Dawn's Early Light

by Jessica Scott

  “I never get tired of kittens.”

  “You can have her.”

  “Nope, can’t. My boyfriend is allergic.” She clicked on the computer. “Want me to squeeze her in? Hayley has an opening, if that’s why you’re here.”

  He probably could have dropped the kitten off with his parents and been done with his Good Samaritan duties. But no, he was here because he was a sucker.

  Because if he was honest with himself, he’d been looking for a convenient excuse to see Hayley again. It couldn’t hurt, could it? Hell, it wasn’t like she’d run screaming from the house when he’d accidentally flashed her from the top of the stairs.

  “Yeah, I’d like to get her checked out. Maybe pair her up with a foster family.”

  Poppy scoffed quietly. “Good luck. It’s kitten season so we’re already pretty full.” She typed something into the computer. “Phone number?”

  Cam rattled it off.

  “She’ll see you in room two in a few minutes.”

  The kitten mewed pitifully and Cam picked her up, hoping she wouldn’t have a repeat of the morning’s incident. “What am I going to do with you?” he whispered to her. She mewed and tucked herself into a little ball beneath his chin.

  And that’s how Hayley found him.

  Chapter 9

  SHE’D BEEN PLANNING on avoiding him for, oh, forever. Her pride could only handle so much when it came to Cam Warren. But watching him stand there with a tiny kitten curled beneath his day-old stubble damn near melted her heart.

  Her brain said to be reasonable. The less rational parts of her anatomy were already cheering hooray for penis. Why, oh why, had she not looked away when she’d seen him standing on those stairs in all his glory?

  And oh, Naked Cam really was glorious.

  Cam stroked his finger down the kitten’s side and she could hear the thing purring from across the small exam room.

  Damn it, what kind of a woman turned away a man who rescued kittens?

  She steeled herself and walked out of the exam room over to Cam.

  “Where’d you find her?”

  “Down by the river.”

  “She’s cute.”

  “She thinks we’re going steady, but my heart’s already taken.” His lips curled at the edges.

  Hayley arched one brow. “Got a wife and kids back in Texas?”

  “Nah. Old girlfriend. Can’t seem to stop thinking about her.” Cam said as he watched her with those dark blue eyes in a way that was warm and sexy and dependable.

  Then she remembered the black ink and torn skin on his back. The war had changed him. She just didn’t know how much.

  “Can I see her?”

  “Careful. She leaks if you squeeze her too tight.”

  Hayley laughed. “Something tells me there’s a story there.”

  “Little bugger peed on me this morning.”

  “So that’s what the smell is.”

  “Ha ha. I washed off and changed my shirt.”

  Hayley examined the kitten quickly. Her little eyes were still blue and her teeth weren’t even close to breaking through. “She’s about three weeks old and lucky you found her. She wouldn’t have survived on her own.”

  “Yeah, well, can you keep her or find her a home? I’ve never been a cat person.”

  “Could have fooled me with the way she was tucked beneath your chin.”

  His lips curled up again and the lines beneath his eyes crinkled a little. “Maybe I’m afraid of hurting her.”

  There was something in his eyes, something hiding behind that dark, sexy smile. Hayley suddenly wasn’t sure they were talking about the kitten anymore. Maybe they never had been.

  “Maybe you should have more faith in yourself than that.”

  What was he hinting around at? Was he damaged from the war? The news talked about PTSD and vets coming home all screwed up. Was he trying to tell her he wasn’t okay?

  Was he warning her away?

  Was he…just like her dad now?

  She examined the kitten’s eyes and ears. “She’s pretty healthy. What are you feeding her?”

  “The souls of my enemies?”

  Hayley tried not to laugh. “I have no idea how to respond to that. Maybe try kitten formula instead? Might be a less bloodthirsty option.”

  “We’ll see. She’s developed a taste for them.”

  Hayley shook her head and turned away to wash her hands. It was so easy in this moment to forget how he had hurt her. To forget how she’d been pathetic and weak when he’d left. She’d nearly flown to Fort Benning to beg him to come home with her. Because the idea of facing the world alone, without him, had hurt too much.

  But, somehow, she’d gotten on with her life. Without him.

  And now he was back. Making jokes. Making her want the thing she’d stopped wanting years ago, even though she’d never really forgotten the way he’d made her feel. The way he could make her laugh, even in the darkest times.

  She’d loved that about him then.

  But there were shadows now, where his smile had been before. They were the same shadows she’d seen in her father’s eyes.

  She couldn’t love a man like that again.

  Wiping her hands on a paper towel, she breathed deeply, trying to find her center before she turned back to him.

  “Hayley.”

  It wasn’t just his voice that sent warmth prickling down her spine. It was his presence. She could feel him there, right behind her.

  He was so much bigger than when they’d been kids. His hands were gentle on her shoulders. Stronger than she remembered.

  She stilled. It would have been smarter if she pulled away to protect herself.

  But she couldn’t pull away. She never could when it came to Cam Warren.

  “It’s really great to see you.” His voice was low, a gentle caress over her skin. She could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her neck.

