Room Service

by Maren Stoffels

  I put it in the mail yesterday,

  right in time for the weekend.

  And did he cry when he read it,

  like I did?

  “Hey, missy! You daydreaming?” A man behind me rings his bell impatiently. “The light’s green!”

  Startled, I ride off as quickly as I can. My ribs still feel a bit sore after falling off my bike last night.

  It took me a long time to get to sleep. The thought of the bike with the big headlight kept me awake.

  Who was it? What did they want? And what would have happened if Fender hadn’t come along?

  At the last stoplight before the Riverside, I have to wait again. The bike path is busy. There’s a bunch of tourists on rental bikes, all clumped together. When the light turns green, they set off at once. I almost lose my balance as they force me up against the curb.

  In a flash, I see a dark-brown bike among the other bikes. It has a big front light, like a car’s headlight.

  My body reacts faster than my mind does. It feels as if I’m falling, my heart skipping a beat.

  He’s here again.

  That’s not possible. Is it?

  I look again, but I don’t see him anywhere. The cyclist has vanished into thin air.

  * * *

  “Hey!” Kate squeals excitedly when I get to the Riverside. “You’re the first one here.”

  I give her a kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday.”

  I have to forget about the cyclist. I’m probably just mistaken anyway. Why would anyone want to follow me? Besides, this town’s huge. There must be plenty of dark bikes with big headlights like that.

  “What are you thinking about, Spinner?”

  “Spinner?”

  “Yeah,” says Kate. “Your head always seems to be busy spinning yarns.”

  I feel my cheeks burning. Should I tell Kate about the cyclist? I take a deep breath, but then Kate’s expression freezes. She’s looking at something behind me, and when I turn around, I see Lucas approaching. He’s carrying an enormous bear.

  Kate sighs. “That’s not for me, is it?”

  I laugh. “I’m afraid so.”

  Lucas always gives such weird gifts. Last winter he gave me a coupon for an all-you-can-eat spare ribs restaurant, even though I’ve been a vegetarian for years.

  “Happy birthday!” Lucas holds out the bear to Kate. “So you’re not lonely at night.”

  “You shouldn’t have.” Kate makes a face. The bear is almost as big as she is.

  “Where’s Fender?”

  “He’s on his way.” Kate looks down the street, fiddling nervously with her shirt. Is she really afraid he’s not going to show?

  But then I see Fender. As always, he’s wearing a casually unbuttoned shirt with his usual denim jacket on top of it. His face looks gray, like he hasn’t slept for days.

  “The gang’s all here!” shouts Lucas.

  “Happy birthday,” says Fender, kissing Kate on the cheek. I raise my hand halfway but then let it fall. He completely ignores me, as if I’m made of air.

  “Now we can finally head inside!” Lucas puts an arm around Fender, and they walk to the entrance.

  Kate slings the bear over her shoulder and hooks her arm through mine.

  “Shall we?”

  At the entrance to the Riverside, there’s a doorman wearing a top hat and a uniform. I see him glance at the bear, but he keeps a straight face. He swings the door open for us, and we step into the hotel.

  Sure, I knew the Riverside would be fancy, but I could never have imagined this.

  In the middle of the lobby, a gigantic chandelier is suspended from the high ceiling. There’s a Persian carpet just in front of the stairs, and there are lounge chairs beside a grand piano that’s so shiny I can see all four of us reflected in it. Light fixtures like big torches hang on the columns that support the first floor.

  I feel like I just walked onto a movie set. Like I’m playing the lead role in a major production.

  I can’t take my eyes off the gold clock above the entrance. It has all kinds of different hands indicating not just the time, but other things too. I recognize a few of the images around the edge of the clock as astrological symbols. I look for my star sign, the one that’s like a V with a loop attached: Capricorn.

  Lucas follows my gaze. “Cool, huh?”

  “Yeah, totally.”

  Behind me I hear Kate telling Fender how many celebrities have played this piano.

  “Are you sure you want to share a room with her?” Lucas says with a grin. “I might snore, but she’ll keep you up all night with her chattering.”

  “You have a point.” I smile. “I’ll think about it.”

  Kate walks over to us with two keys in her hand. They’re the old-fashioned kind, on big keychains. Most hotels use keycards these days, but everything about the Riverside is traditional.

  “Got the keys! Are you coming? We need to go to the top floor.”

  My stomach flips when Kate walks to the elevator.

  “I…I’ll take the stairs,” I say quickly.

  “The stairs?” Lucas looks at me in surprise. “Why would you want to do that?”

  “It keeps me fit. Anyway, the five of us will never fit inside that elevator.”

  “Five?”

  “Us and the bear.”

  Lucas and Kate laugh, but Fender just raises his eyebrows. His gaze moves away from my eyes and down. The way he looks at me…

  I can feel the blood rushing in my ears. Why do I let him get to me like that?

  As I walk to the stairs, I glance at the exit. What I really want to do is run outside.

  How am I going to survive a whole weekend with Fender?

