Lost

by P. C. Cast

  “Easy-peasy,” Shaunee said.

  “That means you’re leaving the circle open after the smudging,” Aphrodite said. “So, what’s next?”

  I met her gaze. “Next, I summon Oak, the Old Magick tree sprite who answered my questions before.”

  “Why are you messing with Old Magick again?” Aphrodite asked.

  “Because I’m going to ask her to lead me to the Other World where my brother needs my help.” I spoke quickly and was instantly filled with a wave of relief for finally having told everyone.

  “That’s fucking nuts,” Aphrodite said.

  “No!” Other Jack’s eyes had gone huge. He looked absolutely terrified. “Don’t go, Zoey! That world is horrible.” He shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself. “I know your brother told you some things about it, but you can’t possibly understand. You just can’t. Don’t go! ” He started crying softly, and Damien took him in his arms.

  “Why do you believe you must go there?” Darius asked me.

  “Several reasons,” I said. “Kevin’s been using Old Magick. A lot of it. And he doesn’t have any idea how dangerous it is, or what it can do to him. I have to tell him before it changes him.”

  “He’s using it because that’s the only way to defeat Neferet,” Aphrodite said.

  “No, it’s not,” I countered. “It was the only way to defeat our Neferet, because she’d become immortal.”

  “Well, doesn’t it make sense that becoming immortal is the path she’s on over there, just like it was over here?” Shaunee said.

  “Yes. And that’s another reason I have to go over there. Right now Neferet is just a vampyre. Who knows what’ll happen if I wait? Plus, I have a plan to turn the Blue Army against her.”

  “How?” Aphrodite asked.

  “Jack, correct me if I’m wrong, but from what my brother told me the Warriors believe Neferet is still in the service of Nyx, right?”

  Jack sniffled and nodded vigorously. “Oh, yes. Neferet’s their only High Priestess. They count on her to know Nyx’s will.”

  “And what would happen if there was absolute proof Neferet wasn’t following the will of Nyx anymore?” I asked.

  “The Warriors wouldn’t follow her. Well, some might. Like, some of her lovers. And there are many of them. But the majority would stop fighting for her, and that includes a bunch of the Blue Army,” Jack said.

  “That’s my plan,” I said. “I’m going to show everyone at the Other World Tulsa House of Night that Neferet is a fraud—that she’s using her powers for Darkness and isn’t following Nyx anymore.”

  “Good plan, Z, but how ya gonna do that?” Stevie Rae asked.

  I smiled at my bestie and at her mate. “Well, for that I am going to need the help of Rephaim.”

  “Me? Of course I’ll help you.” Rephaim spoke with no hesitation. Then he blinked and I saw understanding bloom across his face. “You’re going to free my father in that world!”

  “Yep, that’s part one of my plan. What better way of showing that Neferet isn’t following Nyx than having her winged Consort denounce her in front of the entire House of Night?”

  “But Kalona was a real asshat when he first was freed over here. What the hell are you going to do about that?” Aphrodite asked.

  “I’m going to count on his son to get through to him,” I said. “And me. Remember that I still have a piece of A-ya within my soul. Rephaim and I—together—have to be able to reach Kalona, especially since we know that deep inside he still loves Nyx and was so awful because he didn’t think the Goddess would ever forgive him.”

  “And we’re going to convince Father he’s wrong about that,” Rephaim said.

  “Hopefully a lot faster than he was convinced of it over here,” Aphrodite muttered.

  “So, you want Rephaim to go over there with you,” Stevie Rae said.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “But even if that works there’s still the Red Army to deal with,” Jack said, his voice sounding shaky. “And they’re monsters. They don’t care about who Neferet follows. They don’t care about Darkness or Light. All they care about is feeding their hunger.”

  “And that’s why there’s a second part to my plan. Stevie Rae, I’m sorry, but I need to ask you to please come with me too.”

  Her look of relief made my heart squeeze. “Oh, Z! Of course I will!”

