Sinfully Delicious: Six Scintillating Stories of Sweets, Treats, and Happily Ever Afters

by Gauthier, Crystal L.

  Taking a huge bite of her bagel and furrowing her brow, Kalliope grumped around a mouth full of food, “I’m doomed to be an old Witch, sitting in her rocking chair, listening to her cats purr and her bats coo.”

  “Oh my, Lordy.” Jesse gave an over exaggerated gasp, slapping one hand over his heart and the back of the other on his brow as he imitated Scarlett O’Hara to a tee, southern accent and all. “There’s someone out there for you, Honey Child. You just need to try a little harder.”

  Laughing despite her got-no-boyfriend blues, Kallie teased, “If I put myself out there anymore, I might as well run through the streets in my birthday suit screaming, ‘Cute girl needs a man. Please call 555-Help-A-Witch-Get-Laid.”

  “Maybe not your birthday suit, but I could have the Wardrobe Department whip you up something low in the front and short in the back.”

  Swatting Jesse’s arm, Kalliope frowned, “No way, Jess. I’ve seen your idea of sexy. Remember last year’s Halloween party?”

  “Hey,” the flamboyant producer called after her as the sassy Witch headed to her dressing room. “I was Cher, and Jeffrey was Madonna. I can’t help it if half my heinie was out. We were just being true to the costumes.”

  “What little of them there was,” Kalliope teased over her shoulder as she walked across the threshold and threw her apron in the white wicker hamper to her right. “My momma and Grams would haunt me for the rest of my life if I wore anything that showed that much boob and butt.”

  “Yeah, but I bet you’d find a man.”

  “So you keep tellin’ me,” she groaned, taking a seat in front of her makeup mirror and looking for the wipes to take off her makeup. “And then there’s Meredith.” Kallie rolled her eyes. “She just keeps saying, ‘Bump into a guy at the Coffee House. It always works in the movies’.” Swiveling around as she swiped at her eyes, Kallie added, “Of course, the one time I tried, I ended up with Chocky-Wocky-Doodah Frappuccino all over the front of my favorite butter-colored linen dress.”

  “Oh, for the shame of it all.” Jesse did his usual wiggly finger wave as he read from his clipboard. “Let me talk to Jeffrey. We can have a little impromptu soirée with all the single, straight guys we know.”

  “All three of them?”

  “Now, that is just so wrong. Just because I am young, gay and fabulous with an amazing life partner does not mean I don’t still keep up with all my friends.” He tried to act affronted but ended up smiling as he went on, “Okay, you might be right, but there’s you, Meredith, and Daphne and…ummm…well, there’s Jack, Jorge, Charlie, and Sam.”

  “The cameraman, boom operator, sound guy and prop director of my show .” Kallie turned back towards her mirror. “See what I mean? I’m on my own. If I get any older, my Coven is gonna start animating the mannequins at Saks to put in the passenger seat of my car, so I can ride in the carpool lane.” Wagging her finger at the reflection of her friend in the mirror, she grumbled, “Sally Mae even has a boyfriend. Sally-freakin’-Mae with her crazy red hair, braces at eighty-two and stuck-in-the-80’s wardrobe. I swear I heard the over two-hundred crowd starting a pool on how long it would take me to find a man and the opening bid was a hundred-and-fifty-years old.”

  Getting up and crossing the room, Jesse patted her shoulder as he reassured, “Don’t listen to the Merry Widowed Witches Club. You know they’ve all been married at least six times and each husband disappeared under ‘unexplained circumstances’.” Jesse even gave her his famous air quotes along with a kiss on the cheek and a shoulder hug. “The right guy for you is out there for you. I just know it. You’re gorgeous, funny, smart, witty and can cook anything under the sun.”

  “And don’t forget, I’m the only one in the whole wide world who has Grams’ famous red velvet cupcake recipe.”

  Standing to his full height, the outrageous, lovable man Kalliope had known since she saved his butt from a group of nasty bullying trolls on the playground when they were seven, gave her his jazz hands as he sang, “And there you have it. Whip those up for your Valentine’s show and you’ll have the men lined up around the block.”

  “You think so?” Kalliope smiled, catching some of Jesse’s excitement. “Maybe I’ll fill them with white chocolate ganache and bright red candy hearts. Jazz ‘em up a bit.”

