Blue

by Jill Patten

  Our food comes out quick, and it’s absolutely some of the best scallops I’ve ever eaten. When Ross recognizes how quick I devour the tasty discs, he calls me out on it as we leave. “I take it I’m forgiven?” He smiles as he holds the door open for the gray-headed couple walking in the restaurant.

  “Oh my God, they were to die for! I swear they melted in my mouth,” I say with excruciating joy.

  He laughs. “I could tell. Did you even taste them?”

  I lightly smack his bicep in a flirty kind of way. We both laugh, and he places his hand at the small of my back as we walk to the car. Once we reach my car, I remember we drove separate. I’m wishing we hadn’t. I want to spend more time with him. I feel cheated.

  We stop at my car door, and he steps up to me until my ass rests against the cool metal.

  “We need to do this again, but at a quieter, more intimate restaurant,” he says as he stares at my lips. His light brown eyes flicker up to mine a nanosecond before they focus back on my lips again. He’s going to kiss me.

  I want him to kiss me.

  His tongue pokes out just a smidge to dampen his perfectly kissable bottom lip.

  “Are you going to kiss me, Ross, or are you going to stare at my lips all night?” My words come out in a breathy voice.

  He inhales a deep breath as he narrows the space between us. His head tilts just enough before his mouth softly molds against mine. We both open our mouths about the same time with the same intentions. Our tongues dance to a rhythm that only plays in our heads, and it’s a magical feeling. I haven’t experienced a kiss like this since Blue tasted me for the first time.

  Blue. That’s somebody I haven’t thought about in a while. And he’s not exactly who I want to be thinking about while I’m kissing Ross. When I think of Blue, I think of his betrayal. How he made me believe he was someone he’s really not.

  I break the kiss as Blue swirls around in my head. Squeezing my eyes shut for a quick second, I wipe my mind of Blue and focus on the good guy standing before me. “We should go see a movie or something,” I suggest with a smile.

  He steps back and nods. “Sounds like a great idea. You want to take both cars or one?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter, but since we’re both here, we might as well take mine. I can drive you back over here after we finish.”

  To my surprise, Ross agrees to watch a romance movie, and by the time it’s over we’re both sexually charged. As we walk through the parking lot, his hand wraps around my waist and his fingers dig into my skin just enough to resemble a subtle massage. Our bodies pull together with magnetic force, and I find myself wanting to do more than kissing.

  It’s been a month since I’ve had sex, and I’m craving some physical contact with a hot and willing guy.

  As soon as we shut the doors, we are all over each other. Hands roaming over chilled skin. Lips perusing over each other before moving on to necks, ears, and chests. Tongues tasting what the others have to offer. Steamy chaos fills the small capacity of my worn out car, but I don’t care because I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

  Ross has the straps to my dress pulled down enough to release my breasts, and I unbutton his shirt in record time. Thankfully it’s dark outside and we’re parked far enough from the popular spots that we should be safe from peeping toms.

  His head bends down, and he takes a budding nipple in his mouth. I suck in a breath when his hand unexpectedly slides up my inner thigh. His fingers reach the lace of my thong, and he rubs my most sensitive spot, nearly causing me to come undone.

  “Mmm.” My mouth is incapable of forming words. It feels so good.

  My hands rub down the muscled grooves of Ross’ abs until I reach the top of his shorts. With nimble fingers, I undo the button and rake down his zipper. His hardened length strains against his underwear, and I’m eager to set it free.

  My palm rubs over his bulge. He groans around my breast, causing the vibration to shoot straight to my core. He threads his fingers through my hair as he takes my head in both hands. His mouth comes crashing back to my lips, and we become tangled up in a world of our own.

  “God, you’re amazing,” he whispers over my face as he trails kisses along my jawline.

  I throw my head back and allow him to continue down a path I hope leads to an amazing outcome. His hands work through my hair as he becomes more urgent with his quest. I’m lost in the way he brings my body alive.

