The Silent Daughter

by Kirsty Ferguson

  18

  Mia was nervous. Her hands were clammy, so she rubbed them down the sides of her dress, drying them. She didn’t know why she was so nervous; she saw him every day. So why was she almost fearful of what was going to happen, even though it was innocent?

  She found her way to the café, her textbook and a notebook tucked under her arm, searching for him. Where would he sit? What would he be wearing? Would he look different outside of school?

  ‘Mia!’ called a deep voice as she stood still, looking around for the man who the voice belonged to. Then Mia caught sight of him through the crowd, standing up, waving his hand above his head to get her attention. She saw women noticing him. The broad shoulders, the lightly stubbled and chiselled jawline, the tight jeans and the promise of what was underneath. She blushed at the thought.

  Weaving her way through the crowd, Mia finally arrived at his booth. Comfortable and plush, it was the perfect, if not a fancy, place to meet.

  ‘Can I order you a coffee or hot chocolate, Mia?’ he asked attentively.

  ‘No thanks, Mr Simmonds, I’m perfect.’

  He motioned for her to sit and she took up a position opposite him.

  ‘Well, that’s not going to work, Mia. How am I supposed to show you the work with you sitting across the other side of the table? Come around this side.’ He patted the spot right next to him and suddenly Mia’s mouth went dry. She swallowed but all she could hear was a clicking sound. As soon as she sat down next to him, she poured herself a large glass of water from the jug in the centre of the table, draining half of it immediately before her thirst was quenched. Mr Simmonds looked on in amusement.

  ‘Haven’t been here before?’ he asked, a cheeky, slightly lopsided smile on his face which left her wondering what he meant. Had she been to this café before or had she been in this situation before? Who knew? She distracted herself by rearranging her books on the table.

  He took a sip of his coffee. ‘You sure you don’t want something to eat or drink?’

  Mia said no, but her stomach decided right at that moment to grumble loudly. She had been so nervous this morning that there had been no appetite for toast.

  Mr Simmonds smiled at her. ‘We’ll have a bowl of wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli on the side,’ he told the waitress who had walked up to their table

  ‘Thank you, Mr Simmonds,’ she managed to get out.

  ‘Mia, when we’re not at school, I’d like you to call me David.’

  Blushing deeply, she said, ‘David.’ It felt weird, wrong somehow, like she had stepped across an invisible barrier she hadn’t meant to and maybe could never come back from.

  She was sure David could feel her tension, as he began telling her a story about his early teaching career, one that was designed to make her laugh and relax her a bit. It worked. She laughed at the appropriate parts and did feel herself begin to calm down. Just breathe. She sat back into the chair, making herself more comfortable, sitting slightly closer to David.

  Mia was feeling so grown up that she wished they could share a bottle of wine together. Shocked at herself, she tried to keep in mind why she was really there, but the heady scent of his aftershave, and the fact that he too had moved closer somewhere along the way so that his thigh now touched hers, had her caught up in the moment.

  The waitress arrived with their food and put it on the table in front of them. She had also brought more water for Mia, who gratefully poured herself another drink.

  ‘You know, when you mother first approached me about giving you extra tutoring, I was a little surprised. I thought she’d get some university student to tutor you. I’m a little bit more expensive normally but I agreed to give her a generous discount because you’re my favourite student.’

  ‘I am?’ she asked, taken completely by surprise. Her eyebrows knitted together, even as her eyes screwed up, her mouth wide open. ‘No, I’m not,’ she teased, still not getting it.

  ‘Actually, you are. You’re a hard worker, you’re polite to everyone, and you’re easy on the eyes.’ He looked at her directly as he said the last part.

  Mia blushed deeply, the warmth spreading from her toes to her face. Surely he didn’t just say that. Mia had had a crush on Mr Simmonds, David, since the start of the school year. She daydreamed about him, fantasised what it would be like to kiss those full lips, but she never imagined in a million years that he might have felt the same way. He was only ten years older than her, and that was nothing. She conveniently pushed away the thought that she was his student, and nothing could ever happen between them, but a harmless flirtation made her feel grown up. After all the nastiness with Oliver, someone desiring her in a good way would be nice, and even better that she liked him back.

