Saving Anna

by Sharon Struth

  She lifted her chin, despite the trembling inside her gut. “Isaak asked me to visit Germany to find this man, but…” A lone tear rolled along her cheek, and she lifted her gaze to find sadness in Josef’s expression. “Besides finding Gunther, he wanted me to take this trip for another reason. To get away from my husband.”

  Josef brushed away the tear. “Isaak sounds like a good friend,” he said, his voice tender.

  She nodded. “After I filed divorce papers, my lawyer advised me to serve them when I wouldn’t be around. I’d never know what would set off Patrick’s anger, but there was no doubt the divorce papers would. This trip came at the right time.”

  Josef flinched, a slight tug at his jaw. “Oh, Anna.” The way he spoke her name sounded personal, as if he’d witnessed each strike Patrick ever gave her.

  The waitress arrived at the table. As she set down their coffee and dessert, Josef released Anna’s hand and sat back, but never took his gaze off her. The whites of his eyes glistened. She greedily drank in his sympathy. Not once after Patrick had hurt her had she been able to find true solace. Only lick her wounds until the next beating.

  The waitress left and for a moment, neither spoke. Then Josef took her hand, carefully, as if she were made of glass. “I will listen if you want to talk about it.”

  A small gesture. But the kind of offer she needed. She told him everything, from learning about Patrick’s childhood history of being abused right up to visiting the divorce lawyer.

  Josef listened in silence, but every so often she’d catch an angry twitch when she mentioned details about Patrick’s mistreatment of her. Yet, not once did he let go of her hand. Not once did he ask why she stayed.

  Talking openly scrubbed away more of the humiliation eating away at her soul. Same as when she’d finally told her sister the truth. Proof that if others didn’t blame her, it was high time she stopped blaming herself. Only the ability to do so felt just out of reach.

  * * * *

  Josef placed a hand on Anna’s back and waited for her to pass through a doorway inside Burg Eltz. They stepped outside onto a concrete patio area resting between two tall turrets.

  “What a view.” She walked to the chest-high edge and stared out into the forest surrounding the castle.

  He went to her side and pointed to a road visible between thick patches of trees. “We drove through that forest.”

  “Was that when we zigged and zagged on our way here?”

  “It was.”

  Josef had driven the mountain road unhurriedly, carefully. Much like the path Anna steered him down at the end of their lunch. Where he peeked around the dangerous emotional corners of Anna’s life. Her brave story pulled him in, cast her in a new light. The sadness of what she endured, though, left him grappling with emotions so raw he didn’t know what to do with them. She’d stripped herself emotionally bare for him. Abused, but unwilling to give up. Respect he already had for her overflowed and seeped into the deepest crevices of his soul.

  After all she’d been through, everyone received a smile from her, and she didn’t dwell on her problems. Instead, she set out to help others with theirs. At one point, while she’d talked compassionately about her husband’s past, Josef’s reverence for her unfurled. She’d stayed with the man because he needed help. The ultimate in selfless concern.

  Anybody could hate or be angry with injustice. It took a bigger person to show compassion.

  Meanwhile, these past months, Josef had spent his days dwelling on his mistakes. Complaining, complaining, complaining.

  Mein Gott! He could hardly stand himself.

  Anna glanced at him and motioned over her shoulder to the others in their tour, who passed through the castle door with their guide. “Should we go?”

  “Sure.” He smiled to mask the disgust eating away at him.

  “Hold on. Stand against the wall so I can take your picture.”

  He did as she asked while she lifted camera. “Say cheese?”

  “Käse.”

  She laughed and took the photo. “I’m guessing that’s German for cheese.”

  “You guessed correctly.” He laughed along with her and his sour thoughts vanished.

