Dangerous: Delos Series, Book 10

by Lindsay McKenna

  “I can’t…at least…not yet. Your surgery, Dan. If I move at all on that bed you’re lying on, it could tear your stitches. You need to be quiet and not be jostled.” She saw the disappointment in his expression.

  “Well? Later then? When I’m better?”

  She grinned as she saw a faint curve at the corners of his mouth. “I’d like that.” Sloan knew he had forgotten their talk. That was all right. Still, she wanted to lay against him, and hold him as someone she loved.

  CHAPTER 13

  Five days. Dan felt the stretch of the stitches as he put himself into a semi-sitting position in the hospital bed. He was restless after nearly a week of being forced to stay in bed. The sunlight was shining in bright slats through the window, covering part of his bed. He’d already had breakfast brought into him.

  He missed Sloan. She told him that for the next two days, she had to get her home in order. The ache in his heart over not seeing her daily made him grumpy. Last night, between sleep and wakefulness, the whole assault by Fahd Ansari, dumped into his memory. He drew up the covers around his chest as he lay there, scowling and remembering those vivid, terrifying moments.

  Closing his eyes, he saw Sloan leap out of the office, weapon drawn, her full, undivided focus on Ansari as he rounded the corner with an AK-47 in his hands, murder, and hatred in his dark eyes. Sloan had walked with such purpose, and concentration toward Ansari, Glock in both hands, fearless—and that had scared the hell out of Dan.

  There were so many feelings writhing through him right now; it was impossible to sort them all out and make any sense of them. He’d feared for Sloan’s life. He was shocked by her courage in the situation, facing Ansari down with that grim, hard look on her face. He had no training for ground war so when he found his Glock, all Dan wanted to do was protect Sloan. As he raced out of the office yelling at Samiah to stay down, he caught the two mechanics running out the other end of the hangar to save themselves. He remembered thinking that at least Malusi and Rauf would live to go home to their wives and children.

  He felt things for Sloan he’d never felt for anyone in his life. Dan lay there, eyes closed, his palm over his gowned chest, feeling the heavy thud of his heart. Sloan. Jesus, what kind of balls did the woman have on her? She never flinched. She didn’t react. She just kept calmly walking toward the killer, methodically firing her pistol. The courage she had stunned him.

  Opening his eyes, Dan felt lost and directionless. He didn’t feel good about himself. Those four years began to unravel in his mind, his brain dumping more memories. He had never expected to see Sloan again. But by luck, Providence, or some sick cosmic joke, she had walked into his life once more. And after getting over the shock of her showing up, he could feel his entire heart go into crash mode. Right now, he needed her.

  He dozed then, the pain medication dripping into the IV in one of his arms, easing him out of the conundrum of emotions writhing in his chest.

  *

  Sloan slipped into Dan’s hospital room, a large bag in her left hand. It was dinner time and snowing outside, the flakes melting on her black nylon coat, making wet spots all over it. Her heart pounded with anxiety. Would Dan come home with her or not? She’d devised a plan with Tal’s help, and it was a good one. Dan awakened as she closed the door.

  “Hey,” she called softly, “how are you feeling?” She brought the bag over and set it on the rolling tray.

  “Missing you,” he muttered thickly, feeling drowsy and fighting the drug haze. “Where have you been?”

  Sloan smiled a little, shrugged out of her jacket, and hung it across one of the chairs in the room. She fluffed her sable hair, the ends damp. “Getting my house in order,” she murmured. “I hate housecleaning, but I don’t know a woman who doesn’t.” She walked over to him, seeing darkness in his eyes. He looked depressed. She slipped her hand into his. “It’s a home now. And I did something for you. I made you dinner.” She pointed toward the large sack on the tray. “The docs said you could start eating solid food today, so I thought a home-cooked meal might make you smile.”

  Sloan was wearing a bright red long-sleeved sweater and jeans. They hugged her body beautifully and in all the right places. Her hair was down and framing her face; her cheeks pink from the cold. “That sounds too good to be true. I’ve hated the Jell-O and mush they’ve been giving me.”

