Girl Z: My Life As A Teenage Zombie

by Verstraete, CA

  I glanced again in the mirror and grimaced as she slapped my arm. “Oww, what…wait, do that again.”

  She did.

  “Wow.” I glanced at the mirror and then at her again. “Did you see what happened?”

  “Yeah, when I hit you, your eye jumped back in place.”

  Not knowing what else to do, I blinked and gave her my best movie star impersonation. “Guess you’re my appointed seeing-eye person. If you see my eye staring off to the side, give me a shove. Hopefully, this won’t happen a lot or I’ll be wearing dark glasses all the time.”

  “Except in school,” Carm corrected. “Be hard to get away with it.”

  “Hmm, write that down. ‘Ask doc for prescription.’ Maybe I’ll wear tinted glasses and say my eyes are sensitive to light. Anyone questions me, I’ll pull out the prescription. Think it’ll work?”

  Carm shrugged. “Maybe things will be just as messed up there. School might not even open, or half the people will be missing or, you know.”

  “Yeah, they’ll be like me. But if Principal Thomas didn’t get bit or something he’ll still want everyone in class. I bet he’s already working on some new Z curriculum. He’ll want to be the first to do it and get his name out there as this innovative principal. You know how he is.”

  “Sounds like him. How’re you going to explain what happened to the rest of our friends?’

  I snorted, or at least made a weird sound. “If school starts I’ll leave it to you to tell everyone what happened. I bet the word’s spread already. Tia can call the school office so my teachers know.”

  The situation was almost more than I could handle. I studied the floor and tried to stay calm.

  Carm gave my shoulder a squeeze. “You’ll be able to do it, you’ll see.”

  “I hope so. I really don’t have much choice, do I? You know, I don’t think we’ll be back for long.”

  “How come?”

  I bit my lip while I thought on it. “If we don’t hear from your mom or mine in a few days, we should go find them. We need to look out for each other. And I don’t want Tia to be in any danger. Because of me. You know?”

  “I know, but go where?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ll talk to mom’s friend in Lake Geneva. When I get out of here, we’ll have to go get the stuff your brother left.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  “Why not? Of course we do.”

  She leaned closer, her long black hair draped across her arm, and lowered her voice.

  “I cleaned everything up before Tia came back and the ambulance took you. I put all Spence’s notes, the medicine, and all the other stuff in his backpack and brought it home. It’s in my closet.”

  I leaned back and stared at her, a big cheesy grin on my face. “You did? Hey, good going, cuz. Saves us some time. I figured some stuff out while I was half asleep. I think maybe we should share the formula, you know? Take it to the police. Maybe they can use it.”

  Carm stopped and gazed at me, confused, then answered, her voice low. “Maybe, but we don’t even know that it really works. Spence wasn’t, you know, a full Z, like them. But you think anyone will really listen to us with everything going on? You think they’ll listen to you?”

  I fell silent. “I guess you’re right. Who’ll believe us, right? Never mind. You still have your paintball guns at home?”

  Her nod made me pump my fist and yell. “Yes! Good, I had an idea. I think we were doing it all wrong before.”

  “You remember what we were doing?” Carm asked, surprised at the memory. “We started right before—”

  “I know, right before I passed out. Good thing I did, too, since now we know I can’t touch the stuff.”

  Carm got to her feet and tapped a long pink fingernail nervously on the back of her chair. She squinted her dark chocolate-brown eyes and stared at me, her face uneasy. “Bec, I don’t think you should go near any of it.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”

  “I’m serious.”

  I didn’t want her to think I was blowing her off, but I thought the idea worth trying. “It’s okay, honest. I figured it out. I have some syringes at home from the cat’s shots. We’ll fill them with the stuff and shoot it into paintballs. All you need is a little. Then it’s simple. We seal them with a drop of glue.” I gave a wicked little laugh. “Heh-heh. The paint’s a bonus.”

  “I thought you hated guns.”

  “You know I do, but this is paintball. And if it’s me or them, those creeps are goin’ down and I’m having some fun doing it.” I gave her one of my brightest smiles, such as it was.

  “So, you in or out?”

