Let's Make It Legal

by Patricia Kay

  But curiosity drew him to the machine.

  “This is Sid Wells, John. It’s urgent that I talk to you as soon as possible. Could you please call me?”

  John grabbed the receiver before Sydney’s father broke the connection. Fear engulfed him. Had something happened to Sydney? “Sid? I’m here. Is something wrong?”

  “John, oh, good. Glad you’re there. No, nothing’s wrong. I just need to talk to you.”

  “Oh?”

  “But I’d prefer to talk in person. Could you meet me for drinks somewhere?”

  “No, Sid, I’m sorry. I can’t. My daughter’s sick, and I can’t leave.”

  “How about if I come over there, then?”

  “When? Now?”

  “Yes, now.”

  “Will this take long? Sydney’s coming over for dinner at seven-thirty.”

  “It won’t take long. And since I sure don’t want Sydney there when we talk, I guess I’d better hurry. I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”

  Sid Wells was as good as his word. Twenty-five minutes later, glasses of scotch in hand, the two men were sitting in John’s living room.

  “I’ll get right to the point,” Sid said after taking a swallow of his drink.

  “Good.” John couldn’t imagine what Sid Wells had to say, especially if he hadn’t wanted to say it in front of Sydney.

  “Sydney got a call from Neil Creighton today.

  John frowned. “Neil Creighton?”

  “You know. The director of the Children’s Advocacy League.”

  “Oh, yeah...”

  “He told her that the lead counsel for the league has resigned.” Sid’s gaze met John’s. “He offered Sydney the job.”

  John’s first reaction to Sid’s news was anger. Why was it that any time something important happened with Sydney, she always talked to her father about it first?

  After the anger came a sinking feeling of dread. Even though John had never worked in Sydney’s field, he knew enough about it to know that a job offer like this one was something most people only dreamed about.

  “You know what this means, don’t you?” Sid said, eyes narrowed.

  John fought to control his emotions. He had no intention of allowing Sid Wells to see how his news had affected him. “Of course I know what it means,” he managed to say in an unemotional voice. “It’s quite a coup for Sydney.”

  “You bet your boots, it is. Hell, it’d be quite a coup for anyone, not just Sydney! ”

  “I know that.” What did Sid Wells think? That John was stupid?

  “Oh, yes,” Sid continued as if John hadn’t spoken. “That job is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It’s the kind of thing Sydney has worked toward for years.” He paused, giving John an intent look. “She’d be a fool to turn it down.”

  John nodded. A leaden unhappiness settled over him. “Yes, she would.”

  “Would it surprise you to find out she told me she might turn it down?” Sid continued, his blue gaze relentless as it pinned John. “She said her decision hinged on you and what you had to say.”

  At least she had considered John’s feelings.

  “I know you won’t stand in her way, though,” Sid said. “Because if she turns down this job, she’ll regret it the rest of her life. You don’t want that, do you?”

  “No. Of course I don’t.” Sid was right. She would regret it. And that regret would color their entire relationship. Would eventually ruin their entire relationship.

  “Then it’s up to you to see that she doesn’t turn it down,” Sid said. He drained his glass. “I’d better be going. Think about what I said.”

  As if he could think about anything else, John thought after Sid left. He hated to admit that Sydney’s father was right about this, but of course, he was.

  Sydney loved her work, and she was exceptional at it. John had seen that for himself the day he’d worked for her. He’d seen it again when he’d watched her in court during the final arguments on the Montgomery case. And he’d heard it every time she discussed any of her cases.

  This job would be the perfect showcase for her talents. It would give her the kinds of challenges and exposure most defense attorneys would give their eyeteeth for. It would test her abilities to the limit, and be invigorating and inspiring and rewarding.

  If she turned down this offer from the Children’s Advocacy League, not only would she regret the decision, she would also grow to resent John for forcing her to make it. Eventually, she would hate him.

  His heart felt like a stone in his chest as he realized exactly what he must do.

  * * *

  Sydney had butterflies in her stomach as she pulled up in front of John’s house. It was exactly seven-thirty. She took several deep breaths as she walked up the front walk and onto the porch.

  Oh, John, please be happy for me. Please say it’s okay.

  She rang the doorbell. A few minutes later, John opened the door. He smiled at her.

  “Hi,” he said softly.

  “Hi.”

  He drew her inside, then put his arms around her and held her close. “I’ve missed you,” he said.

  She wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Oh, John, I’ve missed you, too.”

  He kissed her then—a lingering kiss that stirred Sydney deeply. When the kiss ended and Sydney looked into John’s eyes, she felt confused. He seemed so serious. Sad, even. She wondered why. She looked at him quizzically as he released her, but he avoided her gaze.

  “Do you want to say hi to Emily before we have our dinner?” he said.

  She smiled. “Yes, I do. I brought her something.” She pointed to the shopping bag she’d set down when she first walked in.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” he said.

  Sydney followed John up, and he led the way to Emily’s bedroom. Emily looked pretty good. She was sitting up in bed and watching television.

