The Waiting

by Carol James

  Although it hadn’t visited her often, she recognized the little feeling tapping on her shoulder. Jealousy. She had no reason to feel the slightest twinge. She could have had him if she’d wanted. Probably still could. But the betrayal and breakup were too recent, too fresh. The day that her heart would catch up with her mind and she’d no longer love him couldn’t come soon enough. Time. She needed more time.

  A sudden silence thudded over the house, leaving her ears ringing and head pounding. The only sound in the small house was the theme song for the noon news coming from the television in the living room. She glanced at her phone. Lunchtime.

  The clock on the mantel began to strike twelve, and the recliner creaked as Naomi sat up. “My lands, noon already. How’s it goin’ in there, sugar?” The wheels of the walker squeaked as Naomi shuffled into the kitchen.

  “Everything’s done in here except the floors.” Katherine opened the cabinets one by one, showing their reorganized interiors.

  “My lands, girl, you’re fast! Everything looks great. Woulda taken me a whole week, and I still couldn’t have reached them top cabinets. Don’t be workin’ yourself to death now.”

  “I enjoyed it. I’ll work on the rest of the list after lunch, and then we’ll see what I can do tomorrow.”

  “Lands, honey, I don’t expect you to spend your whole week in here with me. You need to be outside with them other young people. I’m grateful for today.”

  She would find something to do inside. “We’ll figure it out, but right now it’s lunch time. Let’s go outside and get a sandwich.”

  A wall of heat met her as they stepped out onto the front porch. The blowing Oklahoma wind burned against her bare arms and face. The temperature on the roof must be tens of degrees hotter than below.

  Every inch of shade was covered with knots of teenagers as they sought relief from the blazing noon sun. The two pecan trees were completely ringed. Others huddled under the eaves of the small house, or against the side of the bus as a country song drifted from its radio through the open door and windows.

  Katherine got Naomi settled into one of the ladder-back chairs and turned to go get their lunches. She almost fell against him.

  “Mind if I join you?” Sam stood on the top step, three boxes stacked on one arm and three bottles of water in the crook of the other.

  “Land’s sake, Sam. You don’t need no invitation. We’d be delighted to have your company.”

  “Thanks, Naomi.” As Sam turned toward Katherine, his eyes spoke the pages his voice did not. “Would you give me a hand here, Katherine?”

  The couple of feet between them may as well have been miles. Her heart missed him. Longed for his nearness, his touch. She’d have to wait for the yearning to fade. And it surely would...one day. “Certainly.” Katherine took a box and a bottle of water and set them on the empty chair. Then she took another set and helped Naomi get settled.

  Sam sat down on the top step.

  “So, how’re you and the kids doing up there?” Naomi asked.

  “Great. Some of them have done this before, so there wasn’t as much of a learning curve as I’d figured there’d be. We’re right on schedule to be finished in a couple of days, and then that’ll give us an extra day to thoroughly tidy up the yard.”

  Tidy up. He was sitting in front of her right now, but his mind had begun the return to his life in London.

  Katherine didn’t want to talk. As awkward as his presence was, it allowed her to sit in silence while he entertained Naomi.

  As their conversation shifted to Sam’s work, the twang of live guitar music accompanied another country song now playing on the radio. Josh and one of the teenage boys had dug their guitars out of the back of the bus and were strumming along. The few minutes of rest and some fuel had apparently revived the kids, and several of the girls had gotten up and were trying to Two Step to the music. Laughter rolled across the front yard at their failed attempts.

  “Sam, Katherine, why don’t you two show these young people how it’s done?” Josh’s voice boomed up the sidewalk to the front porch. His eyes sparkled with mischief.

  A knot rose in Katherine’s throat. She’d never told him, but he knew. And that knowledge confirmed one of the topics of conversation between Sam and Josh on the ride up here from Crescent Bluff. But Sam wouldn’t have dared to tell him everything.

  Sam made eye contact with her, read her thoughts, and then turned back to the group. “No. I don’t think so.”