  She chuckled. “Yeah,” she deadpanned, “I heard you gripe about it every day. Remember?”

  “Yeah,” he said, his voice rough with sleep, “I haven’t been exactly PC about being imprisoned in this bed.”

  Sloan moved the bag and set it on the side of his bed. “Maybe this will cheer you up? I made a pot roast with potatoes, carrots, celery, and some gravy. Does that sound good to you?”

  “Sure does. I didn’t know you were a hausfrau.” He gave her a crooked grin.

  “I’m many things,” she told him enigmatically. Drawing out a plastic plate and several containers, Sloan lined them up on the tray she’d pulled beside his bed. “How are you feeling?”

  “Less pain.”

  “Good. The doctors said you’re healing fast, Dan. And that’s a good sign, too.”

  “I’d like to get the hell out of this room. I hate hospitals,” he grumped, eyeing the food that she placed on the plate. His mouth salivated as the odors permeated the room. His stomach growled. Sloan looked up, grinning at him.

  “No secrets to you, are there?”

  “No,” he said, “none. This smells great.” He suddenly became serious, reached over, and grazed her cheek with his fingers. “Thank you for this. I know you didn’t have to do it. And it smells so damned good compared to the hospital food I’ve been choking down.”

  Struggling to keep things light, she put her dinner on the second plate she’d brought along. “Things will get better by degrees,” she told him quietly. Placing the emptied sack on the floor, Sloan pulled over a chair and sat down next to Dan’s bed, facing him. “Go ahead, eat,” she urged.

  As good as the food smelled, it tasted even better to Dan. “This is good,” he said between bites. “Thanks for doing this.” In no time, he had his plate cleaned up. “Is there seconds?” he asked hopefully, eyeing the sack on the floor.

  Sloan chuckled. “No. I made enough for just you and me. The rest is back home. I wasn’t sure how hungry you would be, Dan.”

  He pushed the tray aside. “Your food makes me hungry,” he admitted.

  Sloan stopped eating, her hands around the plate in her lap. “Dan? You know that in about two more days they’re going to release you and you can go back to your condo. Would you rather come to my house for a while? I could cook for you. I think getting good food made with love into you will help you bounce back more quickly.” She held his thoughtful expression. “How do you feel about that?” she asked, holding her breath, hoping against hope he’d come and stay with her. It had been Alexa, Tal’s younger sister, who suggested that she cook a meal for Dan to lure him to her home—after all, the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. They all got a huge laugh over that, but it was true. Now, Sloan tried to appear relaxed as if she’d offhandedly suggested the idea to him.

  She watched him look away as if digesting the idea. “The doc told me I’d need twenty-four-hour care once I got back to my place, Sloan.”

  “Yes, you will. I’d be happy to do it for you at my house. I’m a combat medic, and I don’t think anyone can take care of you as good as I can.” She kept her voice light and teasing, not wanting Dan to know just how badly she wanted him to come home with her.

  “It’s an idea,” he muttered. “But that will tie you down. You’ll have to cook for me all the time.”

  Shrugging, she forced herself to finish off her food. “I have to cook for one, anyway. Cooking for two is actually easier. I don’t see that as a hurdle we have to jump. Do you?”

  “I’ve been at my condo so rarely I hardly remember what it looks like,” Dan admitted.

  “I have a lovely
, small home. It’s out in nature, surrounded by trees and woodlands. It’s fifteen miles from Artemis. I think you’d like it. I have a herd of deer that come across the lawn at dawn and dusk every day. It’s peaceful.”

  “My dad,” he began haltingly, “isn’t in a position to help me.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, I called him earlier today,” Dan admitted, shaking his head. “He’s not the man he used to be. A faint copy of his old self. He knows I’ll need help recovering and I asked if he could do it.” His voice dropped. “He said no, and I understand why. He still works for that meat-packing company, and he’s not home a lot anymore. He eats out. He never stays home if he doesn’t have to.”