  “If I’m getting this plan of yours, you’ll need me too,” Aphrodite said.

  “Yep, but not this you. The Other Aphrodite,” I said.

  “Okay, look, it’d be lots easier if I went with you,” Aphrodite said.

  “You can’t. You’re already over there, and you’re a Prophetess, but you’re also a fully Changed blue vampyre. Not the first blue and red vampyre there ever has been,” I said.

  “So what? Erik can give me some of that crap they use on actors to cover their Marks so that humans can forget they’re watching vamps,” Aphrodite said.

  “Yeah, I can. There’s a bunch of it in the Drama room,” Erik said.

  “Even though my man doesn’t use it,” Shaunee said. “Because if those asswipe human bigots can’t grow enough empathy to identify with someone who looks different, then that’s their problem and they can stop watching his movies.”

  “But they all want to watch your movies,” said Jack, sounding adorably starstruck.

  Erik turned his movie-star megawatt smile on Jack. “Then I guess they’ll have to accept who I really am, or they’re shit outta luck.”

  Jack giggled.

  Man, Erik’s grown up! I thought. Good for him. “Erik, would you go get the cover-up for me?”

  “I’m on it. Be back in a sec.” Erik sprinted away.

  “See, I can cover the red in my Mark and go over there with you. We’ll do our thing again, and the red fledglings and vamps will get their humanity back. No biggie,” Aphrodite said.

  “And what about the Other Aphrodite?” I turned to face my friend, hating that what I had to say to her was going to cause her pain. “What does you stepping in do to her? Will that mean she never grows up? Never learns to care for more than herself? Never learns empathy or that sometimes love means sacrifice? Never learns to stop self-medicating and to stand up to her mother?”

  Aphrodite stared at me, her face going pale. “What if she’s not capable of learning? I asked Other Jack about her. She’s definitely not with the Resistance. She’s in league with Neferet. What if the me in the Other World is already lost to Darkness and you can’t reach her like you reached me because Neferet killed you too damn soon?”

  “At your core—in your souls—you two are the same. I know what that core is, and it’s not Darkness. You have more Light in you than any of us—Nyx showed us that by the gifts she’s given you. I can reach the Other Aphrodite.”

  “I wouldn’t bet my life on that,” Aphrodite said.

  Without any hesitation I said, “I would. Over and over again.”

  “I would too,” Darius said, putting his arm around Aphrodite.

  “Me too,” said Stevie Rae. “Even though you and I seriously disagree on my music choices.”

  “And your fashion choices,” Aphrodite added.

  “I believe in you too, Prophetess,” said Rephaim.

  “We all do,” Shaunee said.

  “Z will reach you because you’re not the only one of us greatly gifted by Nyx,” said Shaylin. “So is Zoey Redbird.”

  I watched Aphrodite wipe away tears before she said, “If it’s not for me, why is Erik getting the cover-up crap?”

  “It’s for Stevie Rae!” Jack spoke like a light bulb had just lit over his head. “You gotta cover her Mark because there are no female red vampyres in my old world.”

  “Exactly right, Jack.” I patted the backpack still slung over my shoulder. “Which is why I have sapphire makeup penci
ls in here. Stevie Rae, are you ready to be a blue fledging again?”

  “Sure! Hope it turns out better this time around, though.”

  “You can bet on that,” I said. “Because I’ll be joining you. And this time as a normal blue fledgling.”

  “Seriously?” Shaunee said.

  Instead of answering her I asked a question. “Jack, are there other High Priestesses in your old world?”

  “No. Not anymore. Neferet is the only High Priestess there,” he said.

  “And my guess is Neferet keeps a close eye on the remaining priestesses—just in case one of them begins developing into a High Priestess. Am I right?”

  “Well, it’s not like I was close with her or anything like that, but everyone knows Neferet doesn’t allow any other priestess to perform rituals for the school. She has to lead everything. But she doesn’t let red fledglings or vampyres attend rituals anyway.”

