Room for Recovery

by D. J. Jamison

  The phone chimed.

  It only took me three years. You must be charming.

  Beau laughed before responding.

  Beau James: Look out. In two years, you’re going to add me on Snapchat.

  Wade Ritter: My Magic 8 Ball says that future is not likely.

  Beau James: What can I say, I like to aim for the stars.

  Wade Ritter: You’re a dork. I gotta run. See you tomorrow morning?

  Beau James: Yeah, sure. Thanks.

  Chapter 8

  Wade accepted his latest essay from Ms. Carrow, or as she was called behind her back, the crow. She dressed in far too much black for her sallow complexion, and her hair — not black, but mousy brown — was fine and dry and tended to stick out in odd directions, evoking the image of feathers.

  “Thanks,” he mumbled.

  “Don’t thank me yet,” she said dryly before moving on.

  This essay wouldn’t have a major effect on his overall grade, but his heart still lurched at the bright red D+ at the top of his paper.

  His hand tightened involuntarily, crinkling the paper, and the neighboring seniors — who’d been juniors last year, the first time he’d taken this class — looked over with interest. For the first time in his life, Wade felt dumb. Every bad grade he’d received before with a sort of disinterest because he knew that the grade reflected his effort.

  But not this time. This time, he’d done the work — and to his dismay, he hadn’t gotten the easy A he’d expected. It looked like he’d greatly overestimated his ability to write well. Grades used to come easy to him, but after so many years of fucking off, he must have missed a few things.

  If he couldn’t do better on a simple essay, he was screwed on his term paper. His mom had been right, he should have done something more to figure out where he’d gone wrong the first time. He’d never taken the time to rewrite the paper. Instead, he’d rescued Beau and trusted that he could do better on the next assignment.

  “How bad is it?” Anna asked, leaning toward him from her desk at his left side. Her long dark hair swung forward, bringing the scent of apple blossoms with it. Anna always smelled of nice, fruity things that made him hungry.

  “It’s fine,” he said, flipping the paper over before she could see. If Anna thought he was having a problem with his grades, she’d start crooning with pity and end up petting him like he was a cat.

  “You can ask for help if you need it,” she said.

  “Didn’t I just say it was fine? Besides, my mom made me get a tutor, so I’ll have plenty of help whether I need it or not.”

  “Okay,” she said, “sorry if I was nosy.”

  He forced himself to use a softer tone. “I know you just care, but I’m fine. Really.”

  The bell rang, and he grabbed the paper and his backpack, eager to get out of there. Anna stopped him in the hallway.

  “See you for lunch? I’m craving tacos today.”

  “Sure, sounds good.”

  She grabbed his neck, nails pricking at his skin, and pulled him in for a kiss. He let it happen, though he was self-conscious about who might be watching. Ever since that comment from Beau about his hallway PDAs, he’d been vaguely uncomfortable, but it wasn’t like he wanted to take her home, where things could progress further than he wanted. Anna hadn’t pushed for more intimacy, and Wade had been happy to keep their interactions superficial. Outside of the occasional movie date, they mostly saw each other at school and that was fine by him.

  “See you later,” she said, before pulling away to head for her government class. Wade’s only other class was in the opposite direction, so they generally didn’t meet up again until lunch, after which he went home until it was time to pick up Beau. His two junior college courses were only twice a week in the evening, so he didn’t have to invest as much time in them. Strangely, he was having no difficulty maintaining his grades in either of them.

  Instead of heading to Algebra II, Wade turned and walked back through the classroom door he’d just exited. Taking a deep breath and giving himself a mental pep talk, he approached Ms. Carrow.

  Just ask if you can try again. Or work for extra credit. Anything might help.

  He approached the desk, where she sat with her head tilted down over a grading book. He cleared his throat. “Uh, Ms. Carrow?”

  She glanced up in surprise, then straightened in her chair. “Can I help you with something?”

  “Yeah, about this paper . . .”

  Her lips thinned. “I can’t change your grade to something better. You earned that grade, and if you want something else, you’ll have to do better.”

