Safe (Conquering)

by Ryan Michele

  Tears began streaming down my face, splashing on the tiles beneath me. I fell to my knees, hitting several shards of glass but not caring. My tears turned into sobs.

  Before I realized what was happening, arms once again wrapped around my body, pulling me away. I sobbed harder, grabbing Landon’s shirt, trying to anchor myself, but it wasn’t working. I couldn’t stop the tears.

  Rob was going to find me, beat me, and kill me. I knew how pissed he got about the little things, and me leaving would be the nail in my coffin. I knew when I left that his ego wouldn’t be able to handle it, but I just had to get away from him. Now look at the total mess that I made of everything.

  I wasn’t sure how long this went on for before whispered voices pulled me out.

  “I know Renzo; just clean this up before she wakes up.”

  “Fine. But you gotta figure out what’s going on,” Renzo’s voice cracked.

  “I just need to make sure she’s safe before I start asking any questions,” Landon whispered back.

  He wanted to make me safe. I wanted so badly to be safe, but he had no idea what from, and I couldn’t tell him. “What’s going on?” I looked up at Landon.

  His eyes shot to mine. The deep concern in them did not go unnoticed. “I think you may have cried yourself to sleep. Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know.” My voice was quiet and unsure. I didn’t know if I would ever be okay again. “I’m really tired.”

  “Are you hungry?” Landon asked.

  “No. Just tired. I need to go to bed. Thank you for everything.” I went to get up from his lap, but he held me tight. I did not resist.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll sleep on the couch. I need to make sure you are okay.”

  I knew if I had all my wits about me, I would protest this. But damn it, I wanted him here. I wanted him with me, in my house. I wanted him to protect me. I wanted him … at least for the night.

  “Okay.” His smile was beautiful, and when he kissed the top of my head, a piece of the wall around my heart crumbled. Landon lifted me up with ease and placed me on the bed.

  “Lauryn washed all your stuff,” Landon said.

  “I’ll have to thank her,” I whispered.

  Seeing Renzo with a large bag, which I knew contained all the broken pieces of the mirror, I added, “Thank you, Renzo.”

  “Not a problem. You feel better.” Without another sound, he left the room.

  Landon sat on my bed next to me, absently roaming his fingers over the blanket. I could tell that he didn’t want to leave, and while having him in the house was wonderful, I needed some time alone.

  “I need to sleep please.”

  “I’ll let you sleep, but just let me sit here for a few minutes.” Landon looked in my eyes and began stroking my hair. I didn’t know what he was seeing in my eyes, but in his, there was turmoil. Why, I didn’t know … but something was eating at him. I hoped it wasn’t me.

  Before I realized it, I drifted off to sleep.

  I woke with a start. I had the strangest feeling that someone was watching me. I looked around the room, but didn’t see anyone. I then heard the door click, and I knew I wasn’t imagining things.

  Getting up to see who was at the door, I heard voices coming through it.

  “She’s still sleeping,” Landon’s voice whispered.

  “Okay. Get some sleep. You’ve been up like every hour checking on her,” Lauryn whispered back.

  “I can’t sleep. I just wanna make sure she’s okay.”

  “You gotta get some sleep while she’s sleeping.”

  “I will.”

  To hear he cared about me enough to keep checking on me throughout the night was more than I thought my emotions could take. I was spinning and adding whatever this was … it was too much.

  I climbed back into bed, pulling all the covers up over my head. I wished it were an invisible cloak that would make me disappear from this life. No such luck.

  I was here, and I had a seriously major problem on my hands. Rob. I really was stupid when it came to this. I knew that. But if I woulda, coulda, shoulda about every little thing, I’d make myself even crazier than I already was.

  Hopelessness was a horrible feeling. I wished it upon no one. Where did one go from here? Where did one find a solution? Who was it okay to talk to? Or was it okay to talk to anyone? Rob always said—engrained in me—that no one would believe me. I wanted someone to talk to … I needed someone to talk to. But who?

  Fading into sleep, my thoughts drifted to navy blue eyes.

