Dirty Little Lies

by James, Clare

  “Insane or brilliant?” He tries for cute.

  It doesn’t work; I want to slap the hell out of him right now, but he’d probably like it.

  “Don’t worry. The file won’t leave this place, unless you do something to threaten our little club or the members. It’s really no big deal, Stevie.”

  “So I’m safe as long as I play by the rules?” I ask, pissed now that my perfect night has turned into such a betrayal.

  “Correct,” Gabe says. “Welcome to The Club, baby. You have officially made it through initiation.”

  Great. Now what?

  GABE

  I knew there’d be a crowd for Stevie, I mean look at her for fuck’s sake, but I didn’t know it’d be so big or that they would stay and watch for so long. I want them gone. I want everyone gone. Everyone, but her.

  This possessiveness, this need to want to take care of Stevie isn’t sitting well with me. This place isn’t about that. It’s about being open and having a safe place for people to get what they need, without judgment.

  I’ll never be that traditional kind of guy, so I need to get these thoughts out of my head right now. But, fuck. The feeling of her coming, on my hand, on my tongue. Christ. I want her in about five different positions, all at the same time.

  But I want her alone.

  I hate what I have to do now. How I’m going to shatter this incredible night. I hate that I have to make this fake admission, all just to meet the expectations of The Club. The patrons watching will love it. Yet, I don’t think Stevie is going to take it well. And I hate to disturb her in this state. She is flushed, trembling, and completely blissed out. I want to keep her this way. Forever.

  But I can’t. I guess now’s the time we’ll see what she’s really made of.

  I take blanket and cover her. She leans into it. “So, you ready to join this little club?”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely,” she says. “Where do I sign up?” She is completely adorable.

  “No sign up, just initiation.” I cringe.

  “And what does that entail?” she asks.

  I take a deep breath and tell her everything it entails. The tape, the file on all of our patrons, the way all of this really works.

  The way this lifestyle really works. Shielding her from it will not do her any favors.

  Still, I wish I didn’t have to do it this way, but the crowd is expecting a show and I have to give it to them. I just hope she doesn’t storm out of here before I get the chance to tell her the truth.

  Chapter 13

  Gabe’s admission jolts me out of my afterglow and leaves me unsteady as I try to make sense of what he’s just said. He filmed us—and our filthy exploits—as some sort of twisted initiation rite for The Club. His eyes search mine as if trying to communicate something, but I quickly look away. I can’t believe he did this to me. Tightening my grip on the covers, I snag each article of my clothing that Gabe passes over to me. I keep the sheet around my body, trying to shield all my delicate bits from the camera. And from him.

  The fucking sleezball.

  My skin is itchy and I want a shower. I want to wash away the entire night. Fighting nausea, I swallow down the saliva currently pooling in my mouth. It’s hard to believe that only moments ago I was soaring from the most intense orgasm of my existence.

  Gabe doesn’t say a word now—cat’s got Mr. Suave’s tongue. Further proving that all of this has just been an illusion, one shattered at the mention of a sex tape.

  After I’m put together, Gabe gently takes my arm to lead me back to the meeting room. I yank it from him, but continue to follow because I’m too confused—and queasy—to do anything else. By the time we reach the room full of people, I’ve officially come down from my high.

  The entire place has now lost its appeal. The beat of the music is too loud and forced, and the floral smell wafting through the room is giving me a headache.

  I was ready to do almost anything to get my membership card into this place. I wanted to bathe in the adrenaline rush I got from Gabe. It was the most thrilling experience—there with him, in that room, as he did the most delicious things to me. The fact that people were watching us on the other side of the wall only heightened the encounter. It’s odd that it’s taken me so many years to I discover I’m kinky. Who knew?

  Of course, I’ve always loved my toys—and even had a few boyfriends who were down with it. But after Max flipped his shit when he saw my box of goodies on move-in day, I guess I just buried that part of me.

  And that pisses me off even more. I finally uncover this piece of myself after all this time, only to have it taken away from me.

