My Best Friend's Ex (Daring Divorcees)

by Shannyn Schroeder

  But if she walked away from this fabulous opportunity, what was she giving it up for? A guy who only wanted to share a bed with her but not his whole life? She could find a guy for a casual relationship; it wasn’t hard. For the first time in forever, she’d believed she was building something more. Trevor seemed to block every path of progress, though, so maybe he didn’t want this relationship.

  She finished her coffee and went back to her hotel room. Her clothes still sat in her suitcase. Her camera equipment covered every available surface. She looked at her laptop. She wanted to video chat with Hannah, to see a smiling, friendly face.

  And yeah, maybe she wanted to get a feel for what was going on with Trevor. Looking at the time, she did some quick calculating. Trevor must’ve called on his lunch break. She wasn’t sure if Hannah would be home from camp because the time varied each day, but now would be a good time to try.

  She sat in front of her laptop and dialed Hannah. The ringing echoed in the room as bubbles circled the screen waiting for connection. A moment later, Hannah’s beautiful face filled the screen.

  “Oh my God. Why haven’t you called? It’s been like forever.”

  Callie’s throat tightened. She missed her so much. She forced a smile. “Don’t be a drama queen. It’s been a couple of days. It’s not like you’ve been sitting around waiting for me to call.”

  “I know, but I have so much news!” she squealed in excitement.

  Callie would’ve given anything to wrap her arms around Hannah to enjoy whatever was making her happy. Luckily, Callie didn’t need to talk. Hannah had plenty to say. Sam, the cute boy from band, had taken her out on a date, with Trevor’s knowledge, she pointed out. Trevor even drove them and hadn’t acted like a dork. It was the best. Date. Ever.

  And Callie was missing all of it.

  When Hannah wound down, she asked, “So how’s the job? Is it awesome? I bet it is.”

  “It is pretty awesome. Except for all of the stupid meetings I’ve been to. I don’t care about projections and demographics. But they insist, so I sit there and doodle while pretending to pay attention.”

  Hannah giggled.

  “So how are things there? With…Evan?” She couldn’t even bring herself to say Trevor’s name. She was a sad case.

  “Fine. I mean, Evan’s grounded for like a week. And he has to do extra chores.” She laughed again. “Dad has him working on that pitiful garden you left.”

  “What? My garden was cute.”

  “The flowers are all dying. Your thumb isn’t exactly green.”

  One more thing that she’d tried and failed at.

  “Anyway, Dad spent a lot of time talking to both of us.”

  “About?”

  “Lots of stuff. Him drinking, why he got so mad at Evan, how hard it is for him. I never really knew, you know? I don’t remember the bad stuff. I knew what Mom told us when they divorced, but he’s always just been my dad. I didn’t know how hard being sober is for him.”

  Callie didn’t really know, either. She’d met alcoholics of course, but no one really close to her. No one she would get that personal with. Except Trevor. She swallowed hard. “Did he drink?”

  “No.” Hannah’s eyes widened.

  Relief eased through Callie’s body. She wanted to ask how Trevor was doing. Was he as messed up as she felt? But asking Hannah seemed creepy.

  “He misses you.”

  Callie’s stomach flipped, and another lump formed in her throat. She couldn’t speak.

  “The day you left, after he talked to Evan, he went to your house. He didn’t know you were gone.” Her eyes narrowed on Callie. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

  She forced some words out. “He was mad. We needed space.”

  “Thousands of miles.” Hannah waited a beat. “You should call him.”

  She should, but she didn’t know what she was supposed to say. She nodded. “I will.”

  “When?”

  Leave it to Trevor’s kid to close all loopholes.

  She didn’t want to lie to Hannah, but she also wasn’t going to confide all of her insecurities to a teenager, either. “I’m not sure. I have some thinking to do.”

  Hannah leaned closer to the camera and stared at Callie. “What’s there to think about? You guys love each other, and when someone matters to you, you talk to them.”