  “Not those nasty cinnamon hearts, right?” Jesse curled up his nose as his eyes got really big.

  “Of course not, Goofball. Those are way too strong for red velvet.” Getting out of her chair and slipping her feet into her pink flip flops, Kallie went on, “I’m gonna make them from scratch with just a touch of cherries and a whole lotta love.”

  “Sounds perfect, Lovebug, and don’t forget the cream cheese frosting,” Jesse trilled, kissing her once on each cheek before walking into the hall and calling over his shoulder, “Make extra. You know how the crew loves your treats.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. And you’re gonna steal at least a dozen.” Kallie teased.

  “You know it, Sugarplum,” came Jesse’s chuckled reply from somewhere down the hall.

  Putting the straps of her red patent bag on her shoulder, she headed towards the parking lot stopping to talk to her fans who were waiting outside the backstage door and signing copies of her newest cookbook. Smiling from ear-to-ear, happy as a clam at all the wonderful people who watched her show and gave her such amazing support, Kalliope nearly floated across the hot asphalt lot.

  Once in her little red convertible VW bug, Kalliope couldn’t help but think about all the other ways she could make Grams’ Famous Red Velvet Cupcakes even more special. Her viewers were expecting fantastic , and that was exactly what she planned to give them. By the time she got home, she had it all figured out. Her usually cheery attitude was back and she was rarin’ to go. Baking was her form of stress relief, always had been and probably always would be.

  And I’ve got the curves to show it…

  She loved creating, decorating, just everything associated with messing about in the kitchen and best of all, it reminded her of her Grams, the coolest, hippest, greatest grandma in the world. Kallie thought of all the hours they’d spent in the kitchen, singing, laughing and making the best treats ever. No one topped their creativity or their flavors. People came from miles around when Grams put out the word she was having a Bake Sale. All the proceeds went to the Witches Welfare Fund. She even took orders for holidays, birthdays and anniversaries and never had a complaint.

  Throwing open the front door, she yelled to her roommates, “Daphne! Trish! I’ve got an idea for my Valentine’s show and I need your help.”

  Popping into the kitchen before she’d even put her purse down, her two best girlfriends smiled wickedly, each waving a wooden spoon in the air as they chirped in unison, “We’re in, as long as we can lick the bowl.”

  Now, I just pray they don’t burn down the house…

  Chapter Two

  “What the hel l is wrong with you?” Maddox, the most cantankerous Guardsman, who’d rightfully been dubbed the Mad Dragon hundreds of years ago, grumped.

  “What’s wrong wit’ me? Is that whit ye jest asked?” Murdock glowered at one of his oldest friends. “Ye knoow damn good and well whit’s wrong wit’ me. I hate bein’ out tae water. Ah want tae go home. Ah need tae keep searchin’ fur Atticus.” He stopped, all thoughts centering on his older brother, one of the famed Enforcers, attacked by wizards over a century ago and as far as Murdock was concerned, sitting somewhere at the bottom of the sea. He knew no one believed him when he said he’d heard the voice of his brother…well, no one but Atticus’ son, Brannoc. The lad had also felt his father’s call after all those years of grieving his death.

  Shaking off his frustration, Murdock added, “But a promise tis a promise and I woon’t let ye lot down.”

  “And for that we are grateful, Dock” Pearce, the most laid-back Guardsman Murdock had ever met, nodded after using the nickname Murdock hadn’t heard in decades. “But if it’s at your own detriment, I know for a fact Ka
yne and Drago would tell you to head back to the sea.”

  “Aye, but Ah made a commitment.” He tried to smile. “So, let’s git this shite figured oout and then Ah kin take a swim.”

  Maddox’s grumbles were followed by a quick, “Sorry, for snapping,” which forced a true smile to cross Murdock’s face as he teased, “Oh me Heavens, was that an apology from none other than the Mad Dragon?” Barking out a laugh, he added, “Havin’ a mate has truly soothed the savage beast.”

  “Ha – Ha – Ha,” Maddox mocked. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

  As the group erupted in laughter, Murdock had to admit, if only to himself, that he’d missed the comradery of his brethren. Protecting the sea from all enemies of the Dragons was a lonely job, but one he took seriously. It hadn’t always been easy being one of the few two-natured Dragons to survive, but being able to transform into a Water Dragon as well as a Fire had saved his hide more times than he could remember.

