I couldn't say I felt very confident about our plan.
I wasn't worried on behalf of myself. Not at all. But I didn't like the sound of the weapons Nathaniel seemed to be requesting. Guns, smoke bombs, knives. He claimed it was all necessary to effectively pull off this disguised rescue mission. It seemed more like he was planning to hurt people.
My people.
But he'd done this numerous times before. I was going to have to trust him.
I could do that.
He hadn't let me down yet. He must have known what he was doing.
From the parts of the plan that I'd understood, what we would be doing seemed very straightforward. The force we would be contending with wasn't exactly the biggest, or the strongest. We would almost triple the amount of soldiers Palla would be able to send out to fight us.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that at all.
At least the fighting wouldn't last too long. They would be out numbered and out gunned.
Thoughts floated around my head in a never-ending whirlwind. I didn't like the idea of hurting my people. Or the people here, who I had come to know and care about in a way I hadn't expected. Even if I didn't particularly like them that much. Everyone here had become a part of my life now. There was a name to every face in this room, even if I couldn't always remember what it was.
Every casualty would be someone I didn't want to lose.
I had begun to understand why Nathaniel was so convinced I wouldn't be able to handle it. But it was necessary. Wasn't it?
I could handle whatever it took to help my people.
I looked over at Gabby only to see that her eyes already rested on my face. She was frowning slightly, and the corners of her lips dipped in concern. I didn't want her to worry about me.
I feigned intrigue throughout the rest of the meeting and pushed all disagreeing thoughts to the back of my mind. Instead I wondered what the rest of the soldiers thought about the plan. The heavy violence that coloured the whole thing didn't seem to pose an issue to any of them. Or if it did they didn't feel strongly enough to voice concern.
This compound seemed more and more like a sheep farm as the days went by. Everyone followed each other in everything they did. No questions asked. They were given an order, an instruction, a suggestion, and they did it. The only real individual thought came from Nathaniel and his family. Isabel wasn't so bad. Though come to think of it neither were any of the others rescued from Palla.
I didn't spend much time with the other evacuees from my home city. They were all a lot older than me, and our timetables never seemed to match up. It had made me feel weird to be around them anyway. Many of them had been presumed dead for years. It was like walking into a room full of ghosts.
But we were different from the rest of the compound. Perhaps we were too stubborn or distrustful, after everything we'd been through, to so quickly adapt to an unquestioned group mindset. Those who had always lived here or came from the outside world didn't seem to have the same problem.
They wanted what they were told to want.
I couldn't help but notice the lack of Pallan natives sitting in the room with me. I was almost one hundred percent sure that Gabby and I were the only ones.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that either.
These people had no restraint on hurting my friends, my family. They didn't mean anything to them. Not like they did to me.
"Rosa, you good?' I nodded, vaguely aware that the others were beginning to rise from their seats. They were leaving.
"I'll see you at dinner then, okay? I've got to get started on gathering all this crap from the armoury."
"Yeah, see you later," I muttered back. Gabby gave me a quick hug, snapping me from my contemplative state, before she disappeared from the room.
I walked over to where Nate stood at the front of the room. My senses spiked, hyper aware that his parents mirrored my actions.
"Nathaniel, we would like to talk to you for a moment please," the obviously forced polite tone coming from Nate’s father's mouth bugged me. No one talked to their kids like that. At least no one who actually liked their kids.
Nate looked past me to where they were standing. Something in their expressions made his brows twitch closer together.
"In our private office," Trisha finished, causing Nate to sigh.
"Okay. I'll be right there." With one last withering look towards me, they reluctantly left the room, leaving Nate and I alone. I could hear the crowds of footsteps clanging along the flooring outside.
"Do you still want to do this? There's no room for mistakes out there. I don't even know if I'll be able to get you out without my parents noticing." I had to bite back my response. I knew they didn't care what happened to me. If anything they wanted me out of the picture, out of their son's life. They wouldn't notice my absence because they wouldn't care.
"I know how to fire a gun, and how to hit someone with a bat. That's more than I can say for half of the people in your training rooms right now." Back home it had been seen as core learning to be able to defend yourself. No one wanted to be defenceless. And with Dad working in the police force we'd even had access to a gun for some of our training. At least for a while. Unfortunately we'd lost access to the thing following his death. But Liam and Gabby had continued to teach me the best they could, sometimes with the help of one of Dad's old work friends.
But he'd never let me use his gun and I hadn't held one in my own hands for years. But that wasn't something Nate needed to know.
"I could shoot a gun before I knew my times tables."
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better. I still don't like this."
"It'll be fine. I know these people. I know how they fight."
"That might be your biggest weakness. It's harder to hurt people who mean something to you."