  “What the fuck?” He barks, jumping back from me as far as he can, taking my wig with him. His eyebrows shoot up, and his eyes are wide and horrified.

  “Oh my God! Give me that,” I shriek, jerking it from his hand and trying to put it back in place. Tears threaten the backs of my eyes. My chest begins to hurt from embarrassment.

  How the hell can this happen to me again? Why is the universe always against me? When will I ever get a break?

  “What is going on, Phoebe?” His eyes are large with fright, or maybe repulsion.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “The hell it’s nothing. Your damn hair just came off your head. You’re practically bald.” He says the last part with disgust. His body is still pressed up against the passenger door as if I’ll pass over some incurable disease to him. “You owe me some kind of explanation. Things got pretty intimate a second ago.”

  “I’m not contagious, for Christ’s sake. I was sick and it caused my hair to fall out.” I sniff back the moisture building up in my nose. “I’m wearing it until it’s long enough for me to go without so people don’t look at me like a freak like you are doing now,” I say, struggling through my words. I start my car up and peel out of the movie’s parking lot as fast as I can.

  The ride back to the restaurant takes half the time it should, and I thank the dear Lord above for not throwing a cop in my path. Ross jumps out of my car before I come to a complete stop. He doesn’t say bye, kiss my ass, fuck you, nothing.

  Tears spill down my cheeks before I even pull out of the parking lot. My chest constricts as the sobs take over. My phone beeps with a text, but I don’t look at it. I can barely see where I’m going as the waterworks continue to build up in my eyes.

  When I pull into my driveway, I turn the engine off and continue to release all the built-up frustration that’s been harbored inside. My phone beeps again and this time I pick it up to read the texts.

  Ross: I think we work best as friends. I hope you’re okay with that.

  What a jerk. How is it the guy who barely knows me comforts me and makes me feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt in my life, but the person who’s been my friend for a while acts as if I’m some kind of freak? He wants to be my friend? Yeah, right. In other words, I’m letting you down easy and I really want nothing to do with you ever again.

  For the second time tonight, my thoughts go back to Blue. Why is he still lingering in my mind?

  BLUE

  When I step outside from the stuffy airport, I’m greeted with cool, dreary weather. The smells of exhaust hovers under the covered drop off/pick up area as buses, trams, and cars stop and go with passengers.

  This is a far cry from the warm sun and salty air I left just hours ago. While I wait for Uber to show up, I pull my phone out and send Molly a quick text to let her know I landed safe and sound.

  Molly: Good luck!

  She’s still not on board with my decision, but she knows once my mind is made up, there’s no changing it.

  Every few minutes, the sound of wet tires pulling up by the curb has me looking up in anticipation of my ride. When my car arrives, I hop in with my small bag and tell the guy the address.

  The driver makes small talk with me as we leave the city and enter a more rural area. I take in my surroundings along the way and try to imagine what life is like to live here. I’ve been on the beach all my life and even though the coast here is a couple of hours away, it’s not the same as waking up and walking out with the ocean at your back door. These people here have no idea what they�
�re missing.

  You can definitely tell summer isn’t far away. Everything is either green or some other multitude of color. Aside from the beauty of new life growing, the downfall of the scenery is no palm trees. I’m a beach bum through and through. I love my salt life.

  That unfamiliar feeling of my heart rate speeding, and a jittery leg bouncing against the back of the passenger seat as we pull into the short driveway of a small brick ranch home have me restless. I look for the numbers on the mailbox to make sure it’s the right address Nate provided. It looks right.

  With my bag in hand, I pay the driver and then step out into a fine mist.

  This is it. The time is here to prove myself.

  I walk across stepping stones hidden by grass that’s not been trimmed in a while. When I reach the front door, I take in a deep breath and then blow out some of the nerves built up in my chest before pressing the doorbell.

  Please just hurry and answer. The longer I wait, the harder it is for me to try and relax.