  But he’ll still be here after this weekend too. He’s at school every day, in every class, during every break. As long as I hang out with Kate and Lucas, I’ll get Fender thrown in for free.

  When I turn around, Kate gives me a little wave. She looks radiant, as if she’s giving off light.

  I can’t leave. She’s so happy we’re all here. I think she really was afraid Fender wouldn’t show.

  If I go now, I’ll spoil her birthday weekend, and she doesn’t deserve that. She was there for me on my very first day at school, and now I have to be here for her.

  I turn onto the stairs, but then I bump into someone, really hard. It’s so painful that my eyes fill with tears, and I stand there, rubbing my shoulder.

  Then I look back, but to my surprise no one’s there. Whoever it was just went on walking.

  * * *

  “I’ll let you do the honors.” Kate hands me our key and steps aside. I can already hear Lucas’s enthusiasm all the way from the boys’ room.

  My heart is pounding as I turn the key in the lock. It’s like I’m a kid again and unwrapping a big present.

  As the door opens, I actually feel my jaw drop. The room has a golden glow, which almost hurts my eyes. Cream-colored carpet covers the floor, and there are paintings of historical hunting scenes on the walls.

  I’m surprised to see a tray on the coffee table with two glasses on it. Beside it is a bottle of champagne in a cooler. The hotel clearly thinks all the rooms will have adult occupants.

  There’s even a separate work area with a mahogany desk and two deep leather chairs.

  But the most amazing thing about the room is the gigantic four-poster bed, with its silk curtains and dozens of cushions in all shapes and sizes.

  When I turn around, I see that Kate isn’t looking at the room. She’s looking at me. Her eyes are gleaming.

  “You up for it?”

  Before I can ask what she means, Kate runs and jumps onto the bed. The comforter flies up as she lands, and then it slowly descends. Kate lies facedown in one of the pillows and mumbles something u
nintelligible.

  “How was it?”

  “This is something you need to experience for yourself, Spinner,” Kate replies. “There are no words to describe it.”

  I take a run-up and fly onto the bed, landing next to Kate. My ribs are still painful, but the soft mattress makes everything okay. I sink so deep into it that it feels like I’ll never be able to stand up again. We roll onto our backs and gaze up at the ceiling with its spotlights. It’s like lying under a starry sky.

  “I don’t know if I can sleep in here,” I say. “Seems a shame to close your eyes.”

  Kate grins. “After we’ve finished that bottle of champagne, you’ll be able to sleep. Oh, and the boys have a bottle too.”

  My thoughts immediately return to Fender, and the bad feeling is back again.

  “What are you thinking about?” Kate sits up and grabs my hair.

  I can feel her braiding my hair behind my back. She’s really skilled and quick.

  “I was thinking about Fender,” I blurt out.

  “Fender? How come?”

  I can’t be honest with her. She’ll never understand.

  “You’ve known each other a long time, haven’t you?”

  “Our whole lives. Our moms went to mother-to-be yoga classes together,” Kate says with a smile. “That’s why we’re both so zen.”

  If there’s one person I know who’s incapable of sitting still, it’s Kate.

  “What do you like best about him?”

  Maybe I need to hear it from someone else. Maybe then I’ll finally see Fender in a different light.

  “The way he’s so musical,” says Kate without having to think about it. “When he’s playing, it’s like nothing else exists for a moment. Fender is so different from Lucas, much more thoughtful. Sometimes you can almost literally hear him thinking. He’s just different from all the other guys I know.”

  I think about Fender’s dark eyes. When I’m with him, it feels like I’m standing in line for a terrifying roller coaster. Yeah, he certainly is different.

  Kate takes a hair tie off her wrist and puts the braid over my shoulder. “Done.”

  “I never wear my hair in a braid.”

  “It suits you, though.” Kate nods approvingly. “So what do you think of Fender?”

  I feel myself blushing. If I lie now, she’s going to notice.

  So all I say is “I…I sometimes have the feeling he’s not doing that great.”

  Kate’s face clouds over. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t you think he looks kind of bad?”

  “Yeah…,” Kate says, fiddling with the ring on her pinky finger. It’s a child’s ring with a silver four-leaf clover on it.

  “And yesterday evening I bumped into him in the park and he seemed pretty…preoccupied,” I say.

  “I know what you mean.” Kate slides off the bed. “I’ll have a word with him.”

  She was suddenly there by the stairs.

  Just as well I got away before she could take a good look at me.

  I saw her clutching her shoulder, though.

  I hope it hurt when I bumped into her.

  She’s dead.

  How can she be dead and I didn’t even realize?

  I drum my fingers on the windowsill. From here I have a beautiful view out across the river to the houses opposite, but I don’t care. I couldn’t care less about this whole hotel.

  How am I supposed to celebrate Kate’s birthday this weekend when she’s…But maybe it’s not true. Maybe she just wanted to give me a scare.

  I reach into the inside pocket of my denim jacket. The gold envelope is still there.

