These Arms of Mine

by Judy Lynn Hubbard

  At the top of the stairs, Alesha watched and listened to the exchange with keen interest. She learned more as an observer than she ever could have from questioning Derrick about his ex. This woman had nerve and a half! Angela was right—she was a hussy! Having heard enough, she walked down the stairs, ready for battle.

  “You know it’s sisters like you who give other sisters a bad name.”

  “Amen!” Derrick shook his head in agreement.

  “Is that right?” Diana turned hateful eyes in her direction as Alesha walked over to stand by Derrick.

  “Yes, that’s right,” Alesha said, placing a possessive hand on her husband’s arm. “I was threatened by you, but now I see how silly I was.”

  “Really?” Diana scowled.

  “Yes.” Alesha laughed. “You’re pathetic.”

  “Listen, you little…”

  “I’m Mrs. Derrick Chandler.” She slowly enunciated every word and smiled at Derrick when he placed his arm supportively around her waist. “That’s something you’ll never be again.”

  “She certainly won’t,” Derrick vowed.

  “I’ll be the one by Derrick’s side when he takes his place in congress, not you. You had your chance and you blew it. He doesn’t want you. How many ways does he have to say that before it sinks in?”

  She’d had her fill of this insufferable woman! Despite the way their marriage had begun, she and Derrick were married. He was hers and she had no intention of giving him up, especially not to the likes of this woman!

  “Diana, I don’t know what story you think you have to sell to the press, but go ahead and sell it to the highest bidder.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Don’t I?” He pulled Alesha closer. “I have what I want and need right here in my arms and there’s nothing you can do to take it away.”

  “Nothing at all,” Alesha firmly chimed in.

  “If you want to ruin your own career by spreading malicious lies about our brief, unpleasant dalliance, then go ahead. But knowing how ambitious you are, I don’t think you will.”

  “Now that you’ve embarrassed yourself beyond compare, will you do us the pleasure of leaving our home and never returning?” Alesha smiled brightly.

  “Gladly.” Diana’s eyes shot daggers at them both. “You two deserve each other!”

  “See, darling? I think she finally got the message.”

  To twist the knife further, Alesha turned into his arms and kissed Derrick. They heard heels clicking and a door slamming, and when they pulled apart, she was gone.

  “Good riddance!” Derrick vowed. “The audacity of that woman!”

  “She is a brassy one.” Alesha laughed, wiping lipstick from his mouth with her fingers. “What did you ever see in her?”

  He joined her laughter. “I don’t know. She caught me at a low point and I foolishly thought she could help me forget.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. What an idiot I was.” He laughed at himself. “She’s nothing like you, which, I guess, was her appeal.”

  She sobered at his admission. “Derrick, I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

  “Yes, I do.” She closed her eyes briefly and came to a decision. “I want to tell you why I pushed you away two years ago. Everything.”

  “Now?” He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her troubled eyes.

  “Yes, it’s about time. Don’t you think?”

  She was tired of keeping secrets from him, of all people. She needed to be completely honest with him. He deserved it.

  “It can wait.”

  “No. I’ve held this in long enough. You have been so wonderful to me. You deserve the truth, if you still want to hear it.” She placed her palms on his chest and waited for his response.

  “I do.” He covered one of her hands with his.

  She took a deep breath and then released it. “First of all, what I said at your country house after the wedding about my feelings for you frightening me was true.”

  “I felt the same way.” His admission made it easier for her to proceed.

  “Do you remember when we were dating before and you wanted me to meet Cam?” She focused her attention on a pearl-white button on his shirtfront.

  “Of course. We were going to have dinner, but you had to cancel.”

  “I was there at the restaurant.” She tilted her head until her eyes meet his.

  “You were?”

  “Yes. I was coming out of the ladies’ room. You and Cam had your backs to me and I overheard you telling him that you were so happy to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t want anything from you. Someone who wasn’t carrying around a lot of excess baggage, or who had a mountain of problems she expected you to miraculously fix.” She related his words verbatim.

  “Alesha, I didn’t mean…” Her fingers on his lips silenced him.

  “No, it’s all right.” She removed her fingers from his mouth to rest on his jaw. “I had just learned that morning that Momma had a life-threatening heart condition—one that was going to require surgery and long rehabilitation.”

  “Oh, God!” He finally had the missing piece of the puzzle. “She seems so healthy.”

  “She’s been doing great since her surgeries.”

  “Thank God for that.”

  “Robert and I wanted her to have the best doctors.”

  “Of course you did.”

  “I ended up emptying my savings and other bank accounts and selling what good jewelry I had and my car. Robert did the same and got a second job, but it still wasn’t enough. Even after insurance and taking out loans, it left us with huge bills, but about six months ago, she had a slight relapse and her doctor wanted her to see a specialist—one who wouldn’t consult on her case unless we came up with our share of the money upfront, and that’s why Robert took your money.”

