Positively Yours

by Amanda Hearty

  ‘This penthouse comes furnished, and as you can see the owner has very expensive taste! It also boasts its own private lift, and access to the complex gym.’

  This was music to Ethan’s super-healthy ears. ‘There’s a gym in this place?’

  ‘Yes, for residents only. This complex is very exclusive, as you can tell by the rental cost, but it is high-spec and at the cutting edge in design.’

  The place had everything Ethan could dream of. He knew he could live very happily here for a year.

  ‘Now, let me show you the bedroom. No shoes allowed in here, though. The all-cream room has a very expensive carpet.’

  ‘OK, that’s it,’ said Grace to Ethan.

  ‘What?’ he asked as he bent down to take off his loafers.

  ‘This place isn’t suitable. It’s not for us,’ Grace replied.

  ‘What are you talking about, Gracie? It’s beautiful! Look at the views, and the furniture.’

  ‘It only has one bedroom. And that bedroom is totally unlivable in, it’s all cream. God, who can keep such a place so pristine?’ Grace asked.

  Ethan looked at his wife, embarrassed that she was talking down the penthouse in front of the eager estate agent.

  ‘Our house back home is pristine. And we never even use the other bedrooms.’

  ‘Well, that was different,’ Grace said. ‘Things are different.’

  Ethan turned to the estate agent. ‘Could you give us a few minutes, please?’ he asked her.

  The girl nodded and walked into the living room. Grace opened the balcony door, she needed fresh air. Ethan followed her outside.

  ‘We can’t live here,’ she said with her back to him. Her long red hair was blowing in the wind. Grace pushed it back, but it just kept flapping across her eyes.

  Ethan lent forward and brushed her hair back. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked, as she touched his hand.

  Grace felt so sick. He was her husband, it was his baby just as much as it was hers. Yet, as she tried to get up the courage to tell him about it, she felt like she was the one responsible for the unplanned pregnancy, that it was her fault. Finally she spoke.

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  Ethan let go of her hand.

  Grace watched him. He was looking at her as if she had just spoken Japanese. He didn’t seem to understand what she was saying.

  ‘What did you say?’ he said, perplexed.

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  Ethan looked at her tummy, then drew his blue eyes up-wards to look at her face.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ he said, running his hands through his blond hair. ‘I thought you were on the pill.’

  ‘I was,’ she replied. ‘I still am!’ she laughed.

  He didn’t laugh with her.

  ‘I still don’t understand how all this has happened, myself. But either way it’s true. I’m due in seven months.’

  Apart from the wind blowing and the rattling of the wooden balcony furniture there wasn’t a sound.

  Ethan was not one to be stuck for words, but as Grace looked at her husband she could see he didn’t know what to say. Grace turned away, she was frightened of what he would tell her. She peered over the edge of the iron rail. As she looked down, all around she could see the city light up. From Ringsend to the docks she watched the city she had grown up in come alive. Watching it all from this height would usually have made her feel on top of the world, but she was numb. The sounds of the city were drowned out by the loud beat of her heart. She waited for Ethan to speak, but he didn’t. The estate agent broke the silence.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said as she walked out on to the balcony, ‘but I need to get back to the office. If you would like more time to look around I could show it to you again tomorrow. Maybe sometime in the morning?’

  As the girl went to open her diary and check her schedule Grace leant into Ethan. She could smell his Hugo Boss aftershave. She could see the small blond hairs on his neck standing up on end.

  ‘I know this is a huge shock,’ she whispered. ‘We can talk properly when we get back to our hotel, but for now just tell her we’re not interested. I know you like the apartment, but we have different needs now, and a bedroom for the baby is one! And all these expensive cream carpets would be destroyed by a baby. No, please just tell her it’s not for us.’

  Grace couldn’t believe she was already talking about nurseries and baby mess, but Ethan had to understand this place was a bachelor pad, not a family home. Ethan took a deep breath, turned to the eager estate agent and explained that it wasn’t what they needed.