  I’ve read the words more times than I wanted to, but I couldn’t help it. They stabbed me like knives, over and over, but in a weird way it felt good. I deserve the punishment. The words are carved into me so I’ll never forget them.

  At first I thought Kate and Lucas had received letters too, but when I met them at the entrance, I could tell at once that I was the only one.

  What if it’s really true? What if she really did commit suicide because of what happened last year?

  A wave of nausea hits me.

  “Fender?” Lucas looks at me. “I asked you a question.”

  “What?”

  “Do you want to come for a swim?”

  Lucas points at his swim briefs, which he’s already put on. Typical Lucas. He’s not bothered that he’s at a five-star hotel, where that sort of thing is completely inappropriate.

  His bare legs look tanned under the bright-yellow fabric. Next to him, I feel like a milk bottle. She always used to tease me about it, to the point where it got irritating. Now I’d give anything if she’d tease me again, just one more time.

  It can’t be true, can it? That she’s gone? I’d have felt something like that.

  “No, go without me,” I say. I can’t go swimming with them, pretending to be happy, when I feel like this. I’m sure Kate will realize immediately that something’s up—and then the questions will start.

  What am I supposed to say to her? That the girl who used to be her best friend has committed suicide? Kate will break all over again, into a thousand pieces. I can’t do that to her.

  “Huh? Why aren’t you coming?”

  “Swollen toe.” I shrug. “Sucks.”

  “Are you kidding me? Now of all times!” Lucas flashes me a look of irritation. “Can’t you put a plastic bag over it or something?”

  “Nope. Doctor’s orders.”

  “Awesome.” Lucas stuffs a towel into his bag.

  I look outside again. A boat full of tourists is sailing along the river.

  “Are you guys ready?” I hear Kate ask.

  “Fender’s not coming. Something about a swollen toe.”

  “What a bunch of crap!” Kate looks at me. “You can just sit on the side, can’t you?”

  I want them to go away. I need to be alone. I have to read the letter again.

  “You guys go,” I say. “I’ll see you later.”

  “But…”

  “No, it’s not happening, Kate.”

  There’s a moment’s silence. I bet Kate’s going to give it another try. She can be really insistent when she doesn’t get her way. She’s always been like that.

  “Hey, where’s your guitar?” she says then.

  I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck. “What do you mean?”

  Kate looks around the room. “You always bring it to parties, so why not this time?”

  “I…I forgot it.”

  “Forgot it?” Kate shakes her head. She doesn’t believe me. Of course she doesn’t. I used to drag that thing around with me everywhere. No one ever needed to put on music. I was the jukebox. I could play everything. My fingers knew every request.

  Kate and Lucas danced, and she listened. With her head in her hands, and a dreamy look in her eyes. She was the reason I played until my fingers cramped up.

  “But what about my birthday present?” Kate says. “You always give me a song every year!”

  I should have known she’d bring that up. The tradition began when Kate said she already has everything. So every year I’d write a song and play it specially for her.

  But how can I play guitar now that she isn’t here anymore? I haven’t touched my guitar for almost a year now.

  “Fender can play without a guitar.”

  All three of us look up in surprise. Linnea is standing in the doorway, blushing a bit.

  “Can’t you?”

  “What do you mean?” asks Lucas.

  “Well, he practices every day during classes. He mutters the lyrics and drums under his chair with his fingers.”

  Linnea’s words slowly shatter inside my head. Until now, only one person ever noticed that. It
was something between the two of us. Even Kate had never spotted my tic.

  When I’m nervous, I practice solos and I hear the tune in my head. It makes me feel calm.

  Why would Linnea of all people notice that?

  “Is that true?” Kate asks me. She bursts out laughing. “Weirdo!”

  “Of course it’s not,” I say loudly. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Linnea sees things that aren’t there.”

  I look at Linnea, who is hanging her head. What’s she doing here anyway? She should have been here. We’d have shared a room at the Riverside and we’d have made fun of the luxury.

  We were already making plans for after high school. The four of us were going to study in the same city.

  How can everything change in just one moment?

  I hate Linnea, with her innocent blue eyes. She has no idea whose place it is that she was so eager to take.

  “Come on, let’s go to the pool,” says Lucas, pulling Linnea along with him. As they head down the hallway, Kate gives me a searching look.

  Is she going to say something else about my guitar? I know that look on her face. She’s not letting it go.

  But I force myself to look back at her until my eyes start to water.

  Kate is the first to turn away and, without saying anything, she closes the door behind her.

  * * *

  I look at myself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. The skin under my eyes is thin and purple, and my cheeks are sunken.

  I look like some kind of junkie. My friends must have noticed too.

  I feel like I might collapse of exhaustion at any minute, and also like I’ll never be able to sleep again.

  I’m way too scared of the nightmares.

  Her inside a casket.

  Arms crossed and eyes shut.

  Did she suffer?

  How did she do it?

  Pills? Jumping? A noose?

  I press my fingertips to my temples. My head is exploding with questions.

  Then, suddenly, there are three loud knocks on the door. Startled, I look back. Could Lucas have forgotten something?