  All these thoughts ran through her mind with lightning speed as she was wondering what to do with the compliment. David took a sip of his coffee, watching her intently.

  ‘Are you all right? Was that too forward?’

  ‘No… I just… I just didn’t think you felt like… that.’

  ‘Why don’t we change the subject for now?’ he said, and she breathed a sigh of relief, her heartbeat settling back into its normal rhythm.

  ‘So, why are you failing maths?’ It was such a direct question that Mia found herself wishing they were talking about their mutual attraction again.

  ‘It’s not as easy as just failing maths. I feel like I’m failing at life.’ She had never said that out loud before. She had thought it plenty of times, but never said it to another soul.

  ‘Why on earth would you be failing at life? I looked over your academic scores and report cards before meeting you today. You seem to be a model student who is always willing to help out others, but then something happened, teachers noticed changes in your behaviour. You’ve become withdrawn, antisocial even. Do you want to tell me why? What’s going on? Is there something happening at home?’

  Tears began to fill her eyes. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I think my parents are going to get a divorce. I think my dad is cheating on Mum, he’s not nice to her, I know he loves us, but he is distancing himself, like he’s getting ready to go somewhere.’ Mia couldn’t believe how much she was sharing.

  ‘Have you talked to either one of your parents about this?’ His concern was palpable, his eyes soft and probing.

  ‘My mum lives in a dream state half the time. She’s either loving and caring or all up in my face yelling at me. It’s like she has a switch that is regularly flipped. I don’t know how to talk to her any more.’

  ‘And your dad?’ he asked, crossing his legs, his jeans pulling tight across his crotch. She couldn’t help but wonder if he had done that deliberately.

  ‘Can’t talk to him either, he’s rarely home. Makes excuses to work late, comes home and I’ve caught a whiff of perfume on him before. That’s why I think he’s cheating.’

  David reached over and covered her hand with his for a moment that was so fleeting she wasn’t even sure it had happened. ‘And school? Is your home life the only thing affecting your schoolwork?’

  She looked at his beautiful face, imagining what it would feel like to touch the stubble on his cheeks, to run her fingertip gently along his full bottom lip, to inhale the woodsy scent at the hollow of his neck.

  He watched her staring at him before giving her a lazy smile.

  ‘Like what you see?’ he asked, and she felt the heat building again, but this time it was between both of them. The heat of longing, of passion, of doing something forbidden.

  ‘Yes,’ she whispered, before clearing her throat and looking down, playing with the saltshaker. This couldn’t happen, no matter how much she wanted it, and it was clear he wanted it too.

  ‘There’s this boy,’ she began.

  ‘Oh yes. A boyfriend, perhaps?’ He was teasing her, mock jealously in his voice.

  ‘No, the opposite. I gave him a tour of the school on his first day, and he hasn’t left me alone since. He’s been… he’s harassing me.’


  ‘How do you mean?’ David, all business, sat forward, staring at her intently, waiting to listen to her tale.

  ‘He follows me everywhere. I see him down the street, at the movies, on the bus going to my house. He’s always taking photos of me.’ She found once she opened up, she couldn’t stop, it just poured from her. ‘I’m… scared of him. He’s grabbed me before, shoved me into the girl’s toilets, I got past him, but I don’t know what he would have done to me had I not got out.’ This time the tears did come. She had been so stressed about Oliver and his stalking that she hadn’t realised how much it had been affecting her until she talked about it. How stressed it was making her. Her hair was falling out, for goodness sake.

  ‘We’ll go see the principal on Monday morning,’ David said immediately.

  ‘My mum has already been there and done that. It made no difference.’ She began to cry again and this time David gathered her up in his arms and drew her to him. Immediately her tears turn to soft sobs then stopped altogether, yet still she didn’t move away and he didn’t move away either. She liked being held by him. Safe, warm, enveloped. She felt safe. He rubbed her back, low down, over her shirt and she put her hands inside his jacket, reaching around his waist, emboldened by his touch. She never wanted to let go, and when he moved one hand, slightly raising the back of her top so his hand touched her bare skin, it was like a fire had been set alight in her soul.