  There’s only one person to blame, and once I regain my balance, I’m on the attack.

  “You cocksucker,” I yell at Gabe, smacking his chest. He’s not going to get away with this.

  Gabe grabs my arm tightly. Too tight. His mouth is in a straight line, but his eyes betray him. They’re wide and frantic, and he looks a little freaked out—like he is the one who just found out he’s the lead character in a porn flick. My body is almost convulsing in anger, and hitting him isn’t enough. I know I should be throwing some of this anger back at myself for being so incredibly stupid.

  Now, all I can think about is where that video might land. And all the pervs who are going to get off by watching me get off. Oh God. What if the people at work find out? Or worse? My parents—the sweet, suburban Sinclairs. I could just see it: Mom and Dad shopping online for the latest kitchen gadget at William Sonoma and stumbling upon their little girl getting serviced on the internet for all to see.

  No, this situation cannot get worse.

  Is it wrong I’m also worried about the angle of the camera and if it captured my good side? What, too soon?

  “I’m sorry,” Gabe says, leading me back toward the main bar. “I knew you wouldn’t do it if I told you about the initiation. And then you would’ve missed out. You were on another plane, Stevie. I know you enjoyed the hell out of that.”

  “Missing the point.” I struggle from his grip. What a nightmare. This is why someone like me belongs at home—eating ice cream in her Hello Kitty pjs—not running wild in the city.

  “Please hold on for a minute,” Gabe says, tensing his grip on me. “Give me a chance to explain.”

  “Just take me home,” I yell, not wanting to hear any reasoning for his betrayal.

  “No,” he says, pulling me to a stop.

  “No?” I repeat, my jaw so tight, it’s throbbing.

  Gabe doesn’t let up on the manhandling, so I begin to formulate an escape. Maybe a kick to the shins while yelling fire? A Three Stooges eye poke? Or a good ol’ fashioned punch in the junk? Hmm, any of those should do it.

  “No,” Gabe repeats, caging me into the wall. “I didn’t do it,” he whispers in my ear.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, now more befuddled than ever. Didn’t do what?

  “There were people still on the other side of the glass when we were done,” he continues. “I guess I didn’t realize there’d be such a big crowd. They were listening, Stevie, so I had to pretend. The videotaping is part of initiation, for the reason I told you. Everyone here has gone through it.”

  He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. “But I promise you, nobody was filming us. I made sure of it. I wouldn’t do that after all you’ve been through.”

  What the h. e. double hockey sticks is going on?

  “How did you pull that off?” I ask, not understanding one word of this. “What makes me so special?”

  “You’re my guest,” he says simply.

  “And?”

  “Nobody wants to piss off the boss.”

  “You own this place?” I can’t help the disgusted look on my face.

  Nice. I’ve been hanging out with the spawn of Larry Flynt.

  “I’m the silent owner. I told you, I dabble in many different businesses.”

  I hold my head and rub my temples, trying to prevent the explosion s
ure to happen any minute. This is too much for my body and my brain. I feel like I’ve just ran two marathons and been through a month of college finals. I’m not sure I can handle hearing anything else tonight.

  “I know this has been a crazy night, Stevie. It’s a lot to take in. But this place has been a lifesaver for so many people—I think it could be for you, too. If you give it chance, and give me a chance.”

  “Right now, I need some time to process, Gabe. I need you take me home.”

  “Okay.” He gives me a kiss on the forehead, and it’s crazy but my eyes immediately close and I lean in. There’s a pull to Gabe I can’t deny.

  I must be punch-drunk from the mind-blowing orgasms. Or maybe it’s not lilies I’ve been smelling in the room, maybe it’s opium poppy or some other hallucinogenic. It’s like I’m trapped in the porno version of The Wizard of Oz. That’s the only reasonable explanation why I’m still here.

  “I just want you to see one more thing before we go,” Gabe says. “It’s the reason we’re here actually.”