  A low chant crept through the group. “Sam, Sam, Sam...” With each syllable, the volume grew.

  As his gaze asked again and hers answered, Sam turned back to to the group. “C’mon, guys. Cut it out. Not now.” But his words did nothing to dissuade them.

  The kids could tell Katherine, the female chaperone, not Sam, was the one who didn’t want to dance. This was certainly not the way to change the original stick-in-the-mud impression she’d made.

  One of the songs they’d danced to that night at Cattlemen’s began to play, and as if she’d lost all control of her body, she stood and held out her hand. “They won’t let it go.”

  “Thanks.” As Sam stood in response, a cheer rose up from the kids. “One time, guys. That’s all.”

  His hand was warm as he grasped hers and led her down the steps. When she turned to face him, and he placed his hand high on her back, the pressure of his touch sent electricity surging though her body. They’d danced together enough by now that she no longer had to concentrate on the steps, his hands told her everything she needed to know. She closed her eyes. As they moved and turned, everything disappeared except Sam. She missed his nearness, she missed his touch—she missed him so much.

  When the song ended, Sam quickly dipped her and then drew her close. The feeling of home she’d felt the first time he’d held her hand swept over her entire body. She wanted to stay in his embrace forever. She belonged here. Looking deeply into his eyes, she saw regret and wanted to kiss it away and say the words he longed to hear. Cheers and applause rising up from the kids pulled her back to reality. She couldn’t. Despite how much her heart told her she belonged here, this could never be her home.

  A group of girls gathered around them. The short blonde, Hannah, if Katherine remembered correctly, spoke. “Katherine, you were great! Would you teach us some of the steps?”

  Sam dropped her hand and grinned like a proud parent.

  “If we have time at the end of the day today or tomorrow, I’d be happy to.” She was no longer an outsider. She smiled her appreciation at Sam. “But the most important part is finding a good partner.”

  ~*~

  The afternoon sped by. The pounding on the roof had stopped. The group packed tools in the back of the bus and stacked large pieces of debris by the road for pick up later this week. Any Two Step lessons would have to wait until tomorrow.

  The rest of Naomi’s house had been cleaned from top to bottom, and although the list was completed, Katherine had an idea for tomorrow. “Naomi, unless you have something else you’d like me to do tomorrow, I thought I’d repaint the chairs on your front porch and plant some flowers in the pots.”

  Josh was already planning a trip to the local hardware store for some supplies. He wouldn’t mind adding a few items to the list.

  “As I said earlier, I don’t want to take up all your time. Plus, I think them girls out there are expecting some dancing lessons.” She smiled and winked. “But it would be nice to have that porch prettied up some.”

  “It shouldn’t take me all day, so I’ll have time to show them a few steps either at lunch or at the end of the day tomorrow.”

  “You and Sam, right?” Her onyx eyes sparkled. “I didn’t know you two was an item.”

  “We’re not an item, Naomi. Just friends.” A more transparent reply would have substituted the words “no longer” in the place of “not.”

  “Uh-huh. Well, tell that to Mr. Sam. That boy’s sweet on you. I seen it in his eyes. You can’t tell me you don’t
see it, too.”

  She did more than see it. Just a glance from him filled her with a longing she’d never felt before him. “Sam’s been visiting his aunt in Crescent Bluff over the last few months. We’ve dated a bit, but we’re just friends. Really. He’s flying home to London right after we return, and I’m headed back to Dallas.”

  The wheels on Naomi’s walker squeaked as she shuffled over to the bookshelf beside the fireplace and picked up a black and white picture of a bride and a groom. Katherine had noticed it when she’d dusted the shelves earlier. Naomi’s wedding picture.

