Mastering Her Fear (Miami Masters Book 3)

by BJ Wane

  The root causes of her nightmares changed all the time and never seemed to matter. Sliding out of bed, she despaired of ever being free of that entire day. Without thinking, she snatched her small knife out of the bedside drawer and dashed out into the gloomy hall. She needed the distraction pain offered like she needed air to breathe and the dim glow of the bathroom nightlight beckoned to her. But as she stepped toward it, Jackson’s words after he’d first spanked her came to her in a rush, halting her as she looked towards his slightly ajar door and lifted her hand to the lingering mark on her neck.

  “…you come to me instead of cutting yourself.”

  Julie’s mind shied away from taking that bold step as she knew it would mean revealing her trauma, but her body’s needs overruled her brain and propelled her forward. The rapid tattoo beat of her heart returned as she slipped into his dark room and was instantly tossed back into that pitch-black bathroom. With only a sliver of light from the hall guiding her, she stumbled on wobbly legs over to the bed, whispering his name.

  “Julie? What is it?” Jackson sat up, the sheet falling to his waist, revealing he wore nothing under it. Without thinking, Julie stripped out of her nightshirt, still clutching the knife as she knelt on the bed.

  “Please, Jackson.” Why was it that seemed to be the only thing she could say when she trembled before him half-clothed?

  “Fuck.” Snatching the knife from her hand, he tossed it, and it clattered against the wall.

  As he started to get out of the bed, she launched herself at him, clinging to his broad shoulders, pressing her breasts against the thick muscles of his chest. “Please,” she begged again. He was so big and warm, and she was so tired of being cold.

  Jackson gripped her hair as he sank down onto the bed, holding her on top of him. “Talk to me,” he demanded, his mouth against hers.

  A whimper spilled past her lips as need warred with self-preservation. “I… the nightmare won’t go away, but you might.”

  “No, I won’t, you have my word.” He yanked on her hair and the sharp tug on her scalp delivered an electric jolt straight down to her pussy. His warm body took away the chill of her nightmare, his deep voice replaced the terrified screams, but when he demanded again, “Talk to me,” Julie knew the rest of the relief she needed wouldn’t be forthcoming unless she obeyed.

  She buried her face in his neck and her voice broke on her whispered confession. “My friends, Maci and Candace… they… they, he killed them… and I… God help me, Jackson, I cowered in the bathroom, hiding… scared… so damned scared I didn’t… try to help.” She ended the rushed story on a choked sob.

  Shaken by her revelation, and the fear and pain in her voice, Jackson rolled her beneath him. He found her nipple in the dark and sank his teeth onto the turgid tip. “Where were you when this happened?” Her long, smooth legs shifted beneath him as his tongue soothed the ache.

  “What?” Julie’s fingers gripped his shoulders, her small nails biting into his skin, the sharp pain igniting his lust despite the horrific images her confession conjured up in his head. “Oh, Montana.” She gasped as he latched onto her other nipple and tugged. “On… on a shoot. Oh, God.”

  Jackson shoved her legs apart with his, ripped her silk panties off and sank two fingers into her drenched pussy. “He, what? Broke into your hotel room?” He withdrew his fingers to tease her labia as he waited for her answer.

  “Yes, I’d… just gone into the bathroom… and…” She lifted her hips against his hand with a low moan, but instead of giving in to her, he pulled back and slapped her slippery folds, the flesh smacking sound echoing along with her startled gasp.

  “Talk. Were you able to call for help?” Picturing her huddled in the dark, imagining what she’d been forced to listen to, made his gut churn and his body tremble. No wonder she suffered nightmares. Who wouldn’t?

  “No, I didn’t have my phone. But I should’ve… please, Jackson, I don’t want to talk about it anymore… touch me.”

