The Bullies Who Loved Me

by Mia Belle

  And my friends are busy. Caden’s volunteering at the hospital and Eric…well, I have no idea what he’s up to anymore.

  Caden thinks I overcompensate by buying expensive things, and I’m starting to believe he might be right. I’m lonely, got a hole I want to fill. But no matter how many things I buy, they don’t make me happy.

  There’s a frantic knock on the door. I call for one of the servants to answer, then I remember I gave them the night off.

  Yanking myself off the couch, I fling the door open. Eric topples inside, dropping to the floor like he’s too weak to support himself.

  I’m at his side in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

  His chest rises and falls violently as he tries to suck in oxygen. “D…drink.”

  I dash to the kitchen, grab a water bottle, and hand it to him. He guzzles it down like he hasn’t drunk in days.

  He flops down on the floor, his chest continuing to heave. What the hell is going on?

  He turns to me, the sweat dripping down his face. “Dude, did you run here?” I ask. It’s a little far from his house, but not enough to cause this much sweat.

  He shakes his head. “Ran…around town.”

  “Why?”

  He tries to sit up, only to crash back down. When I make a move to help him, he waves his hand. I didn’t notice it before, but his eyes are red. Is that from crying or all that running?

  “You plan on telling me what happened?” I ask.

  He’s not listening to me. He’s still breathing heavily, his eyes glued to the wall. They’re wide, like he sees a ghost or something. No, that wouldn’t scare him. He’s staring at the wall as if the grim reaper stands there.

  I clutch his shoulder. “Eric.”

  He’s in a daze as he continues to stare at that wall. It’s like something switched off inside him, like he completely shut down. It’s freaking me the hell out.

  I grab my phone. “I’m calling Caden. He’ll know what to do.”

  Eric’s still fascinated with the wall as I wait for Caden to get his ass here. As soon as the bell rings, I leap to my feet and swing the door open.

  “What’s the emergency, man?” he asks. “I was at the hospital—what the hell?” He dashes to Eric’s side. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “No idea. He ran around town like a maniac, was practically dead when he got here. I gave him a bottle of water and now he’s like this.”

  Caden shakes his shoulder. “Eric.” He shakes harder when our friend doesn’t respond. “Eric.” He glances up at me. “What do we do? Call his dad?”

  I pull my phone from my pocket. “Yeah, good idea.”

  I’m about to press the button, when Eric snaps out of his daze and snatches the phone from me. “Don’t call my dad. He’s…he’s at work.”

  “Dude, what the hell happened?” Caden asks.

  Eric’s still catching his breath, but the water seems to be helping. He’s still sweating like he fell into a pool. I fetch him a towel.

  We help him to the couch. The TV’s yelling as a fight scene plays out, but none of us pay it attention.

  Eric leans his back against the couch, shutting his eyes. His breathing is uneven, and Caden and I exchange a glance. He’s been shutting us out since the start of school, and I’ve been giving him space to grieve. But this is not normal.

  “Eric, tell us what’s going on. Why are you like this? Is it because of Blake?”

  He snorts. “Of course it’s Blake. It’s always fucking Blake.”

  Caden and I exchange another glance.

  “What the hell are you rambling about?” I demand.

  Caden sits forward on the chair to the left, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell us.”

  Eric thrusts his hand into his back pocket and tosses a USB flash drive onto the table. “Watch what’s on there.”

  I scoop it up and stick it into my laptop. There’s a video…of Blake? Caden and I exchange a glance before swinging our eyes to Eric.

  “What is this?” Caden asks.

  A hard swallow makes its way down Eric’s throat. “Watch it.” He sounds so weak, so defeated. I can’t take it. Caden shifts on the couch like he can’t stand this, either.

  But we need to watch this. Caden sighs before scooting over to me and clicking on the video.

  We watch. My stomach is in knots as I listen to Eric’s brother tell the truth about what happened that night at the party.

  When we’re done, Caden’s face is white and I stare at Eric. He’s slumped on the couch, still trying to catch his breath.

