The Bullies Who Loved Me

by Mia Belle

  Ryder and Caden, who are at my locker, also notice. They look really concerned. I hope everything went well last night, when he told his sister the truth about Blake.

  He’s bent forward like he’s carrying an elephant on his back. He slowly drags himself over to us. The other kids watch him curiously. He doesn’t look much like a King right now.

  “Hey,” Caden says when he reaches us. “Everything okay?”

  He nods.

  “How was telling your sister?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. He doesn’t say anything as he slides a few lockers over to his. He opens it, dumping his school stuff inside.

  “She couldn’t sleep and neither could I,” he says in a hollow voice. “I stayed with her all night, but that didn’t help. I don’t think she’ll ever get over this.” He rubs the space between his eyebrows. “She didn’t want to go to school today, but I forced her. Figured it’s better for her to be around her friends right now.”

  The others and I nod in understanding. I can’t imagine what he’s going through and I feel so bad for him. I don’t see him as that jerk who bullied me, but as a guy who’s trying to keep his head above water.

  “It’ll be okay,” Caden says with an encouraging smile. “She’ll be okay.”

  Eric doesn’t look so sure.

  “Did you tell your dad?” Ryder asks.

  Eric shakes his head, sighing. “No. I guess he’ll find out when the rest of the world does. I don’t…” He looks away. “We don’t talk much. He’s always working and everything.” He turns back to his locker, pretending to rummage inside.

  Caden and Ryder exchange a look like they don’t know how to help him. I think just being there for him is enough. I’m not his friend—not really—and don’t know how I feel about him. I just know I kind of want to be there for him, too. He’s so…damaged. Even after everything he did to me, I want to help him. I’ll probably still have my wall up, though.

  Ryder claps him on the back. “If you guys need somewhere to hang out or have fun or whatever, my door is always open. Phoebe still likes making those projects, right? She made a model of the Globe Theater last year.”

  Eric twists his mouth. “It’s destroyed. She threw her pillow at it after I told her about the video.”

  “Oh. The offer still stands.”

  “Thanks, but we’ll be okay. I think she’d rather spend time with her friends than us.”

  Ryder chuckles. “You kidding? She used to come over because she had a crush on me and Caden.”

  Caden turns to him, eyes wide. “What?”

  “You didn’t know? It was so obvious how she followed Eric everywhere he went just so she’d hang out with us.” He frowns. “Man, you suck when it comes to girls. No wonder you’ve never had a girlfriend.”

  Caden doesn’t say anything, his eyes flitting to mine for an instant before focusing on the walls. I think back to what he told me the other day, something about a fantasy. I’m curious what it is, but I don’t know him, and it’s not my business.

  “Anyway, she’s over her crush. Probably likes some guys her own age, huh?” Ryder says.

  Eric shrugs. “I’m not sure she cares about that sort of thing now.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  He hesitates, as if he didn’t mean for it to slip out. “Nothing. I guess we’re still not over Blake’s death.” He shakes his head. “Can we talk about something else?”

  Caden gives him a small, hopeful smile. “Any chance you changed your mind about swimming? We miss you. The guys on the team miss you. The whole school misses you.”

  Eric slams his locker. “I told you to quit bugging me about that.” He stalks down the hall to his first class.

  Ryder and Caden look at one another. Caden’s shoulders slump. “I’m just trying to help him be happy. And the only thing that makes him happy is swimming.”

  Ryder rests his hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s best we don’t mention swimming again. He probably misses it like hell, but can’t bring himself to rejoin.”

  Caden nods.

  Ryder turns to me. “We have practice after school. Come watch us.”

  “Me? There are so many other kids…”

  He looks behind me, to where a group of kids is watching us. They still can’t believe the Kings are having a decent conversion with me and not kicking me to the curb. “Yeah, you,” Ryder says. “You’re way cooler than any other kid here. Except for me.” He pats his perfectly styled hair in place, laughing. “But yeah, come.”

  I’m about to say something, but he holds up his hand. “No excuses. Your mom hired more workers at the diner, right? She doesn’t need you. So you’re coming.”