  “Hi, Emily,” Sydney said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Okay. I wish I didn’t have to stay in bed, though.”

  “I brought you something.” Sydney handed Emily the package.

  Emily tore off the wrapping paper. She grinned. “A book!” She looked at the cover. “Song of the Buffalo Boy by Sherry Garland,” she read out loud. “Gee, thanks!”

  “It’s autographed,” Sydney said.

  “It is? Gosh, I’ve never had an autographed book before.”

  John leaned over the bed and kissed Emily’s cheek. “Do you need anything, honey?”

  “Some more orange juice,” Emily said.

  While John got Emily her juice, Sydney walked back to the playroom to find Jeffrey. He squealed with delight over the puzzle she’d brought for him.

  By the time Sydney walked into the living room, John was already there. “I ordered Chinese food. Is that okay with you?” he said.

  “Anything’s okay with me,” Sydney said.

  “It’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. Do you want a drink while we wait?”

  She shook her head. “No, I, uh...” She sighed. “John, there’s something I have to tell you.” She might as well get it over with right away. Otherwise, she’d go crazy from nerves.

  He listened quietly as she relayed her conversation with Neil Creighton. As she talked, she searched his face. What was he thinking? It was impossible to tell. “The offer is wonderful, isn’t it, John?”

  “Yes, it is wonderful. When do they want you to start?”

  “The first of April, but I haven’t said yes yet. I-I really want to take it, of course, but...I’ll turn it down if you want me to,” she said in a rush. “You’re more important to me than any job, John. I want you to know that.”

  He nodded, a funny little half smile on his face. “I’m really proud of you, Sydney. You know that, don’t you?”

  Sydney hadn’t even known she was holding her breath until she expelled it. Relief flooded her. It was going to be all right.

  “And I would never expect you to turn this job down,” he continued. “For
me or for anyone else. This is what you’ve worked for all these years. You’ve got to take it.”

  “Oh, John,” she exclaimed happily, “it’s going to be so good for both of us. You’ll see. You won’t ever be sorry. And I just know you’ll find a wonderful job in Washington, too.” She beamed at him. “Maybe it was all meant to happen this way. For us to start our life together somewhere new.”

  His dark gaze met hers, and the expression in his eyes caused her stomach muscles to clench in sudden uncertainty. “I can’t go with you, Sydney.”

  “You can’t go with me?” she repeated dully, refusing to believe what she was hearing.

  “I’m very sorry. I wish I could, but it’s impossible. My life is here.”

  “Well, then I won’t go eith—”

  “Don’t be stupid. Of course, you’re going. This is the chance of a lifetime. I don’t want you to turn the job down.”

  “But, John,” Sydney said, pain tearing through her. Didn’t he love her? Didn’t he want to marry her? Didn’t he care? What was he saying?

  “In your place, I’d take it,” John said. He gave her that little half smile again. “And never look back.”

  Sydney’s heart was beating too hard. She felt as if she might faint. Why was he doing this? How could he show such a callous disregard for what they had shared, for what they meant to each other? How could he so easily dismiss their plans and hopes for the future?

  I’d take it and never look back.

  The words battered her. They were the most wounding words she’d ever heard. How could he say them? Surely he didn’t mean them!

  Her pride almost caused her to walk away. But something, some hint of sadness in the back of his eyes, some flicker of pain that he was trying to disguise, stopped her. He didn’t mean any of this. She was sure of it. She remembered what her father had always told her about going after what she wanted. He’d always said she was a fighter, that she never gave up.

  “John, I don’t know why you’re doing this,” she said reasonably. “Out of some misguided sense of pride, maybe. Or maybe you’re just plain afraid, but you don’t have to be. It’ll all work out. We can be happy in Washington. In fact, it’ll be good for—”

  “Afraid!” His jaw hardened, and his dark eyes glinted with anger. But when he spoke again, his voice was mild. “Let it go, Sydney. Just let it go, okay? Before we both say things we’ll regret later.” He leaned forward, taking her hands in his. He rubbed the tops of them with his thumb. “Let’s try to part as friends.” Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and John released her hands. “Our food is here.”

  While he went to answer the door, Sydney tried to repair her shattered emotions. She didn’t know what to do. Nothing had turned out the way she’d imagined.

  When John returned, he set the bag of food on top of the card table. “Shall we eat while it’s hot?” he said.

  “I can’t believe you just expect me to eat as if nothing’s happened,” Sydney said. She walked over to him, sliding her hands up and around his neck. “John, please. Talk to me.”

  For one naked moment, his eyes mirrored the longing she felt. Then he gently disengaged her arms. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  “But it doesn’t have to be hard. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Sure, I want to take the job, but not at the cost of losing you. I’ll turn it down.”

  He stared at her. “No. Don’t do that, Sydney. I think you’re right. This job offer was probably meant to be. Actually, it’s really made things easier for me.”

  “I... I don’t understand.”

  “Look, Sydney, for a while now, I’ve realized we made a mistake in getting engaged.”

  If he’d stabbed her through the heart with a knife, her pain wouldn’t have been greater.

