidating, but for some reason, my palms are clammy as we walk toward the entrance.

  Maybe because the Red Light District is a tourist attraction. Everyone is there to see what goes on, and nobody pays any attention to you unless you want them to. One of my most vivid memories of that visit was walking into a movie theater—which was playing porn, obviously—and seeing all the cum crusted on the walls and seats. It was the only time in my life when a bodily fluid made me physically sick.

  For some strange reason, I’ve always thought going to a sex shop would be similar: sticky floors, and maybe a random dude jacking off in a corner. I’d much rather shop online and have products delivered discreetly to my door.

  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have time on my side.

  There’s no doubt Luke and I have amazing chemistry in bed. It’s not like I’ve never had that before, but he makes me feel the most comfortable I ever have. He gives me the confidence to be myself and take risks I wouldn’t think of taking with other guys I’ve been with. Even after two years with Arkady, I never felt completely free to let go. Maybe it was the insecurity of that relationship versus the freedom of this fling.

  Which is why the advertisement on the sidebar of the blow-job article I’d read on my phone this morning caught my eye. It showed a tiny vibrator that tucks into a hidden pocket in the front patch of fabric in a thong. According to the website, which I scoured after Luke left my apartment, the pocket keeps the fun vibrating part directly on the clit. I’m sure it takes some maneuvering and practice to keep it in place, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how fun it would be to hand Luke the remote control while we’re at Petra’s tonight.

  Once the idea was in my head, the need for instant gratification consumed me. I don’t have the patience to place my order online and wait. If I could find it at one of Charlotte’s adult toy stores, I could have it buzzing in my pants today.

  Petra’s, the loud crowded bar where we planned to meet KK and Pasha for trivia, would be the perfect setting to try it out. I’d already built a good rapport with KK and trusted her enough to fess up in case we had technical issues.

  I hoped Luke liked the idea. I mean, how could he not? But part of me was still nervous that he might not go for it, since we’d be out with his friends. Maybe he’d think it was a bit creepy. He seemed the most reserved of his friends on the pub crawl, almost like he’s the big brother, or the voice of reason. That laid-back, mature vibe is one of the things that draws me to him. He has quiet confidence, and doesn’t need to overcompensate with a loud, boisterous, frat-boy personality.

  Contrary to the name of the store, the Scarlet Door’s entrance is really two tempered-glass doors with horizontal iron bars to keep the riff raff out. Must not be the best neighborhood. Tonya enters confidently, like she’s walking into Target or a grocery store. I follow, glancing from side to side as if my parents are going to catch me going in.

  “Stop hiding behind me. You’re twenty-six years old!” Tonya says without looking back.

  She’s completely right. I’m being ridiculously immature about the situation. I take a deep breath and straighten up as I walk in. It’s a spacious store, but it seems sterile. Which I guess is a good thing, considering the merchandise. It’s not cluttered and we’re the only people inside, with the exception of the tall, well-built African American guy behind the counter. He looks young, early twenties maybe, and has a bright, gorgeous smile.

  Tonya waves at him.

  “Hey, ladies. Welcome to the Scarlet Door. Can I help you find anything?” he calls out.

  Tonya looks at me and I quickly shake my head no. “Just looking right now,” she answers. “We’ll let you know.”

  “Just holler if you need me.” His voice is smooth and silky, which doesn’t help the nervous feeling bubbling inside me. I don’t know who I expected to work at this place, but in my mind, I’d pictured a little old lady, similar to Dr. Ruth, but with a southern accent. Not a super-hot dude waiting to ring up my adult toy purchases.

  Instead of dwelling on that disturbing thought, I follow Tonya past multiple racks of multicolored lingerie before she stops at a table full of bottles and tubes.

  Lube. Awesome.

  Tonya picks up a green bottle with a black label. “Good head,” she says, reading the label out loud, then purses her lips and sets the bottle down. “Not if it’s flavored. I’d rub toothpaste over him if I wanted that.”

  “Please stop.” I didn’t want her to go into further detail, especially since we both know toothpaste would not make a good lubricant.

  “What?” Tonya asks. “I don’t like mint.”

  “Shhh!” I glance at the guy behind the counter again, who reminds me of one of my first boyfriends. I shake away the memory of all those silly rollerblading dates I’d gone on in high school. Seems light years away from wandering around a sex shop.

  “How are you a nurse? We have to deal with more disgusting fluids than lube!”

  “This is just a completely different experience. I never thought I’d be doing this.” I pause and look at her, still handling the lube bottles. “With you.”

  Tonya’s large brown eyes sear into me for the second time in less than five minutes. I hate how she can call me out with a simple look. I should bring her along next time I have to confront my parents.