  I give him a look, to which he gives me a wide smile.

  “Fine. Only because I’m curious.”

  He winks. “And you want to check out my abs.”

  Caden rolls his eyes.

  Ryder frowns at him. “I’m sure she wants to check out your abs, too, dude.”

  “Enough with the abs,” I say. “I said I’ll be there, okay?”

  He slings his arm over my shoulder, directing me to my first class. I don’t share it with any of the Kings, but with Avery and her friends. As soon as she spots Ryder and Caden at the doorway, Ryder’s arm over me, her nostrils flare.

  She shoots to her feet, marching over to us, balancing on high heels. Her friends hurry to catch up to her.

  She tears Ryder’s arm off me, shoving me to the wall. My back hits it so strongly the wind is knocked out of me, and my shoulder stings. “Get your hands off my boyfriend, slut,” she snarls.

  Ryder pulls me to his side, staring at my face. “You okay?” He’s pretending she’s not even here? Caden comes to stand close to me, also assessing me for damage.

  “Yeah,” I tell him, massaging my shoulder. I give Caden a reassuring smile. Why is he so worried about me? Why does he…care so much? Why do any of the Kings care so much?

  Avery glares at us, but Ryder doesn’t acknowledge her. I feel her eyes searing through mine. Not that I’m scared of her. I just hate her drama.

  I glare back at her. “No one stole your boyfriend. We’re just friends.”

  Her nostrils flare again. “Ryder isn’t just friends with girls, stupid bitch.” She reaches for him, trying to yank him close to her, but he doesn’t move. It’s like he’s all muscle.

  She huffs and puffs, but he still doesn’t budge. He thrusts her hands off him, his focus on me. “We’ll see you later?”

  I nod. He casts Avery a hard look before whipping around and heading down the hall. Caden stays behind, eyes on Avery.

  “If you touch Daphne, we’ll kill you,” he says.

  She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “Whatever.”

  He holds her gaze, sending her a warning. I’ve never seen Caden so pissed before. He never looked at me that way when his friends hated me. Why is he acting like that now? I’m a nobody. Avery is popular. She’s Ryder’s girlfriend...unless they broke up?

  Avery marches back to class, dropping down on her seat. Her fans surround her, bending close to whisper. Probably about me.

  Caden watches them for a little bit before turning to me. He smiles that sweet smile. “See you.” He waves before taking off.

  I enter the classroom and review my notes until the teacher comes. It’s hard to concentrate in class because I’m confused. Why would Ryder ignore his girlfriend? Why does he seem to care more about my well-being than hers? Is it still the guilt? How much longer until the guys don’t feel guilty anymore?

  And Caden…the way he threatened Avery…

  It’s nothing. It means nothing. They’re just watching over me because of their conscience, nothing else. It’s not like they really care about me.

  ***

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Ryder stops me at the school doors. The bell rang five minutes ago, and the halls are pretty empty, except for the kids who have after school activities. I catch Avery and her friends
rushing off to cheerleading practice. Avery turns to watch us, waiting for her boyfriend to notice her, but he doesn’t. She stomps away.

  Ryder flings his arm over my shoulder. “You promised you’d come to swim practice. Please?”

  “Okay. Where’s Caden and Eric?”

  He shrugs. “Caden’s already there. Eric left. I came to fetch you because I knew you wouldn’t come.”

  I wave my hand. “You don’t have to include me in your stuff anymore. We don’t have to pretend to do this.”

  He bangs his head against the locker. “Daphne, we already told you we’re not pretending. We want to hang out with you. I want you to come to practice.”

  I search his eyes. They seem sincere. “Why? I’m a nobody. Everyone hates me. Why waste your time?”

  His eyes bug out. “Waste time? With someone like you? Never.” He turns toward the pool room.

  I slide out from under his arm, forcing him to stop and turn around. “I just don’t get it,” I say. “Why would you want me around?”

  He throws his hands up. “Would it kill you to believe I like hanging out with you? So do the other guys. There’s no bullshit with you. You’re real.”

