Shady Oaks

by Jerry Boyd

  “Joshua, my old neighbor, called to tell me someone was looking for me, and then Snitz ran under the couch.”

  “We heard the shop door, what was that all about?”

  “I guided him in down there, but as soon as I figured out the issue was medical, I figured the quickest way was to fly them over here.’

  “What kind of medical? More flu?”

  “Nope. Snakebite. John got her in the ‘doc quick enough, so it’s all good. Max checked the saucer for trackers, can you bring over a maintenance bot so we can quiet the durn thing down?”

  “Sure. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

  “Bye.”

  When I got back to the kitchen, John and Max had Micky calmed down. Free nickname with every saucer repair, it’s company policy. I asked, “How long do you think she’ll need in the ‘doc, John?”

  “It estimated eight hours when I put her in, but that thing is almost as reliable as a Windows progress bar. I’m thinking by morning she’ll be good to go.”

  “Max, will the Guide realize they’ve had trouble?”

  “Her vitals would have triggered her badge to send a message. Probably they would hand it off to the Patrol, since there’s not a base anywhere close.”

  “I’ll call Mike.”

  I dialed him up on the comm, hoping I wasn’t going to be his dry cleaner again today. “Sergeant Darning.”

  “Hi Mike, had a walk in you might want to know about. Guide team was on planet, one of them got bitten by a snake. She’s in the autodoc, should be fine by morning, so if you get any alerts, don’t worry too much.”

  “Thanks for the update. That courier from this morning never said a word about you boys giving her trouble. Guess you just don’t make that big an impression.”

  “I’ll have to let Dingus do the talking next time.”

  “That would do it. Later.”

  “Bye”

  Nikki pulled in and went to the garage. Micky spoke up. “What’s she going to do to our saucer?”

  “Fix it so it doesn’t annoy my dog, and if know her, she’ll probably fix your teaching machine while she’s there. You don’t like headaches, do you?”

  “You mean that bulletin wasn’t a load of crap? I thought it some headquarters weinie’s idea of a joke.”

  I just shook my head. John said, “It’s real, Micky, it’s real.”

  “Micky? Why do you call me that?”

  “Free nickname with every new customer. Company policy.”

  Nikki came into the house. “Mickolec, how nice to see you! I tried to invite you to the wedding, but I guess the message got lost.”

  “I looked up the word, and found something about a primitive commitment ritual. Whole thing didn’t make sense, so I ignored it.”

  I said, “Space Cadet, some people just don’t like the smell of sheep guts burning.”

  “That’s enough out of you, Caveman. Who are you partnered up with nowadays, Mickolec?”

  “Randinkus Bongwater. She’s just starting out.”

  “Randinkus Bongwater! Lilacrious’ little sister?”

  “The reporter, you mean?”

  “Yes”

  “She is. Why?”

  “I better call and let her know. She’s supposed to be back soon anyway.”

  Nikki pulled out her comm and dialed. “Lyla, it’s Nikki. You sister Randinkus is here. She’s been bitten by a snake, but John has her in the ‘doc and she should be okay by morning.”

  Nikki listened, then said, “See you then. Fly careful.”

  She said to us, “She was on her way, anyhow. Should be here for supper.”

  I got a text on my comm from Topper. It was his list for painting Dingus’ bike. I asked, “You’ve got this, don’t you, John?”

  “I do. What’s up?”

  “Need to run to town to pick up some paint for Topper. Dingus is tired of riding a pumpkin.”

  “I gotta see what those two come up with. What else you got the boys doing?”

  “Right now they’re putting a hard floor in my barn. Gives them something to do while they think about how to build a car for Joanna.”

  “Sure am glad we found those guys.”

  “Me too. I better get going. Nikki, can I get a ride back to my truck?”

  “Take Dee’s car. I want to stay and get caught up with Mickolec. He trained me.”

  “Okay. Call if you need a ride home. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Caveman.”

  I took the keys and headed out. I didn’t figure I ought to haul paint in Dee’s Chevelle, so I took it back to our place, and gave her the update on Lyla’s sister. Dingus was still in the barn with the boys. I took off for town. Topper had emailed his requirements, so the paint store had his order waiting for me. Felt strange being an errand boy for a robot. While I was in town, I went by to see Joshua. “Hey neighbor, how are you doing?”, I asked.