  I shook my head. “She must have done something terrible to the High Priestesses to get them to shut up and step aside.”

  “I don’t know about that, but there are rumors—only whispered in the tunnels where Neferet would never go. Some say she killed them.”

  “Goddess, no!” Shaylin gasped, and Nicole took her hand reassuringly. “That’s horrible! Nyx’s heart must be breaking!”

  “And that’s a third reason we have to go over there. Nyx needs us. We all know the Goddess won’t manipulate the actions of mortals, but we know her will—Stevie Rae, Rephaim, and I—and we’ll make sure to end the atrocities Neferet has committed in Nyx’s name.”

  My circle nodded somberly in agreement as Erik jogged up, handing me a bag filled with makeup bottles and sponges. “Everything you need’s in there. I brought you the waterproof kind. It’s hell to get off, but you won’t have to worry about any Marks showing through it, not even if you get caught in rain or snow.”

  “Thanks, Erik.”

  “Break a leg over there. I believe in you,” he said.

  I stuffed the bag in my backpack and had to clear my throat before speaking, but I finally was able to say, “Okay, I think that’s everything. Are y’all ready?”

  I asked the group, but I only watched Stevie Rae and Rephaim. They were the first to respond.

  “Yes. I am ready,” Rephaim said.

  “Me too, like a hog’s ready for his mud wallow!” Stevie Rae said as everyone (except Aphrodite) laughed and nodded.

  “Where’s Stark?” Aphrodite said, shutting everyone up.

  “The last time I saw him, he was in the Media Center,” I said.

  “And why is your Warrior not here at your side?” asked Darius.

  “Because I won’t let him come with me.”

  “He can’t!” Jack blurted. “Everyone knows General Stark. Even with his red Mark covered, anyone who saw him would know in an instant who he looks exactly like, and they’d grab him.”

  “I know, and that’s what I told him, but he can’t stand the thought of me going into danger without him.” I drew a deep breath and spoke the rest of the truth. “And he thinks I’m going over there to see Heath, which hurts him. Real bad.” I hesitated and then added, “Guys, after I’m gone, would you all please stay close to Stark? Help him through this? I’ll be back, and when I am I’ll make this up to him. I’ll make him understand, but until then I just …” Then I lost my words as grief and loss overwhelmed me. What if Stark never forgives me?

  “We’ll help him,” Damien said. “Don’t worry about that. Just focus on what you have to do over there to come back here. I’ll talk to Stark.”

  I went to Damien and hugged him hard. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Tell him how much I love him.”

  “I will, but he already knows, Z,” Damien whispered back.

  I stepped out of Damien’s comforting embrace. “Everyone be sure you have a smudge stick, and then take your places. Let’s get this over with!”

  22

  Zoey

  It was cool having my friends join me inside the circle, and I realized how long it’d been since I’d led a major ritual. I’ll have to fix that when I get back, I promised myself, because I would get back—and so would Stevie Rae and Rephaim.

  Damien, Shaunee, Shaylin, and Stevie Rae took their places at each of the four quadrants of the circle, picking up their ritual candles. Their Warriors and lovers spread out with them, filling in the circle. I went to the center, where Jack had placed my purple spirit candle and a box of long, wooden matches. I paused long enough to draw several deep, cleansing breaths. Then I opened my backpack and easily found the bell I’d put in the front flap. Holding it carefully so that it didn’t start ringing, I picked up the matches and moved to the eastern edge of the circle where Damien stood expectantly with his yellow air candle in one hand and his smudge stick in the other.

  “Air gives us breath and so much more. Without it we wouldn’t be able to shout or laugh, cry or scream. It is the first element we know when we are born, and so we always begin the circle by calling it. Air, please come and help blow away the Darkness that has tainted this tree. I welcome you to our circle!” I lit Damien’s candle and a rush of warm breeze lifted my hair. As soon as I felt the air, I held the bell high and rang it loud and clear, three times.

  Then I moved deosil, or clockwise, to stand before Shaunee in the south.