  He continued speaking as if he hadn’t just delivered a body blow. “I had already come to the conclusion that it wasn’t going to work. I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you.”

  “John...” He couldn’t mean this. He couldn’t!

  “So I think we should just say goodbye like two adults and get on with our lives.”

  “Goodbye?” Sydney whispered.

  His eyes were unreadable. “Yes.”

  “John, this is crazy! I love you, and I know you love me. Don’t try to deny it!”

  A muscle twitched in his cheek. He shrugged. “I’ll get over it, and you will, too.”

  “But why should we have to?” she cried, desperation pushing her. She couldn’t accept his edict that it was over between them. She didn’t know what his motives were for doing what he was doing, but she was sure he wasn’t telling her the truth. For whatever reason, he had decided this was the way things had to be. But Sydney loved him too much to just walk away. She’d never walked away from any challenge in her entire life, and she wasn’t about to start now. Especially since this challenge was more important than any she’d faced.

  He turned away so she couldn’t see his eyes. “Our relationship was doomed from the start,” he said.

  “No! I don’t believe that!”

  He shrugged. “Whether you choose to believe it or not, you can’t change the facts.”

  “The facts! John, you’re twisting everything. The thing I don’t understand is why.”

  He finally looked at her again. “The reason you don’t understand is that you refuse to see anything you don’t want to see. From the very beginning, you’ve had the idea in your mind that you could change me. You didn’t like what I did for a living, so you decided I didn’t like it, either. You wanted me to sell my house, and you never gave a thought as to why I couldn’t. And now—” He broke off, running his hands through his hair in a gesture of futility. “Oh, what’s the use. Like I said, let’s just forget it.” He smiled cynically. “It was great while it lasted. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

  Sydney stared at him. Her chest heaved as she fought to control her emotions. When she finally spoke, her voice was as flat and hard as his had been. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I could never have been happy with a coward for a husband.”

  He flinched.

  Good! She’d finally gotten to him. “I thought by now,” she continued implacably, “that you’d have finally realized what you’re doing to your life and stopped.”

  “You’re talking in riddles.”

  “All right. I’ll speak just as plainly as you have, then. You’re afraid, John. Afraid of life. You’re hiding in your safe little cocoon, and you’re scared to come out. You think as long as you stay in there and take no chances, nothing can hurt you again.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” But his face had drained of color.

  “I think I do,” Sydney said, desperation fueling her words. “Because I was doing the same thing before I met you, John. The difference is, I was hiding from a part of myself. Because I was afraid, too. Afraid of being a woman. Afraid of failure and rejection. You showed me I didn’t have to be afraid. You helped me crawl out of my cocoon and face my femininity.” She walked toward him and placed her hand on his cheek.

  Something flickered in his eyes, and hope spurred Sydney on. “John, please, please don’t do this. I love you. And you’ve admitted that you love me. I don’t believe our engagement is a mistake. I think we can build a good life together, if only you’ll meet me halfway. I know you want to go back to practicing law. I know you’re bored silly by what you’re doing. Please, John, face it. Admit it. And come with me to Washington.”

  His body was rigid as he answered her. “You’re the one who’s refusing to face the truth.”

  Sydney sighed. She dropped her hand. It was no use. He refused to see. “Have it your way,” she said sadly. “But if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit I’m right.”

  She made one final plea before walking out the door. She knew she was begging, but so much was at stake, she didn’t care. “Don’t throw away what we’ve found together, John. Please think about what I’ve said.”<
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  They never did eat their dinner.

  She finally left. She drove home in a daze, and was surprised to find herself in her parking garage. She didn’t remember any part of the trip.

  It’s over. I can’t believe it’s really over.

  It wasn’t until she was unlocking the door to her condo that she realized she was still wearing John’s engagement ring.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sydney’s words ate at John.

  No matter how many times he told himself she was wrong, that all she’d done was spout psychobabble at him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her accusations.

  But she was wrong.

  He wasn’t afraid.

  He wasn’t hiding from life.

  Those charges were ridiculous. He was simply trying to give his children something safe and secure. Something they could count on. Something that wouldn’t be snatched away from them as their mother had been snatched away from them.

  He was building something good and solid. He was safeguarding their future.

  Still, Sydney’s words refused to go away.

  * * *

  The following week crawled by. Sydney hoped against hope that John would call her.

  Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. The weekend.

  All went by with no word.

  The telephone at home and at the office remained ominously silent.

  Finally, on Monday, nearly a week since their confrontation, Sydney knew John wasn’t going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to call her.

  She removed her engagement ring and placed it in its original box. She wrapped the box carefully and asked Norma to send it by express delivery to John. She didn’t include a note.

  * * *

  Sydney’s engagement ring arrived Tuesday afternoon. John stared at the box when Janet brought it into his office. He knew without opening it what was inside. He could feel Janet’s eyes as he pretended nonchalance, placing the box on his desk unopened.

  “Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked.

  “No.” He turned back to his computer and pretended to study the screen.

  He didn’t look up until Janet left his office.

  * * *