  Heavy words coming from a kid. Definitely Lisa’s kid. Lisa had always laid the facts out to her. Especially the facts Callie wanted to avoid. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “That’s always what adults say.” She huffed.

  While she was right, it didn’t make it less true. “One day, you’ll be an adult, and you’ll understand exactly how complicated life can get.”

  “Whatever. Just call him soon, okay? He’s all mopey. He tries to hide it, but he sucks at that.”

  Callie smiled. She loved this girl. Hell, she loved all of them, but she wasn’t sure love was enough to make things work. “Soon.”

  They said their goodbyes, and Callie flopped back on the bed. She scrolled through her laptop to see if there was a movie or something to watch. But her mind kept going back to Chicago. In all the years she’d been traveling, everything had felt like a way station. Nothing had ever felt permanent.

  Until she’d moved into that little coach house behind Lisa. Now when she thought of home, she imagined the house and yard and Trevor and the kids. The pictures were all intermingled in her mind. The worry about losing all of it ate at her. If she and Trevor couldn’t fix their relationship, get to a point where they were equals—partners—she wouldn’t have any home at all.

  And that was the worst feeling she’d ever had.

  …

  Trevor busied himself with everything he could possibly think of. He worked all day, teaching Evan what he could. As it turned out, his son had natural ability, and he loved working construction. Trevor was trying to wrap his head around the idea that maybe college wasn’t the path for Evan. He attempted to be more open-minded, but he wasn’t very good at it.

  After they ate dinner at night, Trevor found some other project to occupy himself. If he did nothing, he felt the world close in on him. Thoughts of Callie and the fact that he’d fucked up so bad that he’d driven her away consumed him. Although he didn’t know how to fix it, he focused on what he could do, what he had to offer. He would be ready when she came home. He had to believe she would return to him.

  She wouldn’t even answer the phone when he called. Hannah had spoken to her, so he knew she was alive. He called every day, and she never answered. When he heard the voicemail pick up, he disconnected. He needed to talk to her.

  He repainted the basement, which was unfinished and didn’t need to be painted, but he couldn’t figure out what else needed to be fixed. After the brushes were cleaned and the slate-gray paint tucked under the stairs, he went out to the back deck and sat on the steps.

  The temperature was still warm, but a cool breeze kicked up. Cicadas chirped and fireflies flickered. When he was younger, this had been his favorite time of year. It was perfect for festivals and barbecues, music and laughter. He’d gotten away from all of that with sobriety, which was sad. His life had become stagnant. All he had was work.

  Until Callie. She’d broken the monotony of his life. She was the brilliant sunrise after a long night. Her laughter lifted him no matter how bad things felt.

  He needed to get her back.

  The screen door opened behind him. Hannah leaned out. “She’s coming back.”

  “Huh?”

  She came all the way out, and the door slammed behind her. That would be his next project—adjust the closer so the door didn’t slam.

  Hannah sat next to him. “Callie. She goes away, but she always comes back. Always.”

  “Maybe not this time.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because she told me she’s coming back. And Callie doesn’t lie.”


  “Did she say when she was coming back?”

  “Sheesh. Do I gotta do everything? And you guys say teenagers are bad. Talk to her.”

  Trevor shook his head. “Tried. She won’t answer.”

  “Mom never taught you anything about being tricky.” She pulled out her phone. “Callie won’t answer for you, but she always does for me.”

  His daughter was brilliant. It hadn’t occurred to him to call from a different phone. He took the cell. “Thanks.”

  Hannah went back inside, leaving him with the sounds of the bugs and his hammering heart. He’d gotten used to calling Callie, knowing she wouldn’t answer. He had the solution in his hand. After all those failed calls, he should know what he wanted to say, but his mind blanked.

  He stood and paced the yard. What words could he say? Of course, he owed her an apology, but it wasn’t enough. He’d apologized every time he screwed up, but he kept making the same mistakes. He had to convince her that he could change.