I couldn't help but wonder why we would have to hurt anyone at all.
I knew the plan. Trick them into thinking we were a group of Xiets so we could get in without exposing the existence of OTF. Capture as many people as we could. Get them here. And voilà. We've rescued people.
Though I couldn't stop thinking about how scared they'd be.
Because of us.
For all they knew they were on their way to being tortured. And their friends and family, they would never know the truth of what happened. We'd only be fuelling the hate.
Nathaniel's plan seemed flawed in too many ways.
I didn't understand why there had to be so much bloodshed. Yes, the Xiets were bloodthirsty and dangerous. They'd stop at nothing to to cause harm and keep us terrified.
But we were not Xiets.
Even if we were pretending to be, did that really mean we had to sink to their level? I was suddenly reminded of an old saying I'd come across in one of our books back home. It was something about having to become your enemy to ever truely know them.
I couldn't help but think that it was true in more ways than one. Pretending to be your enemy gave you insight to how they functioned. But it also made you more of an enemy to yourself.
THIRTEEN
"Alright, has everyone got their weapons at the ready?" Nathaniel asked, turning around to look over the rest of us crowded behind him. Waiting for direction.
We'd spent the morning travelling. By plane. Flying, it turned out, was not as much fun as I'd imagined. The aircraft had been small and low flying, and rattled so intensely I'd thought it was going to crack open and drop me to the hard ground below. And one of the newer soldiers became physically ill with the sharp movements.
I decided that I preferred to feel the ground underneath me as I made my way through the world. Even if it did take longer. Man was not made to fly.
We'd taken three planes, filled to the brim with people, and a fourth with only the pilot and a couple of soldiers who hadn't managed to squeeze into the others. It was meant to be the transport for the refugees we would save. That's what I was told at least.
Once we'd landed Nathaniel had se
nt one plane load of people straight to the prison, decked out in official Xiet military uniforms, to take in any of the prisoners for questioning.
Thankfully, I'd also heard him instruct his soldiers not to hurt anyone unnecessarily.
I held tightly to the hope that they might find my brother.
That he was okay.
That he was alive.
We were currently hid in the outskirts of the residential buildings that people still lived in. It hadn't been hard to sneak through the layers of unoccupied buildings spiralling out from the city centre. The lack of security was concerning. There had been no defence in place to prevent an attack like this from happening. Palla just didn't have enough military to defend the city borders.
Even though we'd reached the inhabited sector it was oddly quiet.
Supposedly there'd been an increase in Xiet attacks in the time Gabby and I had been gone. But I couldn't accept that as reason enough for the streets to be so empty. Palla had been surrounded by danger and death for far too long for anything to have scared people away now. I would have anticipated that more would be out here screaming out in defiance rather than shutting themselves away in fear.
But for the moment I was glad.
Despite knowing that this was a rescue attempt only disguised as an attack, I didn't want children anywhere near the fight. It was dangerous enough to begin with, and I didn't want them caught in the middle of it if things turned sour.
I had to hope that most people were sticking to the town centre. That they took comfort in the minimal safety that it had always provided. Xiets were notorious for bombing around the edges of Palla at irregular intervals. They focused their attacks towards the outskirts of town. The centre was the safest place when it came to outside attacks. They had always wanted to keep us trapped in a circle of danger and fear.
I had to hope that was the cause of the unnerving stillness.
Being back here I was surprised by how much I felt like an outsider. I didn't look around myself and see home anymore. No matter how I'd thought of this place in my head.
It was a place where I used to live in fear.
But now I was free.
And I wanted other people to experience that. I wanted other people to be freed, and if this was the way I had to do it, then so be it.
"Okay, the Pallan defence force got word of our arrival about half an hour ago. The recent attacks on the city have people urging the government for retaliation.The won't miss this opportunity. They should be here before much longer," Nate was cut off by the crackle of static from the handheld radio attached to his belt. He turned away from us to mutter hastily into the device before listening to the response. The volume was kept too low for any of us to hear.
I felt very out of place. And sick to my stomach to be wearing the Xiet uniform they'd produced out of nowhere earlier in the day. It felt like I was violating my own soul to be wearing it.
I wanted to burn it.
Send it up in flames and watch it crumple.
"Part one of our mission was a success. We gathered eight prisoners. And Squad 2 tells me to be prepared for an onslaught. They've sent their best defenders this time, and some civilians have decided to join their ranks last minute. Remember guys, minimal casualties. But they will not hesitate to murder you. Protect yourself before taking anything else into account."
I swallowed the hard lump that began to form in my throat. Pushed it down into my stomach where it blossomed into a field of butterflies.
Anxiety was not going to help me now.