  Again I awoke to the clicking of the door. Frustration had now taken over. Four times … four times he had woken me up to check on me.

  While I felt anger ticking in me, I also felt the kindness and caring behind it. He really cared enough about me to keep making sure I was okay.

  Rob would have just thrown me in the room and went out.

  Not Landon, he’d been here every step of the way.

  Getting up from bed, I heard no voices in the hallway. I opened the door slowly and only saw a small light coming from the living room.

  I made my way toward it.

  Landon was sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees holding his head in his hands—the same exact pose as when I ran from him in the diner.

  I slowly made my way toward him.

  I whispered, “Landon.”

  His head popped up, and he rushed over to me. “Are you okay?” His voice was panicked and laced with concern.

  “Yes. I’m fine.” I saw his shoulders instantly relax. “You haven’t been sleeping?”

  “I’m not tired,” he says, looking in my eyes. I could see his exhaustion, eyes red, and eyelids drooping. He needed sleep, badly.

  “Come with me.” I held out my hand to him. He looked at it carefully, so as not to aggravate the scrapes and cuts, but it didn’t hurt.

  “It’s okay,” I assured him. He carefully took my hand and followed me silently. I led Landon straight to my bedroom. I wanted this. I needed this. I shut the door behind us and led him to my bed.

  “What are you doing?” he asked quietly.

  “I’m getting you some sleep.” I smiled at him. “Please lay with me.”

  “Sadie, you don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. I need to. Please just lay with me. Sleep with me,” I said.

  Smiling, Landon crawled into bed. I watched all his muscles in his arms contract as he moved. He looked absolutely delicious. Snapping out of my sudden lustfulness, I climbed in next to him. He needed sleep. I laid my head on the pillow next to him, looking deep into his eyes.

  When he said, “Come here,” I didn’t hesitate.

  Landon lay on his back pulling me into him, laying my cheek on his chest. He began drawing lazy circles around my back, and I couldn’t help but smile. This touch was so different than what I was accustomed to, and he didn’t even know it.

  “Sadie?”

  “Yeah,” I said, not moving a muscle.

  “Thank you.”

  I lifted my head to look in his eyes. “For what? If anyone should be thanked, it’s you.”

  “Just thank you for letting me hold you.” I laid my ear on his chest and began listening to his heartbeat and breaths he took. I felt at peace, calm, and … safe.

  “Thank you,” I whispered back.

  “Get some sleep.”

  The sounds and smells of Landon helped me drift off to the most peaceful sleep I had had in a long time.

  Lying in bed awake, I did not want to open my eyes. The scent of vanilla penetrated my nose, and my arms were wrapped around a very soft, warm woman. Sadie. Her head resting on my chest, feeling each breath she took, her steady heartbeat a sound I was damn happy to hear.

  I did not want this to end.

  I admit I was scared. I didn’t get scared often, but after yesterday and what I witnessed with her, I was. I didn’t know what was wrong, and something told me she didn’t want to talk about it.

 
; I had no idea how I was going to get her to talk, but I needed to know. I needed to know how to help her.

  I was also scared that she’d be pissed I slept with her last night. I knew she invited me, but I couldn’t help but think she did it out of guilt or annoyance that I kept waking her up.

  I couldn’t help but check on her every few minutes. I had to make sure she was breathing. I had to make sure she was alive; I needed her alive.

  I didn’t want to be creepy, so I just looked in on her and made sure her chest rose and fell. I then went back and sat on the couch. Then when I couldn’t stand another minute of it, I would come back and do the same routine again.

  I was completely exhausted and beat after the day we had, but there was no way I was leaving her alone.

  What if she had another sobbing attack or began hurting herself and didn’t realize it. If I could stop it, you could be damn sure I would.

  The urge to protect her was seeping from my pores, and I couldn’t control it. I wanted to take away whatever was hurting her and make her smile again.

  What could be her fault? That was what she kept screaming—that it was her fault—when I found her. I was sure whatever it was linked to the real reason she came to Georgia. Another mystery, I had yet to solve.