  “Who else was going to do this with you?”

  “I should’ve come alone.”

  “Pssshhhh!” She waves her hand. “You would’ve never walked in the door.”

  “Yes. I would have.” I fold my arms across my chest as if pouting. “I really want to surprise Lu…” I trail off as I realize I was about to give my secret away.

  “Excuse me?” Tonya catches my gaze and grabs my forearm to keep me in place. “Who are you trying to surprise?”

  Shit.

  “Luke.”

  “Luke who? Luke Daniels? The volunteer?”

  I nod.

 
“The volunteer that you denied being attracted to?”

  “Technically, you guys never asked if I was attracted to him. You said he was interested in me.”

  “I knew it!” Tonya releases my arm and bounces on her toes. “Oh, Tinkerbell, you’re a secretive little thing, aren’t you?”

  My heart speeds up at the thought of Tonya telling anyone about this outing. Especially our colleagues when we’re all sharing crazy stories at the bar after a shift. “Can we please keep this between us?” I ask.

  “Don’t worry, Tinkerbell. I’m not going to tell anyone about how freaky you are or about how you’re trying to get with Luke,” Tonya assures me. As a freak herself, I know she thinks I’m just closeted.

  My heartbeat settles back to normal. “Thank you. I’m going over there.” I point toward a random section of racks and shuffle away without even knowing exactly what I’m headed toward.

  The racks stand a little taller than me and they’re filled with row after row of penises. Penises in every size, shape, and color. My cheeks burn when I catch a glimpse of a monster-size, flesh-colored dildo out of the corner of my eye.

  Abort mission. Abort mission. In too deep. No pun intended.

  I slide around to the other side of the rack and see more penises. How many can they possibly make? I thought one penis fits all. Like, you have to deal with whatever size the guy you’re with is.

  I scan the racks looking for the specific toy I came for. I spot vibrating panties on the bottom rack and crouch down to read the package. They seem fun, but it’s not the product I’m looking for. They’ve gotta have the vibrator I saw online.

  Despite my obvious confusion, the guy at the counter stays where he is. He doesn’t follow people around or creep over shoulders checking out what customers are looking at. I appreciate that, but it means I’m going to have to approach him to ask a question.

  With silly trepidation that an adult shouldn’t have around sex toys, I swallow my fear and stroll to the counter. Just as I’m about to open my mouth, I hear Tonya’s voice.

  “Girl! They got the 4.0!”

  Instead of addressing a question to the cashier as I had originally planned, I drop my eyes to the floor and turn around slowly.

  “Did you need help finding anything?” he calls to my back.

  “I think she found it,” I squeak, glancing over my shoulder and giving him a small smile.

  When I find Tonya, she’s standing in front of a locked glass case filled with vibrators. Of course I would find row upon row of penises while Tonya went directly to the section I needed. I should’ve followed the pro.

  “They don’t have the one I looked at online,” I say scanning the shelves quickly.

  “I think this one does the same thing and has a few different types.” She plucks a purple, C-shaped object off the shelf next to the display case and it wiggles it back and forth in front of my face. “And it’s flexible.”

  “Is that a good thing?” I reach out to see what it feels like. My fingers skim across velvety-soft plastic. Which sounds exactly like the description that the manufacturer would write on the back of the box. At least their advertising is truthful.

  “They also have this one.” She holds up what looks like the exact same thing, but in a baby-blue hue.

  “Is it just a different color?” I ask.

  Tonya moves her hand up and down as if weighing it. “No, this one is heavier.”

  I snatch it from her palm. “Oooh, that might be better.”

  “Now you’re getting into it,” she says with a smirk.

  “I’m trying to think logically. The other one seemed too flimsy. Maybe something stiffer would work better.”

  “Logic has nothing to do with this. It’s all about pleasure.”

  “You should work here,” I quip.

  “I used to.”

  “Excuse me?” The vibrator flips out of my hand, but I snatch it out of the air before it falls to the floor. I don’t need to draw more attention to myself as I fondle sex toys.

  “I used to work here. Back when I was working part-time at the hospital and Rick was laid off. I picked up a couple of shifts to help make ends meet. It was fun.”

  “Is that how you learned so much?”

  “Naw! But I learned more than I knew before.”

  I know she isn’t kidding, so I let it go. At least I’d picked the right person to accompany me.

  “Back to business,” I say, steering the conversation to the discreet vibrator again. “Does this one have a remote control?”

  “Yes. You can even set up an app on your phone that will control it.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but I need there to be a physical remote, because I’m just going to hand it to Luke on the sly and whisper what it does.” I wiggle the purple vibrator in one hand and the blue one in the other. “It kills the surprise if he has to download an app beforehand. Plus, he’d be on his phone all night and his friends would ask questions. It sounds like a cool idea, until you really think about it.”

