Mastering Her Fear (Miami Masters Book 3)

by BJ Wane

  Like she’d been doing for months, she shoved aside concerns she couldn’t deal with right now. The sound of Jackson’s shower cranking on galvanized her into sliding out of bed and padding into the hall bath to get ready for the long day herself. Six-thirty in the morning was far earlier than she was used to getting up and moving about, but she was looking forward to helping with the fundraiser today, and meeting the friends she’d heard so much about over the years. Alex, Ryan and Matt had arrived last night and set up the petting pens, which left the long tables and chairs for eating and the donations table to be put out yet. Julie had been surprised to see the boxes of dog toys, leashes, collars, treats, beds and food pet stores had donated to hand out to adopters.

  Looking in the bathroom mirror, she traced over the red mark on her neck, a sign of Jackson’s possession she didn’t want to hide. A secret little thrill tickled her happy places when she imagined his friends seeing it. The rumble of a large vehicle and tires crunching over the gravel drive caught her attention as she opened the bathroom door, then Jackson snatched it away when he stepped out of his room. His size alone shrank the narrow hall, and with his damp hair curling around his ears and neck, framing his dark, rugged face, and those midnight blue eyes blazing an appreciative trail up her bare legs, her body went on high alert. A slow grin curled his mouth when those razor-sharp eyes zeroed in on the blatant outline of her erect nipples pressing against the thin cotton of her tee shirt.

  “Good morning to you too. You make me want to string you up again.”

  That slow, sexy drawl added to the tingles still teasing her nipples and pussy, and curled her toes. Julie didn’t look away as he stepped next to her, close enough his body heat added to the growing inferno inside her. “I’m not stopping you.”

  She caught her error right before Jackson tightened his jaw and stepped back, taking his smile and warmth with him. “Yes, you are. Let’s go. That was the caterer Zach hired. I need to meet them.”

  “I’m… mmmph!”

  Jackson covered her mouth with his large hand, cutting off her apology, his annoyance evident in his low growl as he bit out, “Don’t you dare apologize again. When you’re ready to talk, talk. If you need help with your nightmares, come to me. Until then, if I hear you apologize again, you won’t sit comfortably for a week.”

  He released her and stalked outside, leaving Julie to shake her head in confused wonderment. Why on earth would she get aroused from that threat? It made no sense, but the uncomfortable wetness now coating her panties couldn’t be denied. She forced her buttocks to relax on the way to the kitchen, then poured a large cup of coffee in the cup with a lid he’d left out for her. She needed the extra fuel to get through the day, and to figure out how to bridge the gap between them without risking losing him again. Jackson’s patience with her used to be infinite, but not any longer. And, damn it, that too was her fault.

  The kitchen door swung open again, only this time it was Matt who entered. She didn’t care much for the calculating gleam that always entered his eyes when he looked at her, but pasted on a cordial smile anyway. “Good morning. We have a busy day ahead of us.”

  “Yeah, which is why I wanted to take a minute now to apologize for you getting locked in the storeroom last weekend. It may have been my fault when I tossed the shovel and it landed hard enough against the door to push it closed. Jackson read me the riot act when we got here last night, but that latch has always been touchy,” he ended in self-defense.

  She could tell by the swirl of anger in Matt’s eyes the dressing down still pissed him off, but Julie just wanted to put the incident behind her. Besides, as traumatic as those few minutes locked in the dark had been, they had led to getting Jackson’s hands on her, which compelled her to be more forgiving.

  “No harm done, Matt, but thank you for taking a minute to explain. Shall we get to work?” She didn’t like being alone with him.

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t want the doc pissed at me again.”