  Caden and I look at one another. His face is growing whiter and whiter by the second.

  All this time we thought Blake was innocent. We stood by his side, didn’t let anyone talk crap about him. And now we learn he was guilty all along?

  Eric rubs the spot between his brows. He curses Blake under his breath over and over and over again. Then he slams his back into the couch, shaking his head as he continues to mutter to himself.

  Caden sits forward, placing his hand on Eric’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

  Eric shoves his hand off. “How can it be okay? He killed someone. My perfect brother killed someone.” Tears flash in his eyes and he makes no move to rid them. I notice Caden’s eyes tear up a little, too, and honestly, I’m not that far behind. We all looked up to Blake. We all thought he was perfect. We wanted to be him.

  “He lied about everything,” Eric says, voice low. “Lied to my face. He was a piece of shit older brother.”

  Caden places his hand on his arm again. “Don’t say that. Blake made a mistake. His guilt ate him alive and that’s why he…he…” He shakes his head.

  Eric digs his fingers in this hair. “Guys, I’m losing my damn mind.”

  Now I place my hand on his arm. “Just breathe and relax. Blake tried to do the right thing, but Jackson didn’t want him to.”

  Eric shakes his head. “I know. He shouldn’t have lied to begin with.” He slumps forward. “But that’s not the only thing that bothers me.” He looks up at us. “Daphne. We’ve been making her life a living hell for no reason. For no damn reason.” He tears at his hair again. “Terrorizing someone? That’s not me. I don’t know…I just had so much anger. But it wasn’t directed at the right person. I shouldn’t blame her for what happened. Shit.” He droops forward again. “I’ll never forgive myself, guys. Never.”

  Caden and I exchange another glance. Caden was right all along. He never liked the idea of trying to get rid of Daphne. Why didn’t I listen to him? Why didn’t I stop it before it got too out of hand? Why didn’t I try to talk some sense into Eric?

  Because I was consumed with my own pain and anger, and it was easy to take it out on Daphne. She didn’t deserve it. She’s a nice girl.

  I imitate Eric, sitting forward and raking my hand through my hair. Caden rests his hands on both our shoulders, his lips pressed into a tight line, eyes filled with pain and guilt. He didn’t stop the bullying, but he didn’t contribute, either. Sure he feels guilty, but it’s not eating him up alive like it’s doing to me and Eric.

  Eric sits up. “And even if she did lie,” he says, voice still weak and broken, “what we did to her was cruel. I sent the whole damn school after her.”

  Caden swallows, looking from me to Eric. “What are we going to do about it?”

  Eric shakes his head. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do. The damage is done. There’s no taking it back.”

  Caden bobs his head slowly.

  We remain sitting where we are, not uttering a word to one another. Caden and Eric don’t leave until it’s late, and I ask my chauffer to take them home.

  I don’t sleep at all that night. Don’t think I, Caden, or Eric will for a long, long time.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Eric

  It’s after midnight when I come home. I completely forgot about picking up Phoebe from her friend’s house. And like a dumbass, I left my phone at home s
o she couldn’t call me. I told her she could always call Caden or Ryder. Maybe she figured I wasn’t with them and she didn’t want them to get curious and discover our secret.

  I’m still pissed at my brother and myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever let this go, but I need to shove it aside and focus on my sister. She needs me to be strong.

  And she can never learn the truth. She needs to see her oldest brother as this perfect being, someone she could look up to and who will give her hope.

  Dad’s slumped in his chair, a wrestling game on TV, volume maxed out. I peek into the kitchen to find it spotless. There’s some leftover spaghetti in the fridge. That’s all Phoebe knows to make. Damn it. I should have been here tonight. I shouldn’t have left her alone with the drunk.

  I find her in bed, huddled under her blankets like she’s trying to protect herself. I lift the blanket before sliding in with her.

  Her bed’s tiny for me, but that’s fine. I wrap an arm over her.