  Straining my ears, I lean in toward the door to see if I can hear any movement on the other side.

  Nothing.

  Please be home.

  Silence.

  Did the doorbell even ring? I press it again, and this time I pay attention. It’s quiet. It must be broken. I reach up and knock on the wooden door.

  After a few seconds, I hear something inside. Hopefully, someone’s home and it’s not a dog. If it were a dog, it should’ve barked by now. This gives me hope.

  My breath catches when the door opens.

  The last thing I expect is to see her without her wig. Her super short hair is stylish and it suits her perfectly.

  My mouth drops at the sight of her beauty. She’s even more beautiful than I remember; long hair or short. Her blue eyes shine even brighter as she stares at me wide-eyed.

  Her mouth is open too, but I doubt it’s for the same reason as mine.

  I run my hand through my hair because I don’t know what else to do with it. If I did things my way, I’d wrap my arms around her and kiss her until she’s breathless. But, we left each other on shaky ground, so I need to tread lightly until I understand where her feelings lie with me. “Hi, gorgeous,” I say softly, hoping I’m not overstepping my boundaries.

  She blinks as if she’s finally focusing on who I am. “Blue,” she whispers.

  “Hi,” I say again.

  “Wha—what are you doing here?” There’s no animosity in her voice, but I’m waiting for it to kick in any moment.

  I smile shyly, hoping she won’t be too harsh on me. “I came to see you.” My smile turns into a grimace. “I believe I owe you something.”

  A scowl marks her face, and I know then she’s replaying our last encounter in her head. “You have some nerve to show your face here. How do you even know where I live?”

  No matter what I say, she’s going to think I’m a jerk. “There’s no privacy with the Internet at our fingertips.”

  She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with so I can get back to making an honest living,” she says, folding her arms across her chest.

  “Can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “Can we talk?”

  “No.”

  I step up to where I’m standing along the lip of the doorframe. She takes a step back. “Phoebe, please,” I beg. “I’m trying here. I came here to prove to you I’m not the guy you think I am.”

  “Good for you. What do you want, a button?” Her words are smeared with sarcasm.

  “No, I just want your acceptance. I just want you to give me a chance. It kills me to know you think I’m a thieving bastard.” If only she knew how I’ve never cared about what other people thought about me. My fuck it attitude flew right out the window where she’s concerned.

  “You should’ve thought about that before you decided to take things that didn’t belong to you.”

  Flailing my arms in the air, I raise my voice. “I screwed up! I know that, and I’m paying like a bitch for it. But for what it’s worth, I’m not doing it anymore. I’ve learned my lesson.”

  “Again, are you looking for some sort of award, because you’re looking at the wrong person to hand them out,” she says, looking at me as if she’s bored with this conversation already.

  “What can I do to change your mind? For you to give me a chance?”

  She shakes her head as her lips twist up in thought. “Probably nothing.”

  “Nothing?” I ask, hoping she’ll change her mind.

  “Nope. Not a thing.” How can she face me and not show any feelings? Her eyes are void. She looks at me as if she’s a robot set on autopilot.

  Feeling defeated, I release a deep breath and reach in my pocket. I take her hand, and she hesitates for a second before allowing me to hold it palm up. “Here,” I say, placing the stack of cash in her soft, delicate hand. “This is all of it, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for not telling you the truth.” With purpose, I stare hard at her, hoping she’ll look back at me and see deep down inside that I mean what I say. “But I’m not sorry for what I did because in the end that money went to good use. I’m just sorry it happened to you,” I say, barely above a whisper.

  My head drops, and I look at my hand still holding on to hers. “You know, meeting you has been pretty amazing…even if you do hate my guts.” Glancing up, I give her a half-hearted smirk.

  I release my hold and bend down to pick up my bag. I stare at her baby blues, then her lips, nose, face, and hair so that it’s etched in my memory for when I’m missing her. Which will probably be an unhealthy dose. “Thanks for fixing me,” I say then spin on my heel to walk away. Where I’m going, I have no idea. She’s made herself clear, and I’m not going to force myself on someone who doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings.

