Saving Anna

by Sharon Struth

  “It is spectacular. Canals, cobbled streets, medieval buildings. You would love it.”

  “Then how about we stay for a night? I’ll pay, since this is still part of Isaak’s reason for sending me here.”

  He stopped at a traffic light. “Would you like to do some sightseeing along the way?”

  “I would, so maybe we could take our time. Unless you have to get back.”

  “No. You are my client until you are done with me.”

  He gave her a playful wink, but she didn’t smile. He was more than her driver.

  “What is wrong?”

  “I—I guess I consider you more than the guy hired to drive me around. We’ve been through a lot.”

  He reached for her hand. “Of course I do, Anna. It was, oh what is the word? An expression. Today, what happened was more than just my job.”

  She smiled, squeezed his hand. “Okay. I’m glad.”

  The light changed, and their hands parted. They drove in silence, her heart wrapped around emotions from today’s visit plus mounting feelings for Josef. A bonus she hadn’t expected to find on this trip, and one she wasn’t sure how to handle.

  A sign they passed listed a Holocaust memorial not far away.

  She thought about the lost links to her family’s Judaism. “Dr. Walker mentioned the Holocaust memorial here.”

  “Want to stop?”

  “If you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” Josef took a few turns, pulled over, and parked along the street. “We can walk from here.”

  As they walked past shops and restaurants, Josef glanced her way. “This synagogue was built around 1860, but destroyed in 1938.”

  “Destroyed before the war started?”

  His Adam’s apple slid down his throat and it took him a moment to answer. “It was destroyed on Kristallnacht. One of many synagogues destroyed.”

  Hate had no boundaries that night. Places of worship. Businesses. Private homes. Innocent civilian causalities, like Isaak’s parents. Grief bottled in her throat and, as if Josef sensed it, he took her hand.

  They rounded a corner onto a wide, brick-paved street lined with pretty buildings and restaurants. He motioned to an area where three tall, stone-gray walls connected at each edge had been arranged on a sidewalk.

  “These walls represent the synagogue’s shadow,” he said in a quiet, respectful tone. A dark gray engraved metal plate ran along the lower portion of each wall.

  They moved closer. The engravings held names, next to them dates, and a place.

  “This honors the Jews from Wiesbaden who died during this time in our history.” He pointed to a name. “It shows the birthdate and when the individual died…” He motioned to the word Auschwitz. “…and where they died.”

  Josef kept a tight grip on her hand, as if he worried the weight of this memorial might pull her into its undertow, drown her in sadness. With each step, with each name, the pain of death stuck in Anna’s throat, left a gaping hole in her heart. They silently and slowly walked past each walled section, honoring the memories of those who had suffered.

  These victims had a powerful and hateful force enter their lives, one nations had been defenseless to stop. It made her problems pale. Hate had invaded her life, too, but she had choices that these people hadn’t.

  When they finished, Josef guided her across the street, where they sat at a bench and stared at the memorial. A dark cloud hung over their heads, filled with the sadness of so many lives lost. Too many. Anna’s eyes watered, then tears spilled in mourning for every one of those names and the victims she might never know about.

  Josef cried, too. He wrapped her in his arms, and they sat together that way for some time.

  Chapter 18

  “Who will pay for this trip?”

  Claudia spoke in her direct, don’t-mess-with-me tone, but it never intimidated Josef as it did some of the other staff at Wanderlust Excursions. He shifted the phone to his other ear while he poured a cup of coffee and before he could answer, she resumed talking.

  “Our agreement was for you to take this client to places in this country. You can say no. I know the driving—”

  “The driving is fine. I am adjusting. Besides, the estate of the man who sent her to Germany will pay for our travel. Second, I don’t want to say no. I want to—”

  “Oh my God! What is that husband of mine doing? Hold on.”

  He added some sugar to the coffee and stirred, tired and raw from the emotion of what happened in Wiesbaden this afternoon. His world had been flipped upside down, exactly what the doctor ordered.

  “I’m sorry.” Claudia returned. “Where were we?”

  “I was telling you that I want to go to Belgium. If I were to be honest, I have grown to…well, to care about this story. Meeting Gunther touched me very deeply.” Josef’s chest tightened each time he thought about the elderly man’s face, filled with agony as he shared some of his sadder stories. “And Gunther wants Anna to meet the family in Belgium who helped Isaak, eventually getting him to England. We took a copy of the letter Isaak wrote to deliver to them.” He drew in a deep breath and didn’t care if he sounded ridiculous. “This is a journey I feel I must complete. For me as much as our client.”

  Claudia went strangely silent for a moment, then softly said, “Well, why didn’t you say so. Of course you should go.”

  “And, I’ve been thinking. Don’t pay me for the trip to Belgium. Anna has already insisted upon paying you for more of my time. Take the money. Donate it to one of the many memorial funds for Holocaust victims. I don’t care which one.”

  “I can see this has touched you. How about I donate some of the money my company made, too?”

  “It would be the right thing to do.”

  “So, what are the next steps?”

  “I dropped Anna off at the guesthouse an hour ago. I’m going back there in a while for dinner so we can plan the days we will be in Belgium.”