  “Where were you?” her sleepy voice asks. Sitting up on one elbow, she looks down at me. “I had to make him dinner. He threw it against the wall. Then I had to make another.”

  I lift myself on my elbow and pull her close with my other arm. “Sorry. I should have remembered to pick you up.”

  “Arielle’s mom drove me home. I told her you were coming, but you never showed up and she didn’t let me sleepover. Says Arielle’s had enough distractions.”

  I frown. Does that mean Arielle’s mom doesn’t want my sister over at their house anymore? She has more friends, but she’s the closest with Arielle. Damn it.

  “It’s fine,” Phoebe quickly says. “I’ll find somewhere else to go. The library or whatever.”

  I rest my chin on her head, hugging her tightly. “I hate that you have to live this way. A kid should have a home where she feels safe.”

  Phoebe looks into my eyes. “You’re a kid, too. You’ve given up so much to take care of me. But what about you? You’re missing out on swimming and your friends and girls…”

  I internally snort. Girls? Who’d want to go out with a guy who needs to be both a mother and a father? And who would want to deal with someone who has a drunk for a dad? And besides, I don’t have time for girls.

  Phoebe searches my eyes. “What’s wrong?” She turns on her bedside lamp. “Have you been crying?”

  “I fucking killed her.”

  My heart is still in pieces, but I push that aside and give my sister a look. “Of course not. I never cry.”

  She returns the look, but doesn’t reply. We both know I have cried. Like a fountain during Blake’s funeral. And I definitely cried at my mom’s, but I was six.

  She rolls her eyes. “Liar, but whatever. I’m going to sleep.”

  I gently clutch her arm. “Not so fast. Dad told me your school called.”

  Her mouth drops open. “What? They called? Oh my god.”

  “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

  Shaking her head, she slips to the other side and smashes her head into the pillow. I climb out of bed, walk around to the other side, and bend down. “I’m not letting this go until you tell me,” I whisper in her ear.

  Her eyes shut tight, as if she’s trying to tune me out. I toss her blanket off her bed. She doesn’t react. Next, I reach for her pillow, practically dragging her off the bed.

  She shoots up, glaring at me. “Stop.”

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “You’re not my dad.”

  I lower myself next to her. “You want that drunk finding out whatever it is? Want your school to keep calling? They might send someone. Might find out.”

  She looks away. “It won’t happen again. I just got mad, so I punched her.”

  “Punched who?”

  She shrugs. “This stupid girl in the seventh grade. She was calling Blake crazy because he killed himself. He wasn’t crazy, right?”

  I sigh, running my hand down my face. “No. He was…he was going through something.” I shut my eyes to shove the truth away. If I don’t forget about it, I’ll go insane.

  “She kept going on and on about it during lunch. She wouldn’t shut up, so I punched her. I spent the next period in the vice principal’s office. I guess he called Dad.”

  I place my hands on her shoulders. “Phoebe, you can’t get into fights at school or anywhere else. We can’t draw attention to ourselves. Dad said he’d talk to you and that probably calmed the VP down, but if you keep this up, sooner or later they’ll find out about everything and we’ll be separated. You know enough about the foster system and I don’t want us to end up there. Give me two years and I’ll get us out of this hellhole.”

  She nods slowly, tears pricking her eyes. “Sorry. She just pissed me off.”

  “I know. It sucks, but we need to protect ourselves.”

  She scoots back until she reaches the headboard. “Next time I’ll just keep quiet and take it. No matter what anyone says to me.”

  I squeeze her shoulder. “Be strong, sis.”

  “I’ll try.” She tries to give me an encouraging smile, but her mouth hardly lifts. “Can I go to sleep now?” She slides down. I pull her blanket over her, then get back in. “Fine. You can stay. Ugh, just don’t snore, okay?”

  I grab the extra pillow and gently slam it into her. “I don’t snore!”

  She rolls her eyes. “Yes, you do. Close the lamp and let me sleep.”

  She’s out cold within minutes while I’m left staring in the dark. Everything that happened these last few months washes over me. From the party, the murder, Blake’s suicide, and the bullying. I’m frozen in place as the memories of all those horrible things I said to Daphne play in my head.

