All Grown Up

by Tori Carson

  All Grown Up

  Tori Carson

  Book two in the Master’s Touch series

  Can lightning strike twice? Steven isn’t sure he wants it to. When Brianna left, his life crumbled. He lost his job, his place, and his confidence—something no Dom can afford to lose. After exhausting his resources without finding her, he somehow moved on.

  Now Brianna is back, searching for him. She knows leaving Steven was the biggest mistake of her life. He’d given her everything she’d wanted but not what she’d needed. He’d tried to warn her when they negotiated their BDSM contract, arguing she needed a firmer Dom, yet more independence. She’d argued right back until he’d conceded. He’d trusted her to come to him when she’d discovered her mistake. But her pride wouldn’t allow it and instead, she’d run.

  Finding him again is a dream come true. Though she knows it won’t be easy, she vows to find a way back into his heart and his bed.

  A Romantica® BDSM erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave

  All Grown Up

  Tori Carson

  Chapter One

  Brianna stared at the stage with a mixture of terror and hope. She’d been searching for Steven for so long, she couldn’t believe the hunt was over. The other half of her soul was right there. If she hadn’t fucked up, she’d be the woman standing before him, feeling the kiss of his whip. Every instinct demanded she storm the stage, toss the woman into the audience and take her rightful place. But she’d lost that privilege when her pride and fear had sent her running.

  It had been the worst mistake of her life. The first year should have been the hardest. Time was said to heal all wounds. Bullshit. The gaping hole in her heart grew more jagged and painful every day they were apart.

  Each crack of his whip brought bittersweet memories to her mind. Steven had been a Master with the four-footer. Apparently, his skill had only improved with time. Now, he wielded the six-footer with complete confidence.

  Physically, he’d changed little over the years. His dark-brown hair may have a touch of gray at the temples, but it could have been a trick of the lights. He’d grown a goatee and she couldn’t help but wonder how that would feel as he went down on her. Since she’d walked out on Steven, she hadn’t allowed another man that close to her. It had never felt right. She belonged to Steven. Why had it taken her so long to figure that out?

  Brianna’s heart was pounding as the demonstration came to an end. She’d spent the last week watching and preparing. Her objective was clear—regain her man. It wouldn’t be easy. He was more likely to toss her out on her ass than welcome her with open arms. It took a bit of doing, but she’d secured a job at the club. Throwing her out was no longer an option. Whether he liked it or not, she’d be at the club every night, right by his side. Now it was time.

  Steven released the sub from her bindings, spoke a few moments with her and her Dom, then sat with his legs dangling off the stage. “Questions, comments?”

  While Steven responded to the crowd, Brianna took stock of her emotions. The tremendous relief she’d felt when she’d realized the woman with him wasn’t his sub almost brought her to her knees. One hurdle down. If he’d been in a committed relationship, he would have scened with his sub—most likely. Hopefully.

  The taste of copper filled her mouth. Damn it. She was so nervous, she’d bit her lip and made it bleed. Enough of this waiting shit. Brianna stood. “How many hours do you practice to keep your aim sure and true?” It had been his mantra while perfecting his skill. He had refused to scene with her using a whip until his aim was sure and true.

  Brianna watched Steven’s body tense before he shielded his eyes from the stage lights and scanned the audience. She was standing toward the back…not quite the impressive sight she’d wished for. Stupid house rules refused footwear for subs. Her form-fitting, PVC outfit lacked its punch without her fuck-me boots. Oh well, it was still an eye-turning ensemble and the complete opposite of what she’d worn during their time together.

  “Brianna?” His voice was barely above a whisper. He slid off the stage and onto his feet as she made her way to him.

  “Master Steven, do you recommend a Dom start with a shorter length and work up to the longer lengths or is it okay to start with the six-footer?” a member asked, ignoring the byplay.

  As Brianna reached Steven’s side, she dropped to her knees and presented for him. Not only was it a habit, but her legs were shaking so badly she wasn’t sure they would hold her much longer.

  Steven stared at her as if not quite trusting his eyes. His hand shook slightly as he ran it down her hair. Suddenly, he fisted and spun it around his wrist. With his right hand, he pulled his toy bag closer then removed a collar and leash.

  With tears in her eyes she waited. Could it really be that easy?

  “Stand,” he ordered.

  She followed his command without hesitation, proud her leg muscles lifted her in one flowing motion. Slowly, he opened his hand, releasing her hair, and held the collar for her to see. Brianna smiled and gathered her hair out of the way, while he placed the play collar around her neck. Once the leash clicked into place, she sank to her knees and presented again.

  No matter how many deep breaths she took, she couldn’t stop her trembling. Steven, on the other hand, carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He’d always been able to tie her into emotional knots. He handled any crisis with calm, sure confidence while she…ran. No wonder he’d put a leash on her. He probably figured she’d be halfway to her car by now if he hadn’t.

  Brianna forced herself to relax. There was no place in the world she’d rather be than at the end of Steven’s leash, unless it was nestled in his arms. She wouldn’t run again—no matter what. Steven continued to answer questions while she kneeled at his feet, wondering how this would play out, praying he’d listen and accept her back.