  He nodded and almost turned away, but his mother’s insistence that he show initiative stuck with him. “I know you can’t change it. I was just wondering if I could try again.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Could I rewrite the paper for a better grade or extra credit or something? I’m looking into getting a tutor, and I’d like to figure out how to do better.”

  Her expression softened. “That’s great. I’m so glad you’re taking school seriously this year.”

  “I am.”

  She tapped her fingers on the desktop, thinking. Wade held his silence, even though he was going to be late for his next class.

  “Okay, Wade. This is a one-time opportunity. Rewrite the paper, and I’ll grade it. I’ll let you use whichever grade is better.”

  “Really? Thank you!”

  “But just this paper,” she said. “You won’t get a second chance on your term paper, so I suggest you get that tutor and figure things out before you write a paper worth half a letter grade for the year.”

  “Definitely, I will. Thank you so much, Ms. Carrow.”

  ***

  Beau scooped up his books as the bell rang for lunch, and Ker and Nate followed him out of AP English class. They’d critiqued their latest book reports in small groups, which meant that whenever Ms. Carrow wasn’t swooping over to check on their progress, they chatted about whatever they wanted. In Nate’s case, that had been strategies for the upcoming gaming night at Geek Out.

  “You’re coming, right?” he asked Beau, not for the first time.

  “Yeah, I said I would,” Beau said, a little annoyed Nate hadn’t taken him at his word that he wouldn’t flake out on him again. The one time he did had been an aberration. “What time do you want to meet up?”

  “Right after school,” Nate said as they jostled their way to the crowded doorway.

  “That soon?” They usually didn’t go that early, which made Beau suspect that Nate still worried he’d skip out on him.

  Ker rolled her eyes. “I can drive you if you don’t want Mr. Wonderful to know you’re a geek.”

  Beau snorted a laugh, glancing over his shoulder. “That’s not—”

  His words cut off as he bumped into someone in the hallway. He turned, intending to apologize, but he didn’t get the chance. Jeremy shoved him hard into the blue metal lockers next to the classroom door.

  “Don’t touch me, dude.”

  He called Beau dude, not fag, but it was clear by his tone what he wanted to say. Jeremy was too smart to use derogatory slurs in school.

  Ker pushed down Jeremy’s arm, breaking the contact between him and Beau. “Back off. Nobody wants to touch you. Beau has better offers, trust me.”

  “Ker,” Beau said, warning her with his eyes to dial it down.

  Kids continued to flow down the hall, providing a sense of security. Jeremy wouldn’t start anything serious now. But Beau worried about later. Bad enough that Jeremy might corner him on his own at some point — Wade was bound to get tired of playing chauffeur eventually — but what if he targeted Ker? Beau didn’t want her getting dragged into his mess.

  “Just stay away from me,” Jeremy said as he stormed off, as if Beau had been harassing him and not the other way around.

  “You stay away from him,” Ker called after Jeremy.

  “Fuck off, bitch!” He threw over his sh
oulder.

  “Oh, hell no,” Nate said, bursting into motion. He rushed past Beau and pushed through students, trying to catch up to Jeremy. Ker and Beau exchanged a startled look before running after him.

  Beau grabbed his arm, but Nate shook him off. It took Ker jumping into his path to stop him from running headlong into a fight. Luckily, Jeremy didn’t notice. When Beau looked past Nate and Ker, Jeremy was already at the exit to the parking lot.

  “That asshole. He can’t talk to you like that,” Nate said, still fuming.

  “You can’t just run and tackle him, Nate,” Ker said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Besides, Beau is the one you should be standing up for. Jeremy hassles him all the time.”

  Nate shrugged. “You had it covered.” He looked at Beau. “You know I got your back, though.”

  “I know,” Beau said, though he was well aware that Jeremy’s insult to Ker triggered Nate’s anger in a way insulting Beau never would. He didn’t take that personally. Nate adored Ker.

  “So, gaming,” Nate said, picking up their conversation. “You’ve got to come tonight, okay? I need you to have my back.”