  “You know I’m in. Always.”

  “Awesome. Once I get home, bring the stuff over so we can start, or maybe I can come by your house.” Her raised eyebrow made me stop. “Oh, right. Okay, you come over after school. Then you can tell me what went on. Another idea. We’ll need Spence’s air guns. You know, in case…”

  She agreed, though her face told me the idea wasn’t going over well. Inside I quivered at the idea of shooting anyone, but I fought off the nausea. It was my turn to be cheerleader. I reached over and gave her a hug.

  “C’mon, Carm, it’ll be all right. Honest. Look what we’ve been through already. How much worse can it get?”

  As if in answer, shouts and the shriek of an alarm drew us to the door. I held my hands over my ears. “What is it? What’s going on?”

  We watched two security men run to the opposite end of the hall, guns in hand. Several nurses followed pushing carts stacked high with syringes and medicines. “Stay in your room,” one nurse ordered.

  Carm and I exchanged worried glances. Our questions went unanswered as the commotion down the hall grew louder. Ignoring Carm’s cautions and attempts to pull me back, I stepped out of the room so I could see better.

  Keeping close to the wall, I carefully headed toward the noise. The security men struggled and wrestled with someone I couldn’t see in the middle of the group. I edged closer. Somehow this affected me. I knew it.

  I ignored Carm’s tugs at my sleeve. We both gasped and jumped back as a loud roar erupted from the crowd. The group parted for a second revealing a young man a few years older than us, his skin mottled, his hair sticking out like he’d been electrocuted. He gazed in our direction, eyes wild. We stared at one another for a second before the group surged forward and pushed him back. His yells turned to whimpers and then stopped as whatever they gave him took effect.

  His limp body loaded on to a gurney and wheeled out of sight bothered me. I shuffled back in the direction of my room, my dejection growing. I didn’t even object when Nurse Teapot hurried us away.

  She shooed us into the room. “Girls, you shouldn’t be out here. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

  I stopped and grabbed her. I had to know. “He’s like me, isn’t he? What’s wrong with him?”

  She gently disengaged my hold on her arm and had me sit on the bed while she read my chart. “Now, honey, don’t worry. There’s been a problem regulating his medication. He should be fine once we get it adjusted. Sometimes we have to make some changes if it doesn’t work the first time around. Nothing to worry about. You’re doing quite well. Now, you sit and relax. Doctor will be around soon to do his final exam and then you should be able to go home.”

  Her words made me feel a little better, but it didn’t erase the sick feeling I had. Carm and I exchanged glances.

  She reached out and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry,” Carm urged, trying to make me feel better. “It won’t be long, just like she said.”

  Everyone’s saying don’t worry made me even more worried. I wasn’t sure why. I was fine, the nurse said so. I’d eaten and I’d had my pills. I’d even gotten used to the protein drinks.

  I kept my eyes on her, mesmerized. Carm’s face sparkled. Her whole body appeared soft and muted, like an impressionist painting.

  Her face disappeared in a soft haze. I reached out and put my
finger in the swirl of red and black before me.

  “Carm? Where are you? Why are you whispering?”

  The last thing I heard was her yelling for the nurse.

  Chapter Six

  My request for Carm to stop yelling came out in a whisper. Around me, voices rose in a cloud of funny sounding phrases over the whoosh-click-whir of the machines.

  A moan escaped me as the nurse brought my aunt closer to the bed. Tia! She whispered and rubbed my forehead. Her fingers fluttered like moth’s wings on my skin. My mood stayed dark, even if I could feel her expression of love a tiny bit on my sense-deadened skin. “There, there, girl,” she soothed, her voice low. “Now take it easy. That’s it. Deep breath. You had a little setback, all it is. You’ll be fine. They’ve changed your medicine. Now you can rest awhile.”

  I downed the drink she handed me (Yum, breakfast pills and liquid protein over easy, hold the bacon) and tried to relax, even though my mind raced. I’m just like him—like that guy. They’re going to knock me out and take me somewhere. I’ll never go home!

  The panic bubbled inside, but lucky for me, the medication was stronger, and soon I fell into a forgetful doze.

