Heaven's Lies

by Daniel Caet

  “I think we must be alert, Helel,” he continued. “It is evident that Gilgamesh does not like you, he sees you as a threat, a strange agent arrived from the outside, unable to remember anything that can justify his presence here. All that is enough to make him nervous.”

  I had to bite my tongue not to tell Armesh that there was much more behind his animosity towards me, although perhaps even Gilgamesh himself did not know it yet. Gilgamesh was a Nephilim; the son of an angel and I had no doubt about it. For eons the angels were sent by my father to guide and watch the humans and, when necessary, to impart justice, but our interaction with you should be limited to the orders received. Over time, some of my brothers and sisters ended up succumbing to the pleasures of the flesh of their human bodies giving rise to the Nephilim, human children, and therefore mortals, but with extraordinary gifts due to their angelic part. The Nephilim were usually taller, stronger and more beautiful than humans and they could all live several hundred years since they did not age at the normal human pace. My father was enraged when he learned of his existence, but due to the intercession of their parents he agreed to let them live. Unfortunately, the Nephilim always knew about their angelic ancestry and many of them tried to use it for their benefit, subjugating and subjecting the rest of humans in a terrible desire for power. Some even dared to rise as gods. The atrocities they committed were indescribable. Finally, my father understood that he could not allow the Nephilim to destroy the balance of his creation and sent the exterminating angels to destroy them, including myself. The Nephilim presented battle, but nothing could be done against us and finally, one by one they were exterminated. My father extended a veto over all of us, those who participated in the creation of a new Nephilim would share their destiny. For hundreds of years we had never heard of a new Nephilim, but I had no doubt that today I had been before one of them. The vibration that I had felt when facing Gilgamesh was the same vibration that all the angels feel when we are in the presence of another of us. At first, I could not recognise it because the way it feels in a totally human body is slightly different, but I had no doubt it was the same. The only reason Gilgamesh could induce that sensation was because he had an angelic part, that is, because he was a Nephilim, which also explained its height and corpulence.

  Armesh took me out of my thoughts indicating that we should continue the way back, but before we had to go through the market to pay one of the farmers who supplied the house. We left the square through a small alley that led to a large avenue. The light flooded everything when we arrived at the avenue and the heat stroke that we received erased all memory of the freshness that we enjoyed in the square. The avenue was truly impressive. The distance between both sides of the street was sufficient for four carts to pass in parallel without disturbing one another. The noise generated by the number of people and animals that circulated through it was deafening. The screams of the merchants of oils and incense at the ends of the street trying to attract the attention of potential customers, the voices of cart drivers unable to drive through the crowded avenue and the thousand simultaneous conversations made it impossible for me to hear my own thoughts. When I turned my gaze to the north, I saw that the avenue led to a rectangular building with a large front staircase here I could see people going up and down.

  “It's the temple of Inanna,” Armesh said, raising his voice as he checked my interest. “Today is oracle day, the people of the city and the surrounding area come to make offerings to the priests in exchange for their predictions. But we must go in the opposite direction, the market is near the south entrance of the wall.”

  While we were heading in the direction indicated, an idea germinated in my head. What if the temple seers could complete the vision of Liliath? Perhaps this oracle could increase the details of the vision that the girl had described to me only a few hours before. Unfortunately, I had to erase that idea from my head, I could not risk the priests bringing to Gilgamesh the true reasons for my presence in Uruk and, of course, I would not endanger Armesh and his family.

  It was only for a few seconds I was lost in that thought, but when I came back to myself I realised that I had separated from Armesh. I stopped and looked around for him in the crowd, but I could not find him. A feeling of anxiety and helplessness seized me, and I began to push my way through the crowd, only forward without having the faintest idea which way I was moving while shouting the name of Armesh. My desperation increased with each step, people shrieked at me as I tried to break through and I noticed how it was getting harder and harder for me to move forward. I seemed to be moving completely in the opposite direction of the crowd. For a second, I felt as if the human current was going to drag me, thousands of bodies collided with mine as they insulted me and made my progress more and more difficult. I was noticing how I lacked the air and the strength to make my way. My right hand hit something solid and my fingers closed around it as if it were a natural, expected movement. The sudden weight on my arm took a few seconds to trigger in my mind the feeling of recognition. I stopped short and the weight on my arm disappeared. I looked around without knowing what or who I expected to find, but knowing that what just happened was not a coincidence. The object around which my fingers had closed was the hilt of my sword.