  He paused before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She shrugged. “I was going to the day we met again, but…”

  He sighed. “But I said I didn’t care.”

  “Yes.”

  “I lied. I did and I do care.”

  “Thank you for saying that.”

  “I mean it. Barbara is a special lady.”

  “She’s everything to Bobby and me.”

  “I know. I’ll apologize to him.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I do.” His eyes grew intense. “Who is Kevin? Obviously, he wasn’t your lover as you led me to believe.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “He’s the brother of a friend. He came up to see his sister for the weekend, but she was out of town, so I let him sleep on my sofa. He’s like a brother to me.”

  “Why did you let me think something else?”

  “Because I had tried everything to get you to accept my decision to end things between us, and you wouldn’t do it. I didn’t plan for you to see me and Kevin the way you did—me dressed in a robe and him only in shorts, both obviously fresh out of the shower. The opportunity just presented itself and I shamelessly took advantage of it.” She paused. “I knew what it looked like, I knew what you thought and I let you believe we were lovers because I knew that would end things between us once and for all. It hurt too much to keep seeing you and speaking to you on the phone—telling you I didn’t want a relationship with you when the truth was that was all I did want, but couldn’t have at that time.”

  “Why didn’t you come to me once things were somewhat resolved?”

  “How could I after the horrible way we parted?” She shrugged helplessly. “I honestly didn’t think you would want to see me again and I didn’t want to face your contempt.
”

  Her eyes implored him to understand her actions and the reasons behind them. His thumbs lightly stroked her cheeks and he smiled at her tenderly. His mind sorted through dozens of questions that suddenly seemed meaningless. He had just received the answers to the most important questions.

  “Oh, Alesha.” He sighed her name. “So there never was anyone else?”

  “Never.” She shook her head. “I was just so overwhelmed, but now my reasons for pushing you away seem so trivial and stupid.”

  “You always wanted me?” He skipped to the heart of the matter—the only question he needed answered.

  “Always,” she agreed without hesitation.

  Neither of them spoke for a long time. They simply stared into each other’s eyes, silently telegraphing secret messages of regret, sorrow—and hope.

  “It’s in the past. Let’s leave it there and go forward,” he finally suggested.

  “That sounds good.”

  His thumb brushed away a tear that escaped from the corner of her eye. He smiled slightly and kissed her—the gentlest, softest kiss she had ever experienced—and it melted her soul and her heart. He was such an enigma to her. She never knew what he was going to do or say, yet he always seemed to do and say the right thing.

  “It hurt me more than I thought anything could when you suddenly and completely shut me out of your life.” He tenderly fingered her hair. “It infuriated me that you never gave us a fighting chance.”

  “I couldn’t. You sucked up all the oxygen until I didn’t have anything left. Bottom line—my mother needed me and I didn’t have the time, inclination or strength to be in a relationship with you, no matter how much I wanted to.”

  “Did you want to?”

  “Yes. In the short time we dated, I felt alive as I never had before.”

  “Your rejection sent me headlong into a disastrous relationship with a woman I should never have given the time of day.”

  “Your marriage to Diana.”

  “Legally.” He smiled ruefully. “But what I had with her was never a marriage.”

  “I was so jealous when you told me about her.”

  “Why?”

  She took a deep breath before admitting, “Because she was your wife, a wife you wanted to marry.”

  “We were married, Alesha, but she was never my wife—not like you.”

  “I’m just a means to an end.”

  He frowned. “Do you honestly believe that, still?”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “You’re my wife, Alesha.” His hands framed her face. “That’s how I think of you.”

  “And you’re my husband.” She paused before asking, “Do you want to stay married to me, Derrick?”

  “Do you?”

  They smiled at each other tenderly, without answering verbally. She suddenly knew she could never live without him—just as she knew she had fallen helplessly, irrevocably in love with him twice. After all the years of soul-searching she had done, that revelation came as naturally and effortlessly to her as breathing did. For a moment, she thought that she had spoken her feelings out loud, because Derrick’s expression shifted to one of total gentleness and understanding. Did she imagine it, or was there a reciprocal wonderment in his eyes as if he, too, had come to the same conclusion?

  Chapter 13

  At the party, both Derrick and Alesha tried to put the unpleasant scene with Diana out of their minds. They were on the dance floor. Her head lay on Derrick’s shoulder, eyes closed. One hand rested on his opposite shoulder, while the other was clasped in his warm hand, close to her face as they swayed to the soft music. His head rested against her hair as he held her close.

  “Are you okay?” Derrick’s question forced Alesha to lift her head.

  “Yes, I’m fine.” She stared at him adoringly. More than anything, she wanted to feel his lips on hers.

  His eyes shifted to her moist lips, reading her mind, and then moved back to her beautiful face. “We can leave if you want to.”

