Dust and smoke clouded around me.
My vision disappeared.
The person who had been two feet in front of me was suddenly gone.
I sucked in a breath only to feel dirt and smoke clog up my throat. My chest compressed in a cough, trying to hack the debris out of my system.
My blinded eyes watered.
Tears streaked through the dust layered on my face.
I felt something start to stir in my stomach as my heartbeat raced.
Panic.
Every breath I attempted to take resulted in more coughing that felt as if someone was stabbing my ribs from the inside.
I couldn't even scream for help.
I was going to die here.
I pulled the earplugs from my ears and let them drop from my hands.
I was barely aware of the gunshots going off around me. It all sounded as if my head had been dunked underwater.
A face floated into my mind.
Nate.
Where was he?
He said he'd keep me safe.
I couldn't see.
Was he even still here?
Had he left me?
Had he died?
Oh god no.
No more death.
Please no more.
My knees hit the ground as my legs gave up on my blind stumbling. It was getting harder and harder to suck in any air.
Grey filtered in around the edges of the nothing in my vision. It wasn't smoke.
I felt myself sway slightly on my knees as my head felt lighter and lighter, like it was trying to carry the rest of my body away from here.
I didn't even feel it when I hit the ground.
FOURTEEN
"I told her this was a bad idea," Nate's voice filtered into my thoughts.
I wanted to move.
But I couldn't.
I tried to but my body wouldn't let me.
It felt heavy and tired.
It was like someone had tied weights to each of my joints. Moving was impossible.
"Nathaniel she's fine," Gabby's voice joined his. "She woke up only moments after she fell. They got her to rest once the medic checked her over in the truck. She's okay."
"That's if the soldiers can be believed."
"They're your soldiers. You trained them. You put your life in their hands on a regular basis. If you couldn't trust them, then what the hell were you thinking?"
He sighed. Tension and nervous energy filled the space around us.
And finally my body responded.
The glue holding my eyes shut melted, and they flickered a bit before fully opening. My face scrunched into a wince at the intrusion of such a bright light hanging above me and burning my retinas.
"Rosa? Thank God! Don't you ever do that again." I didn't get a chance to respond before I was trapped in my sister's arms.
The shock of being suddenly upright did not feel good. My vision wavered slightly and I had to blink a couple of times to clear it. Waves crashed heavily in my stomach.
"I'm okay. Sorry I scared you," I muttered in a hoarse, broken voice, returning the hug.
She squeezed me for a few seconds longer, unable to fully disguise the shaking of her arms, before she stood and wiped at her eyes. Then she just watched me for a few moments, assessing me. Maybe she didn't trust the doctors as much as she made out.
"Well," she cleared her throat loudly. It echoed slightly in the empty room. "I'm needed back at the armoury. I had to put up a massive fight just to get here in the first place. There's a lot to do now that you guys are back from your mission. I'll be back soon though. I promise." Gabby looked over at Nate. A slight hint of concern flashed through her eyes.
Somehow I caught the impression she wasn't concerned on his behalf.
As soon as she fled the room I looked down at my hands.
Everything that had happened earlier was flickering through my mind at high speed.
The look on Colton's face as he recognised me.
The drizzle of blood trailing from his head.
The blank look in his eyes.
Then there was nothing.
Dust.
Smoke.
Screaming.
I suddenly found it hard to differentiate these methods from those of an actual Xiet attack.
Brutal, bloody, and unnecessary.
Death stained my memories in a way it never had before. Never had I been, or wanted to be, part of the side terrorising my people. I felt sick just thinking about it.
"I thought you said you wanted to help my people," I mumbled, feeling small.
Powerless.
Confused.
As I sat on that makeshift hospital bed, body weak with shock, I had to wonder what I'd become a part of.
"We do." I scoffed slightly, ignoring the tears that left wet tracks in the layer of grime that still stained my face.
"How is gunning people down in the middle of the street helping them?"
"You knew our plan before we started. I told you people would die. It's what needs to happen to get them out and keep us safe. There's only so much we can do to save them."
Why did it always have to be us versus them? And since when did I no longer count as one of them?
"It's kind of hard to see that when you have their blood on your face!" His hand reached up to rub at the red smeared on his cheek. The dark burgundy was already dry.
He hadn't even felt the need to wash away the blood.
That's how highly their lives were valued here. The lives that were wasted in order to protect these highly trained soldiers from a non-threat. There was little danger in facing the people from Palla. They couldn't have hurt us. Not past our training and armour. But that made little difference to the man in front of me. To any of the people who'd been there. Who were here.
"You're murderers," I stated, thinking back on all the times they must have done things like this in the past.
Were any of the military attacks even Xiets? Or was it always OTF. The ones who swore to help us. Protect us.
Kill us.
"You're no better than the terrorists you claim to save us from!"
