Shadowed Veil

by Emery Blake

  Mercifully, Baev did not elaborate further. She ordered us back to the Inter-realm and returned to the nightmarish creature that still lay quivering under the silver net. I saw her squat down next to it, entirely unconcerned, and lift the net. Then I stepped through the Veil, felt the familiar flash of cold, and I was in the courtyard of my building.

  I stood there for a few moments, lost in thought. What was I even doing here? I remember when I was in eighth grade, my family moved in the middle of the school year. The math class in my new school was way ahead of the one I had been struggling in all year. I felt lost, hopelessly behind. It was like they were speaking a totally different language. But that was nothing compared to what I felt now. Even though the Common language was fairly easy to learn, I still felt like a foreigner.

  A hand touched my shoulder and I spun around, my heart racing. I was still jumpy from the encounter with the buda. But it was just Aiken. Aiken was a kelpie, or at least that’s one of the names for his kind.

  Stories of water-horses can be found in dozens of human cultures. Some of the tales were true: he could appear as a man or a horse and he was incredibly strong. But in most stories, kelpies were regarded as malevolent creatures, dragging children and young women to watery deaths.

  Aiken was nice, almost gentle. He was tall and broad shouldered. Deep brown eyes peered out from below thick, dark eyebrows. His coal black curly hair hung down to his shoulders and always appeared slightly damp, as if he’d just toweled off from a swim.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  He paused, apparently expecting me to say something back, but I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to think of what to say.

  “Try not to get down on yourself, Skylar. Everyone here was new once, you will figure it out.”

  “Oh, what do you know about it? It’s all so easy for you. You’re strong and fast and have been doing this since you were a…foal or whatever. You have no idea what I’m going through.”

  I instantly regretted my outburst. I didn’t even know where it had come from. Aiken was always kind to me. Tevita said he was into me, but if so, he wasn’t doing a good job of showing it.

  Though he was good looking enough, in his human form, I wasn’t about to complicate my life any further by entertaining any romantic interest from a guy who was a horse half the time. But regardless, he didn’t deserve to be the object of my own frustrations and self-doubt.

  I felt awful for what I’d said, but the pity I saw in his eyes just made me angrier. I didn’t want to be pitied. I hated feeling weak, clumsy, slow, and ignorant. The fact that my instructors and some of my classmates like Aiken and Tevita were so convinced that I had some hidden talent, that I was something more than what I had shown so far, made my failures that much more galling.

  Sometimes I thought my only special skill was in deconstructing my feelings. But that wasn’t some gift, it was just the product of the countless hours my parents made me sit with the counselor. Not a lot of help when it came to dealing with creatures that counselor had helped me convince myself didn’t exist.

  Chapter Thirteen

  My room was on the third floor of an elegant tower overlooking the long lake. I stared out the window and watched the moonlight play on the ripples and wavelets running across the surface as the evening breeze came down from the hills above the city. I had been living in the Inter-realm for nearly three months, but I still hadn’t gotten over the sense of wonder. The moon, far larger or closer than the one on Earth, lit up the curving, disordered streets below with a bright silver light.

  The buildings seemed to be arranged with little care or design, each styled in a unique architecture, as if each realm had arrived and plopped down a building of their own in a random location. The effect was disorienting and captivating at the same time. There was something living and organic in the flow.

  I followed the road that hugged the lakeshore as it turned into a tall, arcing bridge and I thought back to my first conversation with Finian. I wondered whether my initial instincts were correct. He seemed convinced that I was going to make it as a TRIP agent, but everything I had experienced over the past few months had demonstrated that I was not cut out for it.

  I got lucky with the djinn, mainly because he was overconfident. That didn’t make me some kind of warrior. Every one of my fellow trainees was better than me, TRIP didn’t need me. If I just went back home, maybe all of this would just go away.

  I shook my head. No, none of this would just go away. I had been attacked, twice, when I was home on Earth. The Opener of Ways, Lord Asa'kah wanted me for some reason and was probably not going to stop just because two of his agents had been killed. If anything, it would just make him angrier. I was being pulled between two forces I didn’t understand. Both of whom placed some kind of value on me that I was pretty sure I didn’t deserve, and I was certain I didn’t want.

  Hopefully Finian would be convinced he was wrong about me by my continued embarrassments in training, but how could I show the Opener of Ways that I wasn’t the one he wanted? Especially when I didn’t know why he wanted me at all?

  Still, despite the, well, terrifying and horrible things that I had experienced, despite the fact that I had come close to death a half dozen times already, I couldn’t deny that there had been amazing experiences as well. Stepping through a hole in the air and into another world wasn’t something that most people could even imagine. I had gotten so good at it that it barely registered anymore.

  I had spent my first week in Inter-realm in an intensive course consisting of two subjects. Learning the Common language was far easier than I had anticipated. Veilwalking was not. Although I had technically done it twice on my own, when I tried to replicate it with my instructor, I got nowhere.