  “Fine, Bob. You find that fella?”

  “I did. Friend of my wife’s family, in from out of town. Said he didn’t have the house number, so he parked and walked a little bit.”

  “He seemed kinda jumpy.”

  “Lady he was traveling with wasn’t feeling well. He was trying to find her a place to rest a while.”

  “Bob Wilson saves the day, huh?”

  “Don’t spread that around, you’ll ruin my reputation as a nasty old man.”

  “You’re something, Bob.”

  “I just came by to thank you for looking after things.”

  “No problem, Bob. Can you stay for supper?”

  “Nope. I’ve got a load of supplies for my crew. If I don’t get back soon, I’m gonna hear about how I’m the one keeping the work from getting done.”

  “You’ve got a crew, now?”

  “Had a rich uncle I didn’t know about. Left me a ridiculous amount of money. I’m trying to get the new place fixed up.”

  “Nice work if you can get it.”

  “It is. Anything I can do for you?”

  “I’m good, Bob. Tell your pretty wife I said hi.”

  “I’ll do it. See you later.”

  “Bye.”

  I got back, and put Topper’s paint in the shop. I texted to tell him it was in. When I got to the house, Snitz was waiting on the porch with a Frisbee. Seemed like a good way to spend a little time. Entirely too soon, Dee came out and said, “You better start a fire, Bob. Everybody’s coming for supper. Micky wants to see the root cellar.”

  “Thanks for asking, Dee. Of course I’d be glad to grill for the whole crew.”

  “Asshole. Are you cooking or not?’

  “I am. Just enjoying spending time with Snitz for a change.”

  I got the grill going, and when the fire was about ready, Dee brought out steaks and corn. Luckily, somebody had built one of those big brick barbecues in the back yard when they were popular, and no one had torn it out. The boys were going to have to enlarge it, if our crew kept growing. I heard John’s Wagoneer pull up, and Nikki came around the house. I got the flying hug. “Caveman! I missed you!” She kissed me. The steaks might have burned, but my comm went off. “Bob Wilson, how can I help you today?”

  “Open the barn, Bob. I’m back.”

  “Lyla, can you call Topper and see where he wants you to park? The boys are putting a new floor in the barn.”

  “I don’t have his comm code.”

  “I’ll send it to you. See you in a little bit.”

  I sent her Topper’s code. I heard the shop door go up. A little later, it went back down, and Lyla came walking up the hill. “Hi guys, Nikki, you do know climb him like a tree is just an expression, right?”

  I realized I was still holding Nikki off the ground, and put her down. I said, “Oops, busted.”

  Nikki said, “We’re newlyweds. PDA’s are part of the job, right?”

  I said, “You’re right.” I kissed her again. Did a dip. Lyla laughed. “You two! Watch the steaks, Bob.”

  Nikki asked, “Are you okay, Lyl
a?”

  “I’m a little worried about Randinkus, to be honest. What did John have to cut off of her?”

  “No cutting. We just dumped her in the autodoc. John had to program for the type of venom, but that wasn’t a big thing.”

  “She’s at John’s, then? I saw his vehicle out front.”

  “I’m sure he has the ‘doc set to call him if anything out of the normal occurs.”

  “It’s just that she’s my little sister. I worry.”

  “Go on in the house, and ask John. He can tell you exactly what’s happening.”

  She left, and I noticed the steaks were ready. Nikki helped me carry them in the house.

  We had a good meal, until Micky asked, “This is very good, what is it?”

  Lyla and Nikki spoke up in unison, “Roasted animal parts! Cooked over fire.”

  I thought for a second we were going to see Micky’s steak again, but he got it under control. Max said, “You girls are mean. Mickolec, don’t let these two idiots keep you from enjoying your supper.”

  Micky replied, “I suppose I’m not as adaptable as I once was. It is very good.”

  Nikki said, “The smoke does wonderful things for the flavor. It is one of the things they do much better than us.”

  “Just this?”