  Her heart broke for Dan. “I’m sure he wants you there but taking care of someone in your condition is sometimes seen as an impossible burden to others.”

  Rubbing his jaw, he said, “My dad and I have been estranged since I was nine. I didn’t expect him to say yes.”

  “But if you reached out to him, that means you really don’t want to be at your place with nursing help.”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled, mouth quirking.

  “My offer is still open. You know me, Dan, and I’m medically qualified to be there for you. I know how much you like to watch football games. There’s a flat-screen TV in the guest bedroom at my house.”

  “That sounds good,” he admitted.

  “So why do you look so glum about the possibility?” she pressed.

  “Sloan, you’ve saved my sorry ass twice. I guess I feel like I’m a damned bad penny that shows up in your life every now and then. All I’ve ever done is hurt you—or made your life miserable.”

  Wanting to cry, Sloan eased her hand from his. “First of all?” she whispered, “you’ve never been a burden to me, Dan. I always looked forward to seeing you whenever I could.”

  “Sloan, I remember now. I got one helluva download this morning about Bagram—about us and what I did to you.”

  She felt her heart skitter with pain and memory. “That was four years ago, Dan. We’ve both changed. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me on purpose. There were other issues in your life that pushed you in that direction.”

  Rubbing his brow, he stared over at her. Dan wanted her so damned badly he could taste it. And he knew now that he didn’t deserve a second chance with Sloan, much less ask her to take him in and become a temporary caregiver for him. “Why would you do this for me after what I did to you at Bagram?”

  Anguish squeezed at her heart, and she struggled to appear calm, to be his anchor, and not stir up more muddy water between them right now. “Well,” she whispered, “because I care about you to this day, Dan. We might not be lovers like before, but I’ve always liked you.” She swallowed hard. “And that hasn’t changed in the four years that separated us. I’m here for you. I’m your friend. And you can count on me to have your back. I’ll do everything in my power to help you heal. And I really do want you to come and stay with me. Plus, you get to watch all those great football games on TV.”

  “You work for Artemis,” he pointed out. “Most likely, Tal will assign you to another mission soon?”

  “No, I’ve accrued a lot of vacation days. More than enough to stay home and care for you. That’s not a worry here we need to fix. Tal’s already approved my leave for two months. I can remain with you, and we can get you healed up and on your feet sooner than later.” She saw some of the worry leave his expression. Four years ago, Dan thought of no one but himself, never her or her needs. Sexually, they were fully compatible. But he’d never reached out like he was doing now by taking her into consideration. That blew her away, but it also fed her hope that he had changed in the intervening years.

  He sighed and looked at the empty sack on the floor. “That was good food, Sloan. I’d like to share meals with you every day.”

  “I won’t kill you, that’s for sure. I’m a good cook, Dan.” Keep it light. Keep it teasing. It was tough not to reach out, slide her arms around his drooping shoulders, and kiss him until they melted together like the good lovers they were with one another. “We’ll make it work,” she promised thickly, unable to keep some of her feelings hidden from him.

  “Okay,” he said, “but only if it’s not too much. I’ve taken enough away from you. I feel like I need do something to atone for what I did. I don’t want to cause you more misery, is all.”

  Her face softened as she heard him fight to say those words. “It’s a different time and place.” Reaching out, she curved her fingers around his. “We’re older now. Experiences have changed us over the years. It will be fine. And it will work out. Don’t worry that it’s too much for me, okay?” Sloan loved him, and even though he was injured and would have a long recovery, it was a joy to be at his side helping him heal.

  “I feel like I’m using you again, Sloan.”

  Wincing inwardly, she knew that was true at Bagram. He did use her. But she’d agreed to his rules and they’d both benefitted from their intimacy with one another. “Let the past go, Dan. We’re both different.”

  “You need to tell me if I’m becoming a burden. Promise me that?” Dan drilled her with a dark, intense look.

  “You’ll never be a burden to me. But yes, if I feel like I’m in overwhelm with you, I’ll let you know.” She saw his expression relax and realized he was sincerely concerned about her, and not just himself.