  JULIE WANTED HIM, and even after the change in her in New York, time and distance, and now her secrets, Jackson still wanted her. But he needed leverage to get to those secrets, and right now, withholding what he’d given her the other day was all he had. Her first spanking had whetted her appetite and curiosity for more, and he’d hoped by giving her a taste of the pleasure he could give her through painful stimulation, and by reinforcing her trust in him, he would enable her to open up about the trauma responsible for the change in her. From the stress reflected on her face the last two days, he had to admit he might have to come up with another lesson soon if she couldn’t bring herself to tell him what happened. Since he couldn’t be sure his own countenance would hold up through another scene, he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

  More cars pulled into the drive, snagging his attention as he walked toward the caterers and put space between himself and a temptation that was becoming harder and harder to ignore. He needed to check on Matt, Alex and Ryan, make sure they’d filled food and water bowls in the kennels, but after ensuring the food handlers had everything they needed, he took a moment to veer down the drive to greet Zach, who was the first to arrive. For someone who in the past preferred to donate big money and arrive late, after the work was completed, his early arrival was just another example of the good influence Sandie was on him.

  Jackson could never repay his friends for the hours they’d all put in helping get ready for today, or for the money they’d donated to cover the expenses. “How many did you tell the caterers to plan for today?” he asked Zach, who’d covered the entire cost of the barbequed brisket lunch being unloaded.

  “Two hundred, just to be sure.” Zach grabbed Sandie’s hand as her pretty friend, Hope, slid out of the back.

  “There are sure to be leftovers, which are never a problem to dispose of,” Jackson said.

  Zach snorted. “Not with Miles around. Hope offered to help out today.”

  The blonde-haired, blue-eyed proprietor of a homeless shelter in downtown Miami had befriended Sandie when she’d been on the run from witnessing a murder, and the two had become good friends. “It’s good to see you again, Hope, and thanks for the offer. Krista is bringing her friend, Alessa, who also wanted to help. I think this may be the first year I have more hands than I need.”

  “I know how much work goes into fundraisers. You can never have too much help, if for no other reason than to give people breaks,” Hope said as she shook Jackson’s hand.

  “Or, we can play while you guys work,” Sandie hinted as she eyed the dogs running along the kennels barking, vying for attention.

  “No more cats,” Zach growled, pinning Sandie with a sharp glare.

  “I do have a litter that was just weaned from mom and is ready to go.”

  “Shut up, Jackson,” Zach snapped as the Carlson brothers and Sean and Miles joined them. No one was surprised when Miles hopped out of the SUV and his black gaze zeroed in on Hope for a silent, assessing moment. “I figured Dax would get here before you guys.”

  “He’s running late,” Sean told them before his shrewd eyes caught Julie coming out of the house. “That must be the girl next door. Pretty.”

  “Hey, you never mentioned she was all grown up.” Trevor’s teasing tone held as much appreciation as his brown eyes as he watched Julie cut across the lot toward them. Unlike his brother, Troy, Trevor was rarely serious.

  “Very funny. She’s been a big help this week in the office. Come on, I’ll introduce you then we need to get the last-minute preps done.” Jackson frowned when he noticed Julie’s jeans and long-sleeved blouse, and sensed her nervousness in the way she snatched her hand back after a brief greeting to each of the guys. The scars on her arms were so small and white they were barely noticeable, but it appeared she was still self-conscious about them.

  “I haven’t seen your face plastered on magazine covers for a while,” Troy said as he released her hand. Jackson didn’t doubt his astute cop instincts picked up on her unease.

&nb
sp; “No, I’m no longer modeling.” A rueful grin tugged at her lips as she quipped, “Thirty is deemed over the hill in those circles.”

  “Well, around these guys, it is young.” Sandie flipped Zach a cheeky smile before introducing Hope to Julie.

  “It’s nice to meet all of you. I could use Sandie and Hope’s help in the clinic, if you don’t need us out here.”

  “No, go ahead.” Jackson watched the women walk to the clinic, glad Julie had seemed relaxed and receptive to spending time with Sandie and Hope. While he didn’t know much about Hope, he was banking on Sandie being a good influence, since her own experience with keeping her problems from Zach almost cost her her life.

  “Another one bites the dust.” Trevor’s taunt drew Jackson’s scowl, and he threw up his hands in mock defense. “Hey, after first Zach, then Dax, I recognize that look. You’ve got it bad, and who could blame you?”