  Though she had a human face and upper body, the naga who taught me to cross the Veil at will had cold eyes that matched her serpentine lower half. She was patient but at times I seemed to push her to the brink.

  “No, no! Why are you waving your arms about? Do you think your hands are tearing a hole in the Veil?”

  “Sorry, Sarpa.”

  And I would try again.

  “We refer to the Veil as a fabric but that is not an apt description. In fact, the reality is nearly the exact opposite. It is not a physical thing. It cannot be penetrated through force.”

  The naga kept up a steady stream of explanation as I tried over and over.

  “It is a realm of pure energy that separates all of our material realms. Philosophers and theorists argue about what the Veil is truly like, but none have ever been there. If you tried to enter the Veil itself, every atom of matter in your body would explode instantaneously. We use the Veil, traverse through the Veil, but we never enter the Veil.”

  I tried to picture the place Sarpa had taken me at the beginning of the lesson. Veilwalking to a place you had never been was difficult and dangerous. You end up in the middle of an ocean, like I did on Ixia. Hearing that I had survived, successfully traversed to a new realm, had temporarily widened my instructor’s slit pupiled eyes. My subsequent failures hardened them in a mask of disappointment.

  It took two weeks before I got it. I was shocked to see an expression of genuine happiness on the naga’s face.

  “I am surprised. I expected it to be far more difficult for you, considering your age. Younger children are always better. There is less to overcome. Your mind had calcified its understanding of how the universe works. But for a human you are remarkably flexible.”

  I might have taken offense if I hadn’t been so elated.

  One minute, I was in a tree-lined park in Inter-realm, the next I was on a rocky hill overlooking a mangrove forest that surrounded a shallow lagoon. Huge bird-like reptiles flapped across a sky thick with puffy white clouds. In the distance, mountains rose so sheer and jagged that parts of them were free from the overwhelming greenery. It was beautiful.

  And I had gotten there in a single step.

  I couldn’t push
through a barrier that wasn’t there. When I tried to force my way through the Veil, it just moved with me. Instead, I had to…dissipate the energy. Instead of piercing a hole, the way I had seen wormholes explained in movies, it was more like a quieting of the chaos, a slowing of the whirlwind just enough to allow my material form to cross through.

  For a veilwalker, it didn’t matter where one was in one realm, you could get to anywhere in another realm as long as you could visualize it. Because the Veil was immaterial, there was no distance, no space that separated the realms from each other. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea, but I eventually accepted it even though I wasn’t sure I really understood. For that matter, I wasn’t sure if Sarpa really did either.

  Every realm was just a step away.

  I spent weeks practicing, perfecting my ability. I traveled with the naga to dozens of realms. From wild and beautiful realms with no advanced life to cities as large and populated as any on Earth, I was awash daily in new sights and experiences. It was like being able to step from the Serengeti to Bangkok to Svalbard to London except even more strange and exotic.

  It was amazing, enthralling, overwhelming. For a while, I forgot just how disconcerting the whole experience had been. Eventually, it all came crashing in when I joined the rest of the trainees.

  I could speak the language passably well and my veilwalking was getting more reliable, but I was still years behind. I suppose I could have been in a class with children, but I feel like that might have been even worse. Instead, I felt like the child. Most of the other trainees had already been at this for years and they almost all possessed attributes that I could not hope to match. They were faster, stronger, more skilled. The only thing I had going for me was that I had spent years studying mythology, so most of the creatures that came up in the theoretical lessons were familiar.

  Their names were, at least.

  Unfortunately, most of my knowledge about them was wrong.

  What passed as myth back on Earth had a basis in reality, but that reality had been distorted after the closing of the portals and the pogroms against off-realmers. Creatures who were complex and nuanced were reduced to caricatures of violence, danger, and malevolence. What started as propaganda eventually became belief. Of course, many creatures could be dangerous, and a few truly reveled in violence and destruction, but no more so than we could be.

  But despite the challenges and embarrassments, it was fascinating. I thought back to my discussion sections at UNC and smiled. It was like I’d stepped into the pages of the books I had only been studying. I was experiencing things that few humans ever did, that nobody even imagined possible.

  Even if it were possible to go back to my old life, would I even want to?

  Chapter Fourteen

  A knock on the door took me out of my reverie. Tevita opened the door and walked in without waiting for permission. She always reminded me of a little girl with her short stature and her hair in pigtails. I had to remind myself that she was the same age as me and considerably more powerful. Not that she ever made a point to remind me of that, she was constantly friendly, encouraging, and supportive. To the point of being annoying. It was difficult to wallow in self-pity when she was pulling me up all the time.

  “Are you ok? Today was kind of rough. I don’t know why you volunteered to take on the buda. I know I was afraid of it. You should be proud of being brave, even if it was kind of stupid. Not that I am calling you stupid. You know a lot. I am surprised, you know, I thought humans had all forgotten about the other folk. But you are different. I am sure people tell you that all the time, but you are. How are you feeling? Are you upset? Do you want to get some food? I’m hungry.”