  “So, do you know when they’re releasing me from this prison?” he jested.

  “Yeah. Two days from now.”

  “Is there any chance I could have dinner with you here the next two days?”

  “You want me to make dinner for us?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe order from a nearby restaurant or something. I don’t want you to have to drag your cooking here to the hospital for me. I don’t expect that.”

  Smiling a little, she said, “It would be an honor and pleasure to share dinner with you here in your room. It’s only two days. And it’s not stressful for me. I love to cook.”

  “Well, you’re damn good at it.” He scowled. “I don’t want to make you feel as if I’m taking advantage of you, is all.”

  The changes in Dan stunned her. Sloan wasn’t sure whether they were because he almost died and was reordering his life, or whether their talk on the beach was partially responsible for his change in attitude toward her. It wasn’t the drugs talking because he was on a much lower dose than before. She could see the alertness gleaming in Dan’s eyes. He was trying to be fair toward her. “I’ll let you know if and when you’re taking advantage of me. Fair enough?”

  “Then,” he said, clearing his throat, “I’m more than ready to come home with you two days from now.”

  “Good, because it’s the right decision.”

  “I wish I felt as confident as you do.”

  Tucking away his concerns, the words, I love you, nearly ripped out from between her lips. Sloan had to continually remind herself that Dan honestly didn’t know what love was. It was easy for her to see that he cared deeply for her or he wouldn’t be concerned about her welfare. Reaching out, she caressed his cheek. “When you care for someone, Dan, it’s never a burden on either person. Remember that.”

  CHAPTER 14

  When you care for someone, Dan, it’s never a burden on either person. Remember that?

  Those words broke Dan in a new way. He saw the grief, the love, and hope burning in Sloan’s eyes when she said this to him two days ago. It ate at him that night, and when he woke up the next morning, he remembered the discussion they’d had on the beach in Sudan.

  All of it.

  He wasn’t in a good mood that morning and had barely been civil to the male orderly who brought him his tasteless, uninspiring breakfast. Afterward, the man helped Dan out of his bed to walk up and down the halls, his slippers shuffling because of the gnawing ache in his side. The orderly stayed with him as he moved along, one hand gripping the IV pole so that he could walk in a straight line. Dan had been doing this ev
ery day since his surgery, and he was getting stronger. This morning, as he made his circuit around the floor, he realized Sloan would be doing this for him instead, starting today.

  Dan craved the freedom of getting out of the hospital. He longed for Sloan’s quiet, steady presence, her laughter, her smile, and her teasing. More than anything, Dan needed to let her know just how much she meant to him. He’d been so closed up to her. Staying at her home was a one-time opportunity, and he swore he wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

  Nearly dying had changed him. Sloan had saved his life a second time. He might not know what love was, but he knew that what he felt for Sloan was real—whatever the hell it was called it was real—and he wanted to pursue it to some conclusion with her. Dan had no idea what that meant, but he was damn well going to find out.

  *

  “Well?” Sloan asked, coming into her guest bedroom after the orderlies had gotten Dan situated in the hospital bed. “What do you think of your new digs?” She smiled. Dan looked exhausted from the transfer from the hospital to her home. He lay propped up at an angle in the center of the large, airy bedroom. The sun was shining brightly. The bedroom had two large windows, allowing plenty of light in. Before he arrived, she had pulled the sheer white curtains and the dark green drapes aside so he could see outside. The fall weather had cleared last night, and a bright blue sky had emerged. It was chilly and breezy, but Dan had been well wrapped in blankets for the trip.

  “It’s a helluva lot better than being in that hospital,” he said gruffly.

  “The worst is over, Dan. You look tired. Do you want to take a nap?” She saw the murkiness in his eyes. “You’re only seven days out of surgery, and your body needs a lot of sleep.”

  “Just being here is helping. Thanks for opening up your heart and home to me. You have no idea how glad I am to be here.” Sloan’s eyes became sympathetic as her fingers curled into his.