  “Can we get through today and discuss my love life later?” It wasn’t Trevor stating what Jackson already knew that bothered him, but the odds of anything working out for him and Julie as long as she continued to hold back from him weren’t in his favor.

  Sean clapped him on the back. “Come on, let’s get the tables up then see if we can unload your kennels today.”

  “That would be one success, anyway,” Jackson muttered as the Carlsons, Miles and Zach strode toward the storage building, and Sean and he followed.

  “I take it your scene didn’t go well,” Sean ventured.

  Jackson shrugged. “I won’t know how well it worked toward relieving her fears until she has another episode, but she embraced pain stimulus beautifully; her responses quick, numerous. She looked as shell-shocked over the multiple orgasms as she was the fact pain brought them about. I think she’s as surprised by her hidden submissive nature as I am.”

  “Ah, those are the most fun to play with. I love watching the transformation of a woman when she comes to terms with her true desires,” Sean sighed.

  “Yeah,” Jackson agreed with a heated rush as he recalled how it felt to have his hands all over Julie’s undulating, damp body, feel her climaxes soaking and gripping his fingers, and hear her sobs of stunned pleasure.

  Sean chuckled. “I think Trevor’s observation was spot on.”

  “IT’S nice of everyone to come out and help today,” Julie commented as Sandie and Hope helped her set up extra chairs in the reception room. They’d already lined the counter with adoption applications, extra pencils and brochures on everything from housebreaking to obedience training.

  “The first thing I noticed when I met all of Zach’s friends was how close they are,” Sandie replied. “I don’t think there’s anything they wouldn’t do for each other. I’m assuming, given how far back Zach said you and Jackson go, that you know how they all met.”

  “Yes. I’ll never forget how devastated and angry Jackson was when the police raided his home and his parents were convicted of drug dealing and complicity in a ten-year-old’s overdose. It proves how easily some people can pull the wool over your eyes. The Davenports were the nicest couple.”

  “I get a lot of addicts at the shelter. If kids could see how people who get hooked on drugs end up, they might think twice before doing them.” Hope’s face reflected empathy for her clientele.

  “I modeled for years, and a lot of the people I worked with indulged in the recreational use of drugs to help ease the stress. Seeing what it did to Jackson, and his family, helped keep me away from them.” Without a doubt, Julie knew Jackson would never have welcomed her back if she’d gotten to be a habitual drug user in New York, and he would know. Since the complete disintegration of his small family, followed by his father’s stabbing death in prison just two years later, he’d held to a no tolerance line in associating with people into drugs.

  “That’s a plus, then. Wow, look at that line of cars.” Sandie opened the front door and stepped out onto the front porch, Hope and Julie right behind her.

  “I hope having so many people around won’t stress the dogs,” Hope said, a touch of worry in her tone as she slid her eyes to the kennels where the dogs were putting up a ruckus.

  “Jackson will know what to do if any get agitated.” Julie realized that could also be true of the way Jackson had dealt with her since finding out she was a cutter. She ached to experience his painful ministrations again almost as much as she yearned for his full possession, neither of which would happen if she didn’t get up the nerve to tell him about the murders.

  Four hours later, Julie took advantage of a lull in people coming into the clinic to fill out applications, standing to stretch before she ventured outside for a break. Glancing out the window, she spotted Sandy and Hope finishing up lunch with Krista and her friend, Alessa, whom Julie met briefly when they arrived with Dax, the last of Jackson’s friends she’d met. The large windows in the clinic offered her an unobstructed view of the activities and people, and every time she spotted the renowned heart surgeon looking at Krista with his piercing green gaze and noticed the soft contentment on her face, a pang gripped Julie’s chest, and her craving for Jackson to peer at her with such an expression of possessive dominance increased.

  An urge to find him propelled her toward the long, food laden table. “Would one of you mind taking over inside for a few minutes? I need to stretch my legs.”