  This was every conversation with her. Her little voice rattled off sentence after sentence. She rarely offered an opportunity to respond until she had completed the whole arc of her thought. Then she would sit silent for minutes at a time until the spirit caught her again and she launched into another monologue.

  I decided to just answer her last question. “Yeah, I’m hungry too.”

  Food options in the Inter-realm were as varied as its population. Ingredients were brought in daily through the portals that linked the hub to its many spokes. The streets around the main portal center were a dizzying mix of sights and scents. The portal center housed most of the regulated gateways to the major realms. There were other regulated portals on Inter-realm, of course, but they generally connected to seldom used realms.

  On other realms, there were direct connections to various realms as well, including many that did not have any other route to Inter-realm. TRIP staffed these gateways to ensure that the transit realm couldn’t use its position to extort travelers who needed to pass through. In addition, there were hundreds of other portals that TRIP did not manage, many whose locations and destinations were unknown.

  We made our way to a stand with some familiar flavors. I was glad to be a vegetarian. I didn’t want to imagine the kind of creatures that went into some of the dishes that I saw on offer. Tevita and I found our favorite stall, Matil’s, staffed by an elven cook that made the most extraordinary vegetarian dishes.

  Many of the fruits and vegetables were similar to ones I knew from Earth, leafy greens, small sour red berries, colorful roots. But they were unbelievably flavorful. The salads he threw together were aromatic with citrus oils, sweet fruity sugars, and alkaline bitterness. He greeted us by name and started mixing our dinner.

  Before he could finish, I saw the crowd part to my left. Finian created a wake wherever he went. Tall and thin, he exuded such power and authority that those around him instinctively gave way. He was walking directly towards me.

  “Matil, good evening to you. How goes business?”

  “Well enough, Speaker. With the appetites of these two trainees, I might be able to retire early.”

  From the cook’s tone, I could tell he had used a title of honor and respect. I had never heard Finian referred to as Speaker by anyone in the Realm Guard. It must be an elven thing.

  “Would you be so good as to hold one of those salads? I need to have a word with Skylar.”

  I felt a little chill. I wasn’t sure if I was afraid that I was in trouble or excited by the prospect of speaking with Finian alone. I shot a glance at Tevita who wore a worried expression. Finian rarely spent any time with the trainees. He would come by on occasion and give a talk to the whole class, but he never spent time one on one.

  “I’ll take it. I’ll bring it back to her room, so she can have it when she gets back.” The implied addendum being that she would also be waiting there, ready to hear everything that Finian had said to me.

  Finian nodded at her.

  “Very well. Matil, both of them are on me.”

  Then he placed his hand on my shoulder and guided me away from the bustling street. I felt the little hairs on my neck rise up when he touched me. Despite the fact that he was a couple of centuries older than any of the guys I had ever dated, he was easily the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

  But it was more than that. He was serene. And even though I was sure he had a million worries and concerns about countless other people and creatures across the realms, whenever he talked to me, I felt like I was the only thing that existed. Being around him made me feel like I was special, like I mattered. After the last few weeks, it was a welcome feeling.

  We walked in silence for a while until we were clear of the crowds. The haphazard placement of buildings meant the Inter-realm was full of large parks, groves, and open spaces. We stopped in one. A field of tall grasses dotted with thick-limbed oak trees. Finian motioned to a bench and we sat. I waited for him to break the silence. Not that I could have, my tongue felt like it was three times too big.

  “I understand you had a challenging day.”

  “Um, yeah. I guess I did.”

  I hated statements like that. The ones where you are supposed to agree, but there is nothing really to say without sounding as dumb as I did.
/>
  “Baev, well, Baev can be tough.”

  I let a small laugh escape. “That is an understatement.” An arch of the elf’s eyebrow reminded me of my place. I snapped my mouth shut and he continued.

  “She has always been demanding, but she has good reason. There are dangerous creatures out there, as you know all too well. That you are still alive is a testament to your ability, but you are capable of much more than you have demonstrated thus far.”

  I barely suppressed a groan. I was tired of hearing about my potential. It sounded like my parents haranguing me for not working harder in school. I hadn’t really studied until I got to college. Everything had come easily to me, except math, and I had been able to get by without really working.

  But they always told me ‘you have so much potential’ and ‘if only you would put in the effort’ and so on. At least then I knew that they were right, I knew I wasn’t working hard at school. This was another matter entirely. My instructors kept telling me I had more ability, but I had no idea how to reach it.

  “I am working as hard as I can. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

  Finian smiled, revealing a row of perfect, gleaming narrow teeth. Everything about him was refined and elegant.

  “You are frustrated. I understand. Honestly, I am not certain how to help you. But you are more than what you believe yourself to be. Of that I am sure.”

  “How do you know? Everyone keeps saying that, but what if you are wrong? Look, I appreciate everything you have done. This has been an amazing experience. But maybe I am just not cut out to be here.”

  “Self-deprecation can be a charming quality, but self-doubt can be dangerous. Don’t be a fool, Skylar. You know there is something special about you, just as I do. Just as the Opener of Ways knows.”