I should have taken Christian up on his offer to show me how to do it, I thought, laughing to myself.
At first I put too much oil on the plug, which kept slipping out of my hands. I decided to start over. I washed the Tulip again and made sure to apply the olive oil only to the top part of the plug. Then I lifted my right leg onto the toilet seat and used my fingers to oil my anus and spread my hole open. The butt plug slipped in, hurting slightly as I pushed it over the widest rim. I realized I needed to turn the handle to make it line up correctly. As I washed my hands again, I was newly aware of my body. The Tulip wasn’t uncomfortable—just undeniably present. I felt naughty and excited.
I dressed in a form-fitting batik blouse that flared at the sleeves and waist. It buttoned down the front with the first button situated a bit lower than I was used to, leaving me positively abashed. The shirt extended over a flowing purple skirt that skimmed my calves, just above my ankles. Brown sandals completed the outfit. I wore my hair down; Luke wouldn’t want my hair any other way in the video. I’d never dressed in anything but my business suits for work—even on Fridays, when the dress code was more flexible. I knew the outfit in itself would attract attention.
I left for work fifteen minutes early. It felt strange to drive my car while the pressure of sitting pushed the plug deeper into my ass. My nectar started to flow and I hoped it would not show through my skirt. I planned to arrive at my office seen by as few people as possible and make the recording right away. As soon as I walked through the doors of the building, I knew my plan had failed. I rode up the elevator with two executives plus Allison and Pierce. Pierce wouldn’t stop staring.
“Nice look,” Pierce said. “Are you leaving work early?”
“Ah, no,” I said.
“I really like this outfit, Jane, where did you get it?” Allison said as she followed me out onto the marble floor.
We left Pierce standing in the elevator with the two execs as we made a beeline toward my office.
“Oh, Luke took me shopping at the mall and we were in so many different stores ….” I said.
“Well, you look great. It really suits you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair down, have I?”
“Probably not. I’m not much for dressing for work. Made an exception today.”
“So Luke is his name. Are things better?”
“Oh yes, and thank you for your advice on Monday. I did apologize and don’t plan to touch his stuff anymore without asking. You were a big help.”
“Good. How about lunch today?”
“I’m going to have to pass. I have a lot to get done and will probably eat at my desk. How about lunch on Monday?”
“Sounds great. Have a good weekend if I don’t see you in the halls.”
“You, too,” I said as she left my office.
I got up and closed the door behind her. Although tempted to lock the door, I decided against it, realizing that if anyone had to knock on the door it would be recorded on the webcam. I unpacked my laptop and placed it on my desk. Checking my in-box to see if anything needed to be addressed immediately, I quickly ascertained that all of it could wait.
Methodically I went through the next steps. I placed a tissue on my chair and lifted the backside of my skirt. I settled myself behind the desk and turned on the computer. It was at that point that I literally prayed.
I looked toward the sky and spoke anxiously but quietly. “Dear goddess of orgasmic phenomena, may I reach my peak faster than I ever have before, amen.” As the laptop booted up, I laughed at my silly antics.
It seemed like the computer took forever. I finally loaded the webcam. I had just lifted my skirt up onto my lap when the first interruption occurred. The sound of the doorknob turning caused my adrenaline to go into overdrive, making me feel like I could faint. I must have looked completely crazed but managed to keep my composure as Pierce burst in without knocking.
“So is this outfit for the famous Luke?” He walked right in front of my desk as I hurriedly pushed my skirt down. I could feel the veins in my neck throbbing.
“Get out of my office,” I said, pointing at the door. “And knock next time you want to come in, Pierce.”
“I brought this from Spence on fourteen and I was going to say you look nice, but ….” He dropped a manila envelope on the desk and left the office with the door wide open.
“Shit,” I said. I got up and closed the door again.
I sat back down and reluctantly opened the envelope. I needed to call the temp agency and get things settled for Spence. After Pierce’s interruption, the day took off and I barely had time to breathe. I decided lunchtime would be the answer to my prayers.
Carefully setting up my laptop again, I situated myself behind the desk. I lifted my hem and wet my clit with my saliva. I ran my other hand up under my shirt and began to pinch my nipples over my bra. “Oh Fuck!” I said. I had forgotten to hit record. I straightened my shirt and began again. I made sure the cam was running and lifted my skirt once again. Looking straight into the computer, I could see on the screen what I recorded. I continued to rub and flick my clit and massage my breast. I found when I pushed my ass down into the seat it increased the sensations coursing through me. Getting closer and closer to cumming, my eyes automatically closed. I envisioned Luke under my desk sucking the juices off my wet lips. I grew closer and closer to the tip-off of a beautiful orgasm when a knock on the door startled me.
“Fuck, shit,” I muttered to myself. Without thinking, I shoved my skirt down. What now? “Come in,” I yelled. I almost laughed. It seemed so ludicrous.
“Sorry to bother you,” said Brian as he walked into my office. “I was wondering if you might join me for lunch today.”