  The tour continued. They walked together, so close that a simple shift of her head would cast a trace of floral fragrance from her shiny hair. Each time their eyes met, his heart would jolt. When she wasn’t looking, he’d skim the details of her face and memorize the perfect shape of her lips, the slight slope of her pert nose, or the curve of her slender neck. He half-listened to the castle tour. All his focus stayed on Anna. He wished he possessed one tenth of the compassion she outwardly offered to others. Especially when her personal circumstances could’ve easily stolen all her hope.

  When the tour ended, Josef motioned to a concession stand near the exit. “I need coffee before we get back in the car. Want some?”

  “Sure.”

  “Go ahead and grab a table.” He handed her his cane. “Can you take this over?”

  “Oh, let me get the coffee.”

  “Not necessary,” he said quickly. “How do you want your coffee?”

  “Milk and sugar.”

  As he waited in line, an overwhelming desire to return to the man he used to be swept over him. He hated the idea Anna felt a need to help him. Like he was elderly. For God’s sake, he’d just turned forty-one.

  He returned to the table and placed the coffees down, then carefully swung his bad leg over the bench seat. Anna stared out to the surrounding trees, the sun’s gleam making her black hair glisten as if dotted with shards of onyx.

  She turned to him and wrapped her hands around the cup. “Thanks. Imagine living here? This place is glorious. A far cry from Brooklyn.”

  He sipped his drink. “New York City has its own special flavor.”

  “Oh? You’ve been?”

  “Many years ago, a vacation with friends. We visited New York for a week, then flew to Utah to do some hiking through your beautiful national parks.” He shifted, bumped his cane and it fell off the table. “Damn this thing.” He leaned over, grabbed the hooked top, and lay it on the bench beside him.

  She sipped her coffee and watched him over the edge of her cup. “I have a confession to make. When I was in your apartment that day, I glanced at a newspaper article about the accident. A French paper. Is that where you got hurt?”

  So, she was looking at the article that day. “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry. It was nosey. I only caught a glimpse.”

  “No. It is fine.” Trust. She’d handed him hers during lunch. He owed her what he could give. “My sister says I am too… Oh, what is the word? Closed up? Withdrawn?”

  She chuckled. “I’d say you are typical of most men. We have to pry things out of you.”

  “Helga, my sister, thinks this pain in my leg is really in my head.”

  “Hmmm. I can’t imagine it’s all in your head.”

  “No. Me either, but…” He met Anna’s gaze. “As the article showed, I was not the only one hurt in the accident. A woman—Lily—she was with me. I met her the night before the crash. We, we hit it off. I had a week off tour. She suggested we drive to Nice to see some of her friends.”

  He stopped, unable to breathe, as if hands wrapped his neck and cut off air.

  Anna slid her soft hand over his.

  He managed to inhale and forced himself to speak the words he’d only spoken out loud to a few. “And she—she… She died in the accident.”

  Anna’s eyes watered. “I’m so sorry.”

  He nodded, but his mouth went dry as he tried to respond. After taking a sip of his coffee, he said, “As I told you the day we saw Mainz, I cannot remember a thing from the crash.”

  “You did tell me. Still nothing?”

  He shook his head. “My last memory is right before the accident, when
everything was fine.”

  Anna watched him, blinking, waiting.

  His heart beat wildly, like a marathon runner nearing the end of a long journey. “And no matter how hard I try, I cannot help but wonder what careless thing I might have done to have caused the car to crash. The police don’t know either. They did not hold me accountable, but… I should have told you all this sooner. If you no longer wish my services after today, I will understand.”

  “Oh, Josef.” She wrapped both her hands around his and her eyes watered. “You’re my partner in finding Gunther, remember? Your driving is fine. You got us up that mountainside. I trust you.” She paused and with gentleness in her voice added, “You need to start trusting yourself.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “Don’t I know it.” She remained quiet for a moment, then added, “It took me a long time to step away from my husband after he’d done some pretty horrible things to me. I suppose I’d lost faith along the way, too.”

  “But you seem to have a handle on it now.”

  “Not really. Lately I’ve been wondering if I like to tend to others all the time to avoid my own issues.”