  ‘It might be what we want, but unfortunately it’s not what we need now,’ he said in a voice that didn’t even sound like his.

  His words confirmed how Grace knew he would feel: shocked, upset and a little put out. The lift ride down to the car park was a nightmare. The agent seemed oblivious to the fact that both Ethan and Grace were a whole lot paler coming down than they had been going up. As she rattled on about property prices, availability and rent flexibility Grace zoned out and just watched Ethan. He was politely nodding, but she could see sweat rolling down the back of his neck.

  Finally they got out of the lift and walked alone to their car. Grace sat in the front, and waited until she saw the estate agent drive off. She then turned to Ethan, who with a heavy sigh switched the car engine on. Grace reached across the car and hugged him.

  ‘It will be OK. And don’t worry, we’ll find an even nicer place to live,’ she said, trying to lighten the mood.

  ‘I just never saw kids in our future,’ he finally said. ‘I know nothing is ever set in stone, but, well, I thought we both wanted other things from life? Babies, diapers and saving for college fees wasn’t something I was planning for.’

  ‘Same here,’ Grace admitted.

  ‘I like our life. I don’t want it all to change,’ Ethan replied quietly.

  ‘Me neither,’ said Grace, although she already knew their life was drastically changing – and she’d only found out she was pregnant three hours before.

  ‘This feels unreal,’ he said.

  ‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘I couldn’t even admit to you over the last few days that I thought I might be pregnant. I didn’t want it to be true, and I thought saying it out loud might make it so. I feel my body has betrayed me: it got pregnant without my consent.’

  Ethan smiled. Grace hadn’t meant it to be funny.

  ‘I just can’t believe I’ve been walking around, travelling, drinking, eating God knows what, and all this time I was pregnant. I just can’t get my head around it,’ admitted Grace.

  ‘Well, I suppose it does explain why you’ve been so tired and emotional,’ said Ethan. ‘I mean, when you began crying the last time you used TiVo I should have guessed something was up. It wasn’t America you were sad to say goodbye to, it was the baby inside that was making you an emotional wreck.’

  Grace felt a little put out at being called a wreck, but was so glad Ethan was talking, and making light of their unexpected news.

  ‘I’m sorry. If I hadn’t eaten that flipping sushi, I would never have got us into this mess.’

  ‘It’s not a mess,’ he said. ‘Most people can’t wait to get pregnant. It’s just I didn’t really see us as parents. Not now, anyway.’

  ‘I know,’ agreed Grace.

  As Ethan began asking her questions about how she felt, how the baby was, and when the next doctor’s appointment would be, Grace knew he was trying to be as interested as he could, but she could see in his eyes he was upset. It was a huge shock for him.

  ‘What time is it?’ he asked, after they’d been sitting in the car outside their hotel for over an hour.

  ‘It’s almost 7 p.m.,’ replied Grace.

  ‘I’m supposed to be taking some new clients for dinner in a place called Chapter One tonight. I’ll have to cancel, or ask someone else to take them,’ Ethan said as he went to get his new Irish mobile phone.

  ‘No,’ Grace said, putting her hand on his arm. �
�We’ve talked about this enough today. And I’m sure you could do with a drink. You go out.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ he asked, surprised. ‘Do you feel well enough to be on your own?’

  ‘I’ve survived ten weeks of pregnancy without even knowing it, I’m sure I’ll be fine for a few more hours! And to be honest I need to call into mum before she explodes with curiosity. She’ll die when she hears the news.’

  Ethan leant across the car and kissed Grace. ‘I’m sorry for not being more excited myself. It’s just a lot to take in. It’s going to change everything.’

  The last few weeks he had been so enthusiastic about his new job, new surroundings, all the new people. His big blue eyes had been sparkling, but as Grace looked into them now they just seemed lifeless and sad.

  ‘I know,’ she said, worried about what lay ahead of them.

  ‘OK. I had better go,’ Ethan said, giving her a hug before getting out of the car.

  As he walked away Grace jumped into the driver’s seat and turned the engine on. Suddenly Ethan knocked at the window. She rolled the glass down. Ethan stretched his hand through the window and placed it on Grace’s stomach.