  When I felt Sadie begin to stir in my arms, I finally opened my eyes. The sight before me took my breath away.

  Her long hair was splayed out across the bed. She was wrapped in a white blanket, still nuzzling my chest. She looked like an angel—absolutely, stunningly beautiful.

  I willed my dick to calm the hell down. I knew it’d be the first thing she felt when she woke up. Her leg was lying right across it. But there was no luck there. She was too close and smelled too damn good.

  Tightening my grip around her, I hugged her and held her. I didn’t know how long this was going to last, but I needed to feel her.

  Catching me off guard, Sadie’s head snapped up, and she stared at me. Her eyes were glassed over as if she wasn’t fully awake yet. I felt her heartbeat skyrocket and her breathing become labored.

  Her eyes look confused and uncertain. “Good Morning,” I whispered to her, trying to gauge her reaction.

  Sadie closed her eyes and then opened them again. This time when she opened them, I saw life. “Morning,” she said and, to my surprise, put her head back on my chest.

  I thought for sure she would want to jump out of my arms, but instead I held her tighter. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  Yawning, she replied, “Good.”

  I felt her entire body tense, and I knew that was the moment she fully awoke. She immediately pulled out of my arms, and I reluctantly let her go. Sadie swung her legs to the side of the bed and stared down at the floor.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said so quietly that I barely made it out.

  “For what?” I asked, turning to my side and propping my head on my arm.

  “For making you stay with me—sleep with me.” Her voice was so quiet that she seemed shy about it.

  I moved closer to her so I could touch her arm. She didn’t look at me or flinch away. “This is exactly where I wanted to be last night. I slept great having you wrapped in my arms.”

  She still wouldn’t look at me, but began twirling her fingers and didn’t say a word. I couldn’t see her face, and it was bugging the shit out of me. “Sadie, please look at me.”

  She shook her head no.

  I crawled out of bed and kneeled on the floor in front of her, placing my hands gently on her knees. That was when I felt a warm wetness hit my hand. Shit. She was crying.

  I took my hand and gently reached up to her face. Her hair was draped around her like a curtain, but I could only feel the wetness on her face.

  “Sadie, please look at me.”

  Slowly, her sad eyes reached mine. My insides constricted, and I wanted to wipe every bit of pain from those eyes.

  “Talk to me, baby.”

  She didn’t say a word. The tears just continued to fall.

  “Sadie, please tell me what’s going on. Everything will be all right.”

  “No it won’t,” she whispered.

  “I’ll make it all right.”

  “You can’t. You barely know me.”

  Unfortunately, this was very true, and it bothered me. I wanted to know everything about Sadie. And wasn’t that a first for me.

  “I want to know you, Sadie. I want to help you.” Her eyes never left mine, but her tears were falling faster and faster.

  “Thank you for staying with me last night. You can go ahead and go now.”

  Her damn words gut me like a fish. To hell if I was going anywhere without this woman. It was about damn time she realized it. “I’m not going anywhere, Sadie.”

  “Really, I’m okay. I’m calm. I won’t do anything stupid like I did yesterday.” She wiped her eyes and began to take deep breaths, I assume to calm herself.

  Letting the idea of me leaving drop, because my ass wasn’t stepping foot out of this house, I asked, “Why were you so mad yesterday?”

  “I can’t talk about it, all right.” Her voice raised about a thousand octaves and put me a bit off balance. Then she began crying in earnest.

  “Come here.” I reached around her and pulled her to my lap. I held her just like I did yesterday, rocking her back and forth. Several loud voices came from outside the door. They seemed to be getting closer and closer.

  When the door flew open, both Sadie and I jumped. We immediately turned to look at the door. “Aunt Maggie,” Sadie whispered and crawled quickly out of my arms. She ran over to Maggie and wrapped her arms around her.

  “It’s okay, Sadie. It’s okay,” she kept telling her while stroking her hair.