  “I’ll be there,” Beau said in exasperation. “I’ve already told you.”

  “Even if you get another offer?” Nate asked with a pointed expression.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay then,” Nate said with a big grin, “awesome!”

  He clapped his hands together and resumed mapping out their plans. “I plan to start my campaign for Catan tonight. No more Pokémon tournaments, dude, for real.”

  Beau and Ker exchanged a fond look. Nate could be adorable, kind of like a hyper puppy bouncing around, when he got excited about something. They let him chatter excitedly as they made their way to the parking lot to head off campus for lunch. No one but the underclassmen willingly ate in the cafeteria.

  Beau noticed Wade across the lot with a small group of people. His friend Shane, his girlfriend Anna and a couple of cheerleaders Beau didn’t know well stood clustered around his car, gesturing animatedly while Wade looked impatient.

  As Beau watched, Wade’s gaze stopped on him. Wade glanced back at his friends and then rolled his eyes, as if to say, “What can you do?” The small joke meant just for him made Beau’s insides flutter.

  Nate nudged him. “Hey, there’s Wade. You can tell him you won’t need a ride today.”

  “Ow. Watch your bony elbows,” he complained.

  “Sorry. Just saying.”

  “I’m happy to take you,” Ker said. “I might even hang out and flirt with a few geeks. I’m feeling depressed at the way Wade’s eyes don’t see anything but you.”

  Beau whipped his head to look back at Wade. He wasn’t looking at Beau at all, having turned to say something to Shane.

  Ker snorted a laugh. “Made you look!”

  Beau huffed, half-annoyed and half-amused. “With you for a friend, who needs enemies?”

  He jogged across the lot before she could lob one back. He never got the last word with that girl.

  “Hey, Wade. Got a second?” he called.

  Wade glanced at his friends, who were still arguing over where to eat lunch, and took a few steps forward to meet Beau. “What’s up?”

  “Just wanted to let you know I don’t need a ride today after school.”

  Wade lowered his voice. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah! I just have a thing with Nate.”

  Wade’s gaze shot over his shoulder to where his friends waited. “A thing?”

  “Just this gaming thing ... not video games, but like board games and card games. At a store. It’s kind of a thing we do. Not that you care.” His cheeks burned with embarrassment as he faltered to a stop.

  “That’s why I don’t need a ride,” he finished lamely.

  Wade nodded. “Gotcha.”

  “I’m a geek,” Beau confessed. “The secret’s out.”

  Wade didn’t laugh as he hoped, but his lips quirked in that way Beau had come to recognize meant he was amused.

  “Speaking of secrets, I need a favor. If you’re up for it.”

  Beau wondered if Wade was aware of the innuendoes that could be drawn from that statement. Probably not since he was straight, and sex wasn’t one of the first things on his mind when they talked. Unlike Beau. He found Wade even hotter now than he did when they barely knew each other. Surely, he should be discovering flaws to turn him off, but no. He hadn’t been that lucky.

  “I’m always up for it,” he said teasingly, but it was lost on Wade. Especially because his girlfriend sidled up just then, curling a nail-tipped hand around Wade’s bicep.

  “Hey, we finally decided on a place. You ready to go, hon?”

  Beau suppressed the urge to grimace.

  “Yeah, just talking with my tutor,” Wade said.

  Say what?

  “For help with my English paper,” Wade added.

  Anna brightened. “Oh right, your tutor! Well, you made a good choice. Beau is super smart.”

  Beau probably shouldn’t feel as if he’d just been insulted, but he did.

  “I’ll hit you up about time and place later?” Wade said hurriedly, saving Beau from needing to respond. He managed to nod.

  He wasn’t an idiot. Wade didn’t want to acknowledge they were friends. Not that they were friends, but he’d thought they were moving in that direction.

  His heart squeezed in his chest, and he needed to get away fast.

  “I gotta go,” Beau mumbled, turning away. As he hurried across the lot, he heard Wade call a thank-you, but he didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He felt like too much an idiot for letting his crush take root when he should be focusing on more important things.