  I’m halfway down the driveway when Phoebe yells my name. I stop.

  “How did you get the money?” she asks.

  Without turning around I answer her. “Does it really matter? Will it make a difference if I tell you?”

  “No, but it would help to know that you can actually be honest for once.” That hurts.

  I spin around to face her. “I borrowed it from Molly, okay? I didn’t steal it, and if you don’t believe me ask Molly yourself.”

  She steps out of her house and shuts the door behind her. “Molly is your sister. How am I to know she won’t lie for you?” she asks while walking across the sidewalk to where I’m standing in the driveway.

  “You don’t, but if you know anything about Molly, covering for my ass in a situation like this isn’t something she’d ever do. I’m lucky she even loaned me the money. And the only reason she did that is because it was you I screwed over. If it’d been anyone else, she probably would’ve told me to fuck off and figure it out for myself, so don’t think you’re the only one mad at me.”

  The corner of her mouth turns up but disappears as soon as I blink. She wants to smile. I know she does, but she’s not going to give me the satisfaction. If I can’t change her mind then maybe Molly can. Bingo. That’s my way in. Now that I’m here and Phoebe won’t think I’ve put Molly up to contacting her, I’ll convince Molly to text her asking how she’s doing since she knows I’m here. And Molly can tell her how big of a douche I am, and that I’m really trying to straighten my shit up.

  Molly to my rescue…again. I need to buy her a fucking cape.

  PHOEBE

  Never in a million years could I dream Blue would show up unannounced at my doorstep. The beautiful, blond surfer boy who rocked my world in more ways than one, came all the way to Pennsylvania to pay me what he owes me? Is this guy for real? Who does that?

  Most guys would chalk it up as a loss, but not Blue. He’s not like most guys. He’s more of your go big or go home type of man.

  I’m still pissed at him, there’s no doubt about that, but I’m not upset like I was before. It’s been over a month and I already considered that money gone. Be
sides, my days of holding grudges ended years ago. Life is too short for that shit.

  When he said Molly was mad at him, I can totally believe it. I might have only spent a little bit of time with them together, but it was enough to know she didn’t put up with his bullshit. Speaking of Molly, maybe I’ll take him up on his offer and text her. Our texting lasted about the first week after I got home. I feel bad for not staying in touch with her as it is, and she’s probably been afraid to message me because of my anger toward Blue. I guess after a while it gets hard not to talk to her without bringing up her brother in the conversation.

  Blue stands in my driveway with his hair slicked to his head from the light drizzle that’s started. He stares at me with apologetic eyes before he turns around to leave. Except I don’t see a car anywhere. Surely he drove here in a rental.

  “Where’s your car?” I ask, stopping him again.

  He slowly turns around. “I don’t have one. Uber dropped me off.”

  “Then where are you going?”

  He shrugs. “Wherever.”

  “How’re you getting there?”

  “I’ll walk.”

  Damn him. He’s got me over here feeling sorry for him. Kudos, Blue. One point for you.

  My forgiving heart always gets the best of me. Damn, why can’t I be a cold-hearted bitch? So many other girls make it look so easy. It seems like every time I give it a try, karma comes at me like a starving piranha.

  I blow out a heavy breath. “C’mon. Get your ass inside…at least until it stops raining,” I tell him. Shit, I should’ve looked at the weather before inviting him in. It’s been raining in different measures all day. Knowing my luck, it’ll come down in buckets the rest of the day.

  His eyebrows arch high, and I can see a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Are you sure?” he asks.

  “Yes. You’re wet, I’m getting wet. You don’t have a ride, and I’m not that big of a bitch to leave you out here stranded with no transportation and nowhere to go.”

  His lips turn up into a half smile, and he shyly says thanks when he walks up beside me.