He growled loudly and slammed his fist into the concrete wall next to my hospital bed.
He didn't even flinch at the impact, though I'm sure his knuckles would have at the very least been bruised, if not split or broken.
"Do not compare me to them. Ever. Again."
A deathly calm settled over him.
The rage in his gaze as it swept over me was, in a word, terrifying. He'd never been anything but nice to me, maybe a little annoyed, but this kind of fury… It was like he had taken a needle and forced it through to the very centre of my being.
I realised, then and there, that he was dangerous.
Not just to our common enemy, but to everyone he came into contact with. He was damaged, twisted by the world around him. So much so that even the ones he loved the most wouldn't be safe.
I'd thought he'd protect me. I'd thought he would only ever do things that were ultimately right. Make things better.
Isn't that what you're meant to find in those who claim to save lives?
I'm not sure what he could see in my eyes but he turned and stalked out the door. His rage trailed behind him with every step.
And finally, I was alone.
Abandoned in the medical centre, unsure of where this left me.
✽✽✽
After I'd been checked over by a couple of nurses, and made to eat and drink something, I started to feel a little better. At least physically. The heaviness faded, and my stomach settled. But before I could fully appreciate it, and use my new-found time to think about everything that had happened in the last day, my presence was requested in the private office of the leading Alderman duo.
I was stuck on one thought. My mind became trapped within itself, unable to move past the panic.
It was the private office.
No one was ever invited to step foot in there. As far
as I had heard, no one other than Nate ever had. So naturally it became a subject of speculation, one of the few things people here thought to question. A slew of rumours about it flew throughout the compound, and I'd heard many since my arrival.
I'd heard it was a torture chamber.
I'd heard it was a code term. That if you were summoned it meant that they were going to lead you off and have you killed.
I'd heard that the room didn't even exist.
That it was ginormous and filled with riches that could pay for every OTF member to live in the lap of luxury, to eat from buffets everyday until they died, but were hoarded away.
Not one thing said about the room was ultimately good.
So when I was brought to a room that looked like a smaller version of their public office, I was almost disappointed.
The drab grey walls lacked any decoration. An almost empty bookshelf was wedged into the corner, a few manila folders scattered along one of the shelves. The books were well worn, yet there was a hint of dust lingering over the whole thing. Their desk wasn't even that impressive. It was just barely large enough for both of them to sit on the same side. They were practically rubbing their arms against each other. There was no computer, unlike their other office.
This room was empty.
It was worrying to see them in a room so stark.
My nerves made it difficult to feel much of anything but caution as I stepped through the open door, hearing a distinct click as it shut behind me.
The entire Alderman clan was waiting for me. Trisha and John were sitting together at their desk. Nate sat off to the side, having taken one of the chairs that clearly belonged the side closest to me, leaving one lonely seat. The metallic finish on the legs glinted under the harsh artificial lights.
The truth behind the private office?
It was an interrogation room.
I felt foggy with distrust. Judging by the way they seemed to dole out justice, it was probably the only interrogation chamber that didn't rely on torture to get information out of people. At least I hoped that was the case. It was becoming apparent that these people saw intimidation and violence as the only way to solve conflict.
I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I sat in the centre of the room. The feeling of three unwavering sets of eyes burrowing into my downcast skull caused an uneasy feeling to flourish in my stomach. I wondered, briefly, what they would do if I vomited in here.
It was silent for a few moments. With only them watching me. Me watching the floor.
I was afraid to find out what I was sitting there for. Whatever it was, I was sure it wouldn't be anything good.
The tension that had slowly built in the silence like a brick wall was knocked down by John.
"Sensory overload is not something we can afford to deal with." Following the break he looked to his wife, then his son.
"We have been too free with you," he began. "You've had too much leeway. This girl could have been killed due to your thoughtlessness."
"Her name is Rosa," came Nate's rough reply. "Not that you care. You don't—"
"Stop behaving like a child! I hope you realise that you put everyone in danger with this little stunt of yours. Not just her." It was quiet for a long second. Then John sighed.
"You have responsibilities son. You can't afford to make mistakes like this. If you want to follow the path we've laid out for you, you're going to have to work for it. You need to prove that you're worthy of leading these people. And doing this wasn't a good start."
"That criminal is awake now. He's waiting for you," Trisha cut in, stopping this conversation before an argument began.
It was also a nice way to ask Nate to leave. To get out so they could talk to me in private. He gave a stern nod before striding off, leaving me with his parents. Alone.
I knew we weren't on the best terms at this point, but I had to believe that Nate wouldn't let his parents do anything too bad to me.
With him gone my last line of defence had walked out the door.
"Rosa, I think you and I both know that we can't let you go back out there again." I was startled slightly by the gentle tone of Trisha's voice.
Despite how much I wanted to argue I knew that she was right. I didn't even want to entertain thoughts of going back into that cloud of death and murder.