  Her tortured plea sent hot, greedy need pumping through his veins to pool in his groin, inflaming his senses until there was no turning back. “I pray you’re as hungry for this as I am, Julie,” he ground out, right before his mouth caught her low moan and he thrust back inside her slick, clasping vagina. How could something so velvety soft contain such fiery heat? He pummeled her pussy with deep plunges, diving straight for her g-spot, pressing then withdrawing with a lingering stroke over the small, swollen knot of nerves begging for more.

  “Yes! That’s so good, Jackson.” Her hips strained against his hand, lifting for each thrust. He’d give her that freedom tonight, because after this, there would be no going back, not after he’d heard what she’d endured, and definitely not after he’d fucked her. “There’s more, baby,” he promised, laving a rigid nipple before drawing it into his mouth with strong suction. “Come for me, Julie. Squeeze my fingers, let me feel your cream.”

  Julie shook under his commanding voice and forceful finger-fucking. The darkness lit up with a burst of color as she splintered apart, her muscles contracting around his fingers as he drove into her over and over again. She’d barely come off the incredible high when he replaced his fingers with his latex-covered cock, tunneling between her labia, his size stretching her to the point of discomfort. It had been so long since she’d been filled, and never with anyone of his proportions. She struggled with a frustrated mewl as his hips pinned hers in place, but all he did was lift her arms above her and wrap one hand around both wrists, holding them in place while his other hand slid under her butt.

  “Christ, but you’re tight. You’ll tell me why later.” He worked his hips a little harder, pushing with slow determination until he lay fully embedded inside her still convulsing sheath. The last dregs of Julie’s fear slipped away with Jackson’s full possession, his heavy body, hard hands and rigid control leaving no room for anything except pulse-pounding lust for more. “This will be hard and fast. You with me?” He withdrew then shoved back inside her with a quick in and out thrust.

  She huffed out a laugh. “You have me pinned under you, of course I’m with you.”

  “Your head, Julie, where’s your head at?” he growled as he slid the finger nearest her crack over an inch to press against her sensitive back hole. The riot of sensations exploding from that taboo touch triggered another gush of cream, his cock jerking inside her setting off even more sparks.

  “Shit, Jackson, would you quit talking and fuck me already,” she gasped.

  “Well, since you asked with such politeness.” He leaned on the arm holding her hands, reared back then took her with ruthless, single-minded intent.

  Julie’s first instinct was to lift her hips, join him in the age-old dance of fucking, but he kept her in place with his hard body and even harder, pummeling thrusts. Pleasure spiraled out of control from the strain, followed by the inability to move, shocking her with the heightened sensations. He kept stroking between her cheeks as he pounded into her, the constant pressure against her anus giving way to allow him entrance into that untried orifice. Her soft cries resounded along with his heavy grunts, and just like in the barn, the dark lit up in an explosion of bright fireworks that stripped away the past.

  Jackson continued to drive into her like a man possessed, as if he could push out the memories that haunted her. As her slick walls convulsed around his shaft and sucked his come up from his balls, he feared the images her admission had conjured up were forever seared on his brain. He should’ve pinned her slim body under him ages ago, should’ve been hearing her cries of pleasure and feeling her orgasm soaking his dick long before now. As his climax erupted with the force of a tsunami and left him reeling with the exalted impact, he wondered if he’d ever be able to forgive himself for not being there when she’d needed him the most.

  CHAPTER 7

  “How long ago did this happen?” Jackson kept Julie pinned under him, enjoying the rapid beat of her heart against his chest, her long legs clutching his sides
and her soft breath on his neck.

  “Two years, but sometimes it seems like yesterday.” A shudder went through her body and he swore. Other than the sliver of light from the hall, his room remained shrouded in darkness.

  “Are you okay? Do you want me to turn on a light?” He couldn’t bear thinking of her cowering in that bathroom, unable to see her hand in front of her face.

  “No.” She tightened her arms around his shoulders when he released her hands. “I’m good now.” A small laugh puffed against his shoulder. “Really good.”

  “Julie, why didn’t you come to me sooner?” It hurt to think she’d needed him all that time, and he hadn’t been there for her.