  He shook his head. “And my problems, that is all I think about.”

  “No you don’t. You’re helping me.”

  Anna’s faith gave him a boost he hadn’t expected to feel.

  “Maybe we can learn a bit from each other.” She tilted her head and her eyes softened with a weak smile. “What do you think?”

  “I think it is a worth a try.”

  Chapter 16

  Lucy and Ricky dragged Anna across the guesthouse patio with the strength of a mule team, their long noses pressed to the ground while Anna’s hand wrapped tightly around their leashes. They led her through the propped-open dining room doors.

  The room hummed with chatter from the breakfast crowd. Besides the house regulars sitting at their usual table, several weekend guests dined at some of the smaller tables.

  The dogs headed straight to Max, each letting out high-pitched yips of excitement as they neared him.

  He looked up from his breakfast and a smile bloomed beneath his mustache. “There are my babies!”

  Anna released the leashes and the delighted pups scurried to him, their long, thin tails whipping back and forth.

  Max dropped his fork, picked up the roll on his plate, and broke off several small pieces “Did you two have fun?” He paused as he gave them the handouts. “You did? Well, I will thank her.” He smiled at Anna. “They said danke. They love it when you walk them.”

  “I have fun, too. Although we did have one little incident. Halfway through the walk, Miss Lucy decided to lie on her back on the sidewalk?”

  “What?” Max’s bushy white brows rose.

  “She’s quite a character. No matter how much I coaxed her to move, she wouldn’t budge so pedestrians walked around her.”

  Frowning, he glanced down at the dog. “Lucy, das ist nicht sehr nett.”

  Lucy’s ears went back.

  Max glanced at Anna. “She apologizes.”

  Anna crouched down, ran her hand along the dog’s back. “Aw, it’s okay. It was actually kind of funny.”

  Max nodded. “She can be a funny dog.” He took Anna’s other hand and gave it a squeeze. “You are an angel. The medicine for my knee is helping. Soon I shall be able to walk the dogs myself.”

  “Glad you’re getting better.”

  She took the seat next to him, across from Ruth and Otto, and fished her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. Jenna had sent a text ten minutes ago saying she might try to call on her way home from the hospital night shift. Anna’s mind roiled with possible reasons her sister wanted to speak with her. Patrick wouldn’t go to her house twice, would he?

  Anna removed a roll from a cloth-lined basket. “Otto, could you please pass the hard-boiled eggs?”

  “Of course.” Otto handed her the bowl and she took one.

  Ruth glanced up as she stirred her coffee. “Did you find your man yesterday, Anna?”

  “No. We struck out again. But the person we located remembered another family with the same name in Frankfurt that moved to either Wetzlar or Wiesbaden after the war.”

  “That is good. So the trip was not a waste.”

  “Not at all. Afterward, Josef suggested we visit Burg Eltz.”

  “Ah, a lovely castle,” Ruth said, then she sipped her coffee.

  The group began to discuss castles on the Rhine. Anna spread sweet plum jam on the soft roll and listened, hoping to visit a few of the sights before leaving. As she was about to take her last bite, her phone rang. She glanced at the display. Patrick’s name appeared, not her sister’s. She pushed the button to send his call straight into voice mail.

  Conversation continued around her. She sipped her coffee, ate, and tried to act like nothing was wrong even though her heart pattered quickly and her appetite shriveled. She felt positive today and didn’t want think about Patrick. The phone rang again and this time went straight into voice mail. Two calls in a row. His sense of urgency couldn’t mean anything good.

  Ping! The message light flashed, ominous as a roadside hazard sign. She swiped up the phone and mumbled, “Excuse me.”

  Her heart racing, she hurried through the restaurant to a sitting area near the reception desk, far from the diners. She steadied her breath, sat in an oversized chair, and hit play. Patrick’s calm voice greeted her. Eerily calm.

  “Still avoiding me, Anna? I’m sure you think you’re very clever with your disappearing act. Figured there was no possible way I could find you. And I’ve tried. Boy, have I tried. I’d just about given up, but then my luck turned. Do you remember Maria Rossi?”