  Focusing back on his still chuckling brethren, Murdock joked, “Doxie, ye knoow ye’ve always been a belligerent ol’ bastard, dinnae deny it. But now that ye have that lovely Witch by yer side, we all see your soft underbelly.”

  “Whatever,” the Mad Dragon huffed, turning back to the maps on the table. Slapping the palm of his hand on the hard wood, Maddox added, “Y’all should focus more on your work and less on my love life, ya’ hear? This damned volcano isn’t called Devil’s Kiss for no reason. We have to make sure our boys don’t get lost while looking for the others.”

  “Aye, aye, Captain,” Pearce snickered with a mock salute, just as Brannoc and his cute little mate, Annie, a bear shifter with a heart of gold, walked into the Grand Hall.

  Turning towards his nephew, Murdock kissed Annie on the cheek before wrapping Brannoc into a hug complete with a slap on the back. Taking a step back, the older Dragon shook his head and chuckled, “Damn it all, if ye aren’t the spittin’ image of yer da.”

  Grinning, the younger Guardsman winked, “Handsome runs in the family.”

  “Oh, my Goddess,” Annie scoffed, elbowing her mate. “Now there’s two Deóireach male egos to contend with. I think I need to sit down for overload of BS.” Looking at the other Guardsmen, she added, “Don’t y’all think it’s getting’ a little deep in here?”

  Ignoring what she said, her mate advised, “You need to sit down anyway.”

  Murdock watched Brannoc guide a very pregnant Annie towards the first available chair, proud of the care his nephew was taking of not only his mate but his twins that were due any day. “I can feel those babies tumbling and kicking in your belly,” the proud poppa grinned as he rubbed his mate’s swollen stomach.

  “Yeah, well, half Bear-half Dragon twins have a lot of energy, or so I am finding out.”

  “Just wait until they arrive,” Niall, the Clan Healer and the one close to Murdock’s age, laughed as he walked through the back door of the Grand Hall. “And you know there is all the help you could need and more waiting in the wings.”

  “I couldn’t be happier,” Annie nodded. “And I have the camera ready to take a picture of Brann changing his first dirty diaper.”

  As the room once again erupted in laughter, Murdock went through the motions as visions of the dreams he’d been having for nearly three months flooded his mind. Images so clear that his senses literally filled with the scents of decadent chocolate, sweet cherries and warm vanilla, he welcomed the pleasant distraction.

  Playful green eyes that always held just a touch of mischief, combined with long dark curls, a dusting of delectable freckles upon the porcelain of her cheeks and perfectly pink lips with a Cupid’s bow that begged to be kissed made for an absolutely unforgettable woman whose laughter made his heart sing. If truth be told, Murdock would’ve left the sea to find her, even if he hadn’t promised his friend and brethren, Kayne to come and help them maneuver the perils of the Devil’s Kiss.

  It was a blessing to all that Uther, another of the Enforcers had been released from his magical prison by the call of his mate just a few weeks earlier. His arrival had renewed Murdock’s conviction that his brother was still alive and somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.

  Atticus was the only one of the famed Force of Guardsmen called the Enforcers who remained lost. Murdock knew he would find his sibling, just as sure as he knew that Uther had somehow located another legendary group of Dragons – those known as the Berserkers - in the bowels of the South American volcano.

  Kayne had called to the Sea Dragon because of his extensive knowledge of the area surrounding that particular mountain range. Being a dual-natured Dragon meant there were times Murdock longed for the land after long periods underwater, and the Dragon King with whom he shared his soul, Raibert needed to soar the skies. They’d always found it the easiest to do so in the isolated Rainforest of the Amazon. Not only was it beautiful, but the lack of humans made it perfect for transforming between Dragon and man at will.

  In fact, it had been over that very mountain that Murdock had first envisioned the beautiful woman who haunted his nearly his every thought. He’d seen her surrounded in smoke, white powder on her cheeks and her hair piled atop her head. In that moment, the older Guardsman had nearly fallen from the sky. There was just something about his dream woman, something he couldn’t…

  “Hey! You still with us?” Brannoc’s question interrupted Murdock’s revelry.

  “Aye, Ah’m here,” the older Dragon nodded. “Just thinkin’. Tis all.”