  ‘Our child,’ he said seriously.

  He wasn’t happy or sad, just pragmatic. He then turned around and headed off into town, leaving Grace sitting there.

  This is going to take us some time to get used to, thought Grace, as she started the car and headed to St Joseph’s Road.

  ‘I’m pregnant, Mum. You’re finally going to become a granny.’

  That was all Patsy Slattery needed to hear. After almost squeezing Grace to death, she pushed her aside, and began to run across the road.

  ‘Dolores!’ she shouted as she ran up her neighbour’s path. ‘I was right. Grace is pregnant! My prayers have been answered!’

  Grace stood horrified as her mum literally called door to door on their road telling all the neighbours and friends. Grace tried to stop her, or at least slow her down, but nothing could come between Patsy and the news she had been dying to hear and tell people for years.

  It’s going to be a long pregnancy, thought Grace as she went back into her home and got herself a cup of tea. Whether she liked it or not she was pregnant, and now the whole world was beginning to find out, too. Grace’s stomach was flipping, she was so nervous of what lay ahead. But as Patsy finally came back into the house and began ringing relatives, Grace knew no matter how she or Ethan felt, there was at least one person who was over the moon at the news. Granny Slattery was a very happy woman.

  23

  ‘WOULD YOU LIKE a drink?’ asked the young waiter.

  Beth Prendergast studied the drinks list. She would have loved an extra-large glass of white wine, but unfortunately alcohol was off the menu for her.

  ‘Just a glass of sparkling water, please,’ she replied.

  She sat at the best table in Peploe’s, waiting for Tom to arrive. It was Friday night, and after avoiding him all week, Beth had finally suggested they spend time together, and proposed a night in so they could catch up and talk. But he had insisted on a meal out in one of his favourite haunts. It wasn’t the ideal venue, and Beth had been debating all day whether tonight would be the right time to tell Tom that she was pregnant. She was so nervous about it. She had no idea how he would react, but even though she had been avoiding this conversation she knew she had to tell him. She was seven weeks pregnant, and he had to know the truth. It was going to be a huge shock for him, but she hoped that, like herself, once the news sunk in he might start to get a little excited about it all.

  Suddenly Tom walked into the restaurant. Beth saw women stare in his direction. His looks and confidence were for ever attracting the opposite sex. As she watched him stop to chat to a well-known businessman Beth said a silent prayer that tonight would go OK.

  She smoothed back her blonde hair and took a sip of the cold refreshing water. Tom made his way to the table and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. The smell of his aftershave suddenly seemed too powerful for Beth. Certain smells had been affecting her recently, and his expensive cologne was making her retch. As he sat down she tried to ignore the sick feeling in her stomach.

  ‘So how are you? You’ve been avoiding me,’ Tom joked, as he glanced at the wine menu and signalled for the waiter. Tom was a good client of the restaurant, and the staff were at his beck and call. He ordered an expensive bottle of Merlot. Beth noticed he didn’t even ask her if Merlot was what she felt like. He always took charge, and normally Beth felt happy to let him do so. She was used to living alone, and having to make most decisions on her own, but for some reason as he ordered the wine and more water she didn’t feel the usual relief, but was slightly angry at his assumption that he always knew best. But then, as he complimented her on how she looked and asked how work was, her irritation faded and she got lost in conversation. As they chatted and ordered dinner Beth almost forgot that this was not just a normal night. That tonight was the night she needed to tell him about the baby. Their baby.

  ‘You haven’t drunk any of the wine.’ Tom finally noticed. ‘Do you not like it?’ he asked, surprised.

  Beth put down her knife and fork and knew this was the time to come clean.

  ‘I can’t drink tonight,’ she said, looking right into his green eyes.

  ‘Why?’ he asked, a little put out. ‘Do you need to work tomorrow?’

  ‘No, it’s not that. I actually have some news,’ she said, almost holding her breath. ‘Something big. I’ve been meaning to tell it to you for a while.’