  “Sheesh, Jackson. If you think I’m a basket case now, you should’ve seen me then. Three psychologists had a field day trying to straighten me out. Six months ago, I gave up on counseling and it took me that long to get up the nerve to come to you.”

  “I’m sorry about that.” Jackson swept his hand down her side and cupped one soft buttock. “I should never have stayed away from you for so long.”

  “Yes, you should have,” she insisted, the small shift of her pelvis against his groin inflaming his cock again. Her tight curls were still damp, another enticing tidbit to egg him on. “I lost myself for a while there, and your walking away helped me come to my senses. That, and…”

  “And listening to your friends’ brutal murder? They caught him, didn’t they?”

  “Yes, just a few days later. After hearing he left a witness behind, he confessed and skipped a trial, thank God.” Goosebumps rose on her body and he reached down to draw the covers over them.

  “Why did he do it? There had to be a reason.” Jackson recalled thinking the same thing about his parents’ secret drug dealing, and that no reason could’ve been good enough for betraying him and the values they’d hypocritically raised him with.

  Julie stiffened beneath him, and he knew she was about to give him an evasive answer. “I… I don’t know. He saw us earlier, somewhere, and just flipped out. He had a history of mental problems but refused to plead diminished capacity. He’s scheduled to be executed in a few weeks. I’m tired…”

  “Go to sleep.” With the details of her trauma still playing in his head, he couldn’t berate her for holding back on him. Baby steps were needed here. Problem was, he’d never been good at taking things slow when he was going after something he really wanted. And now that he’d had Julie, Jackson really wanted her; in his bed, in his life, under his control. “Tomorrow, we’ll do something fun.”

  “Yeah?” Her tone perked up. “Like what?”

  “I’ll surprise you, but if you liked what we just did, and what we’ve done, you’ll like this even better.” Rolling to his side, he spooned her in front of him, cupped a breast in his hand and fell asleep wondering if an afternoon cruise on the yacht would help erase the shadows in her eyes.

  JULIE ASSISTED Jackson with the morning chores, enjoying his teasing and watching him with his animals. He was always so different with the dogs and other four-legged species than he was in a crowd of people, like yesterday. Today he was more relaxed, laughing and joking with her as they played with a litter of puppies. By his own words, the fundraiser had been a resounding success, leaving the kennels only a third full and much more manageable, and he’d raised enough money to add on to the barn. He’d mentioned wanting to take in more livestock, namely horses, and now could do so. Florida didn’t have a large equestrian population like some states, but enough in their area to keep the SPCA, and Jackson, busy with calls. Other than around his friends, he seemed content with just her for company, and now she’d told him what her nightmares were about, at least most of it, it was as if a wedge had been removed from their relationship.

  For herself, Julie could breathe easier today. She’d slept like a baby in his bed last night, and found it amazing what a solid, good night’s sleep could do to one’s outlook. Or was it the hint he’d given her last night about continuing today with introducing her to his kinks that was responsible for the constant hum of pleasure running through her?

  “You go take a shower and I’ll put one of the breakfast casseroles from the freezer in the oven,” Jackson said as he followed Julie upstairs.

  “I don’t know if I can wait that long to eat. I’m starving.” She turned laughing eyes up to him as they stepped into the kitchen. She’d bet the matching twinkle in his eyes meant he credited the sex last night for her increased appetite.

  “That’s the first time I’ve heard you admit you want to eat in a long time.” He bent and kissed her. “It’s good to have you back, Julie.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, but he didn’t give her a chance to get all maudlin. Grasping her shoulders, he spun her about and delivered a solid whack on her jean-clad butt, followed by a nudge toward the hall. “Go.”

  Even the minor tingling that swat left behind worked to stir her arousal and left her wanting more and Julie knew there was no going back for her. She planned to get as much out of this time with Jackson as she could. The full truth behind Evan Daniels’ murderous rampage would have to come out eventually. Jackson was too astute and too demanding for it not to. When it did, she couldn’t guess how he’d react, but if he wanted nothing more to do with her, she’d at least have these memories to ward off the chill of bleak loneliness losing him now would leave her with.