  Who was that guy? Definitely not me. I don’t recognize him. Did I really do all that? Tore her homework? Threw eggs on her? Got the entire school to chase her off with pitchforks like some Salem witch or something?

  I can’t take this anymore. Just can’t.

  If I’m all messed up about it, I can’t imagine how she must feel.

  My hands curl into fists on the bed. “Damn it, Blake,” I mutter. “What have you done to me?”

  Chapter Twenty

  Daphne

  “Hey, Pigget, smile!”

  My wet hair slaps my cheek as I whirl around in the direction of the voice. Avery stands in her underwear in front of my shower stall in the girls’ locker room, phone raised toward me. The rest of the girls are either wearing their underwear, or are fully dressed after their showers.

  I hate when I don’t have gym last period. I hate taking showers in school. And now Avery and her gang have found a new way to torment me.

  I tug the towel closer to my body, but it’s tiny and hardly covers what it needs to. The surrounding girls giggle as Avery angles her phone and snaps a photo.

  I scan my body to make sure my private areas are covered, then push through the girls to get to my gym locker. A wet trail follows me.

  I yank the locker door, trying to block out the clicks of the phone and the laughing crowd. When the locker springs open, I reach inside to grab my clothing.

  My hand closes around air. No, this cannot be happening.

  I poke my head inside to make sure my worst nightmare hasn’t come true. Tears lurk under my eyelids as the reality dawns on me.

  My clothes aren’t there.

  Someone stole them.

  Please let this be a nightmare.

  “Pigget, did you lose something?”

  Screw her. Screw her. Screw her.

  Something hard hits my back. I look down at the pile of plastic piggies, like rubber ducks except they’re pigs.

  Avery has a wicked look in her eyes as she lifts her phone and presses a button. The girls laugh and point. Like I’m a caged animal in a circus act.

  My eyes tingle, but I hold the tears at bay. As mortifying as this is, I won’t give these bitches another reason to mock me.

  I push past them, bolting ou
t of the locker room and running…I don’t really know where. Maybe to the lost and found or the nurse. She has spare clothes, right? I’ll tell her I lost mine or they got dirty or something.

  The hallway is bursting with kids headed to lunch or their next class. I try to tune out their chuckles and pointing fingers. I know some kids are peeking at the exposed areas on my body, but I can’t think about that right now. I need to find some clothes.

  Something wide and long wraps around me before I’m hurled into the nearby bathroom.

  “Get the hell out,” a voice shouts at the girls chatting by the mirror. When I look up, I find Eric Alexander standing there. Caden’s with him, eyes on mine. They don’t drift down my body.

  Neither do Eric’s. He’s clutching a sheet or huge towel tightly around me, like he’s worried it’ll unwrap on its own.

  His hands are strong, so strong that it makes my heart leap into my stomach. I’m naked under here, and alone in the bathroom with my number one tormenter and his friend.

  I try to pull free, but he’s got a strong hold as he stares into my eyes. His are so blue, and I notice something I haven’t noticed before. They’re soft, not hard like usual. He looks like a totally different person.

  My eyes dart to Caden, who has a relaxed expression on his face, though there’s some anger mixed in. Eric’s angry, too, but I’m not sure who that anger is directed to. Both guys glare at the door.

  I continue trying to pull free, but Eric won’t relent.

  Caden steps forward. “We’re not going to hurt you, Daphne. We want to help.”

  I blink at him. Help? Eric’s eyes bore into mine, like he’s sending me some kind of message. He nods reassuringly. “Those bitches have lost their damn minds.”

  Bitches? Last I check, Avery, Eric, and his friends were working together to try to get rid of me. What’s going on?

  There’s a knock on the door. “It’s Ryder.”

  Caden opens the door to reveal his friend standing there with a garbage bag. He steps inside, then Caden locks it.

  Now I’m trapped in the bathroom with three guys…three guys who have been making my life a living hell.