Just as Long as We're Together

by Judy Blume

  When we got to the college, we parked in a big field, then walked up a hill to a yellow-and-white-striped tent. There were rows of folding chairs set up inside and people were already taking seats. A girl handed us programs as we entered, and I followed Paul down the aisle to a pair of seats in the middle. I knew I could easily be mistaken for a college student and for once I was glad. It’s not just my height that makes me look older. It’s my body. Mom says she was an early bloomer, too. She says in a few years my emotional maturity will catch up with my physical maturity. But I think it already has.

  Outside the tent groups of students were settling on blankets on the lawn. I wished we could sit out there, too. It seemed much more romantic, even though the sun was still shining. If only the concert began at nine instead of six-thirty!

  I read my program carefully. This was the last in a series performed by visiting musicians. Tonight it was the Connecticut Valley Chamber Players, with an all-Mozart program.

  When the concert began, Paul closed his eyes. A lot of people close their eyes when they’re listening to music. It helps them concentrate on what they are hearing. But I couldn’t tell if Paul was concentrating or sleeping. Maybe he isn’t getting enough sleep at night. Maybe he needs vitamins. I looked over at his hands, which were relaxed in his lap. They looked strong, manly. I imagined them touching my face, my hair. But then I began to feel very warm and had to use my program to fan myself.

  The group of fifteen musicians played in different combinations for thirty-five minutes, took a short break, played for another half hour, then performed two encores. Paul applauded enthusiastically. He said, “Fantastic, aren’t they?”

  “Outstanding!” I agreed, even though they weren’t.

  Just as we were about to head back to Paul’s car, I heard someone calling my name. “Ra … chel!” I knew it was Tarren even before I turned and saw her. She was already weaving her way through the tent to us.

  “Hi …” she said, joining us.

  “Hi,” I answered. She looked very pretty. Her hair hung to her shoulders and she was wearing a low-cut sundress, showing off more than necessary.

  “Well …” she said, giving me a nudge in the side. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

  I really didn’t want to introduce Tarren to Paul. I didn’t want anyone reminding him that I am just thirteen. But there was no way to get out of it, so I said, “Paul Medeiros, this is my cousin, Tarren Babcock.” I spoke very fast and hoped Tarren wouldn’t ask any questions.

  A tall man with thinning hair came up to Tarren then, put his hand on her naked back and handed her a paper cup. “They didn’t have lime spritzers,” he told her. “Just plain seltzer.”

  “Thanks,” she said, smiling up at him. That’s when it hit me! This man, who looked as old as Dad, who wasn’t even good-looking, at least not to me, was Tarren’s Romantic Obstacle! She took a sip of seltzer, then introduced us. “Rachel, Paul … I’d like you to meet Professor Benjamin Byram.” She said his name proudly, then gave me a meaningful smile. I’m not sure if I smiled back or not. I felt weird, knowing this man and Tarren were involved in that way.

  Paul shook hands with Tarren’s Obstacle. “I was in your class two years ago,” he said. “Paul Medeiros.”

  “Of course,” Professor Byram said. “I remember …” But I could tell he didn’t. And so could Paul.

  A small, pretty woman with lots of pale curly hair came up to the Romantic Obstacle then and linked her arm through his. “Sweetie …” he said, clearly surprised. “I thought you said you couldn’t make it tonight.”

  “Well,” she told him, “the meeting didn’t last as long as I thought, and it was such a beautiful evening I asked the sitter to stay.”

  Tarren looked stricken—the way my father had the night Charles called him a wimp. “This is my wife, Francesca Hammond,” the Obstacle said to all of us.

  Francesca beamed at Paul. “Paul Medeiros! How good to see you. Where’ve you been hiding?”

  “You two know each other?” the Obstacle asked his wife.

  “Well, of course,” Francesca said. “Paul is one of my prize students.”

  Tarren looked like she was about to be sick. She’d turned a kind of grayish color, and one hand went to her throat. I don’t think anyone noticed but me.

  Francesca and Paul went right on talking. “I hear you’ve accepted a job teaching in Westport,” she said.

  “Yes,” Paul said.

  “That’s wonderful! Come in next week and we’ll have lunch. I want to hear all about it.” Then she turned to her husband and said, “Darling, the baby-sitter …”

  The Obstacle checked his watch and said, “Got to run. Nice to see you again, Paul. Glad to meet you, Rachel.” He turned to Tarren and held out his hand to shake hers. “If I don’t see you again, have a wonderful summer. It’s been a pleasure having you in my class.”