  Ker and Nate exchanged a look when they saw his face, but they didn’t say anything until they were in the car. Then, as usual, Ker took the lead.

  “What did he do?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit,” Nate said. “You look like a kicked puppy.”

  “Dude.”

  “Bro.”

  Beau sighed. “We were chatting, and he seemed totally friendly, then Anna came over, and he pretended I was his tutor.”

  “Seriously?” Ker gasped, outraged on his behalf.

  “He probably needs a tutor, the asswipe,” Nate grumbled.

  “Whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Screw that,” Ker said as she started up the car and drove out of the lot. She headed automatically for their favorite pizza place, Toppings, where Nate worked part time and could get them free soda. “I know how much you like him—”

  “He’s straight,” Beau protested.

  “Which is why you should date someone else,” she said as if it wasn’t an insane idea for a gay guy to try to date, especially one already dealing with bullying. He barked out a laugh.

  “Okay, point me to the boyfriend store.”

  “Maybe Gil, that kid in all the plays?” Nate suggested. Beau was stunned to see his friend, usually too uncomfortable to talk boys with him, speculating about possible boyfriends.

  “I don’t even know the guy!” Beau protested.

  Ker nodded agreement. Finally, someone rational. Then she opened her mouth. “No, Beau’s right. It would be weird to ask Gil. That’s why he should ask out Miles, like I already told him.”

  She cast a glare into the rearview mirror and spoke as if he was an unruly child who wasn’t behaving rather than a guy with his own free will when it came to dating — or attempting to date. Whatever.

  “You sure he’s gay though?” Nate asked, hitting on Beau’s primary concern. “I thought he had a girlfriend last year?”

  Ker rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because there’s only straight or gay,” she said sarcastically. “Maybe he’s bisexual, or in the closet.”

  “Or straight,” Beau said.

  “He could be, but the last time he joined us for lunch he was looking at you like you were a bowl of ice cream and he wanted a spoon.”

  Nat
e made a disgusted sound, finally pushed out of his comfort zone. Beau didn’t even care about the borderline homophobia. He welcomed a subject change.

  But to his surprise, Nate wasn’t squicked out by the conversation. He said, “Spoon? Please. Best thing to do with ice cream is lick.”

  He leaned over and tried to lick Ker’s face. She shrieked and swerved. “I’m driving here!”

  “Yeah, I’m too young to die,” Beau said. “How will I ever ask out some straight guy if you kill me?”

  Nate laughed, sitting back in his seat. “Sorry.”

  “So, you’ll ask?” Ker prompted.

  Beau groaned. “I’ll think about it.”

  Ker squealed and bounced in her seat as she continued to drive, but thankfully she stayed in her lane. “I hope you do it. Miles was totally into you. I could tell!”

  If she was wrong, it would be his outing and humiliation, not hers. Not that he was convincing many people at Ashe High that he was straight after that video went viral. Besides, Ker had good instincts about these things, and it would be nice to have someone interested in him rather than broody and distant.

  “I’ll think about it,” he repeated.

  Chapter 9

  Beau flopped back onto his bed, stretching his arms above his head to loosen up tight shoulder muscles after a night hunched over a gaming table at Geek Out. They’d gotten there just before 4 p.m. and played for five hours straight, surviving on vending machine snacks. Beau’s mom had assumed he was volunteering when he called to tell her he’d miss dinner, and he hadn’t corrected that assumption. She could be overprotective, and he wasn’t going to get anyone pregnant at Geek Out. Neither were the straight guys, for that matter.

  Ker and a spunky chick who looked more like an anime character than a real person were the only girls in the place. Shia sported sharply cut bangs dyed a pale purple to go along with a razor-sharp wit. Despite large eyes that gave the illusion of innocence, she held her own among the gamer boys with insane amounts of knowledge about all the games being played that night. Everything from classic board games to immersive card games were trotted out, and she seemed to be an expert in them all.