“Oh … um ….” I said, stalling. Why the hell was my boss asking me to lunch? I knew wearing these clothes had been a huge misstep. “Could we do it another time? I have some things I’d like to get done today so they’re off my plate for Monday,” I said, offering the first excuse that came to mind.
“Sure, sometime next week, then?”
“Sounds good,” I said, forcing myself to smile. “Have a good weekend,” I said to his back as he left my office, thankfully shutting the door behind him.
The moment he was gone and I turned back to the computer, realizing I had recorded the whole conversation with Brian. I hit the pause button and covered my face with my hands.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I groaned. I had screwed it up. I had to start over. I would just delete what I had done and start fresh. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hit record again, lifted my skirt and squared myself to the camera. I managed to make myself cum but the intensity was nowhere near what it would have been without the interruption. I felt it would fall short of Luke’s expectations. I had to do something. That’s when the despicable idea of talking Pierce into a hand job reared its ugly head. I shuddered at the thought but knew if I didn’t do something I’d end up getting the spatula. I also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it would be the end of our relationship. I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Before I could change my mind, I walked like a prisoner to the gallows out into the hall and onto the elevator. My body, my sick crazy body, continued its treachery as the friction of my stride and what I planned to do had me struggling to control my breathing. Alone in the elevator, I rode up to the 14th floor. I continued the walk of shame that inflamed my body. My nipples pressed against the material of my bra and I could feel my arousal between my legs. I knew if I went through with this, I was taking the chance of putting my job at risk. I also imagined a wildly difficult time trying to deal civilly with Pierce again.
I decided not to worry about it at that moment. I walked into his office without knocking, strode right up to the edge of his desk and leaned forward onto my hands. He sat behind his desk eating his lunch. When he looked up at me, he knew. It must have been written all over my face. Sick desire, none of which had to do with him. My crazy body had taken over this
game.
“What?” he said. He looked confused and a bit scared.
I turned around and locked his door.
“Do you have a condom,” I said, over my shoulder with my back to him.
“Yes, but ….”
“Get it,” I said, turning around and walking deliberately toward him.
“Okay,” he said, standing. He straightened his tan slacks as he nervously fumbled with his wallet. He looked up at me questioningly as he pulled out the condom and showed it to me. I knew in that moment he was used to being turned down. I could imagine him in high school with his pocket protector and his hair slicked back.
“Pierce, are you listening to me?” I asked because of the glazed look in his eyes.
“Yes,” he said, obedient as a little boy. He sat back down in his chair.
I stood facing him with my hands on my hips. “Do not touch me, do you understand? And Pierce, this never happened and will never happen again. Do not come by my office unless it’s work related. Do you understand?”
“Not really, but whatever you say, Jane. Eh, what is about to happen?” he asked in a whisper.
“I’m serious, Pierce, this never ever happened.”
“Okay, sure. No matter what happens, it never really happened. I get it and Jane, I can live with that,” he said.
I knew he would say whatever he thought I needed to hear if only I would touch him. I put my hand out, and he handed me the condom. I ambled around the desk and turned his chair so that it faced me and away from the front of the desk. At that moment, I felt as if I had split in two. Rational Jane remained tied and bound inside my head. The other half of me—my body—took control.
I knelt down in front of Pierce, unceremoniously unzipping his tan pants. Pulling his already hard shaft out, I immediately unrolled the condom onto his penis. I tried to think of his cock as a separate entity, not attached to an owner. His rigid phallus jerked at my first touch and he moaned. I knew it wouldn’t take long. I used both hands to stroke up and down on his shaft. In no more than twenty strokes he rewarded me with a large load of cum in the condom. Carefully removing it, I tied the top end into a knot. I didn’t look at him or say another word. I took the condom and did my best to hide it in my hand. Then I unlocked the door and closed it behind me. Leaning back against the door to gather myself, I became aware of the multitude of office sounds and voices.
As I walked down the hallway, for the first time in my life I had no idea who I was anymore. My body flamed with molten desire, craving to be fucked and whipped hard. My fractured mind pulled farther away from my old self.
I took the stairs back to my floor and locked myself in my office. Placing the condom in my purse I sat down at my desk; then I lowered my head onto my arms and cried. I cried for the girl I used to be and for the woman I had begun to become. I cried because I knew the path I had chosen would forever change me. I cried because I no longer knew what tomorrow would bring and how long I’d survive after that.
As my confusion and anger grew I opened the laptop and hit play on the webcam, angling it so he would see only my pussy. I harshly masturbated my clit until I came, screaming out, not caring who could hear me. I fought to catch my breath and get control of myself, slamming the laptop shut as the tears flowed harder down my cheeks.
In a panic, I paced my office until I got myself together. Then I wiped my face and chanced a walk down the hall to the bathroom. I made it there without crossing paths with anyone, sat down in the stall and peed. I cleansed myself of all my wetness and even considered taking out the plug. Although he hadn’t ordered me to wear it all day, I decided not to chance it.