  The more he procrastinated, the more likely it was he wouldn’t call. He scrolled through the phone and hit send. On the third ring, he was ready to hang up, his stomach already in knots.

  “Hey, hon. What’s up? Miss me already?”

  God, her voice. It was the warm sunshine he’d been missing for days. “Actually, yeah.”

  Silence.

  “It’s me, not Hannah. Don’t hang up.”

  “Trevor? What’s wrong? Are the kids okay?” She went from sunny to frightened in a breath.

  “The kids are fine.”

  “Then why are you using Hannah’s phone?”

  “Because you wouldn’t answer when I called from mine.” He inhaled deeply, totally at a loss for words.

  “Why are you calling?”

  So many reasons. He needed to organize his thoughts so he wouldn’t sound like a rambling lunatic. He should’ve written this down. Made a list. Something.

  “I’m going to hang up if you don’t say something.”

  “How was your flight?”

  “It was five days ago.”

  “Yeah.” Man, he sounded stupid. “How’s Italy?”

  “Beautiful.”

  Crap. Was she going to offer anything other than one-word answers?

  “If you’re looking for small talk, I’m done.”

  “Don’t.” Another deep breath. “I miss you. I’m calling because I miss you more than I ever thought possible. I’ve been calling you every day, but you don’t answer. I should’ve figured out by now what to say, but I don’t know.”

  She sighed, and her breath whistled across thousands of miles.

  “I screwed up, Callie. I know I did. I’m sorry. I also know that giving you an apology isn’t enough. But I don’t know what else I can do or say when you’re on the other side of the world.”

  “I don’t know what you could say, either. What you said the other night hurt. I would never do anything to hurt you or the kids. I know I’m not their mom, but I love them.”

  “I know.” His heart sank. She loved the kids. No mention of how she felt about him. “I was scared for Evan. I lashed out at you, and it wasn’t fair. But you ran away again. And not just for a day or a weekend. You flew to Italy for a job that would take you away from us for at least a year. That scares me.”

  “I didn’t run away. It’s not like I fabricated a reason for leaving. You knew this job offer was on the table.”

  “But you said you wanted to stay in Chicago.” To build a life here. He almost said it, but he didn’t want to start a fight or pressure her.

  “I needed to get away.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t know how to deal with you. With us. It’s so freaking complicated. When I need to figure things out, I need space.”

  Her words made him feel like he was losing her all over again. “We can make it work.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. You say you want me there, to have a life with you, but you also want to keep me separate from the most important part of your life. It’s okay for me to be the fun aunt or chauffeur for the kids, but I have no voice in anything that matters.”

  He opened his mouth to argue but clamped his jaw shut.

  “I don’t need to be their mom. I just want to feel like I matter.”

  “You do matter, Callie. You matter to all of us.”

  “Words are easy, Trevor.”

  “Tell me what you need from me.”

  “That’s just it. I’m not sure. I wish I could give you a road map for this, but I don’t think one exists.”

  They sat in silence for a few moments. Trevor was afraid to say anything and more afraid to hang up.

  “I think we both need to take this time while I’m away to figure out what we want and need.”

  “That’s easy. I need you. Here with me.”

  “And what if I can’t give you that?”

  More silence.

  “I’ll be home in a couple weeks. We’ll talk then.”

  “Can I call you before then?”

  “Why?”

  “To talk to you. To make sure you’re okay. To hear your voice.”

  “I won’t promise to answer. This is hard for me.”

  He hated knowing she was torn up over him. He wished he could pull her into his arms and kiss her, because in those moments, nothing else mattered. They could do anything. “Okay. Be careful. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.”

  “Goodbye,” she whispered before disconnecting.

  Trevor stayed out in the yard, holding the phone as if it were a way to hold on to Callie.

  …

  For another week, Callie thought long and hard about what she wanted and expected from Trevor. He continued to call every day, but she didn’t pick up. She hadn’t figured out what to say. But now he always left a message. Mostly short things to let her know he was thinking of her.