  “This is important to you—we can stay.” Then at his continued look of concern, she added, “Really, I’m fine.”

  He gave in to temptation then and grazed her lips with his. He allowed himself to lightly caress her mouth for a few seconds, before he pulled away—knowing if he didn’t, things would get embarrassing.

  She replaced her head on his shoulder, instinctively knowing why he had ended their brief kiss. Disentangling her hand from his, she slid her hand up his shoulder until both her arms encircled his neck. His hands moved from her waist to her lower back, holding her closer still as they continued to dance.

  She closed her eyes again, allowing herself to escape. It felt so good to be in his arms. She didn’t want to be anywhere else, except where she was, and she knew that neither did he. This was where she was meant to be—forever.

  He wished he had her home right now, because he would make passionate love to her—he would make her forget all the pain she had experienced. He was determined to erase the past hurts and dissolve the years they had spent without each other. In his arms, he would make her feel nothing except complete ecstasy.

  Unfortunately, the song ended too quickly, and they reluctantly left each other’s arms and walked off the dance floor hand in hand, only to find Cam curiously watching them both. As they approached, Derrick’s eyes silently warned him not to make any flippant comments.

  “Senator Hatcher wants to speak with you, Derrick,” Cam informed him as they reached his side.

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  Alesha placed her hand on his arm as she stared at him lovingly. The look she gave him almost took his breath away.

  “No, I’ll be back shortly. Stay here and try to keep Cam out of trouble, will you?” His eyes darted to his friend.

  “I’ll try.” She smiled. He kissed her softly before walking away.

  “Where’s Mary?” she asked, referring to Cam’s date.

  “Oh, she’s in the ladies room or somewhere.” Cam seemed to have little interest in his date’s whereabouts. “Are you enjoying yourself tonight?”

  “I am.”

  “I know these functions can be very boring, but…”

  “They’re a necessary evil.” She completed the sentence for him with a knowing wink.

  “I see you’ve heard that from time to time.”

  “Once or twice.” She smiled.

  Cam laughed. “Derrick can be a workhorse when it comes to his career, but he’s also very kind and giving. Of course, you know that, don’t you?”

  “He’s a very complex man.” She cautiously eyed him over the rim of her glass.

  “Not really, not once you understand his motivations. I hope you’ll try to.”

  “Why is that so important to you?”

  “He’s my friend—my best friend. I want him to be happy, and you make him happy.”

  “What about Diana?”

  He grimaced. “Please! She wouldn’t know how to think about someone else if her life depended on it!”

  “Have you seen her since she returned to town?”

  “No, and God willing I will be spared that unpleasantness.”

  She laughed. “You don’t like her very much, do you?”

  “Nope.” He shook his head emphatically. “And I never did.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she is, was and always will be a user.”

  “You’re right about that.”

  He frowned. “What is she trying to pull?”

  “Oh, nothing.” Alesha shook her head. “She doesn’t matter.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

  “Why?”

  �
��Because I know she came back into town to try to cause trouble for you and Derrick.”

  “She did, but she can’t.” Alesha smiled. “We won’t let her.”

  “I think Diana has met her match.”

  She smiled secretively. “I think she knows that now.”

  “Derrick would have my hide if he knew I was saying this to you.” Cam glanced away briefly to make sure his friend was nowhere to be seen.

  “But?”

  “But I’m going to say it anyway. You’re good for him. As I told him this morning, I don’t understand why the two of you won’t admit your marriage is real.”

  “You told him that?” Her face registered surprise and gratitude.

  “I did.”

  “What was his response?”

  “What’s yours?” he quickly countered.

  “Well, I…” She was interrupted by Derrick as he joined them, placing a possessive arm around her waist.

  “What were you two so engrossed in?” He eyed them both closely.

  “Your campaign. What else?” Cam smiled.

  Alesha shot him a grateful look. Derrick noted the quick exchange between them and made a mental note to find out what mischief Cam had been up to in his absence.

  Hours later when they entered their bedroom, Derrick helped her off with her stole, placing it on a nearby chair. He reached for the light, but Alesha’s hand prevented him from flipping the switch on. Her hand traveled up his muscled arm to his shoulder, coming to rest behind his head as she moved closer to him. She pulled his face toward hers as she placed a lingering kiss on his lips.

  She kissed him slowly, enjoying every second, every movement of their lips against each other’s. His hands caressed her waist as she continued to astonish and delight him with her forwardness. When she slowly withdrew her lips from his, he stared at her expectantly, yet made no move toward her—leaving the outcome in her hands.

  Her fingers deftly unfastened his tie before moving to unbutton his shirt, sliding it and the jacket simultaneously from his broad shoulders. As her fingers lightly touched the hair on his chest, he sucked in his breath quickly, as if the contact burned him. She moved closer to his hard body and her hands splayed across his muscled back as her lips captured his once again.