by C. Hallman
Then I found out about you, Amara, and you changed everything in my life. You gave me a reason to do more than simply exist. John loved you, you were his princess, but... he wasn’t your father. He knew this from the moment I told him about you, yet he always treated you as his own. I never understood why, but I guess, in a way, you were part of him just the same. My only regret is I never had the chance to let James know before John took me away.
I hope you can see the resemblance between the two of you. I always did. Countless times, I would get lost in your eyes because they reminded me of him, of the love we shared. I loved him, I always will, and somehow, I know I always did. I’m still just as much in love with him now as I was then.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I looked for him. I needed to tell him. This wasn’t something I could die knowing. I know you’re hurting beyond repair, but please know it was never my intention. You’re strong, and I know eventually, you will see this through. Know you were made out of love, and it wasn’t his fault I hid you from him. Whatever you do, don’t hate him. He doesn’t deserve it.
I am sorry for keeping this from you, for being the person who hurt you the most. One day, I hope you will be able to forgive me. I love you in mind, body, and spirit. Nothing could ever separate me from you. I’ll always be in your heart.
P.S. I hope you live, never simply exist...but LIVE.
With love,
Mom
My tears stain the white paper, smearing the words slightly as I fold it up again. She never meant to hurt us, but she did. Now she wasn’t here to fix the problems she had caused. I’m a casualty of a war that started years before my time. I didn’t start this, but I’ll be the one to end it.
“I’m so sorry, Amara.” James, my father’s voice, meets my ears, but I feel a million miles away.
My heart is breaking all over again. Even after reading it, I don’t want to believe it. I can’t because believing it makes it real, and making it real, makes everything before this time a lie.
Closing my eyes, I let the darkness sweep me away. I can’t deal with this right now. I just need to escape.
“Jared. Enzo,” James yells, but I feel nothing. My body going numb, and my mind shutting down.
I hear Enzo rushing in. Opening my eyes, I see his hands and mouth moving a hundred miles an hour. None of it matters, though. Deep inside of me, something is happening, something similar to an earthquake. I’m cracking—breaking, shuddering into a million pieces.
Enzo’s arms wrap around me, lifting me up, he cradles me to his chest. He carries me to the bedroom, laying me down on the bed.
“Talk to me, Amara. Say something, anything,” he pleads, shutting the door to our room. What can I say? I’m lost in the sea of lies and deception. Tears stream down my face, making their own little river.
“Are you in shock? What the fuck is going on, Amara? You’re scaring me.” I want to say good. At least I’m not scared on my own anymore.
“Amara, fucking talk to me,” Enzo shouts. His hands dig into my shoulders as he shakes me, trying to get any response out of me.
“Lies upon lies. And then more fucking lies. My whole life was one gigantic fucking lie. Selfishness got in the way of it all,” I cry, my anger shattering the air in the room. Enzo’s eyes grow large as he watches me sit up.
“It’s a lie!” I scream, shoving him with my hands. He stands there like a brick wall, which just adds more fuel to my fire.
“She should’ve told me. She should’ve fucking said something. She shouldn’t have died and left me here without answers. She thought a fucking piece of paper would do justice…” I pound my fists against his chest at his unemotional state, the anger inside of me swelling.
“Why are you just standing there? Say something or get out!” I growl, glaring at him. I’m broken. I’m so fucking broken.
“You’re hurting. You want something to take it out on. If you want to hurt me, then do it.” Those are the only words he says as he stares at me, black opals shining in the light. The brown of his eyes is lost in the black.
“Hurt you? Who do you think I am?” I ask, pushing him back and away from me. “I’m not you. I don’t feel better because I hurt someone else.”
“This has nothing to do with me. Work out this fucking anger and sadness,” he growls. I grit my teeth, looking him straight in the eyes.
“You’re just using me. You’re as bad as they are.”
“Stop twisting this into something it isn’t,” he seethes, anger just on the surface of overflowing.
“Oh, but it is. Twisting it would have to make it untrue. You knew, didn’t you? You knew all along,” I accuse, smacking his face with the side of my hand. Bubbles of anger simmer within me.
His jaw clenches as one of his hands snakes out, gripping my hair. It pulls tightly against my scalp, and I hiss, releasing a bite of pain. Leaning into my face, he tilts me up to look at him.
“Never accuse me of doing or knowing something like that.” His tone is off the rails, animalistic by nature.
Leaning even closer to him, I almost cause our lips to touch. “I didn’t accuse you of shit. I stated a fact!” The words spit from my mouth, and the second they leave it, I am flying. A moment later, I land on the bed with precision. Bouncing across the mattress, I come to a halt with my breaths turning into pants and my chest heaving with anger.
“How dare you!” I growl, trying to get up. I only make it a foot before Enzo’s body leans over mine, trapping me.
“We’re going to play a game, Amara. We’re going to get rid of all of this anger, and the best way I see fit is to fuck. So, tell me—top or bottom?”
10
Enzo
Her body quivers with a need for release. It isn’t just the sex though; this is the mental kind of release. She is having a breakdown, but we don’t have time for this shit right now. She needs to get herself together, and I know just the way to do it.