  The afternoon and night passed in a blur. I remembered a few things or maybe I’d dreamed them—my aunt kissing my cheek, Carm squeezing my shoulder. Nurses flit in and out of the room like dark shadows. Nurse Teapot whispered about things improving. How come I felt so tired?

  My eyes finally sprung open and stayed open. I gazed at the walls and found the clock. Most of the previous hours were a blank. I’d lost another day.

  Nurse Teapot came in, her sunny attitude putting a dent in my sour mood. “Well, good morning, then. You’re looking much better. How do you feel?”

  I sat up straighter and returned her greeting, hoping I’d be going home. “I feel okay. Better. Did I sleep all night? I remember people coming in. Was my aunt here?”

  The nurse gave a soft murmur as she studied the monitors and marked the chart. “Your family went home early. Just the staff was here. You were out like a light, which is good. Lets your body recuperate. We’ve changed your diet and eliminated the pills. You’ll need to add more protein. The dietician will explain.”

  Her admission got my attention. I thought about the man I’d seen in the hall. “What happened to the guy I saw?”

  She pursed her lips. “I shouldn’t discuss other patients.”

  Her caginess made me nervous. I jumped as the monitor bleeped.

  “Take it easy,” she ordered. “Deep breath. Much better. Your condition must remain steady if you want to go home today, understand?”

  My soft okay let her know I did.

  “Good,” she continued. “Like I told you, not everyone makes the adjustment. Their body breaks down.”

  My loud gasp made her pause. He didn’t make it! What would happen to me?

  The nurse’s sharp tap on my wrist made me wince. “Oww, why’d you do that?”

  She stared at me and then continued her writing. “I’m testing your reflexes. I wanted to see if you heard me. The young man had some health issues before he contracted the virus. That has a big impact on the outcome. You’re strong, young and healthy.”

  “Then-then I’ll really be okay?”

  “You should be fine. You have nothing to worry about. You’re doing well. Now, chin up. I don’t want to hear any more blubbering, you hear?”

  My feelings hurt a bit at her harshness, but I knew she was right. I breathed deep and let the anxiety out in a loud exhale. “Yes. Can I take a shower?”

  She checked her watch and peeked out the door. “Doctor’s in the hall. When he’s done, you can shower and get dressed. You can leave with your family if the doctor has no objections.”

  The doctor’s visit was brief. He asked a few questions and took in every answer, making me feel like a microscope slide before he gave me some cautions and a final warning that things could change at any time (I couldn’t think of that) and left.

  I jumped off the bed where I’d been seated and clapped my hands together. I did a happy dance around the room. Okay, I felt a tiny bit wobbly. A happy shuffle instead.

  “Yay, going home, going home, I’m going home!”

  Of course, it wasn’t a matter of my simply going out the door like nothing had happened. It took a little planning. After I showered and dressed, the nurses helped me apply some camouflage makeup made for burn victims. It helped temporarily even out my complexion and erase the gray, kind of like a Miss Clairol for skin.

  Even better, Nurse Teapot gave me the name of a website by a woman who’d developed a special makeup for “Girls Like Us.” Good name, though I wondered if she’d considered calling it “Ghouls Like Us” or was I the only one with the sick sense of humor? I chuckled, my mood vastly improved since I was finally leaving here.

  Home! I was going home!

  I hugged the nursing staff, especially Nurse Teapot, and told them I’d come back and let everyone know how things went. Sounds weird, I know, but I was going to miss them. Then I slipped on my hoodie, pulled it forward to shade my face, and stuck my hands in my pockets.

  Carm stayed at my side as the nurse pushed me in a wheelchair which she insisted I had to use. At the door, Carm quickly latched onto my arm and pulled me outside to the cab my aunt had waiting at the curb. The driver, an older Indian man with sun-darkened skin and a shock of unruly ink-black hair, barely glanced at me as he jerked the car into the turn lane. “Vere to?” he asked.

  Carm’s expression started me giggling. It was bad of us to laugh, we knew, but it was good to hear someone else who sounded worse than I still did at times.