I needed to keep my head — now more than ever. The gun in my hand felt heavy. The knife at my hip gleamed in the sunlight. It was so sharp I was afraid I would stab myself or slice my leg open by accident. I pushed that thought out of my mind as well.
No time for panic.
I could do that later.
After.
For now I had to put all of my energy into remembering the brief explanation of the weapons Gabby had given me the night before.
How this type of gun worked.
How to prepare myself for the jerk of the recoil.
How to quickly draw my knife from the complex sheath attached to my belt.
To expect momentary hearing loss after a gun went off too close to me.
Knowing something, anything really, about the instruments of death attached to my person had made me feel slightly less panicked about having them.
After a few moments of silence, where each second stretched my focus to the point where I thought it might snap, we could finally hear them coming.
That was the first thing I noticed.
We could hear them well before we could see them. Their footsteps were loud enough, but they were still only just decipherable over the deafening roar of their voices.
They weren't going for a stealth attack, that was for sure.
My ears were filled with their curses and swearing. Screams directed towards us but meant for the real enemy. I had thought I'd seen these people at their worst when they'd raided my house.
That was nothing compared to what I was hearing now.
They were fantasising, screaming out threats. How they would literally rip us to pieces. Peel the skin from our battered bodies. Leave us strung up somewhere to slowly starve to death.
It felt like I was trapped in a nightmare.
The darkness that filled the people I'd wanted to protect was terrifying.
I had to constantly remind myself that, when they looked at us, all they could see was a group of Xiets. They thought that they were heading towards people who belonged to the force that had kept them caged their whole lives.
That blew them up.
Fed on their terror.
They thought we were going to do worse to them.
It was why I'd left in the first place, this misdirected fear.
It was why Liam was imprisoned, or maybe even dead.
I could only hope they hadn't tortured him as badly as they seemed to want to hurt us.
As they got closer the sound of my own blood pumping filled my ears, blocked out the sounds of their hate. I shoved the earplugs I'd been given into place. I didn't want to hear anymore.
From our position, tucked around the corner of an abandoned old building, I could only just see them. I had no real idea what I should expect when we sprung out at them.
Palla was not known for winning, but that didn't mean we didn't fight hard.
The adrenaline pumping through my body was trying to force me into movement.
All of my attention was focused on the back of the head in front of me. Before I had time to calm my breathing he lurched forward, following some yelled instruction from Nate that didn't make it through my earplugs.
I followed behind at a staggered pace, as though I was being dragged out by a piece of string.
We were out in the open.
I suddenly felt like I was a giant picking on some kind of wild cat. It had claws and would fight. I would get scratches, even scars, but it couldn't beat us.
The roughly scrambled together group of fighters I faced easily had less than half the amount of people we did. And we had fully trained and equipped soldiers among us.
Their weapons — for the few that had been lucky enough to carry them — were old. Some even looked brushed with the reddish tint of rust. But they mostly held everyday items, scrounged up from their homes. Baseball bats. Hammers. Some held metal garden rakes. Others welded a variety of kitchen knives.
Many held nothing.
The odd person carried a gun, though I wasn't sure if they had many bullets. It didn't seem like something there'd be an abundance of in Palla. Tikorania wasn't stupid enough to provide my people with weapons.
It provided an easy marker for who was a soldier of Palla, and who had joined the fight at random.
They did appear threatening, in all their rage.
But they were nothing compared to the power of our arsenal.
It felt surreal to
be standing on the opposite side of the people I'd grown up surrounded by.
Aiming a gun at them.
Preparing to burst into full attack.
To try and keep tabs on my nerves I had to focus on the end result.
Would some of each side die here? Yes. Most definitely.
But in the end we'd save more lives than we would lose.
Everyone deserved a chance to live a normal life. And if I had to kill someone to rescue so many others… It was a sacrifice I was going to have to make.
No one should have been living in this horrible place. With no food and hardly any water.
I wanted to get them out.
To get them all out.
And if I couldn't get them all, I had to be willing to sacrifice a few to save as many as possible.
I didn't have the time to think about whether or not that made me a horrible person.
Before I could fully get my head together I heard the first gunshot. The surprise of it made me flinch away from the noise.
I heard screaming and groaning, and almost skidded to a halt when I saw the murders taking place around me.
I looked away from the carnage to see Colton standing directly across from me.
A year older than Gabby, Colton had been in a committed relationship with her best friend Mia for the past four years.
I had just enough time to see a flicker of something in his eyes as he noticed it was me before a bullet hit him in the side of the head.
His body dropped to the ground as blood leaked out from his temple.
I screamed in shock and jumped back.
Then someone from behind me threw a smoke grenade out into the space separating us from them.
Bright Cold Day Page 12