  She wanted more. She wanted to turn beneath his touch and slip her hands around his waist. To lean up and press her lips to his throat and breathe him in. Would he still smell the same? What would it feel like to kiss him again?

  She wanted to get lost in the feelings and the memories and the new sensations.

  “It’s nice to see you too.” Her voice was scratchy and jagged, as if she’d been screaming for hours at the top of her lungs. She cleared her throat and turned, leaning back against the counter. She glanced over his shoulder. “She’s asleep.”

  “She does that a lot.”

  “As kittens do.”

  He was still too close. He was still…everything she wanted.

  And everything she could not have.

  Chapter 10

  HE COULDN’T SHAKE the feeling that he was walking on sand with her. That he was doing everything by the seat of his pants, haphazardly guessing what his next move should be.

  Because he wanted to make a move. She wasn’t the girl he’d known and he damn sure wasn’t the boy he’d been. He didn’t know the woman standing in front of him anymore. But he didn’t want to scare her off.

  “So, ah, I was wondering if you’d come to the supper tonight.”

  She frowned, rubbing her hands on her thighs as if she didn’t know what to do with them.

  He wanted to cup her face, cradling her cheeks like he used to. He couldn’t remember when, but she’d told him she liked that once. After that day, he’d done it every time he’d kissed her. Except the last time.

  During that last kiss, he’d kept his hands by his sides. He hadn’t been able to touch her that one final time, knowing he was heading to war. Knowing he couldn’t promise he’d make it back.

  “The supper your family is charging people to attend?” There was mild censure in her tone. He wasn’t sure she was wrong.

  “They’re apparently donating the money to get the memorial rededicated in town. Add in a pillar for the OIF and OEF.”

  She frowned. “What are ‘OIF’ and ‘OEF’?”

  He tipped
his chin. “Iraq and Afghanistan. Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom.”

  She nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He almost smiled. She used to do that when she was nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad sign, but at least she hadn’t kicked him out.

  “Anyway, I, uh, don’t really want to face the whole family alone.”

  “They’re your family.”

  “Yeah, but Milo will be there and he’s about as obnoxious as he was when he was still eating his boogers on the bus.”

  She laughed. Cam grinned in response. “You’re scared of a dopey professional college student? He’s been going to school so long that the entire town has given up on him ever getting a real job.”

  “I mean, if he’s got his parents paying for it, then more power to him.”

  A shadow flitted across her gaze and Cam could have kicked himself for bringing that up. It felt too similar to the fight that had nearly broken them.

  Cam wanted to touch her, to feel the contrast between her skin and his.

  He surrendered to the urge and reached for her hand. She was soft, softer than he remembered, softer than he’d imagined. Her skin was silk and warmth, drawing him back from the memories and into the moment. She stilled but did not pull away.

  “Please come tonight,” he whispered. It was as close to begging as he could come while still keeping a semblance of his pride.

  She lowered her eyes and he went absolutely still. It was an easy thing to close the space between them and brush his lips against hers. So he did. He didn’t invade. Never that. This kiss was just a hint. The barest caress. A simple, erotic question, and he was dying a little death waiting for her to answer.

  She slid her arms around his neck and opened to the taste of his tongue. It twined with hers and his skin stretched taut across his bones, his pulse breaking against every nerve ending.

  He burned in the places pressed against her. And when she opened beneath his mouth, he surrendered, fully, deeply, losing himself in the taste of her.

  She was soft and warm and open beneath his touch. Everything came back to life inside him. Echoes of the violence he’d lived through mixed with the raw desire searing through him. It was ruthless and demanding, full of things he hadn’t said and those she hadn’t asked.

  A thousand other memories surfaced in their kiss. Things she liked. Things he’d long since forgotten. She was like sunshine. She was the light he’d remembered during those long nights on guard in Iraq.

  The light he’d forced himself to stop remembering when he’d realized every mark the war had left on him was permanent.

  She smelled and tasted both familiar and new. Like mint and lemon and honey and…home. It made him want to take her away from the office and make both of them forget that they hadn’t spoken to each other in over a decade.

  It was Cam who’d started the kiss and Cam who ended it with light, sucking nibbles. He still held her, one arm looped casually around her shoulders, his thumb stroking her cheek.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered against her mouth.

  She toyed with a button on his shirt and then turned. Just enough to create space between them. He tried not to be hurt. Tried to focus on reading her body language. Her emotions. Any sign that he hadn’t royally screwed this up.

  Again.

  “I can’t promise anything about tonight,” she said. “If there’s an emergency or…”

  He kept his voice level. Calm. Smooth and steady. “I can live with that.” He couldn’t push her faster than she was ready for. He wouldn’t do that to her.

  He could be patient. At least for now.

  And Hayley hadn’t said no.

  It was a small victory. And sometimes, the little things mattered the most.

  Chapter 11

  HAYLEY HAD BEEN to the fair every year since she opened her clinic. This was the first year that she was ceding the responsibility of running her booth to the local 4-H Club. The kids had all but begged her for the chance to hand out her branded knickknacks like fridge magnets with her contact number on it.