  Tia gave my arm a squeeze and put on the pleased expression she usually wore after finding a great bargain at a yard sale. She gave the address and leaned back in her seat. “Sweetie, I’m so happy you’re coming home. I made you some tamales and…” Her voice faded. A sad expression came over her face as she glanced at me and patted my knee. “Oh, honey, lo siento. Forgive me, por favor. I wasn’t thinking.”

  I reached over and squeezed her hand. My aunt loved to cook. I couldn’t bear to spoil her one joy in life. “Tia, no problema, okay? Carm will eat enough for both of us. Freeze a little bit for me. I’ll try them on Sabado. You know I love your tamales.”

  The thought of my aunt’s delicious tamales stuffed with spicy chicken and covered with hot salsa and stringy, gooey, melted cheese made me feel like I could almost taste them. Saturday loomed ahead like a culinary Mecca. It was the first day I was supposed to feel hungry again and could eat lots of real protein instead of mostly the liquid kind.

  Oh, what I’d give to eat real food again!

  So far, at least for the moment, I wasn’t at all hungry. Whatever it was that had changed with my new condition had about killed my taste buds. Right now, even a stick of gum tasted like chewing on a piece of cardboard. Not worth it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want it. Would I ever taste food again?

  The whole food thing prompted a whirlwind of more questions: when I woke up on Saturday, the day I was supposed to eat as much raw protein as I wanted, would I go crazy like before?

  Would I get sick if I ate anything other than the prescribed raw fish or chicken, like a tamale? But why? The meat was still a protein, right? What difference would cooking make, I wondered?

  Would it really matter what I ate? The dietician had stressed a raw diet but…maybe I’d experiment, see what would happen…

  Carm glanced at me. “What’re you smiling about?”

  A giggle escaped. “Nothing. Everything. Food for thought.”

  I’d noticed that more of my senses, and most importantly, my sense of humor, had returned to near-normal. The exception was my eyesight. I still had trouble with my one eye. The idea of wearing glasses didn’t thrill me, either, but I might not have much choice. So many changes. I wasn’t about to dwell on it, at least for now.

  Carm apologized, her face turning a beautiful shade of red as her st
omach let out a loud gurgle. I smirked at her. It wasn’t her fault. To be honest, I was surprised my stomach didn’t growl, too. Even if I wasn’t hungry, my mind refused to get past one thing: a fresh tamale.

  My head against my aunt’s arm, I worked on calming myself.

  Relax. Breathe.

  I didn’t want my aunt to feel worse than she already did, so I tried to fixate on something else. My thoughts pinged back to the idea of noshing on Saturday.

  It had to work.

  Not being able to eat any of my favorite foods (like tamales and chocolate) would be the worst, most unfair thing of all the changes I’d experienced, besides the obvious, of course.

  My mood grew darker and harder to shake as the cab bounced down Sheridan to Main. It wasn’t hard to do since the man drove like he was on an obstacle course. Every few minutes he twisted the car around on one side or the other to escape a pothole, a squirrel, or even a crack in the pavement.

  Carm and I glanced at each other and found it hard to keep the giggles inside. Thank God for my cousin. Soon, the three of us were laughing and giggling as we bounced from side to side.

  It felt good, normal, almost like nothing had happened, though one look around told me how different things had become. Multiple sirens shrieked in the distance as police and sheriff’s cars sped to another disaster. Our route was clear, but I knew from what I’d seen on the TV that the next street could be filled with debris or blocked off. The sight of several Guardsmen standing on corners, armed and ready, made me gulp nervously.

  The changes became more noticeable as the cab spun around the side street and pulled up in front of our white ranch house, the sidewalk lined with pots of bright red geraniums, the long porch decorated with a white wicker couch, several white chairs and coordinating cheery red pillows. Everything (except me) looked normal here.

  Careful to keep my face shielded, I stepped out and waited as my aunt paid the cabbie. He stared at us before taking off with a squeal of tires. The street was empty, no one about except for a few neighbors who peeked out their door or through their curtains. Probably trying to sneak a peek at the neighborhood freak, I mused. I forgot how fast word spread in a small neighborhood like ours.