  Anna’s heart raced. Maria Rossi? She didn’t know anybody by that name.

  “She’s the realtor handling the sale of Isaak’s home. Yesterday I ran into her after an open house at Isaak’s. We had a long chat. Seems she loved meeting you and was enamored about running into the author of a column she loves to read. Oh, and she asked if you were having success in Germany. Surprised? So was I. It seems while handling the house sale she talked quite a bit with Isaak’s lawyer’s secretary, who didn’t mind sharing with Maria about the delightful deed Isaak asked you to do for him. Ms. Rossi was curious if you’d found the man Isaak asked you to find.

  So, now I know you are safe and won’t worry about you. But I guess it’s your turn to worry.”

  He hung up. Anna sat there, unable to move. Yes, now she remembered Maria. The pleasant and chatty real estate agent who caught her right before she’d left for the airport. Of course she’d have to deal with Isaak’s lawyer, who would be handling the sale of Isaak’s house. Or more likely Maria was working with the lawyer’s assistant. The same woman who’d taken care of Anna’s arrangements.

  Her anger flared. Her private business. Discussed by others.

  But why would the assistant or lawyer think her trip was a secret? They didn’t know about Anna’s marital problems. What Isaak said in his letter had been a private matter between the two of them. The assistant had only shared the joy of Anna doing something nice for an old neighbor with someone also involved in Isaak’s estate. And Maria showed no malice by inquiring or talking to Patrick. Of course she’d have assumed Anna’s husband would know about Anna’s mission.

  But would the assistant have given Maria details on the exact location where Anna stayed? That would cross a line. Anna would have to trust the assistant wouldn’t go that far.

  Patrick’s call was only a desperate attempt to scare her enough to reach out to him.

  Little did he know, she’d changed while away from her old life. No longer did the daily terror he’d pounded into her, either with his mind games or his fists, matter. She’d become more confident and less fearful. More like her old self. No, she wouldn’t be tricked into callin
g him. And he certainly wasn’t crazy enough to fly over and try to find her.

  Or would he?

  The calm in his voice had been the same calm that would precede his angry outbursts. A chill traveled her spine, but she shook it off and returned to finish her breakfast.

  * * * *

  Josef slipped on his leather jacket and gathered the papers on his desk. Anna would be pleased when she saw what he’d found late last night. There were strong odds the man he found in Wiesbaden was the Gunther she searched for. Oddly enough, located just across the river.

  As he stuffed the papers into a leather satchel, he picked up his cell phone and dialed his brother’s number. Gabriel answered on the first ring.

  “Guten Morgen. Quick question,” Josef said. “Is it too late to invite someone to the wedding?”

  “Hold on. I’ll ask Kirsten.”

  Yesterday, Josef almost invited Anna to join him at the wedding while they’d driven home. Only he’d clammed up. What if she said no? He’d have been forced to ride the rest of the way home feeling like a big loser. During the night, his courage had risen and he was determined to ask her today. As long as it wasn’t too late.

  “Kirsten plans on phoning in the final count tomorrow.”

  “Great. Then put me down for a yes. I am asking someone today. If she refuses, I will call.”

  “A woman, refuse you?”

  “Oh, come on now…”

  Gabriel laughed. “Mutti will be thrilled.”

  “Yes. But let it be a surprise.”

  He tossed the phone inside the satchel, located his cane in the kitchen, and hurried out to the car.

  He pulled out of his complex, thinking about how to phrase this invite to Anna. As an extension of her German experience? Or because he simply liked having her at his side? The confidence that had procured him many dates over the years was another casualty of the accident. Yet, Anna seemed to enjoy being with him, as he did her. It still wasn’t that easy. Every single time he got lost in her onyx eyes, or she’d smile at something he said, his heart pulsed a little faster. Around her, he felt settled. Content. A no answer would hurt.