  The angelic swords are made of light and as such are a part of the essence of the angel to which they are delivered. They are a gift from my father to each of their children and are part of our being. When we materialise in a human body our swords remain hidden attached to us, and are only visible as a drawing on our right arm, similar to what some humans use to decorate their body. The difference is that this drawing is our name in the angelic language and, therefore, specific to each one of us. When we need it, our sword materialises in our hand immediately and in the same way disappears transformed into our name again if we need to hide it. In your eyes our light sword is shown as a solid structure of a silver shine and the size of a man's arm. It is not the kind of weapon that goes unnoticed among humans and, of course, it was not a human who had put it in my hand.

  My head was spinning, I looked in all directions looking for who could have given me my sword. Whoever it was, I was sure he was still there, watching my reaction. Whoever handed me the sword knew exactly what and who I was and that only meant that, not only me but Armesh and his whole family, were in danger. Someone touched my shoulder and I turned immediately. For a second, I was about to materialise my sword ready to strike a blow, but something in my being controlled my instinct at the last second. The face I found in front of me was Armesh's.

  “Helel, are you okay?” he asked, “For a moment I thought I had lost you.”

  “Yes,” I answered uncertainly. “I... I also thought I was lost. It's too crowded here.”

  “You're pale,” he said, touching my face. “And so cold. We'd better go home, I'm afraid that all the events of today have been too much for your condition.”

  “But, you needed to go to the market” I protested.

  “Never mind,” he said bluntly, “I'll send one of the servants later. Suriath will kill me if I return you in worse shape than you had this morning.”

  Armesh guided me off the avenue through one of the side streets and we circulated parallel to the main way until we reached the joint with one of the alleys that led to the main gate of the city. From there it was a short walk to his house. I was quiet all the way and Armesh respected my silence without questions. My head was spinning. What had just happened in the city involved many things. First, that someone else knew who I was and, whoever that someone was, he should also know what had happened to me. If that someone decided to provide this information to Gilgamesh, it could be the end of all of us. That completely changed my situation. If for a few days I had thought that being in Armesh's house could be the perfect hiding place for me until I discovered the reason for everything that had happened to me, I had completely deceived myself. But why give me my sword? Was that his way of letting me know he knew my identity? And what was mor
e important, how had he gotten my sword? Humans cannot touch an angelic sword unless it is an angel who gives it to you, that left me with only two possible explanations. Either the person who had given it to me in the city was an angel or he had received it from an angel. But whether it was one thing or the other, what was the message he wanted to send me? Was it just a warning that he knew who I was or was something else? There were too many things that I could not explain at that moment but in the midst of all that confusion there was something very relevant. My being had recognised my sword, had merged with it as it had always been, and the drawing on my arm showed it. That only meant one thing. In my interior, somewhere lost inside me, there was a part of an angel. Trapped in a human body, yes, but it was still there, perhaps asleep but alive, beating inside that prison of flesh and skin. The being that I was, had not been completely lost and that opened the door to hope.

  We arrived at the house when the sun was already at its zenith and we both appreciated the freshness inside. Armesh excused himself and went to talk to his servants to arrange Sadith's trip to Akkad. The little girl would travel in a caravan organised by her father to the city of Kish, located north of Uruk and halfway to Akkad. There, her uncle Moaj, Suriath's brother, would pick her up and take her to her destination in the temple of Ishtar. Due to the danger of the trip, Armesh had organised a commercial caravan, which guaranteed, not only that the girl would be accompanied the entire trip, but that it would be protected by Armesh’s men of confidence who would protect both the girl and the goods.

  When Armesh left, I went to my room, eager to see if my control over my sword remained the same now that my body was human. I entered the room and closed the curtain behind me. I had told Armesh that I wanted to sleep for a while and the servants had told me that Suriath and the girls were in the garden picking flowers to replenish the ointments and potions she had been administering to me. I took off the cloak that I wore over my shoulders and that Armesh had given me to protect me from the cold of the morning when we left the house on the way to the palace. My eyes filled with tears when I saw my name written on the skin of my arm in the beautiful strokes of our writing. That drawing brought me closer to myself, to everything that I had been, to everything that I was much more than anything else. My fingers caressed the drawing following its outline, I closed my eyes and my fingers continued their way over the different letters that made up my name. The emotion was immense. Only one wish was enough for the sword to materialise in my hand. It was strange to see the sword as a human, not as pure light, as energy, but as something solid, cold and bright. My hand reacted immediately swinging the sword with a comforting ease. My body remembered. The sword began to dance in my hands as if it weighed no more than a feather, drawing arcs in the air. The figures described by its silvery shine when moving in the air were beautiful. The edge emitted a slight sound when cutting the air, like a soft music. I started to move the sword over my head while my body executed movements that had never been so complicated. The limitations of my human body. I threw the sword over me as I ducked and turned the same time to pick it up again. When I finished the turn and took the sword in its fall I found her at the door staring at me. Liliath's eyes were wide as her smile filled her face.