  She held it out to Katherine. “This was my Harold. Nary a more patient man walked this earth.” As her fingers traced the faded image through the glass, she chuckled. “This man done asked me to marry him after our first date. I knew then he was crazy as a loon, and I turned him down straight away ’cause he wasn’t the man o’ my dreams. Turns out, he was so much more.” Naomi smiled as she gently placed the picture back on the shelf. “Now I can’t imagine my life without him. That man loved me, and I loved him. Not with that fluffy love on them soap operas, but the kind of love that’s weathered the storms and come out stronger.” She grasped Katherine’s hand. “Sometimes we can spend a heap of our years lookin’ so hard for Mr. Perfect that we miss Mr. Right even though he’s standing smack-dab in front of us. I almost missed my chance. Don’t be mule-headed and miss yours.”

  27

  Jen had been right. Katherine had fallen asleep seconds after her head hit the pillow last night, and she hadn’t heard any sounds the girls had made after that. She silently pulled on some clothes, tiptoed through the maze of sleeping bags, and then walked down the hall to the cafeteria for some alone time before this second day started.

  She filled the largest cup she could find with coffee and headed toward the courtyard. She’d always loved this time of day when the sun slowly revealed creation and everything was fresh and new. No amount of extra sleep was worth sacrificing the dawn of a new day. Holding the cup in one hand and her notebook and Bible in the other, she turned backward and managed to push open one of the glass doors onto the patio.

  She placed her coffee and books onto the same table as yesterday and faced west, waiting for the sun to rise over her shoulder and awaken the landscape. An all too familiar bass voice sounded softly behind her. “Good morning.”

  Obviously, the solitude she sought wasn’t on this morning’s schedule. Going back inside now would be mean and hurtful, so she turned toward the table in the corner behind her and plastered on a polite, if not heartfelt, smile.

  Sam sat at the table in the predawn gray morning. He’d watched her come out onto the patio and never made a sound. Maybe he’d hoped she’d go back in, or maybe he’d hoped she’d never notice him. No, that was ridiculous. He wouldn’t have spoken if that were the case. “Good morning.”

  A book was spread open on the table in front of him. Not a book. Well yes, it was a book. The book. A Bible. She’d never seen him reading the Bible before. “What are you doing out here so early this morning?”

  “Thinking. I couldn’t sleep.”

  An uncharacteristic silence followed. She’d seen him at a loss for words only once—the long minutes between the time he’d proposed and told her the truth about his past and the time when she’d later closed the kitchen door, leaving him standing in silence on the driveway. “Thinking about what?”

  Even though his voice was steady, his eyes glistened in the dim, predawn light. Tears. She’d never seen him cry. Hadn’t even thought he was the type of guy who would. He was always so upbeat and playful. So in control.

  “Nothing that would interest you.” Quiet anger punctuated his words.

  “Oh.” She turned away.

  “Wait, Katherine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m just upset. I’ve been lied to.”

  She certainly knew all about that. And as momentarily satisfying as it might have been to point it out right now, she would have regretted it the second after the words were out of her mouth. She couldn’t treat someone she loved like that. She turned back and waited.

  “All these years, I’ve believed the lie that I could run my life and have everything turn out just the way I wanted if I worked hard enough at it. But look where it’s gotten me.” He rested his head in his hands.

  No matter how much he’d disappointed her, she still loved him. Nothing he could do would change that. Slowly, she stood and walked over to his table, and then sat down on the bench beside him. She placed one arm loosely around his waist and fought hard to keep from leaning her head on his shoulder.

  “I’ve messed things up royally, and the one thing I wanted more than anything else in life, I can’t have.”

  She could point out to him that the choices people made had consequences, but she wouldn’t. He knew that. “I’m sorry, Sam. Sorry for both of us.”

  “I’m tired, and I’m done.” He pulled away, picked up the Bible, and then stood. “I’m sure you wanted some time alone and didn’t intend to begin your day like this. I’ll see you on the bus.”

  Although her heart wanted to ask him to stay forever, the best thing to do was let him go. He’d be gone for good in a few days, and life would return to normal.