  When I look up, Tonya is staring at me with one eyebrow raised. “You’ve really thought long and hard about this.”

  “The long and hard ones are over there.” I nod toward the dildos on the racks behind us. “I want something discreet.”

  Tonya bursts out laughing. “We’ve been here ten minutes and you think you know the store now?”

  “I could totally work here.”

  “Put a vibrator in your hand and it brings out all kinds of confidence.” Tonya shakes her head.

  “It does,” I agree. “I feel like I could take down the most powerful men on earth with the press of a button.”

  After fucking Luke on multiple occasions, I know he’s open to and supportive of anything I want to try. I like the confidence that swells within me when I think about using this with him.

  “Wait until you give it to Luke.” Tonya fans herself. “That boy is going to be putty in your hands.”

  “I don’t want putty. I want a hard cock.”

  “Save the dirty talk for your man, Tinkerbell.”

  “Don’t worry, T. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

  Chapter 9

  Luke

  Tuesday Trivia at Petra’s is always crowded, so I’m glad Bree and I got here early. I knew Gribsy and Kristen would be late because he told me she had some big festival to prepare for at work. She plans events for a local radio station.

  “Please tell me what’s up,” I ask Bree when we sit down at a table.

  “What do you mean?” she asks as she drops her crocheted purse on top of the table. The beige bag has a pattern of red and orange flowers that reminds me of the afghan my grandma knit for me when I was a baby. The only difference is that the flowers on my blanket are green and blue—super masculine.

  I assess her through a squint, as if that will help me figure her out. “I don’t know, exactly, but you seem excited. Like you have news or a surprise or something.”

  Bree’s cheeks flush immediately, so I know I’m not just going crazy. I don’t know much about her, but I can tell she’s not good at secrets. Zero poker face.

  “What is it? Are you waiting for Kristen and Pavel to get here before you spill it?” I can’t imagine what could have her so excited. My gaze veers to her thighs, long and lean in the skintight fabric of her jeans.

  “No,” she says quickly. Then she glances around the bar and leans close to me as if making sure no one can hear before she speaks.

  When she moves closer, my dick presses against my zipper and my shoulders tighten in anticipation of being with her tonight. I like sex, obviously, but I feel like an addict since meeting Bree. Every time I’m around her I need another hit. It’s a feeling I’ve never had about a girl I was fucking before.

  “I’ll be right back,” she says. Then she pats my shoulder and rushes toward the restrooms.

  “Jesus,” I hiss under my breath out of frustration. So fucking close.

  Bree is back before I
have a chance to take a sip of my beer. “That was fast,” I say.

  She stands next to me and places a small, egg-shaped plastic device in my hand. I turn my head slightly, giving her a side-eye. “What’s this?”

  She leans in, pressing her breasts against my bicep. Her warm breath hits my ear as she whispers, “This is the remote for the vibrator I’m wearing. You’re in control of it.”

  I couldn’t have heard her correctly. I stare at her as she settles back onto her seat. I need to see her eyes. “Excuse me?”

  She reaches over, opens my hand and points to the buttons on the tiny gray remote. “Hold this one down for a few seconds to turn it on or off. The one on top changes the speed and rhythm.”

  Surprise lumps in my throat, hindering my ability to speak as excitement pools in my stomach and below the belt. I shift in my seat and look around the bar, at all the unsuspecting patrons who have no clue what she just handed me—and what it controls.

  “Are you kidding?” I ask, before I let the excitement go to my head, though the one in my pants is already pressing against my zipper while the one attached to my neck is still processing the information.

  Her sly smile and slight shake of her head makes me want to explode. I lean back, pressing my spine against the chair, taking a minute to wrap my head around the situation. I’m already conflicted by the intensity of my feelings for this girl and then she fires another slap shot at me.

  When I meet her eyes again, she’s biting her bottom lip, but it can’t contain her smile. The fact that she’s so excited turns me on.

  “Tell me about it,” I say, curious to find out more about the toy I’m dealing with. I’ve seen all kinds of them, but I’ve never been given a remote in a public place. “Where is it? What does it look like?”

  “It’s got this C-shape to it,” she says curving her hand into the shape of the letter. “It’s supposed to hit the G-spot and clit at the same time.”

  The nonchalance in which Bree says the word “clit” makes me feel like a teenager in health class. She’s a nurse, well versed in anatomy, so it makes sense that she wouldn’t be shy or nervous talking about body parts. But it still makes me want to pull her onto my lap and slide her onto my thickening dick right here in a crowded bar.