  ‘Christ,’ Tom said, putting down his oversized wine glass. ‘Don’t say you’re quitting your job.’

  Beth felt her body tense. Why did he think everything was to do with work?

  ‘No, I’m not leaving Burlington, you’ll be glad to hear.’

  ‘Well then, if it’s not a work problem, what could possibly be this important?’ Tom said, getting impatient.

  ‘There is more to life than work, you know,’ she replied, trying to lighten the mood. But Tom did not look impressed.

  ‘What is it you want to tell me?’

  He’d always been a straight-talking man, and now was no different.

  Beth put her hand on top of his.

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  There was utter silence. Beth and Tom stared at each other, and time seemed to stand still. In the distance she heard someone open a bottle of champagne, and she caught a man at a nearby table complaining that his potato gratin was overdone. She could hear noises all around the restaurant, but at their table there wasn’t even the sound of a pin dropping.

  ‘What did you say?’ said Tom eventually. His tanned face suddenly looked a good bit paler.

  ‘I’m pregnant. Seven weeks pregnant.’

  Tom broke eye contact with Beth and gazed into the distance. The look on his face was one of utter bewilderment.

  ‘How is this possible?’ he whispered.

  It wasn’t an actual question, more an expression of shock. Suddenly he looked right at Beth.

  ‘Is it definitely mine?’

  Beth gasped. She felt her heart thump as she looked at the man she had loved and been faithful to for over a year.

  ‘How dare you?’ she managed to reply, fighting back tears. ‘How dare you even suggest that? This might be shocking news, but don’t insult me with that question. You know what kind of person I am, and you know I would never cheat on you, or anyone.’

  Beth couldn’t believe how this conversation had gone. She’d known telling Tom the news would be hard, but she’d never imagined the man she was loyal to would suggest she’d slept around. She was crushed, but more than anything she was annoyed.

  ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, it’s just that this is a complete shock to me,’ said Tom, taking a sip of wine. ‘I didn’t mean it.’

  Beth noticed his hand was shaking. She had never seen the strong and powerful Tom Maloney so unnerved. She took a deep breath and decided to try and forget that he ha
d suggested the baby wasn’t his. They were in the middle of a very packed popular restaurant. Now wasn’t the time for a big argument. They just had to sit down and talk about the baby.

  ‘OK, I know this is a big shock. I still can’t believe it, either. But it’s true I’m pregnant, and you are the father.’

  Tom suddenly looked around at the nearby tables.

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ he said. ‘God knows who might hear you.’

  Beth looked around, but recognized no one.

  ‘I know it’s not what we planned, and most people don’t even know we are a couple, let alone soon to be parents! But somehow I’m pregnant, and I’ll be showing in another few weeks. This is big news, and I suppose eventually people will find out. We’ll just have to get used to it.’

  ‘So you plan to go ahead with all of this?’ he asked.

  All of this? Beth didn’t know what he meant. She looked at him questioningly.

  ‘I mean there are other options, you know. We should seriously think about them before we go ahead with telling people.’

  Other options? Suddenly Beth knew exactly what he meant. Abortion. The thought made her freeze. He couldn’t be serious. But suddenly Tom’s mood changed, and he began enthusiastically telling her about a friend of his who got caught out while having an affair, but had taken care of it after a weekend trip to the UK. Beth felt a stranger was speaking, not the man she loved.

  ‘But we’re not having an affair, so why would we need to do that?’ Beth asked, her voice unsteady but loud. She was furious.

  ‘It’s just, you know, I never wanted this. I’ve done the whole babies and nappies and late nights before. I don’t want to do it again. You’ve always known that.’

  ‘It’s not like I secretly planned this. We got pregnant by accident. It happens.’

  Tom said nothing. Beth looked at the two uneaten plates of food.

  ‘Trust me,’ said Beth, her voice softening. ‘It’s been a huge shock for me, too. I haven’t been able to think, eat or sleep since I found out. But we just have to deal with it.’

  ‘We don’t. This thing can be taken care of.’