  “I see.” She got quiet again. “Days? Are you comfortable going away that long with this woman?”

  “What are you digging at?”

  “Just wondering if there is something more going on.”

  Her tone teased, but he wasn’t about to confess to Claudia emotions for Anna he hardly had his own head wrapped around. “We have become friends.”

  She chuckled. “I see. Well, be safe while traveling.”

  “We will. Gute Nacht.” He hung up.

  He sipped his mug of coffee on the way to the bedroom, where he pulled on tan khakis, a clean white oxford shirt, and belt. While patting on a little cologne, it struck him how the weight of the day’s events left a heavy imprint inside his chest. So many times he’d heard the stories of his country’s history and visited Holocaust memorials, always leaving him somber afterwards. As they should.

  Today’s visit, though, pulled him to a deeper level of sadness and understanding. Gunther and Isaak’s story would forever be part of his life, reminding him that in a world blackened by the deeds of the devil, a ray of sunshine could still be found in the hearts of humankind.

  Strong forces lately guided his life, leading him places like the Holocaust memorial. They opened his eyes to the fact he’d been blind these past six months. His problems were as insignificant as a grain of sand on a beach compared to the horror those people went through.

  He could still feel Anna’s slender frame in his arms, the wetness of her tears as she cried. All while he silently released the demons owning him since the minute he woke at the French hospital. The pity he’d clung to. The blame he believed he’d owned. All slowly evaporating because of this journey taken with her.

  He went to the mirror and ran a quick comb through his hair. He paused at his reflection. The angry edges on his face since the accident were gone. Instead, he saw life in his eyes. A happy glow he used to see all the time
. Or did they glow because he was about to see a woman who made him feel alive again? Made him yearn for a deeper relationship. The type of closeness he used to keep at a distance. Anna’s magic made him open up to her. Or maybe he had changed.

  In either case, he would grab this time with her and embrace every second.

  * * * *

  Anna furiously typed on her keyboard, hoping to get down some rough notes on everything that happened at Gunther’s house. A powerful day. Exhausting and exhilarating.

  They’d found Gunther. She still almost couldn’t believe it. And Josef had been at her side the whole way. Sharing in her excitement, lifting her when she’d faced disappointments. Even offering deep insights about what it all meant.

  She reread a line she’d thought of during their car ride home this afternoon. Each person added a link to Isaak’s chain of hope.

  Yes, the phrase described perfectly the multiple links needed for one man to survive. Finding many people who hadn’t lost faith in mankind and were willing to take a risk to make good things happen. A point she would surely highlight for her readers.

  She glanced at the time, saved her work, and stood. At her wardrobe closet, she retrieved an oversized sweater and slipped it on with black leggings, smiling as she thought about her column.

  A chain of hope.

  Because of Isaak, a new link to the chain had been added. Decades later, when he’d handed her a lifeline to leave Patrick. A move leading her to this house full of strangers. Each of them a link in her chain, making her examine her world and relationships.

  Dr. Walker encouraged her exploration of never-discussed family history.

  Ruth and Otto’s oddly tender bickering proved that disagreement could be found in the folds of love in a non-abusive way.

  Regina and Joachim hired Josef for her. Without him, she might still be trying to find Gunther. And on a personal note, Josef had proven that there were still caring and honest men in the world.

  She softly touched her cheek, the way Josef had earlier, right before hugging her goodbye. He’d talked so excitedly about what they could see in Belgium. She couldn’t wait to see the country or spend time with him. On paper, she remained married, a technicality to her heart’s desire to get to know Josef better. A relationship that might be nothing more than two people becoming close friends. Or was there more going on with him than she wanted to admit? And if so, did she face an ethical dilemma if she saw Josef as more than a friend?

  Logic. Truth. Her own needs. What mattered the most? She wished she could roll the dice and get an answer. But one thing remained certain….

  Somewhere between bruises, the love she once gave to Patrick had been shattered, left in too many pieces to ever repair. Maybe Patrick never fully understood how to care for someone, but his problems no longer mattered to her. She’d tried so hard to fix him and nearly went down with the ship. Now, it was up to him to get professional help.

  She deserved better. To be supported, treated the way Josef treated her today. With genuine caring and support.

  Once finished brushing her teeth, she grabbed a hand towel and wiped her mouth while staring into the beveled mirror. Gone was the empty stare that greeted her these past two years. Tonight, her face radiated happiness.

  She straightened her shoulders, jutted out her chin. A brave warrior stared back at her, no longer afraid of the big bad wolf. A brave woman whose heart tingled each time she looked at the man who stuck to her side on this new journey of self-discovery.

  This task would’ve been different without Josef. Accomplishing it might have been possible, but he brought sensitivity to the table, gave everything he touched more meaning. He’d even shared his own painful memories with her, in a way that drew them closer.

  In contrast, during her marriage, Patrick handed her only his pain.

  Moments dashed through her mind like flash cards. The way she’d edit every sentence for fear of setting him off. The times her careful words didn’t matter, and how he’d slap, punch, and kick her further down a dark hole. All stemming from unhappiness he didn’t know how to channel.