  “What is that?” she asked as she came up to me so quickly that I did not have time to hide my weapon. “It is very beautiful.”

  Her fingers touched the sword, but she quickly withdrew them like if she had received a sudden pain when touching something very hot.

  Her eyes stared at me.

  “It's strange, it's very cold,” she said, still looking at me. “I thought the light was because it was hot.”

  “The light? Can you see the light?”

  “Sure, can’t you?” she answered. “It is very beautiful and warm. But if you touch it, it's very cold.”

  Her red hair fell over her face and gave her a warm colour. Somehow, she reflected that light that I could no longer see.

  “What is it?” she asked again, curious.

  “It is a sword, very old and powerful, it has been with me for a long time.”

  “You say it with regret,” she said, reading my face.

  “Yes,” I said, trying to smile. “It is a memory, a piece of something that I can no longer have, something I can no longer be.”

  She smiled at me and turned to go to the door. When she reached the curtain, she turned her head and smiling at me again she looked me straight in the eyes and said:

  “It will be our secret Helel, I will not tell anyone. Yours and mine, nobody else’s. I promise you.”

  She disappeared behind the curtain and with her, all the light left the room.

  We had dined in the shade of the palm trees in the garden and everyone had retired to their rooms because the air was too hot and dense and inside the house the temperature was much lower. I did the same, but I could not sleep. I felt that the walls of my room oppressed me. I decided to get up and go to the patio and sit by the water with the hope of overcoming the restlessness that was choking me. The patio was dark, but the full moon lit it so much that the white walls seemed to be made of silver. I sat by the pond and closed my eyes as I breathed deeply the scent of thyme planted in some of the patio pots and heard running water. I breathed deeply trying to clear my mind of any thought for a second when I felt the vibration inside me. My eyes opened immediately, and I found him in front of me, a few steps away. His wings were folded behind him but still visible, his black hair falling over his wavy shoulders, exactly as always. His face lit by the light of the moon, he smiled at me and opened his arms to call me by my name.

  “Helel.”

  I slowly got up from the pond not believing that he was there.

  “Abaddon. Abaddon, is that you?”

  I did not wait for an answer, my body launched towards him and we merged in a hug. He covered me with his wings and suddenly all the pain, confusion and anguish of the last days melted into the tears that filled my eyes.

  “Helel, my brother. How I've missed you! It took me days to find out where you were. You're good?”

  I did not know what to answer but Abaddon understood my lack of response.

  “It does not matter. We do not have too much time, but we cannot talk here. It's better that we go.”

  I did not have time to react, in a moment Abaddon had risen taking me with him and suddenly we were on the top of a hill from where we could see all Uruk. The city was even more impressive from a distance, with the wall slashing against the night sky. Just a few lights here and there that shone in the guard posts disturbed the immense black shadow of his silhouette.

  “Are you okay?” he asked again. “You know that sometimes human bodies do not react well when we move so fast. And your body is now …”

  “Human,” I said, finishing the sentence for him. “What happened to me, brother?” I asked, staring at his eyes.

  “On that I have an idea, but I think the fundamental part is why.” For a moment I saw in his eyes that he did not know how to continue.

  “Let me help you, somehow, I cannot explain why, I lost my angelic body and I am trapped in a human body.”

  “I'm afraid it's something more complicated, Helel.”

  “Abaddon, I do not have time for detours and it is not in the nature of an exterminating angel to turn things around, so I beg you to be clear.”

  “There are only two ways in which an angel can stop being an angel. One is to be killed by an angelic sword.”

  "I know, but since I'm not dead, I guess what happened to me is the other option.”

  “The other way is for the angel to lose what made him an angel and what was given to him by our father at the time of his creation.”

  The explanation fell on me like a slab. There was only one thing that angels and humans had in common, and that thing was the gift of our father at the time of our birth that was the central part of our nature, of everything we are.