  Maggie looked down at me and smiled. “I’ve got this for right now, Landon. How about you go have some coffee with Jim for a bit.”

  I nodded, saying, “Yes, ma’am,” and got up to leave. I tried to make eye contact with Sadie, but her face was buried in Maggie’s neck. I reluctantly left the room.

  Sitting with his back to me at the island, Jim sat drinking his coffee. “Hey Jim.”

  “Hey boy! Hear you had a hell of a night.”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t know what he knew, and to be completely honest, I was tired as shit.

  “Come sit and tell me all about it. Lauryn told us what she saw, but let’s hear it from you,” Jim said, scooting the barstool out with his foot.

  I grabbed a cup of coffee and began to tell Jim everything that I saw and heard last night. Every time I relived it, it got worse. It felt as if it was eating me from the inside out.

  “It sounds like you care about her, Landon.”

  “Yes sir,” I said without hesitation. My realization that I cared this much about her was hitting full force.

  “And she hasn’t told you anything?” Jim’s eyebrow shot up.

  “No sir. I don’t think she trusts me.” I bowed my head at my words, feeling the sting of them. I just wished she would trust me.

  “Trust is a very hard thing, especially when it’s been broken over and over again,” Jim said while sipping his coffee.

  “I know,” I said quietly. Jim knew what happened with Stacy and Brad. He also knew how I dealt with it.

  “I know you do. It’s a hard thing to gain back, but you being here yesterday and last night will help build it.”

  “I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

  “I know. For that, she’ll be grateful.”

  “You think? I don’t know if she wants me here.” I sounded like a freaking wimp. I shouldn’t give two shits if she didn’t want me around.

  “You have to give her time.”

  “I know.”

  Patting me on the back, he continued as he got up to refill his coffee cup. “Landon, I’m gonna give you a small insight, but Sadie will have to do the rest because I don’t know much beyond what I’m gonna tell you.”

  “Okay,” I said, q
uietly staring at him.

  “Sadie’s dad died about four years back. He was a good man—loved his kids and wife more than anything. When he passed, the entire family took it very hard. Sarah, Sadie’s mom, was pretty much bedridden with grief. Sadie spent her days trying to take care of her, when she could. Sadie was beyond devastated. Seth just wanted to escape. He joined the Marines a week after his death, and we haven’t seen much of him since.”

  I continued to stare at him, just taking all this information in.

  “I’m telling you this because Sadie was only twenty years old at the time, and her whole world collapsed at her feet.”

  “Do you think that’s why she hurt herself yesterday?”

  “I’m not sure. We haven’t had a chance to talk to her mom yet. We rushed home as soon as Lauryn called, and we wanted to know what happened before calling her.”

  “I don’t know how to help her,” I whispered.

  “You know, son, the most important thing here, is that you want to help her.”

  I did want to help her, more than anything. I wanted to erase the pain.

  I was officially sobbing into Aunt Maggie’s neck. I’d make absolutely no apologies for it. I needed it more than I realized. I felt her arms tighten around me, and her hand brushing my back lightly.

  The scent of lavender flooded my senses. I always loved the way she smelled. She must’ve bathed in the stuff because she’d smelled this way since I was a child. Her comforting way reminded me so much of my mom.

  Pulling away, I looked directly in her eyes. “You didn’t call Mom, did you?”

  She wiped the hair away from my face. “No. I wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Thank you.”

  I let go of Aunt Maggie. She reached over to the dresser and grabbed the tissue box. I grabbed a wad and started aggressively wiping my face.

  I sat on my bed and looked up to her. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear from her and I didn’t know what I wanted to say.

  The more I looked at her, the more I wanted to spill my guts to her. But I knew I couldn’t. I already had to worry about Mom, Seth, and Macy; I didn’t want to add more to my list.

  I knew that when Rob found me, he would be beyond furious, and I couldn’t risk having anyone else in the crossfire.

  Not only that, there was nothing she could do. There was nothing anyone could do. Rob was a cop—one of the ‘good guys.’ No one would believe that he liked to use me as a punching bag.