“Get the fuck away from me,” she hisses, reminding me of a trapped animal. Her eyes are brimmed with emotion, her anger front and center.
She looks like she’s caught between wanting to give up and wanting to cry.
“The only place I’m going is inside of you.” I smile like a prick, my arms trapping her, so she’s unable to move. Whatever is going through her head has nothing to do with her and me.
“Tell me, Amara, what was it that pushed you over the edge the most—seeing your real father, your mother lying to you, or you loving the man who killed John?” It’s a low blow, and I know it, but in this situation, it is necessary.
My face is a stone mask, knowing if I cringe, even the slightest bit, she’ll call my bluff. She squirms beneath me, trying to get away.
“How could you even bring that up, you sick bastard?” She shoves against my shoulders with all her might, but I don’t budge.
“Or maybe it was the lies. We all know there are tons and tons of lies. Your whole life was a giant lie. No answers were ever given. How’s that feel?”
Her fists pound against my chest, and her legs kick out, but I hold my ground.
“Learn to acknowledge the hurt and pains in your life, Amara. At least you can fucking feel them. At least your heart is still beating. Deal with it!” I all but scream at her. Her hits become more powerful, and as I push more weight on her, I can hear her cries growing louder.
“She lied. She fucking lied to me. No one gave me answers. No one cared, and now I have no one.”
“So she fucking lied. What do you want to do about it?”
“I want to hate her. I want to know why she lied. One note is meant to make up for close to twenty years of lies.”
“It’s a note, Amara, not your life story. I know you wanted more, but we can’t change the past.” My tongue darts out, licking a path directly to her ear. She tastes like cinnamon and sugar.
“I believed all of them. I believed my parents. I believed you. I’m so stupid and naive.”
“You’re a lot o
f things, but stupid is not one of them. You might have been naive, but that’s not your fault. Your father was a well-trained manipulator.”
“I don’t care. I want revenge, I want madness and chaos. I want people to pay,” she snarls, every word like a demand. “I want to make them pay, but there is no one left. No one to blame but me.”
“Blaming yourself isn’t going to help. Revenge only gets you so far. Killing John didn’t make me feel any better, Amara. It’s a temporary feeling, really. It’s a false sense that maybe—just maybe, it will make you feel better to get even. Maybe it will bring back the person you lost—but it doesn’t. It makes you feel worse because you inflicted the same type of pain on someone else. Yes, John deserved to die, but not by my hands.”
“Death was yapping at his feet, you just helped it along… just like I had my role in helping it along.”
“Stop this. This isn’t you. Don’t let this shit consume you. Deal with it.”
“I hate you. I hate everyone,” she barks, her chest rumbling with my own.
“You hate me?”
“Yes, I hate you,” she roars.
“Good,” I say, pressing my lips against hers firmly. She bites at them so hard I feel the skin break. Blood seeps out of the wound and onto both our lips. I revel in the taste and the pain. This is better than her sadness. Anything is better than her sadness.
“You want my cock? You want to take your frustrations out on me? Show me, tell me what you want, piccolo,” I purr against her skin. She whimpers, turning her face away from mine.
“No, I want you to leave. Get out! I don’t want you in my bed anymore. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” I know she is only saying this to push me away, because she feels guilty about loving me–loving the man who killed her father. But I will not allow it. I won’t let her make that choice for us.
“That, Amara, I can’t do. I’m not going to leave, and you are not going to leave me… ever.”
“Fuck you,” she sneers, giving me one more shove. That’s when I finally have enough.
“Oh, don’t worry, someone is about to get fucked.” Snatching her wrists, I pull them roughly above her head. “You are done pushing me away, and I’m done not giving us what we both want.” Leaning into her, I nibble on her earlobe. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you feel good.”
Holding her arms with one hand, I use my other to unbuckle my belt. When I pull it out of my pants, Amara’s eyes widen.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Tying you up. Then fucking you into oblivion.”
“I hate you,” she snaps, but the tremble in her voice is betraying her. So are her hard nipples rubbing against my chest as I wrap my belt around her wrists and pull it tight.
“You mentioned… but yet, your cunt gets wet for me every time.”
“Ow!” She yelps, tugging at the restraints while staring at me with fire in her eyes.
“You’re fine.” I fasten the other side of the belt to the bedpost before making quick work of my clothes.
“Untie me. I don’t want you.” She struggles, wiggling beneath me, but I still have her pinned with my body weight.
When I’m naked, I start ripping her clothes off; it’s like I can’t get her naked fast enough. She squeals and kicks at me when I get to her panties, but her fight only gets my cock harder.
Grabbing her knees, I force them apart and position myself between her thighs. I enter her in one swift move, pushing myself in her drenched pussy all the way to the hilt.
“Fuck, I knew you would be wet,” I grit out while pounding into her relentlessly. I don’t give her time to adjust, I just start rutting into her.
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mingled with my grunts and her soft whimpers.
Her back arches off the bed and her eyes squeeze shut. I can already feel her thighs quivering, her pussy squeezing around me. My dirty little girl likes being tied up and fucked. She loves me being rough, me taking from her, owning her body.