  “So we didn’t come here to be the entertainment in the glass room?” I can’t believe I’m joking about all of this. Yes, it’s definitely poppy floating in the air.

  “Well, that was a bonus.” Gabe chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

  I hate to admit it, but it starts to work. He’s talked me down off the ledge. Still, I know I’m in over my head. I’m out of my element—just a visitor in his lifestyle.

  “Gabe, please just take me home,” I say, letting my mother’s ingrained common sense kick in.

  “Just hear me out, Stevie. What we did in that room, it was hot and you know it. I can see it in your eyes. You’re torn about what you want and what you think you should want. Someone at some point made you feel that what you wanted—what you needed—sexually was wrong or bad or dirty.”

  “Are you really going to psychoanalyze me now after all the shit you pulled tonight?” I say, despite the fact that he’s one hundred percent correct. Still, I don’t care what he thinks he knows about me, I don’t need anyone else making judgments about my sex life. Max did that enough in one lifetime.

  And what’s even worse? Being this close to Gabe makes me nuts. All I want to do is kiss his dimple, bite his bottom lip, and so much more. I think I may need some serious help. Actually, I’m certain I do.

  “No, I’m not going to psychoanalyze you, but I can see what’s happening here. And I don’t want you to feel bad about it. You are an incredibly sexy woman. I think you should get to know that side of yourself, without guilt.”

  He’s breaking me down, there’s no doubt. But the truth is, this has been the most amazing night of my life. I’ve never felt this wanted, or sexy, or strong. This night has been more than just a fantasy. It’s been so freeing. I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up. As Gabe said, I’d be cheating myself if I didn’t get the whole experience.

  “Okay,” I say, caving just a bit. I’ll hear him out. I can do that much. “What did you want to show me?”

  He takes me to a seat in a corner of the meeting room. The energy still has that same feral heat, people prowling or posturing, looking for the next conquest. As I slowly start to relax, I can see how beautiful it really is. Primal, natural. Yet, there’s this unbalance. It’s almost as if we’re in another time period, and that becomes even more apparent when a woman enters the room.

  It’s quite the production: four men—well, more gladiators than men—carry a gorgeous redhead on what Gabe describes as a lectica. It’s a traveling bed used in ancient times to transport royalty—think Cleopatra.

  “Who is that?” I ask, wide-eyed, unable to turn my attention away from her.

  Gabe smiles. “That is Venus, AKA, my friend, Reece.”

  Reece is wearing a white gown and looks like a goddess as the men parade her around. Her porcelain skin glows, and her long curls hang down her back. Curls I’ve seen before. Yes, she’s my room service gal.

  Gabe sees the recognition on my face. “Reece helps with a lot of my businesses,” he says in explanation. “This is her reward.”

  The men bring her to an open area by the dance floor and secure the bed to a platform. Two men deliver her drinks, and a woman braids her hair while Reece watches the dancers now performing for her.

  I’m enthralled and unable to move.

  Gabe runs a finger down my arm, clearly understanding what’s going on inside me.

  A pull, or feeling, or need—I’m not quite sure how to explain it—holds me in place as I watch Reece and enjoy Gabe’s touch. It’s not rational, but now that I’ve discovered that kink is on the menu, I can’t deny it.

  I like this. And I want it.

  When I look over my shoulder, I can see Gabe’s been observing me with that gorgeous smirk on his face.

  “She gets anything she wants during her reign,” he tells me. Then he goes on to explain that everyone is here to serve her—the ultimate position at The Club and the ultimate fantasy.

  As I watch Reece, I fade away—deep into my own mind. I see myself on that bed. Damn, I look good. I’m lost in reverie until Gabe clears his throat.

  “I want to do that,” I whisper over the sounds of the crowd.

  “I knew you would.” He laughs. “This is why I brought you here, babe. Reece is ending her reign in the next few days. The role is open, and it’s one you were born to play—in my humble opinion, of course.”

  “Okay.” I meet his gaze, unwilling to fight off my urges any longer. “Tell me what I have to do.”