But they couldn't expect me to believe that was the only reason they wanted to talk to me. They wouldn't take me off-guard with their punishment.
"You killed so many of them," my voice sounded empty to my own ears. I couldn't argue that I wasn't a little afraid sitting there.
"We didn't kill anyone Rosa."
"Just because the blood doesn't stain your hands doesn't mean that I can't see it all over you." I took a deep, steadying breath.
"You give the orders. You send out the squads. You tell them to do this. It's more your fault than anyone else's. They wouldn't do any of it if it weren't for the crap you shove down their throats from the moment they get here."
John's jaw was clenched tightly and Trisha set a calming hand on his arm. For some reason the unconscious display of affection felt like a jab to the throat.
My mum didn't get to have this.
These two monsters got to be together, to make each other happy. My mum didn't have anyone to help her when she was falling to pieces. She had nothing but three kids who needed someone to watch out for them in a world of murder.
Rae was stuck in that same cruel world with no one. Three souls were ripped from his life before he knew how to fend for himself. A lesson of the terror and pain people felt every day in Palla.
No one here would have to go home to an empty house.
I couldn't help but think about Colton. He'd had a girlfriend. Mia. I knew her. She'd been newly pregnant when I'd left the city with Gabby.
Now she was going to have to raise her baby in a place where everything and everyone was lethal. And that baby was never going to know its father. It would never even know what he looked like. All because the two people sitting in front of me had sent an army of soldiers out to kill him.
I tried not to let this sudden burst of bitterness and anger show on my face. These were the same people who had saved my sister and kept us alive. That had to count for something, had to mean something. Didn't it?
"We understand that you're still adapting to our way of living. You've been through a lot and going back there must not have been easy," my eyes locked onto Trisha as she spoke.
I tried to figure out why she was being so compassionate.
Tried to stop the tears from slipping over the rims of my eyelids. Even when they made my vision blur.
"No one wants to see the people they're trying to protect act so violently."
"They were being attacked. Isn't that cause enough for anyone to become a little violent," a flicker of irritation slid into my words.
"They sought us out. They led an attack. They were out for murder. They wanted to see blood. We wanted to save them. To take as many of them from that place as possible."
No.
They were twisting it.
Tying everything into an ugly little bow that put them in the right.
"We went there as an armed force intent on violently kidnapping as many of them as we could. They were trying to defend themselves. We broke into government buildings to cause chaos. And your soldiers sure seemed to find a lot of excuses to kill in that battle. Those people didn't have to die. You aren't helping anyone by shooting them in the head!"
"Rosa, we have to predict that your people are going to be violent. It's in their nature."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
They looked at each other.
A tense silence stretched out for a few seconds.
Something bad had to be coming.
Something very, very, very bad.
"Rosa… This will come as a bit of a shock to you. And believe me when I say we don't expect you the be okay with learning this information. It's not someth
ing we normally tell your people unless we hope to introduce them into the rest of the world." So no one knew then. At least, not Pallans. They never intended for any of us to be free. I tried not to take it too personally. It was something I had already figured out. But this secret information was a new factor. What could they possibly say that would change my opinion on this monstrosity?
"What?" The word fell from my lips before I had the time to prepare myself for the impact of the answer.
"This war between your people and the Xiets was started by Pallan forces."
FIFTEEN
My mind was still reeling. Filled up and leaking information that went against everything I'd ever thought was true.
I had always thought we were the victims.
That we were the only ones getting hurt like this.
Now I had pages and pages of evidence proving otherwise clasped in my sweaty palms. My fingers were clenched so hard that the paper had crumpled in my grip.
My ancestors had started this.
Sixty eight years ago Pallara turned on the people of Tikorania. Decided that their way of life was somehow wrong. That their beliefs and lifestyles were too different from our own.
That they were inhumane.
Evil.
Barbaric.
Wrong.
They'd thought it reason enough to force them to change.
To start a war.
They were under the impression that, if they could take control of the nation so close to ours, if they could absorb them, make them a part of our own country, they'd be able to control the people there. Change the way they viewed the world. Shift Tikoranian beliefs to match our own. And for a while we were winning.
We were systematically taking over Tikoranian land and enforcing our own way of life.
But of course that didn't last.
Five years after the conflict began the rest of the world decided that it had been too long. They'd had enough. They rushed in to defend the broken country against my own. Fought us. Pushed us back, and weakened our forces to the point where Tikorania's new military force, known as the Xiets, easily overpowered us.
And this time they won.
So the rest of the world backed out and Pallara became a part of Tikorania. They alienated us from the rest of the world. Under the guise of their culture, they eliminated all communications between us and the outside world. Internet, radio frequencies, international television. They were willing to sacrifice their own access to keep us away from suspicion.
Bright Cold Day Page 13