“Come for me. I want you to squeeze my cock, come all over my dick, so it’s nicely lubed up when I fuck your tight asshole.”
My crude words are what set her off. Her walls squeeze me so tightly, it’s almost painful. I dig my fingers into her hips, holding her in place as I fuck her through her orgasm.
Her head falls back into the pillow, and a string of incoherent words fall from her lips before her body goes slack.
Pulling out of her, I flip her over onto her stomach like a rag doll. Her body still limber from her intense release.
Placing my hands on either side of her ass, I spread her cheeks apart. Leaning down, I run my tongue over the puckered hole, massaging it, before dipping my tongue in a few times.
Reaching over at the nightstand, I open the drawer and pull out a small bottle of lube. I squirt a good amount over her puckered hole, before pumping my fingers in and out a few times.
“That’s all the warm-up you get today. I need to be inside of you again.”
Straightening up, I get on my knees and take my cock into my hand to bring it to her hole. The tip slides in with ease, only when I push in further does her asshole clamp up. She moans into the pillow and tugs on her wrists.
Grabbing a fistful of her hair, I pull her head back.
“Relax. Be a good little girl and take my cock,” I grunt and shove into her deeper. She sucks in a sharp breath, her body shuddering. “That’s it, take it all.”
I thrust in the last few inches, her asshole strangling my cock so much, my balls draw up, ready to dump a load inside of her. Not yet.
Pulling out a little, I let go of her hair and place my hand on the back of her neck instead. Simultaneously, I push her face into the pillow, and my cock deep inside her ass. A strangled moan leaves her throat, and I continue my punishing thrusts.
When I know I can’t hold on much longer, I snake one arm around her and find her clit. “Come for me again. Come while I have my cock shoved deep up your ass.”
I rub her little swollen bud while thrusting hard into her ass. She starts bucking, trying to shift me.
“That only makes my dick harder. Stop fighting and come again, or I’ll fuck your ass all night. Maybe shove my cock down your throat a few times too.”
Another orgasm wreaks havoc on her body. She stiffens, every muscle in her body tightens, including the tight ring my cock is currently wedged in.
“Fuck!” I grunt and spill the biggest load of cum into her ass.
Panting like I just ran a marathon, I slip out of her ass and fall onto the mattress beside her. Sweat is covering my body, and my heart is racing in my chest.
Amara is completely still and silent next to me, and for a split second, I wonder if I actually hurt her. Worried, I undo her wrists and flip her over, half expecting her to be crying.
Instead, she looks… peaceful. Her eyes half-closed, her cheeks flush, and her lips slightly parted but relaxed. She seems content and sated.
“I’m tired,” she whispers, and I know she doesn’t just mean physically.
“I know, baby. Rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.” I lean over to kiss her lips gently. “I’ll always be here.”
I pull the blanket over Amara’s naked and worn body before settling next to her.
Closing my eyes, I pull her closer into my chest, simply enjoying the way she feels. I’m quickly interrupted by the pounding on the door.
“We need to talk now!” Jared says loudly on the other side of the door. I cringe at his voice. He sounds mad, maybe disappointed even.
“I have to get up, piccolo,” I whisper, withdrawing myself from the bed and her body. I could stay there all day. She groans, rolling over on to the other pillow, but never opening her eyes. Grabbing a pair of sleep pants from the armchair, I pull them on and slip out of the room.
“Do you think fucking her is the best idea when her father is here? And does it even bother you we’re being hunted by the fucking FBI?” I roll my e
yes at him.
“I have a plan…” I say, pushing against his chest. I respect Jared for all he has done, but the way he is talking to me right now is making my blood boil.
“Oh, one that doesn’t consist of fucking my sister into submission?” Before I can even stop myself, I reach out and grip him by the scruff of his shirt.
“What I do with her is none of your business. I was giving her what she needed. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Enough, boys,” James says from the entrance of the hall. Jared and I stare at one another, both of us on the verge of killing someone. With a shove, I release him and walk away into the kitchen.
“I have a fucking plan. I just need to pull a couple strings, and I will have it all in order.”
“Well, it better be a good fucking idea because hiding out is getting old. We have been hiding for way too long.” He’s getting antsy, and I get it, but we need to do this my way. I don’t want to drag anyone else into this mess. Jared won’t be the one to put the bullet in Mack’s head.
“It is. It involves an old friend of mine,” I say, pouring the coffee into a mug. I turn around, placing my cup on the table. Both Jared and James have the same scowls on their faces. In fact, it’s so identical it makes me smile.
“An old friend? Let’s hope it is someone worth trusting?” Jared probes.
Smirking, I say, “I’m sure we can trust Eli.”
11
Amara
“You’re going to take her out on a fucking date with death knocking on our doorstep,” Jared bellows at Enzo.
Three days have passed since I went off the rails momentarily. My little breakdown caused quite the stir up between everyone, or maybe it’s the fact that Jared and James heard us fucking. God, I’m still embarrassed about that. I can barely look at James without my cheeks turning red, which is weird since, in all reality, I barely know the man. Yes, we share genetics, but that’s basically it. I just can’t accept him as my father.