  Chapter 14

  “Actually, what you did with me tonight is almost the hardest thing you’ll have to do.” Gabe smiles, happily telling me how I can take over as Goddess.

  I can’t believe I want this, but I do. Badly.

  “You really think I could do it?” I ask.

  “I do. I knew it when you told me about your list yesterday.”

  Yesterday. If all this happened in only twenty-four hours, I wonder where I’ll be in ten days.

  “Ah, so that’s it.” I tap a finger to my lips. “Your hotel is a cover—you really use it as a recruiting ground.”

  “Not funny,” he says now, all traces of fun wiped off his face. “I’ve never done anything like that before. Usually, there’s no need to recruit. We actually turn people away here. There’s something about you though, Stevie. I just knew you had this need inside. Like a secret you hadn’t discovered yet.”

  “What kind of secret?” I ask. “The fact that I’m apparently into kink?”

  “Well, yeah. There’s that.” His smile is back . “But there’s more to it, I think. I do know I was right about what you need in the bedroom. Most people aren’t ready to jump in like you did, Stevie. You are fearless. And hot as hell.”

  “That’s because I was with you, and you know it.” I ignore his compliment. “Now, I need some specifics about Venus. Just lay it on me.”

  “Hold on. I think we need to take baby steps. But I will tell you, the process is really about becoming acquainted with The Club, checking out the rooms and such.”

  “Such?” I ask, feeling my body tingle. I like this … this excitement I’m feeling. And I believe Gabe. I know he didn’t tape me, and even if he had, I would be okay. This is a different world with different rules. I trust him and somehow know he won’t hurt me. I believe what he told me—he’d been in my position before, and he knew what it was like to feel lost. I just hope to learn his story before we part ways.

  “Well, for starters, if you’re game, when we return, you’ll need to spend some time in the touching room,” Gabe blurts out a little too fast. He’s definitely worried about filling me in on all of this.

  “Can I wear my clothes inside the room?” I ask.

  “See, that’s another part of the dues.” He grimaces.

  “Tell,” I say, waving him on.

  “You’ll have a … costume, I guess you’d call it.”

  “What kind of costume?”

  “Trad
itional Roman wear. It’s almost like a toga, with a few adjustments. But let’s not worry about it now. I think it’s time for you to sleep on all this. It’s been an intense day.”

  I nod and let him direct me to the limo. I’m suddenly so tired I can hardly walk, yet every nerve ending in my body vibrates with anticipation about what’s going to happen next. Up until this point, it’s like I’ve been sleepwalking through life—never really participating, always settling. I’m still not sure about all of this, but I want to see it through.

  Breaking his own rules, Gabe follows me up to my hotel room. I shuffle in and collapse on the bed. My bed for the next ten days. I’m feeling a bit like Venus already.

  Gabe gathers my bag, shoes, and other incidentals I’ve dropped in my wake, and places them in a neat pile by the desk.

  “Max is an ass,” Free abruptly announces when he realizes he has an audience.

  “Ah, the notorious Free Bird,” Gabe says, walking over to the cage and sticking his finger inside to pet the little loudmouth. “I think I like you already, sir.”

  “Max is an ass,” Free repeats. “Going out with Gorgeous Gabe.”

  “Ha!” Gabe exclaims. “Yes, I like you quite a lot, Free.”

  I bury my head in embarrassment. How I could have any sense of shame at this point is beyond me.

  Gabe comes over to the side of my bed and sits. “Gorgeous, eh?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I dismiss him. “You’re all right.”

  “Still playing games, are we?”

  “Isn’t that what you’re hoping for?” I ask, resting my head on the pillow.

  “If you’re talking about The Club, then yes, I do hope you continue to play. Tonight was earth shattering. And I’ve had some amazing experiences, Stevie. But tonight was something else; I don’t know how to explain it.”

  He draws a line down my body. Chin to chest, then his finger continues to travel between my breasts, stopping at my waist. His touch lights me up once again, making me forget all about my exhaustion.