Just the effort of walking back to my office had my juices flowing again. I had four more hours to go and couldn’t imagine how I’d make it through. I decided minimal movement would be best. I took my time taking care of my much neglected filing at my desk. Blessedly no one came by my office for the rest of the day.
By the time I made it back to the apartment, even my clothes seemed possessed. I felt strange and sordid, sullied in some way. I anxiously turned the shower to hot with the intention of washing some of the filth away. I removed the tulip, aware of the chaffing around my ass. Stepping into the shower, I allowed the water to cover my head and block out everything but my own thoughts.
I never made the call to Parker about going to the movies. Instead, I climbed into bed and checked my email. I realized I needed to email Luke the videos I had made. I didn’t know what to write to him. I had expected an email back but felt extremely disappointed when I didn’t receive so much as a short note.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Today
Attachment: Jane4u.avi & Jane2.avi
Luke,
I didn’t complete Option #3, as an interruption threw me off. First video explains it all. I completed Option #2 to avoid #1. The second video shows my state after #2.
No email for me? I’m turning my life inside out for you and you can’t scrape a bit of time to answer my email. That must be saying something. As I’m sure you can tell I’m not in a good space. I’m already in bed and don’t plan to get out until I have to get ready for what normal people would call a lunch with Mother tomorrow. For me it’s more like penance and self punishment.
Anyway, I have nothing more to say.
—Jane
I knew I would feel better if I went for a run, but instead I just lay there waiting for oblivion to take over.
The ring tone on my cellphone sounded. I snapped it up off the nightstand and opened it.
“Jane?” Luke said.
“Yes, it’s me,” I said, sitting up in bed, excitement erupting in me. “You called!” I remembered that I sounded like a little girl whose father had come home from a long trip.
“Of course I called after seeing the second video. Oh babe, are you all right? I never thought you would choose option two but I’m so damn proud of you. You continue to amaze me, Jane.”
“I don’t feel the least bit amazing,” I said, lying there staring at the ceiling, fantasizing about his smile and feeling the happiness that came with hearing his voice.
“Oh, but you will when I get home. Spatula is off the list but you still owe me.”
“What? What the hell are you talking about? I have a condom full of sperm for you!”
“I’m sensing a lot of attitude and here I was hoping to console you,” he said. His voice sounded tiny on the cell, not the way it would sound when he was in the same room with me.
“Console me? You sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“I was just letting you know that the second orgasm you gave yourself was taking matters into your own hands and, as you must realize already, your body is mine, Jane. All of it, all the time. So you owe me for your not-so-little release.”
“Well, then, I owe you twice,” I said, scooting back down and rolling on my side. Sarcasm never achieves what I hope it will but is almost impossible for me to resist.
“And why is that? Jane?” he asked.
“I masturbated before work yesterday at the idea of what I would do today.”
“Jane,” he said, this time with annoyance in his voice. “Jane, rule number one states: Your body is mine. You no longer have control over your own pleasure. I will use your body as I see fit for your pleasure and mine.”
“Oh,” I said, sticking a finger in my mouth as if I didn’t know that already.
“Yes, Jane. So now you owe me twice when I get home. I will take into consideration all the honesty you have shown me while I’ve been away. You could’ve started the video over but you didn’t. That means a lot to me and hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
“I miss you, Luke.”
“Oh babe, I miss you, too. You wouldn’t believe how much. I’ll show you when I get home. My flight gets in at nine a.m. and that should put me at our place by ten. Wait for me in bed, love.”
“Okay, I will. I can’
t wait.”
“One more thing. I don’t want you talking to other men. I don’t like you running ‘into’ Scott.”
“Scott’s nobody to me, Luke.”
“Regardless, please avoid him if you see him again.”
“If that’s what you want. Okay.”
“I have to go now but I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“I love you, Luke,” I said.
“I love you too, babe. Sweet dreams. Oh, and have a good lunch with your mother tomorrow. Have to go.”
“Bye.”
His phone call changed everything for me. Before his call I’d felt so depressed and ashamed and downright depraved, but after hearing his voice my perspective shifted. He loved me and that made all the difference. I got out of bed, fixed myself dinner and watched a movie on TV. By the time my head hit the pillow again the anxiety and fear for my sanity was gone. I felt apprehensive regarding lunch with my mother but I figured that if I could jerk off Pierce and survive it, I could handle anything she threw at me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
For lunch with my mother I wore a new outfit—beige shorts and a multi-hued green shirt. I looked in the mirror before heading out and smiled. Although dreading the time I would spend with her, I felt more powerful than I had in a long time.
I already knew what my mother would wear. A wool skirt hemmed right above the knees—probably brown, a colorful long-sleeved blouse that Jackson Pollack would be proud of and low beige heels. She wouldn’t take the weather into consideration. I never understood how my mother’s genes combined with my father’s resulted in me. My mother was short and stocky with legs that ended in cankles. She had her hair done once a week just like her mother and kept it sprayed in place. I wore little or no makeup; she wouldn’t leave the house without her “face.” I never quite understood why my mother seemed more like my friends’ grandparents than their parents.
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