  There was probably a negative return on investment on those promotional items, but around here, there wasn’t a straight line between marketing dollars and new customers. Her customers came to her because she was flexible and because she didn’t run up their bills with unnecessary medicine or vaccines.

  It was strange to be arriving as a visitor instead of a participant. She parked her truck and glanced down at her email on her phone. A slow smile spread across her lips as she opened Ashley’s response.

  You ARE an idiot but those Warren boys were always too damn sexy. Cam has always been bad news but you know that.

  But I know you won’t listen. You’re one of those people who don’t believe fire is hot. You’re going to touch that sexy fire, aren’t you? —Ash

  Hayley couldn’t stop smiling. It was so good to hear from her. She wished Ash would get her ass back on this side of the planet.

  She glanced over as an old red F-150 pulled in next to her. “Speaking of fire,” she mumbled.

  Cam was definitely on the warm side of the spectrum these days. Her thoughts took a decidedly inappropriate turn as she tried to find the right description for his shoulders. How to contain all of that man in mere words?

  He didn’t get out of the truck, and she didn’t want to walk over first. But she was curious. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. She didn’t want to admit that a hell of a lot more than curiosity had her walking over to his truck. And spending a few more minutes doing her hair and makeup before she left the house.

  After a long moment, she rapped on the window and he rolled it down. She found him nursing a beer, looking at the town hall like he’d rather be anywhere else.

  “What, no kitten?”

  “Locked her in the bathroom with enough canned goods and shotgun shells to survive the apocalypse.”

  “I’m sure she’ll appreciate being prepared.” She grinned. “Is there a reason you’re sitting out here instead of in there?” She leaned on the window, feeling more at ease than she had earlier at the office.

  “I suppose I could lie and say I’m just nervous about seeing everyone.” There was grit in his voice, as if he’d just woken up and was supporting a serious hangover.

  “Are you always nervous about seeing your family?” She didn’t miss that he’d said he was lying about only being nervous. There was something else going on. But he clearly wasn’t ready to tell her what it was.

  And after that morning in the office, Hayley was inclined to be patient.

  “Nah. But I also don’t usually see them in front of the entire town either.”

  “I guess there’s no pressure that comes with being the hometown bad boy hero, huh?”

  He looked down at his beer. “I’m no hero, Hayley. I’m just a boy who went off to war and finally stumbled his way back.”

  “You’re a hero to the people you left behind. A lot of folks remember that you were the captain of the baseball team when they won the State Championships. You know, they haven’t gotten it back since you graduated.”

  He shook his head. “I was more trouble than I was worth in high school. People seem to have forgotten a detail or two.”

  “Maybe those details aren’t important. People need something to believe in.”

  He took a long pull off his beer. “Yeah, well, they don’t get to believe in me.”

  She reached out, placing her hand on his upper arm, because the pain in his voice was too raw. “And you don’t get to choose what other people believe.”

  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He went utterly still. The lines around his eyes relaxed. His mouth grew softer.

  It surprised her when his hand moved to cover hers. “It’s been so fucking long since someone touched me like this,” he whispered.

  There were no games in his single statement. No falsehoods.

  Just aching pain and resignation, like
that of an old injury that had never healed right and now acted up during thunderstorms and cold spells.

  “Cam.” She said his name to draw his attention away from his past and toward her. He needed to distract himself from what he was feeling. And this time, she knew what she was getting herself into.

  And she was okay with it. At least, that’s what she told herself.

  “We can’t be all that bad,” she whispered, pulling her hand back.

  He made a rough noise. “Clearly you haven’t spent a lot of time around Milo these days.”

  She laughed. “Maybe he won’t be here tonight.”

  “Yeah, right. He was practically ready to give me a hand job just thinking I might come talk to his protest club.”

  She tipped her head. “Are you going to do it?”

  “I’d rather have a wire brush dipped in hot sauce and run over my bare ass than go talk to a bunch of self-righteous, know-it-all douche-nozzles.”

  “That’s a pretty harsh assessment, isn’t it? Especially about folks you don’t know. They’re willing to talk to you and hear about your experiences.”

  He killed the rest of the beer and then crunched the can. His motions were jerky and tense. He seemed raw.

  “I know their type. They’re as bad as the ones who email about how they wish they were over there, killing all those Iraqis. Always the folks who are farthest from the front line who are the most bloodthirsty.”

  “Do you get a lot of email from civilians?”

  “When I was first deployed. Maybe one or two a month. Lots of candy and porn in the care packages those days.” He glanced over at her. “What? There are lots of lonely days and nights. Can’t expect soldiers to be warrior monks.”

  “Weren’t there rules about that kind of stuff?”

  He glanced at her sideways, his lips twisted in that odd half grin she was starting to like. “The candy or the porn?”

  “I’m honestly not sure how to answer that.”

  He leaned his head back on the seat, staring at the ceiling. “I’m not a saint, Hayley.” He closed his eyes once more. “I can’t be what these people expect me to be.”