  “Cooking in general. Some of them consider it an art form, if their video presentations are to be believed.”

  “Sustenance, an art form? I am a long way from home.”

  “Wait till you see the lengths some of them go to in preserving their history. Working with the tools of the past, to preserve the skills of hand work. It’s amazing to me.”

  “Sounds interesting. Strange, but interesting.”

  Dingus got a message on his comm. He looked a little stunned at first, but it turned into a huge grin. He mumbled, “Them boys are something else.”, and got up. He wandered out. Micky asked, “Was it something I said?”

  I replied, “Not at all. Topper finished the new paint on his bike, I’m guessing. We should adjourn to the front porch, he’ll be back in a minute.”

  We heard him kick it to life. Micky asked, “What is that noise?”

  Nikki answered, “My Grandpa’s new ride.”

  “Grandpa? You mean the man you call Dingus is Dingolus Slongum?”

  “Didn’t Dad mention it to you? He’s not lost any more. We found him in the backyard.”

  Max spoke up, “I told him, he just didn’t believe me.”

  Dingus came around the corner of the house, goosed it, and wheelied across the yard. He turned around and rolled up to the porch. He shut it off. Max said, “You sure make an entrance, Dad.”

  “What is it Bob says?, ‘Never do a vast thing, in a half-vast way’?”

  Max looked at Micky, while the rest of us were cracking up. “It is what the locals call a pun, using words that sound alike to convey more than one meaning.”

  “This culture is more complicated than I expected.”

  Dingus said, “Come look what Topper did for me, it’s beautiful.”

  The main parts of the bike were yellowish tan. From a distance, it just looked like it was painted to blend with a desert. That struck me odd, since we weren’t in one. Then I got a little closer, and saw the flowing mane painted across the top of the tank. Knowing Topper, I started slowly walking around to catch the details, or, rather the tail, painted down the back fender. Topper had managed to make the hair look so realistic, you wanted to reach out and pet it. Dingus saw me drooling, and said, “Have a look at the headlight.”

  I did. My appreciation for Topper shot up. Not only did the mane continue on top of the light housing, but there was a beautifully done horse’s eye on each side. The front fender had a nose painted at the end. Dingus said, “That boy is plain flat amazing. He made it look like my old Palomino.”

  “How did he get it dry so fast?”

  “I asked. All he would say is, ‘Ancient Chinese secret’. You know what that means?”

  “It means I need to find more for those boys to do, and keep ‘em off the internet.”

  Dee spoke up, “Now this looks like your ride, Space Ranger. You gonna get me a helmet so I can ride along?”

  “Sure thing, D-lightful.”

  Nikki came out with the cellar key and some flashlights. She said, “Come on, Mickolec. Seeing is believing.”

  Dingus sounded disgusted. “Why is it so hard for people to believe I took a little nap? I went and got the paperwork to prove it, and everything.”

  I replied, “Come on, somebody needs to catch him when he passes out.”

  Dingus and I followed them down in to the cellar. Micky managed to stay upright, but he was a little shaken. Then Nikki showed him how close the power core had come to failing. “Oh My! Another half year and it would have failed completely. You just happened to find him? That’s too lucky for words.”

  Dingus spoke up, “The fella I had arranged with to wake me up died before he could properly pass on the tools and knowledge to get me out of that thing. The luck was that Bob here is a descendant of a guy I knew back then. He knew enough to find the things he needed to get me out.”

  Dingus showed him what was left of the jerky, hard tack, and pemmican. “But my guns and ammunition still worked fine.”

  “Guns?”

  “Charger for my stunner quit working after awhile. Go native or go without.”

  We came back up, and locked the cellar. Dingus said, “I need to take a little ride. You mind coming along, Bob?”

  “Not at all.”

  I was curious as could be, but I figured it would get clear soon enough. I climbed on behind Dingus, and held on. Strangely, he was riding slow and cautious. He seemed to be looking for landmarks that had changed with the years. Then he got his bearings, and we rode to the top of a little hill. He appeared to be taking sights on a few other hills, and then he knelt and started feeling in the dirt. “Help me look, Bob. It should be right around here.” I knelt with him, not knowing what we were looking for. I felt a flat stone under the grass. Pulling away the sod, I saw it was a headstone. Dingus said, “Good, he’s still here.” I read the stone. “Sunshine 1853-1872” I asked, “Your horse?”