  “Avery—”

  “Is a piece of shit. She has no heart, unlike you. You wear yours on your sleeve and you’re not embarrassed to show the world your true self.”

  “She’s your girlfriend,” I say. “I’m not scared of her, but I’d rather not have her breathing down my neck. Especially because we’re just friends.”

  He grits his teeth. “She’s not my girlfriend. And she can breathe down however many necks she wants. No one tells the Kings of Leighton High what to do or who to hang out with. And no one threatens you.”

  I frown.

  “What?” he asks.

  “I just don’t know what you want from me. It doesn’t make sense for the Kings to hang out with a loser like me.”

  “Don’t you dare call yourself a loser,” he says. He’s about to say something else, when his phone beeps. “Crap. Caden texted that Coach is looking for me. If I don’t get to practice on time, I’ll warm the bench.” He presses his palms together, pleading. “Please, please come watch me practice.”

  I might not know exactly what his true intentions are, but I’m not going to ignore his plea. And if this is a joke and they pull some kind of shit on me, I’m done with this school and all the people in it.

  I head toward the pool room and he beams, rushing to catch up to me. He’s much taller than me and it doesn’t take long for his pace to match mine.

  “Thanks,” he says once we’re standing before the door. “For giving us a second chance.” He opens the door and we walk inside.

  The rest of the team is already here, waiting for their teammate to get ready in the locker room. Caden, wearing nothing but a swimsuit and a bathing cap, waves to me. I wave back as I make my way up the bleachers. There are many other girls here, each cheering the guys on. Most of them call Caden and Ryder’s names.

  Once Ryder is ready, they start practicing. They’re doing a relay race. Ryder is the fastest on the team, so he’ll be the anchor. Blake used to be number one, then Eric. Now that neither of them is here, Ryder has risen to the occasion. Everyone on the team is a spectacular athlete, but no one was as talented as Blake. His younger brother came really close.

  “Go Ryder!” a girl a few seats to my left yells, holding up a sign. She glares at me when I look at her.

  Many others are calling his name, which makes his swimming intensify. It’s like he wants to impress them.

  Caden’s focused on his swimming as well, but he seems to like it more as a hobby. Ryder is very serious about the sport. Maybe he wants to go pro like Blake wanted. And Eric, when he was still on the team. It sucks that he’s not here, but I understand why he quit.

  Ryder finishes the relay, beating his record time. His arms shoot in the air and he waves them as the rest of the team jump on him, giving him hugs.

  The girl to my left bolts from her spot and rushes down the bleachers until she’s standing at the edge of the pool, where the team is still cheering.

  “You did so well, Ryder! You’re amazing.”

  “Thanks.” He gives her a grateful smile before his eyes search for me. When they spot me, he waves enthusiastically. I wave back, a smile tugging my lips. I knew he liked to swim, but I never knew just how much he loves it. It’s like his world.

  Coach shoos the girl away, and she scampers back to her seat. Coach tells them where they need to improve and practice continues. I watch it all, how much fun Caden has, how much this means to Ryder. The loss of their friend is evident on their faces, but I bet they’re swimming for Eric. And for Blake, too.

  When practice is over, I meet the guys outside. Both are showered and smell like soap and guy. I’ve never been so close to a guy before and had no idea they could smell so…good.

  “What are you staring at?” Ryder asks, patting his hair in place. Even when it’s wet, it manages to sit perfectly on his head.

  Caden’s dark red hair is messy, but like usual, it looks good on him.

  “Nothing,” I say. “I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  I turn to leave, but Ryder gently takes hold of my hand. “Grab a bite with us?”

  “I can’t. Mom’s expecting me home for dinner.”

  Ryder’s face falls. “Oh, okay.” He pushes the disappointment away, replacing it with a smile. “Guess it’s just you and me, man.” He turns to me. “Can we walk you home?”

  I want to tell them I’m perfectly fine walking by myself, but something stops me. It’s like my brain is trying to tell me not to part with them for the day. Like it wants us to hang out some more.

  Is that crazy? These guys are responsible for making my life a living hell. So what if Ryder helped Mom with the diner? So what if I like texting Caden? So what if Eric is torn up over his brother’s death? These guys are jerks.