  Mia jumped, his hand falling away from her back. ‘We shouldn’t do this,’ she said, leaping up from the table and walking fast from the crowded café, weaving her way in between tables and people. How she thought she could be with a teacher was beyond her.

  19

  Danni remembered that day so vividly, right down to the smell of chicken nuggets on her fingers, a snack for Alexandra and Noah after they had played outside, a favourite pastime of theirs in summer, in the sprinklers and exploring beyond the back yard, sun beating down on their heads so they came inside with burning scalps. She was going to make them wait for dinner, but it was still an hour away and she could see them staring longingly at the fridge. She had just hung up on Principal Peterson, incensed by his ruling on Oliver Marks. How dare he put her daughter in danger?

  Danni looked over at Mia, still curled up on the bed in the motel. Danni knew she was awake, the change in her breathing giving her away, but she stayed still, turned away from her, staring at the ugly painted concrete wall. This truly was a depressing place, she had to get Mia out of here as soon as she could.

  The knock on the door startled her. Danni didn’t want to answer it. It was probably the motel clerk again, but honestly, she didn’t want to see anyone. They knocked again.

  ‘Mrs Brooks? It’s Detective Shaun Jacobs. I need to talk to you. Please open the door.’

  Danni had nowhere to run to. She was in a room with one way out and he knew she was in there. Slowly, Danni slid the chain across and opened the door a crack.

  ‘ID, please,’ she said, protecting her and her daughter. He could be a reporter, anyone, in fact. She couldn’t just let him in, not when she suspected the fire had been deliberately lit. Their lives could still be in danger. The man showed her his ID and she stepped back, opening the door for him. His gaze was firmly on her. He looked past the unkempt hair, grey pallor and dark circles under her eyes. Her voice was croaky from disuse. It had been a week now since she had lost her loved ones and her home.

  ‘Mrs Brooks.’ He paused. ‘May I call you Danni?’ he asked politely.

  She pondered this question for a long while before eventually nodding.

  ‘Okay, Danni then. I have been assigned to your case and, in coordination with the arson squad, we have come to the conclusion that the fire at your house was suspicious.’ He looked her directly in the eye.

  ‘What does that mean?’ she asked, clearing her throat so the words would get past the lump in her throat.

  ‘It means that we are certain someone deliberately set the fire. There was an accelerant used. Petrol.’

  Danni remembered the smell of singed hair and what she identified as petrol on Mia. She had suspected as much, and she was quite sure she knew who had done it too. It was all she had been thinking about.

  ‘They tried to kill us,’ Mia whispered from the other side of the room. She was lying down, facing the wall. Her usual position.

  Detective Jacobs stared at Danni, not hearing Mia. ‘Is there anyone that you can think of that held a grudge against you or your family? Someone who might want to hurt any of you?’ He was intense, still staring at her, his gaze unwavering, waiting for her to crack, to give him a name.

  She felt like she was being led to the slaughter, that she would get a bolt between the eyes at any moment. ‘No. We didn’t have enemies, Detective Jacobs. I don’t know who did this. Is it possible that it was random?’ She hoped he would say yes.

  ‘There is a chance that it was a crime of opportunity. Do you remember anything out of the ordinary that night?’

  ‘Well, I locked myself out of the house early the morning of the fire. I couldn’t get back inside. Our dog, Pooch, was barking and howling, so I went out to see what he was going off at.’ She was sure she had told him this before.

  Detective Jacobs pulled out a small notebook from his jacket pocket. ‘Did you see anything or anyone suspicious?’

  ‘Honestly, no. It was dark and windy, anyone could have been there and I wouldn’t have seen or heard them,’ she apologised, feeling sweat beginning to pop out under her arms. She hoped he couldn’t smell her fear, her lies.