  “Yep. Ezra and your Great Grandpappy helped me bury him. I thought he ought to see the new colt.”

  “Damn, Dingus, there must be some nasty pollen up this way, my eyes are watering.”

  “Me too, Son, me too.”

  We rode back in silence. When we got there, he asked Dee to go, also. Nikki asked me where we went, and I told her, “I’ll tell you later. It’s kinda private.”

  After they got back, Dee looked a little teary, too.

  John announced, “I’m gonna head on back, anybody who wants to sleep at my place needs to load up. You coming, Lyla”

  “I want to be here when Joanna gets in. I’ll be over in the morning.”

  “Okay. See you then.”

  Nikki told her, “We bought beds, you don’t have to sleep in the saucer any more.”

  “That’s okay, I’m used to it. It’s all the home I have, really.”

  Dee said, “Well, I didn’t go to all that effort to sleep in the saucer. We’re moving in the house, Space Ranger.”

  “Whatever you say, D-lightful.”

  I looked at Nikki and asked, “Did you pick up earplugs while you were in town?”

  “Earplugs? Wha… Caveman! That’s my Grandpa!”

  “That means he’s related to you, then, don’t it?”

  She sputtered and turned red. Dee said, “When do you take them contacts out, Bob Wilson?”

  “I’ll never tell.”

  Snitz wandered over carrying his Frisbee. That seemed like a good idea, and we played with him till we lost the light and had to go inside. Joanna showed up not too long after. She and Lyla had a big hug, and then Lyla told her about Randi getting snakebit. Joanna said, “Are you okay? That’s got to be a shock.”

  “John’s taking care of her, I know she’ll be fin
e, but I still worry.”

  “You better not be alone tonight. I’ll stay with you again, if you don’t mind.”

  “Thanks.”

  I asked, “Joanna, could I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure Bob, what is it?”

  “The boys have come up with some different ideas for your car, and they want your input on which way you want them to go. They’re raring to get started, do you want to talk to them now, or wait till morning?”

  She asked Lyla, “Are you okay, sweetie?”

  “Sure, go ahead. I know you hate having to borrow a car. I’ll be fine till you get back.”

  Nikki said, “Couldn’t she go too, Bob?”

  “No reason why not. I’m going, I want to see what the boys came up with. Ozzie’s going to want all the power they can squeeze in, and there just isn’t that much room.”

  Dee spoke up, “You kids have fun. We’ve got stuff to move.”

  Mouth-before-brain struck again. “I’ve got some singles, this time.”

  Dee walked over and turned, saying, “Put your money where your mouth is, Bob Wilson!” She started shaking her butt. I whipped out my billfold, and gave her a dollar in each pocket. I slapped her heinie and said, “Go on, now”

  She turned and stroked my cheek, “Ain’t you gonna pay extra for the lap dance, honey?”

  “I’ve seen your husband shoot. I wanna live.”

  Dingus cracked up. Soon the house was ringing with laughter. We went out to do what needed doing. Nikki seemed to think that Snitz needed to be cuddled on the couch. When we got to the shop, Topper said, “Hello, Ma’am. We’ve come up with a few different options for building your car. We would like your input on which one sounds most like what you want.”

  “Thank you boys for being so considerate. What are my options?”

  Topper showed her several power options using different Nissan engines. Ozzie showed how some people had managed to squeeze Chevy motors, both small block and LS in a Datsun. Even he was forced to admit that putting that much weight in the front end would compromise the handling. Taz presented a sneaky option that he said Dingus had suggested. It involved a Robot sized power core, and a Galactic tech motor hidden in the transmission case. He felt this option would be huge fun, but explaining to people where all the power was coming from would be difficult. Probably not the best choice for keeping a low profile. Then they came together to present one last option. “We believe the best balance of power and handling is going to come from a Ford Ecoboost, like they use in the Mustang. We will have to strengthen the car to handle the power, but we can use hull metal, which is both stronger and lighter than steel.”