  ~*~

  The bus ride had been different today. The shock from the first time seeing the desolation had been dulled, and excited chatter among the kids replaced yesterday’s awed silence as they approached Naomi’s house. Their work was making a difference.

  Sam sat behind Josh as he drove the bus. Unlike yesterday, no friendly conversation passed between the two. Sam was not himself. Even if she hadn’t seen him on the patio early this morning, his unusual quietness would have told her something was wrong.

  As the bus pulled to a stop, Sam flipped some sort of an internal switch and was suddenly “on.” He came to life, joking with the kids and barking out instructions about who should carry what and where the items should be put.

  As Katherine picked up the shopping bags full of the sandpaper and white spray paint Josh had gotten last night, one of the boys carried a flat of portulaca from the back of the bus to the front porch. Painting and planting should keep her busy and off the roof for at least one more day. She’d worry about tomorrow later.

  The kids set up ladders and got ready to climb up onto the roof.

  Katherine knocked on the front door.

  A quiet voice from inside answered, “Come on in.”

  The delicious aroma of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies greeted Katherine as she stepped inside the small house. Suddenly she was sitting at the kitchen island at home and having a discussion with Dad about “James Bond” and his car. That night she could have never known the turns her life would take over the next few months. That in such a short time she would find—and then lose—Her One.

  Blue and white striped linen dish towels spread across the table covered Naomi’s handiwork.

  “My goodness, Naomi, you’ve been busy.”

  “It ain’t much, but I had to do something to thank them kids for all their hard work.”

  Katherine followed as Naomi pushed her walker over to the small desk in the corner of the living room.

  “I was wonderin’ if you’d bag ’em up for me so I could give ’em to the kids.”

  “I’d love to.” She could work on the front porch later today. Every extra project Naomi gave her only ensured she’d have to spend less, if any, time on the roof.

  Naomi opened the drawer and handed Katherine scissors, notecards, a marker set, and a hole punch. “The yarn and little sandwich bags is on the table. There should be enough for all the kids and adults to have three each.”

  “Naomi, you were so sweet to do this. I’m sure they’ll all love them.” Katherine sat down at the table.

  “I’d have written the cards myself, you know, but my writin’s gotten kinda shaky.”

  “I’m very happy to help.”

  “Would ya write this on one side of
the card, and then sign my name on the other? ‘God loves you with an everlasting love.’”

  Katherine recognized the words. They were a paraphrase of a Bible verse she’d read hundreds of times in her life. “That’s a really nice sentiment, Naomi.”

  “It ain’t no sentiment, honey. It’s truth.” She scooted her walker toward the living room. “Well, I believe it’s about time for my mornin’ program.”

  From the living room drifted excited banter between the host and contestants on some TV game show.

  Katherine couldn’t help but grin. If yesterday was an example, Naomi would be asleep in minutes and probably have no idea what happened on her “mornin’ program.”

  The pounding on the roof set in as Katherine began to write the “truth” on one side of each card and Naomi’s name on the other.

  ~*~

  Katherine had remembered a basket in one of the upper cabinets and had arranged the bags of cookies in it for Naomi to present to the kids at lunch break. The remaining time this morning had been spent cleaning the refrigerator and oven. After lunch, she’d take on the porch chairs and plant the flowers Josh had bought.

  A sudden silence fell over the house, the music for the noon news began, and Naomi’s recliner creaked. “My lands, is it lunchtime already?”

  A soft rap sounded on the door, and for some irrational reason Katherine’s breathing caught at the anticipation of seeing Sam holding their boxed lunches. “Yes, it is.”

  As she picked up the basket full of cookies and opened the door, her heart fell.

  Hannah and three other girls smiled up at her, lunches in hand. “Can we have our dance lesson after lunch? Please, Katherine?”

  Looking over their heads, Katherine quickly surveyed the front yard. Sam was nowhere to be found. Not under the trees, not under the eaves of the house, and not sitting in the small strip of shade beside the bus. She covered her disappointment with a smile. “Sure. Where’s Sam?”