  “If you’ll please excuse me, I have a matter to attend to. Feel free to discuss any other questions you may have with me in private at a later time.”

  She felt his gaze drift over her body like an arctic breeze before his hand circled her upper arm like a vise.

  “Come along.”

  “Yes, Master Steven.” She wanted to call him Master. Just Master. The personal “I’m yours and you’re mine” Master…not the respectful title given to him by all the club members. She’d dreamed of it for so many years now, it seemed natural. And yet she’d never uttered the phrase in real life. During their relationship, he’d been her Daddy. Not her actual father—that would be too gross even to contemplate. No, Steven had been her Daddy Dom and she’d been his little girl.

  It was a role he’d never sought, but he’d agreed to it because she was convinced it was what she’d needed. While they’d negotiated their contract, he’d argued she wouldn’t thrive under such conditions, but she’d insisted. It was the only time in their relationship she had disregarded his input and stood firm with her beliefs. In the end, he’d agreed to each detail and lived up to his responsibilities in every way, never once making her feel that it was something he didn’t enjoy. But within a few weeks, she’d begun to chafe under his constant care. Care that she had demanded he give…

  After a few months, she’d known he’d been right all along. Her personality wasn’t suited for a DD/lg relationship. He must have sensed something had been off. Several times, he’d asked if she wanted to revisit their contract. Each time she’d refused to admit there was a problem or that she’d been wrong. If she’d only spoken up, all this could have been avoided.

  Steven led her through the impressive club. She’d never seen anything like it. Instead of the usual dungeon theme, Cat Tails was a garden oasis. Trees and plants flourished inside the warehouse-sized space. It was the most beautiful club she’d e
ver been to and, while searching for Steven, she’d visited plenty.

  Instead of finding a quiet spot under the canopy of a tree, Steven led her out of the arboretum and into the employees-only section. She stood silently by his side while he dug his key from the pocket of his leathers and opened the door.

  Not completely sure his mind hadn’t jumped the track, he kept a firm grip on the leash. He couldn’t stop looking at her, afraid that at any moment she would disappear. Steven considered she might be a figment of his imagination, but he would have never put her in that outfit. Holy shit, she is every man’s fantasy. Brianna wasn’t getting away from him again.

  He didn’t know what to say. There were so many questions, so much pain—raw debilitating pain floating around in his head, he wasn’t sure where to begin.

  Brianna stepped into the middle of the room and turned in a circle before stopping to look at Steven. “Your office is just like our den back home.” She smiled at him, obviously thinking of a fond memory.

  His memories were tarnished and covered in ash from her scorch-and-burn departure from his life. He’d decorated his office in honor of their time together, but it had been a mistake. He could barely step foot in the room. The couch Brianna was running her fingers over was pristine. It lacked the worn creases they’d lovingly created in the original. When night after night, she would lay her head in his lap and he would talk about his day. They’d made plans for their future, made love, dispensed discipline…on that couch. This sad copy was a cold reminder of everything that had gone wrong since.

  “Sit,” he ordered as he leaned against his desk. Brianna flinched at his harsh tone but immediately sank to the floor. He had expected her to use the couch, but the floor worked fine. It would be harder for her to run away…again.

  “Are you all right?” Other than her clothes and a few personal items, she’d left with nothing. She’d never taken a dime from their account. Of course, in his search for her, he’d drained it, maxed out their credit cards and torpedoed his life right into a hellhole.

  Brianna looked surprised by the question. “I am now.” She closed her eyes and when she opened them tears sparkled in the light. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  God, he wanted to take her in his arms and let those tears flow down his chest while he cuddled her and made it all better. But he couldn’t, not until he had some answers. Over the years, he’d gone through every minute of their relationship. He’d done something unforgiveable, but damned if he could figure out what it was.

  Had he been too strict or not strict enough? She’d been pulling away from him. He’d felt it and tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t open up to him. No matter how he approached the subject, she assured him everything was fine. He should have insisted.

  Maybe she’d felt neglected. Back then, his prestigious job in New York City had been so important. He’d just been promoted and his six-figure salary was going to allow them to live the life they’d sat on their couch and dreamed of. Until he’d come home from work one day and she was gone, leaving only a letter.

  I can’t do this anymore. Please don’t look for me. Brianna.

  All he had thought about was finding her. He’d used every resource he had to no avail. Without her, life lost its meaning. She’d been his compass, the driving force behind every breath he had taken. He’d lost his job, his apartment, their belongings, everything, and none of it mattered. The only loss he mourned was Brianna.

  Steven had traveled the northeast looking for her. He’d hired a private detective and when a lead would surface, Steven explored each and every one. Nothing.

  He’d met Sean in a kink club in Boston, while Steven tracked down another worthless lead. Steven had been at the end of his rope. All he’d had to his name was a single box of personal items and his car, which he had slept in most nights. With an empty stomach and an even emptier wallet, he’d taken Sean’s gracious offer to help him set up and run Cat Tails. If Sean hadn’t given him a chance, he had no idea where he’d be right now.