  Except…they’re not. I was so sure Ryder was going to pull some shit at the pool today, but he didn’t. He looked like he really wanted me there, as if it made his swimming better for some weird reason. And the others seem to really like having me around…

  “Okay,” I tell them.

  We set off toward my house. Ryder walks on my right, Caden on my left. Caden’s hand is so close to mine that if I would move a centimeter, our fingers would touch.

  Ryder’s talking about swimming and how excited he is for their next meet. I never knew how passionate he was about this sport. Everyone at school knew Blake loved it, but I see now that Ryder loves it just as much—maybe even more. He’s not on Blake’s level in terms of skill or talent, but he’s got heart and drive.

  He stops talking. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I’m just surprised at how much you love swimming.”

  He laughs awkwardly. “Was I talking about it too much?”

  “Understatement,” Caden mutters.

  “No,” I tell Ryder. “You should talk about what you love. It makes you happy and the other people around you happy, too.” I shrug. “That’s what my dad always tells me.”

  Ryder’s quiet as he thinks it over. “Yeah, well not everyone approves of my passion for swimming,” he mutters so quietly I’m not sure I heard him right.

  “What?”

  “Never mind. It’s nothing.” He changes the subject to something funny that happened in the cafeteria, but I’m not listening to him. He shut down for some reason. He came alive when he spoke about swimming, but now the light has left him.

  Caden doesn’t seem to notice or care, or maybe he knows the reason for the change in his friend’s attitude.

  We stop before my house. “Thanks for walking me home. It wasn’t needed, but I appreciate it.”

  Ryder salutes. “Anything for you. Good night, Daphne.”

  Caden wishes me a good night, too, before the guys leave. I watch them go, wondering if they’re talking about me. Caden turns around as if
he feels my eyes on them. Smiling, he waves.

  I wave back before forcing my legs to take me into the house. As soon as I shut the door, I find Mom standing there with her hands resting on her stomach and her chin raised to the ceiling. They drop to meet mine. “Oh, hi sweetie.”

  “Where you spying on me?”

  She laughs lightly. “Of course not.”

  I tap my shoe, giving her a look like I don’t believe her. “Oh my god. You were.” I roll my eyes. “None of them are my boyfriend or will ever be.”

  She follows me as I dump my backpack on the kitchen chair. “But they’re such nice boys. You should have asked them to stay for dinner.”

  “Mom.”

  She holds up her hands. “Is it too much to want to see you happy? Those boys walk you home nearly every day.”

  Yeah, because they feel guilty. But I’d never tell her that.

  After grabbing a banana, I slump down on a chair. “We’re just friends. They walked me home because they were headed in that direction, anyway,” I lie. I just don’t want to get her hopes up. Because the Kings will ditch me soon. Once they’re over their guilt, they won’t think about me again. I’m just following along, keeping my guard up until it happens.

  Mom sighs. “Okay. I made your favorite for dinner. Mashed potatoes and sesame chicken. Oh, and I bought this.”

  She grabs a DVD from her bag, handing it to me. It’s one of those workout DVDs. She’s really being serious about this.

  “Maybe we can try it this weekend,” she suggests.

  “Sure. I’d love to. Is Dad still at work?”

  “Yes, he’ll be home soon. He’s trying really hard to keep a family together. Both parents are drunk and there are six kids who need a home. Your dad hates separating siblings, but sometimes he has no choice. He’s really trying.”

  That’s my dad. Caring about other people. Mom told me I get that from him, but I think it’s inherited from both parents. Mom’s always striving to make her customers happy.

  “How are the new workers?” I ask her as we set the table for dinner.

  Her eyes shine. “They’re perfect. The diner was so busy today, it’s a wonder how I’m not dead tired. Oh, sweetie. I feel like my dreams are finally coming true.” Tears flash in her eyes. “It took a lot of hard work and now…” She continues talking, but I’m not listening. This is all because of Ryder. If not for him, we’d still be struggling. People keep coming back for the food and the environment. This is what she wanted. And I’m so happy for her.