  Shoving aside all maybes and what ifs, she savored a lengthy, extra hot shower, getting the small bathroom all steamy by the time she flipped off the water and wrapped herself in a large, soft towel. Wiping off the fogged mirror, she gazed at her reflection long enough to run a comb through her damp hair, never once directing her focus on her face. Another leftover result from that day in Montana had been an inability to look at herself. Knowing she was no longer the vain, shallow person she’d allowed fame to turn her into did little to erase the mistakes she’d made before terror and heartbreak had forced her to take a closer look at herself. Even though Julie had acknowledged her flaws and already didn’t like who she’d become, the effort to change, to find herself again, had just begun when she and Maci and Candace had been sent out on that shoot. As it turned out, the slow changes she’d already initiated proved to be too little, too late.

  Jackson startled her out of thoughts that threatened to put a damper on the day when he entered the bathroom wearing nothing but his jeans and an appreciative smile as he raked her from head to toe. “I like the wet look on you, baby.” Reaching out, he followed a trail of water dripping from her hair down her arm, his light touch raising goosebumps. “We have a quick chore to see to before we eat and get going.”

  Before Julie knew what he planned to do, he whisked the towel off and lifted her onto the counter, plopping her naked butt next to the sink. “Jackson! What’re you doing?”

  “Finishing your morning prep for you.” He moved between her dangling legs, separating them with his body as he tugged on the ebony curls that matched her hair. “As much as I like seeing these pretty curls dampen with your cream, I prefer no barriers between us.”

  “Hey, I’m trimmed short,” she protested, the thought of being bared down there disconcerting enough to have her trying to shield her labia as he reached into a drawer and pulled out a new razor.

  “Yes, you are, and I appreciate your efforts. But, as I’ve made clear, anything to do with sex is done my way, to give me what I want.”

  His fingers played with her folds and made talking difficult, but she managed to sputter, “No, it’s too…” She struggled to find the right word, but Jackson beat her to it.

  “Too intimate?” One brow quirked in amusement. “I’ve been inside you, it doesn’t get more intimate than that.” Reaching over, he turned on the faucet and tossed a washcloth in the sink. “In case you haven’t picked up on it by now, anything I insist on will please you also, I’ll see to that. Now, lean against the mirror and entertain me by playing with your pretty breasts while I take care of this little chore.”
>
  For someone who didn’t embarrass easily, Julie found herself blushing a lot ever since Jackson first spanked her. The hot look in his eyes when she cupped her breasts helped ease her self-consciousness and worked to bolster her nerve as he lathered her pubic hair with the soapy cloth. She plucked at her nipples as he swiped the razor over her mound and a rush of warmth enveloped her body that had nothing to do with the lingering steam from the shower. Each stroke of the razor bared a new swath of sensitive flesh to the caressing waft of humid air. Shivers tickled down her spine as she stroked, pulled and worked her nipples harder and faster with the increase of her already heightened senses. It didn’t take long for her breathing to become labored, and every time he glanced up from between her legs to eye her own manipulations, the heated glaze in those eyes grew hotter.

  “That’s it, Julie. Work those nipples hard. I know that’s how you like it. Look how red you’ve made them. You’re so wet, so swollen, I’m already aching to get inside you.”

  Jackson’s dark, guttural voice spurred her on and washed away the last dregs of her mortified resistance. Her sheath clutched in achy emptiness, the touch of his calloused fingertips gliding over the newly exposed skin almost toppling her from the counter. Never in a million years could she have imagined the added pleasure gained by going bare, but she still blanched when she glanced down and saw herself looking as she had before puberty hit.

  “I look like a girl,” she mumbled, trying to shift her hips away from his marauding hands. A sharp slap on her thigh both held her still and silenced her.

  “Sit still, and you are a girl.” He swiped one finger up her slit then held the proof of her excitement up between them.

  Julie narrowed her eyes in annoyance. “You know what I mean.”