  A sense of urgency barreled toward her, insisting she make sure Patrick understood she no longer loved him. Each time he called, it showed he still had hope for their marriage.

  There wasn’t any, though. It wasn’t only because she’d met a man who showed her how it felt to be treated properly. It was because she stopped loving Patrick long before filing those divorce papers.

  She needed to tell him again. Now. Not later. She didn’t want him trying to come to Germany hoping to work things out. It wouldn’t happen. And though she’d said it in her note and in her actions, Patrick wasn’t listening. She’d give it one more shot. That way she could pursue this new feeling of being alive knowing she’d been as direct as possible. Then it wouldn’t feel wrong to get closer to Josef, if that was where things took them.

  It was early afternoon in New York. Before she lost courage, she removed the phone from her purse and started to dial his cell phone but stopped. He might not answer for her. Instead, she punched in the main switchboard at his office. The receptionist answered.

  Anna said, “May I have extension 3405?”

  As his phone rang, Anna’s heartbeat raged like a warrior facing a battle.

  You can do this! She closed her eyes, willed herself to be strong.

  “Patrick Kelly here.”

  “It’s Anna.”

  After a silent beat—filling the space like an eternity—he said, “Oh, you couldn’t talk to me before, but now that I know where to find you, you finally call.”

  “I needed time at first and didn’t want to talk to you.”

  “What a bullshit move, Anna. Serving me those papers at work. I have never been so humiliated in my life.”

  Two words dangled on the end of her tongue. I’m sorry. But she wasn’t. “My lawyer advised I serve the papers in a public place.”

  His voice boomed, sending a chill up her spine. “I don’t care what—” The slam of his office door carried over the phone lines. “I don’t care what your lawyer told you. You embarrassed me!”

  Her stomach quivered. She’d never spoken back to him. But did it make a difference? He used to strike her unprovoked. “I never meant to humiliate you,” she said. “But if you want to talk about humiliation, let’s talk about how you degraded me for two solid years.”

  “How can you say that? I loved you. I didn’t—”

  “Yes, Patrick.” Her hands trembled, and a ball of nerves vibrated inside her belly. “You degraded me. Hurt me, both physically and mentally.”

  He went silent. She took a deep breath to steady her shaking body.

  “But you promised you’d never leave me.” The voice of a fearful child. A man whose mother left him behind and alone with an abusive father.

  A plea causing her tough stance to soften. No. Don’t let him take you there.

  “I would’ve stayed if you’d gotten help, but you wouldn’t. So many times I asked you to, but you’d ignore me once I’d forgiven you. I never wanted our lives to turn out this way.”

  “No, Anna?” His voice rose, rapid and fierce. “All I know is you promised me you’d never leave. You’re a liar.”

  “No. What you’ve been doing to me is wrong. It’s abuse! I am done living in fear of you.”

  “I’ll get help.”

  She snorted. “No, you won’t. You’ve said that so many times, I’ve lost count.”

  Silence. Deadly silence. If she were standing in front of him, she’d be bracing herself for his strike.

  But she wasn’t.

  “Patrick, you need help. Not for us, but for yourself. There is no us. I no longer love you. Do you understand?”

  “Big talk since you’re so far away. What makes you think I can’t find you?”

  “Stop with the thr
eats. What are you going to do, fly to Germany and hunt me down? For what? To hurt me again. That is why I left you!” She inhaled deeply, conjured up what little kindness remained for him in her heart, and softly said, “Patrick, we don’t hurt the people we love.”

  “No, we don’t, Anna. And those divorce papers hurt me.”

  Click. The line went dead.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and threw the phone down at her side. The injustice of his remark stung. After all she’d been through, he viewed himself as the victim?

  A part of her wanted to call back, scream at him every bottled-up comment stored away over the last two years. But she didn’t. Because she’d faced him, spoke up, and jumped a hurdle in the battle to regain her life. A plus in her column.

  But it bothered her how Patrick lived in an alternate reality, because with that mindset, there was nothing predictable about his behavior.

  Chapter 19

  Ricky Martin’s techno beat softly vibrated through the car and woke Anna. From her reclined position in the passenger seat, she saw houses, not the rolling Belgian fields and grazing cows she’d fallen asleep to.

  She rolled her head toward Josef, whose gaze focused on the road, his brows furrowed as if he was in deep thought. “Where are we?”

  He glanced over. “Just outside of Dinant.”

  She pulled the lever to straighten her seat back and stretched her stiff neck. “Was I asleep long?”

  “Almost an hour.”

  Two days ago, they’d set their plans in motion for the trip to Belgium. Now they were on their way, starting with a leisurely drive through the beautiful country, where Josef had selected places to stop. Then, on to the medieval city of Bruges for their two-night stay. The plans had put her in a fantastic mood.

  Then yesterday, while she’d worked from the guesthouse on her column, Patrick’s texts began rolling in. Text after text, demanding to know when she planned on coming home. After he’d played the victim card before ending their last call, it became clear he would never give up. It left her more concerned about his mental health, but certain there was nothing more she could do to help him.