  ‘Based on the timing of the fire, early morning, we believe that the arsonist was intending on capturing you all in the fire. Also, the medical pathologist has come back with her findings.’ She waited for his big reveal. ‘Your children succumbed to smoke inhalation before the fire took hold.’ She let out a pent-up breath of relief. ‘But I’m afraid your husband did not,’ he said quietly, respectfully.

  ‘Thank you for letting me know,’ she said woodenly, staring back at him with wet eyes, willing him to just leave them alone. ‘I’m tired and I have things to take care of,’ she said looking over her shoulder towards Mia.

  He looked at her. ‘Of course, Danni. I’ll keep you up to date on the case.’

  ‘Thanks. You do that,’ she said, ushering him out the door. Once he had gone, she reengaged the chain. Not that it would stop someone determined to get in, but it gave her some measure of peace. She could at least sleep – well, try to, anyway. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw her home burning, her family, dying. Smoke inhalation. At least her children hadn’t burnt to death. She felt the tears form behind her eyes but refused to give in to them. There would be time for tears after she found Oliver Marks. Once she had taken care of what needed to be done. Her family, their justice. Danni sat down on the bed and stared again at the wall, painted an ugly shade of grey.

  She had no idea how long she had been staring vacantly at the wall, but when the phone chirped beside her she woke from her reverie. She had been finding that she was losing time more and more frequently these days, not knowing what she had said or done. All she knew was that things were difficult at the moment and she was suffering mentally. She tried to comfort herself, she had Mia at least, and Mia had her.

  She checked the message. It was from Susan.

  Please rest your mind, I have arranged the funerals for Tuesday, two days from now.

  She gave the name of the funeral parlour and the address of the cemetery and the details of the service afterward. They would all share a service, together in death as they were in life. Danni was desperately close to tears. The thought of putting her family in the ground was more than she could bear. They would all be going into the same grave as there wasn’t much to bury after… after what had happened.

  I can’t thank you enough. I appreciate all that you’ve done for us.

  Danni dropped the phone on the bed and walked over to Mia’s bed.

  ‘Mia? Mia, you have to eat.’ Mi
a rolled over onto her back, the tears sliding down each side of her face, wetting her cheeks. ‘Oh, honey,’ Danni said, reaching out a hand to wipe the tears from her vacant face. Mia grabbed her hand and pushed it away from her. ‘How long are you going to punish me? What, because I didn’t die like the others?’ she demanded bitterly. ‘How was I supposed to know that I should have died that night? I think I lived for you. To take care of you, so let me take care of you, Mia.’

  She stared at her daughter, who merely rolled over again, her thin shoulders hitching as she cried. How was Danni going to get through to her when she didn’t even know what she was hating her for? Did her mind go to Oliver as well? Was that what it was? She believed he set the fire too and was blaming Danni for her part in this whole mess? Didn’t she blame herself enough?

  Danni hadn’t slept well. Actually, she hadn’t slept at all. Today, she was going to bury her family. When the sun streaked across the sky, Danni watched from behind the grimy window. At ten o’clock, a car was coming to take them to the cemetery where there would be a graveyard service for the Brooks family. Danni could hardly comprehend how they’d come to this. After hearing what Detective Jacobs had told her, she knew with absolute certainty who had set fire to her house, destroyed her family. She was going to try to pay a little visit to Oliver Marks and find out why he did what he did. She just had to find out where he lived first.

  Danni turned and looked at the lump in the other bed. It would take her a while to get Mia ready, so she’d better start now. She began by making toast and sitting on the edge of the bed, gently shaking Mia’s shoulder. She opened her eyes immediately, a vacant stare, a flash of… recognition, maybe?

  ‘We have to get ready, love. We’re… there’s… well, the funerals are today,’ Danni choked out. She didn’t know if she would be able to get Mia to the funeral. She was hard pressed to get her out of bed, to eat something, let alone attend the funerals of her siblings and dad. Danni gave Mia a small smile, but Mia did not return it. Slowly, Mia pushed back the covers and lowered her feet to the worn, harsh industrial carpet, the most Danni had seen her do of her own accord since that night.