  Her productivity suffered. By the end of her second week in Italy, she’d had enough. She wasn’t happy with the photos she’d submitted. Something was missing.

  Her personal life had never taken a toll on her professional life like this. Then again, she’d never been in love like this before. The more time she spent in Italy, the more she missed Chicago.

  She missed home.

  That was the deciding factor. Even if she and Trevor couldn’t make anything work, she wanted to be in Chicago, part of the kids’ lives, building a place for herself.

  She had a lengthy conversation with Victoria, offered them a cut-rate price on the shots she’d taken in Rome, and gave them the names of some of her acquaintances who she thought would be interested in the job. She agreed to do a Great Britain tour in a few weeks. She also left the door open to do other tours in the future if they wanted. But she couldn’t commit to the full long-term project.

  Such was the story of her life.

  Long-term wasn’t her thing. It was a niggling fear that settled into the pit of her stomach. Maybe Trevor was right. She routinely ran away because she didn’t know how to stick it out. She said she needed space because that’s what she thought worked. Looking back, it never had. She took off, and people gave up on her.

  But she’d never had anyone like Trevor, someone who believed in her. Someone who would wait for her, who knew she would come back. She wanted to try to stick it out. She flew back to Chicago without telling anyone. Hannah wasn’t expecting her for at least a few more days. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like she could hide out at home and go unnoticed.

  Her flight landed at nearly ten at night. By the time she got her luggage and a car to go home, she was exhausted. When the car dropped her off in front of the house, she saw the lamps glowing in the kids’ rooms. The blue light of the TV flickered in the living room. As much as she felt like she was home, she couldn’t just walk in, so she sneaked into the backyard as silently as possible.

  Unlocking her door, she pushed in and met a wall of muggy air. This was the price she paid for not telling anyone she was coming back.
In the past, she’d call Lisa, who then came over and turned on the AC so the house wasn’t miserable. She dragged her suitcases into the living room and turned on the unit.

  While the air began to blow, she shoved her equipment bags into her darkroom and opened her suitcase full of clothes. She took the pile of dirty laundry and put it in the washing machine. Then she tucked her suitcase in the closet and took her toiletries to the bathroom. She accomplished all of this with minimal light because she wasn’t ready to draw attention to her arrival.

  She took a cool shower, happy to be in her own space with her soap and quality water pressure. Whenever she traveled, it was the little things like this that she missed.

  Until now, a nagging voice sounded in her head. This time, hot water had been the least of her concerns. Trudging upstairs, she walked to her bed, feeling like something was off. She looked around her room. Everything seemed to be in its place. Sinking to the mattress, she flopped back. That was when she saw it—a beautiful clear skylight right over her bed.

  The recurring lump in her throat was back. While she’d been avoiding him, Trevor had installed the skylight she’d joked about wanting. It was amazingly clear, giving her a little slice of evening sky to stare at.

  It would’ve been easier to appreciate if her eyes hadn’t filled with tears. She was turning into such a sap.

  She sat up in bed. So he put in a window for her. He was a carpenter, for Pete’s sake. It wasn’t like he’d carved her a sculpture out of marble. This was what he did for a living. She didn’t cry over a man. She was the kind of woman who took huge bites out of life, content to go it alone.

  Swiping at the tears, she took a deep breath. Time for her to figure out what she wanted and needed. Life was too short to waffle.

  Just then, a noise outside caught her attention. She stood and looked out the window from her loft, which offered a full view of the back of the house and most of the yard. Trevor had come through the back door.

  He stood there and looked up at her house. Callie’s heart thudded. He couldn’t see her. At least she didn’t think so. Watching from the edge of her stairs, she saw a man who looked tired. Defeated. Sad. But he still hadn’t asked for help. It was as if he didn’t trust her to be there for him, as if she couldn’t be counted on. Unless he didn’t want to face conflict with his ex-mother-in-law. Then he was happy to ask for her help.