  “I was just headed back in.” Sandie rose and tossed her trash in a large bin. “Go ahead, take your time. The morning crowd has left, except for those who’re eating. I think they’re coming for the food as much as the dogs. Zach sent one of the college guys into Piedmont for more ice already.”

  Probably Matt, who would take advantage of the run to get out of work. “Thanks. Anyone know where Jackson is?” Julie couldn’t see him anywhere in the yard.

  “I saw him enter the kennels right before I grabbed a sandwich.” Krista pointed to the large dog shelter.

  “Thank you.” She strolled toward the kennels, waving to Alex and Ryan who were giving horseback rides to some of the kids. Other than when he stopped in the clinic to approve adoptions, she’d only caught sight of Jackson through the window as he tried to find the best matches for interested adopters.

  Julie pulled open the door to the kennels then stopped short when she spotted two boys around thirteen behind the building, one pulling a scared, shaking shepherd mix on a lead. “Come on, you stupid bitch. Sheesh, what a chicken shit.” The kid yanked hard on the lead and drew a whimper from the dog.

  Another scene filled Julie’s head, only this one was of two grown women taunting a physically misshapen young man. She stomped toward the boys, clenching her fists to drive away that memory, her vision turning red with rage when the boy swung his foot and kicked the dog on her back leg, sending her cowering down with a terrified yelp.

  Darting forward, she snatched the leash out of the unsuspecting youth’s hand and delivered a resounding kick to the obnoxious teen’s shin. “How do you like it?” she snapped before crouching to soothe Betty, one of her favorites at the shelter.

  “Ow! You… you kicked me!” The kid’s ridiculous accusation was followed by a screech from his mother who stormed up to them, along with Jackson and Miles.

  “How dare you strike my son!” the woman yelled.

  Standing on rubbery legs, Julie refused to look at Jackson as she confronted the irate parent. “How dare your son kick a defenseless animal.”

  “Tell her, Mom, that’s child abuse. We can sue,” the boy taunted with a smirk.

  Miles blasted the kid with a cold black look. “Hardly.”

  Jackson pointed at the boys. “You hurt an animal on my property, expect to get the same.” Turning to the red-faced mother, he stated with blunt harshness, “You’ve got a juvenile delinquent in the making. As someone who’s been there, I suggest you do something about it now, before it’s too late. It’s time for you to leave.”

  “I’ll escort them to their car. Let’s go.” Neither boy nor the mother argued as they followed M
iles. Jackson suspected the martial arts champion would give the mother his card and encourage her to bring the teens to his gym, where he could teach them to channel their adolescent anger in a less harmful way.

  He turned his attention to Julie, her pale face and shaking hands worrying him enough to pull her next to him for a reassuring hug. “You okay?”

  She leaned against him but didn’t return his embrace. “Yes, just mad. I’m sorry, Jackson. I hope I didn’t cause trouble for you. When I saw him kick Betty and heard her cry, I couldn’t help myself. You know how timid she is.”

  “You’ve nothing to apologize for. I saw what happened, and even if I hadn’t, I’d believe you. Let me check Betty.” Mad, he could understand, he thought as he crouched down and ran his hand along the shaking dog’s back, murmuring to her. But he’d been reading subs’ faces and body language for a long time, and he suspected the distress on Julie’s face and the glazed sheen in her eyes when he’d first seen her wasn’t because of what the boys did, but whatever memory their actions triggered. Another piece of the puzzle her rigid stance told him she wasn’t ready to share.

  Assured the dog was all right, he pushed to his feet and slung an arm around Julie’s shoulders as he led them both back to the kennels. “You haven’t seen my keys, have you?”

  She laughed, her tense shoulders relaxing as he’d hoped. “No, but I’ll help you look for them.”

  CHAPTER 6

  “So, do you two work together?” Julie turned to Alessa, who sat next to her under a tree in Jackson’s small orchard. They could see the last of the adopters checking out with their new pets from where they, along with Hope, Sandie and Krista, were relaxing in the shade. The afternoon had passed as fast as the morning, with a steady stream of visitors eager to adopt and support Jackson’s rescue. It had been fun, but tiring work.