  It had taken years, but his life was finally back on track. He’d bought a home and most days he made it through the daylight hours without thinking of Brianna. At night, all bets were off. Sometimes before his eyelids even fell shut, she’d come to him, haunting him every damn night. It was as if he could keep up the façade during the day, but the moonlight ripped away his protective shield and his old wounds bled freely.

  He wasn’t certain he’d survive her reentering his life. The thought of losing her again was more than he could handle. But she wasn’t his to lose. This beautiful woman sitting mere feet away from him looked nothing like the submissive who’d stolen his heart and soul. The Brianna he knew had an insecure streak a mile wide. He’d thought she’d needed him. This woman was the embodiment of confidence. She didn’t need him or anyone else.

  “You look good,” Brianna told him with a tentative smile on her full sexy lips. “And the club is amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  He wasn’t playing that game. They weren’t old acquaintances who met on a crowded street and felt compelled to touch base. This was the woman he’d meant to spend the rest of his life with. He’d shared everything with her. He’d bared his soul to her…until she’d walked away. “And the weather is partly cloudy with a chance of rain. Now that we’ve covered the bullshit, tell me what happened.” He couldn’t ask the question beating a tattoo into his brain. What did I do that was so heinous to make you leave me?

  Brianna bit her lip and lifted her eyes to the ceiling. He knew that look well. She was trying not to cry. Maybe she wasn’t as self-composed as he’d first assumed. He dug his fingers into the edge of his desk to keep from going to her. No matter how badly he wanted the last six years to be swept under a rug and forgotten, he had to know what had happened. Otherwise, he was doomed to repeat the same mistake. And if he wrapped her in his arms, he’d have her naked and under him before either of them could utter a word. That was a given.

  Her body had filled out since he’d seen her last. Those perky little barely B breasts were at least a C now and so luscious encased in PVC, his mouth was watering. She had a woman’s hips and an ass he could spend hours fucking. What the hell was she doing to him? Had she come to finish him off? Was his transgression so severe the penalty was complete ruin? He’d barely survived the first time.

  “I’m so sorry.” Her anguished whisper tore out his heart.

  “Why did you leave me, Brianna?” His stomach was in so many knots they’d never completely unravel, but he stood his ground.

  “I should have talked to you, but I let my pride and fear stop me. Please forgive me.” She was crying in earnest now. Her hands were unable to contain the flood of tears that seeped between her fingers to splash on her lap.

  He had no fucking willpower when it came to Brianna. After grabbing the box of tissues off his desk, he took her in his arms. The memories of times past and a yearning for a future hit him hard. He’d spent most of his adult life wanting this woman. No one else could compare and it wasn’t for lack of searching. Once he’d accepted that Brianna was gone and wasn’t coming back, he’d slept with more women than he could count. None of them measured up.

  She still fit perfectly in his arms, her head nestled into the crook of his shoulder and, just like that, he was home. Her scent invaded his senses and carried him back to happier times. Back to when she was his and all was right with the world.

  Steven led her to the couch and pulled her onto his lap while she cried herself to sleep. If he had to guess, the adrenaline rush from their meeting had passed and exhaustion had taken over. His hands still trembled from the pent-up emotions seeing her again brought to the forefront.

  He looked at her finger and was relieved to see she wore no man’s ring. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t contemplate a relationship with her again.

  With another woman, he’d have considered her tears a ploy, but Brianna hated to cry. She would get so angry with herself w
hen she lost control and allowed her emotions to get the better of her. He doubted that had changed over the years. Her cute-as-hell sup, sups from too much crying and the familiar ache from holding her in his arms were the same too.

  Her body tensed and he knew she’d awakened. He pulled a couple tissues from the box and handed them to her.

  “Thank you.” She cleaned up as best she could and stared into his eyes, probably trying to gauge his mood.

  He wished her luck. His emotions were all over the board. Should he paddle her ass, make love to her, or throw her out? Maybe all three and in that order…

  “I searched for you, hired private investigators, traveled to every city you ever mentioned…and found nothing. You just disappeared. Why?” He made sure his tone was factual, not overlaid with emotion.

  “I went to North Carolina and stayed with my old roommate from college. I needed to get away and get my head together.” Her eyes dropped to the used tissue.

  “You were always a complicated lady, but six years seems longer than necessary.” A soft blush dusted her cheeks and he had to use every ounce of control he had not to kiss her.

  “After you left New York, I lost track of you and it took a while to find you again.” She gave him a sad smile. “Steven, leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I was an idiot and I pray you’ll forgive me.”

  “Why, Brianna? We can’t move forward until you tell me why.” He was striving for patience, but damn it, he’d waited six motherfucking years and he was getting some answers.

  “You were right about everything.” She still refused to meet his gaze.

  Steven forced himself to stay silent.

  “When we were negotiating our contract, you told me I wouldn’t thrive in a DD/lg relationship. You said it works great for many, but it wasn’t for us. I pushed the issue and argued on every point until the contract read exactly the way I wanted it.” She was speaking slowly while picking at the tissue.