  “Fire warms us. It nurtures us by cooking our food, and it cleanses by burning away that which is no longer useful. Fire, please come and help this sage burn away the Darkness that has tainted this tree!” I didn’t need to touch my match to Shaunee’s red candle. It burst into cheery flame instantly.

  “Burn, baby, burn,” Shaunee whispered.

  I smiled and lifted my bell, ringing it sharply three more times, then I moved deosil to the west and Shaylin, who waited there expectantly holding up her blue candle.

  “Water is us, just as we are water. Without it would we turn to dust and dirt and die. With it, we are quenched and cleansed. Water, please come and help us wash away the Darkness that has tainted this tree!” I lit Shaylin’s candle and the scent of the ocean filled the air around us as I lifted the bell again and rang it three times before continuing my trek around the circle to Stevie Rae in the north.

  “Hey there Z!” she dimpled at me.

  “Hello, earth,” I smiled back at her. “Earth is our home. It sustains us. It feeds us and holds us close, and it is to earth our bodies eventually return to rest within her. Earth, please come and strengthen us so that Darkness no longer taints this tree!” Stevie Rae’s green candle burst into flame and we were surrounded by the delicious scent of night-blooming jasmine. I inhaled deeply as I lifted my bell and rang it three more times.

  Then I moved to the center of the circle and picked up my purple candle. “Spirit, you are who we are at our purest. You are what lives on when our bodies can live no longer. You fill us each uniquely and set our personalities—our loves, our hates, and our desires. Spirit, please come and fill this place that has been abused by Darkness so that Light may shine here once more!” I rang my bell three final times, and as its clear echo faded, I placed it on the ground and picked up the thick smudge stick of fragrant white sage.

  I faced my circle, loving the silver thread of light that bound us. It was so bright that it illuminated the tree, making it appear as if Darkness had already begun to be cleansed from it.

  “Okay, elementals, light your smudge sticks. The rest of you light your sticks from each of theirs. Jack, are you ready with a few of your favorite things?”

  “I am! Just tell me when to press play!”

  I waited for a few breaths until everyone’s sage was lit and gray-white smoke began to billow lazily around the circle.

  “Okay, when the song begins everyone join in. Dance and draw shapes in the air with your smudge stick—be joyful—think nothing but good thoughts. Just be careful not
to step outside the circle,” I said.

  “And don’t worry, we all love Julie Andrews. It doesn’t matter who you are—sing, sing, sing!” Jack said gleefully.

  “That’s right!” I smiled at him. “Press play, Jack!”

  As “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens” played, my circle and my friends joined in. At first we were all a little tentative, but by the time we got to “when the dog bites,” we were all singing and laughing and dancing around the circle.

  “Ohmygoodness, look!” Stevie Rae pointed up at the smoke lifting in swirls and eddies above us, and we all gasped together.

  Moving in and out of the smoke, firefly-looking sprites darted like sentient diamonds, glittering and glowing—and changing the smoke to form the shapes we were singing about. I saw kittens with big whiskers, sleigh bells, and what I was pretty sure were wild geese flying with the moon on their wings.

  It was one of the most magickal moments of my life, and I wished with everything inside me that Stark was there, laughing and singing and dancing at my side.

  “Z! Look at the tree!” Jack shouted.

  I did—and had to tell my mouth not to flop open. More firefly sprites swarmed it. Starting from its splinted, broken base they flew in time with our music, around and around, up and up, and as they moved, the tar-like blackness that had tainted it washed away, until all that was left was a kinda strange-looking, splintered, lopsided tree that began sprouting tiny buds along its once-ruined limbs.

  “It’s going to have leaves on it again!” Stevie Rae shouted joyously over the music.

  Twirling and laughing, we sang the last lines with Maria and the Von Trapp family, “ ‘I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel soooooo bad!’ ”

  Breathing hard and grinning, I said, “Jack, would you gather all the smudge sticks and put them here in the center of the circle by the tree?”

  “Me?”