  Leaning closer, Brannoc raised his eyebrows and spoke directly into Murdock’s mind, “Well, if ya’ think any harder, Uncle, Pearce will pick up on that little cutie in your thoughts and he’s a real pain in the ass when it comes to trying to play Cupid.”

  “Son of a…” Murdock groaned as he looked up at his nephew. “And ye wonder why Ah stay underwater.”

  Chapter Three

  “No way! N o way! No way!” Kalliope screamed, running into the kitchen as smoke poured out of the oven and the smoke detector on the wall squealed like an injured duck Waving at the blasted device, thankful when the horrendous noise stopped, she asked. “How did you burn them already? I was only gone for five minutes.”

  “It was her fault,” Meredith wailed, pointing at Daphne who was standing in the corner looking at the oven as if it was a fire-breathing Dragon come to take them all away.

  Snapping out of her haze at Meredith’s accusation, Daphne challenged, “No way, Broom Hilda, it was your fault. You’re the one who zapped the temperature with that stupid spell you’ve been working on.”

  “I did not!” Meredith screamed, her cheeks immediately turning red and warts popping out on her nose.

  “Yes, you did! Yes, you did!” Daphne jeered. “Look at your nose. The ‘Fibber, Fibber Nose Like a Chigger’ spell I put on you says you are a big fat liar.”

  “I am not fat!” Meredith shrieked, throwing an entire bag of flour at Daphne.

  “But you are a filthy rotten liar,” Daphne countered, grabbing the second bag of flour on the counter, pitching it across the room and instead of Meredith, hitting Kalliope right in the face.

  “STOP IT RIGHT NOW!” Kallie shouted. “Cut the crap. Get those burnt offerings out of the oven and clean up this mess. I’ll just do this myself since you two obviously cannot be trusted.” Swiping at the flour covering her face, she glared. “You know I have to make this recipe work like six times tonight.” Shaking her head and watching as the flour fell from her hair like snow falling from the sky, she added, “How would it look for me, the Witch who puts love in every recipe, to have fricking burnt cupcakes as a Valentine’s Day treat for all the couples out there? Huh? Tell me?”

  Looking repentant and apologizing at least fifty times each, the much older, infinitely crazier , Witches went to work at putting the kitchen back in order as Kallie read through her recipe one more time.

  “I’m gonna use the large cupcake pans so I can get lots of that yummy ganache in there,” she mumbled to herself, maki
ng notes in the margins of the recipe she’d copied from Gram’s cookbook. “And I need to find those cute red foil cupcake papers I got from the Bakery Warehouse.”

  “Don’t forget the rock candy,” Meredith added as she swept up the floor. “Yours is the best.”

  “And what about those tiny heart-shaped sprinkles you whipped up for the twin’s birthday? Those would be adorable on the top,” Daphne added, from where she was washing Kalliope’s huge stainless mixing bowls. “OH! And a maraschino cherry on top.”

  Propping her chin on her hand with her elbow on the granite top of the island that stood in the middle of her kitchen, Kallie grinned at her friends, admitting, “I just can’t stay mad at y’all.” Holding up her free hand with her palm facing both the Witches, she quickly added, “But you still can’t help me.” She shook her head as they both shoved out their bottom lips and pretended to pout. “Don’t even try it. These have to be perfect.” Getting off her stool, she crossed the room and opened the freezer. Pulling out two containers, she handed one to each of her best friends. “But, you can each try my new ice cream. Share it between you. One is triple-chocolate-mint-cookie-cloud and the other is strawberry-shortcake-chunky-chip-crash. I’m doing Ice Cream March Madness and need to make sure my flavors are outrageously good and super original.”

  Grabbing the tubs along with spoons, Meredith and Daphne each kissed her on the cheek as they left the kitchen racing to the den to watch reruns of I Love Lucy and chow down on ice cream. After all, everyone knew Lucy really was a Witch. How else would she get into so much trouble and still keep laughing? It was the only thing that made sense.

  Getting out all her ingredients, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, rubber spatulas and wooden spoons, as well as, Gram’s old, teal KitchenAid Mixer, Kallie set to work adding her own special twist to the already perfect red velvet cupcakes her grandmother had made for over three hundred years. Getting lost in her thoughts as she spooned and measured and poured and baked, she remembered what it was like to be in the kitchen with Grams.