  He had to pull back his hand because Tarren wouldn’t let go. Then he and his wife walked away, arm in arm.

  Tarren watched them for a minute, then burst into tears.

  “What?” Paul asked.

  Tarren just shook her head and tried to stifle her sobs by covering her mouth with her hand.

  I patted her back.

  “Don’t tell me …” Paul said. “Another of Professor Byram’s conquests.”

  Tarren looked at him. “Conquests?” she managed to ask.

  Paul put his arm around her waist. “Come on,” he said to me. “Your cousin needs some cheering up.”

  Tarren leaned against Paul as he led her to his car. I got in back, by myself. She sat up front, next to him.

  We went to a diner and took a booth, where Tarren cried and Paul passed her napkins from the dispenser so she could blow her nose. When she shivered in her sundress in the air-conditioning, I handed her my sweater. She pulled it around her shoulders. Paul dropped a couple of coins into the jukebox on the wall and selected four songs, all hard rock, which totally shocked me. Slowly Tarren began to recover. She felt hungry, she said, and she and Paul smiled at each other, then ordered hamburgers and fries while I sipped a peppermint tea.

  “He was never right for me,” Tarren cooed to Paul over the apple pie and ice cream they shared for dessert. “I know that now.”

  “You were wasted on him!” Paul told her.

  “It was like … I couldn’t help myself,” Tarren said to him. They spoke as if I weren’t there, as if I were invisible. I hate being treated that way!

  On the drive home I think they were holding hands. But I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted it to be over. I just wanted to be alone in my room.

  Finally we pulled up in front of my house. I leaned forward and thanked Paul for taking me to the concert.

  “My pleasure,” he said.

  “See you, Rachel,” Tarren said as I got out of the car.

  At the last minute I leaned back in through her window and said, “Give Roddy a kiss for me.”

  I knew she hadn’t had the chance to tell Paul she was divorced, with a baby. Well, too bad!

  I will never forgive Tarren for ruining what should have been the most romantic night of my life! She’s such a fool, jumping from one Romantic Obstacle to another. I raced up to my room and closed the door, praying that Mom and Dad wouldn’t ask any questions. I was halfway undressed when Mom knocked on my door. “Rachel …”

  I didn’t feel like explaining anything to her now.

  When I didn’t respond, she knocked again. “Rachel … there’s someone here to see you.”

  Paul! He realizes he’s made a major mistake. He wants me, not Tarren!

  “It’s a boy,” Mom continued. “Jeremy something. Should I tell him you’re already in bed?”

  Jeremy … here? I began to get back into my clothes. “No!” I told Mom. “Tell him I’ll be right down.”

  “Okay,” Mom said. “But it’s getting late.”

  Why would Jeremy Dragon come to my house on -a Friday night at nine-thirty? It didn�
�t make sense. Nothing made sense!

  I had to shoo Harry out of the bathroom sink so I could splash my face with cold water. Then I fluffed out my hair, put on more strawberry lip gloss and flew down the stairs. I opened the front door but didn’t see him.

  “Pssst, Macbeth … over here.”

  I followed the sound of his voice to the maple tree.

  “Hey,” he said. He was wearing his dragon jacket. “How come you’re all dressed up?”

  “I just got back from a concert.”

  “Who was playing?”

  “The Connecticut Valley Chamber Players.”

  He didn’t act like that was unusual. He said, “You’re really into music, huh?”

  I nodded.

  He smiled at me. “How about a walk?”

  “Sure,” I answered.

  “Don’t want to run into … you know … them.”

  Charles and Dana were about the last people I wanted to run into, too.

  “So,” he said, fishing something out of his jacket pocket. It was his token race car from Monopoly. “I meant to give this back to you right away … then I forgot … sorry.”

  “That’s okay. Nobody’s played since that night.” Our hands touched as he gave me the car.

  We walked around the pond. I was glad it was dark so none of the neighbors, including Stephanie and Alison, could see us. When we got to the tree where the raccoons live, Jeremy stopped walking and faced me. “Macbeth …” His voice was hoarse.

  “What?” I think I sounded alarmed.

  He leaned toward me and before I even knew what was happening, his lips were on mine.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah … ever since Halloween when you came to my house reciting that stupid poem. I liked the way your mouth twitched.”

  “It does that when I’m nervous.”

  “Like now?”

  I touched my mouth. Was it twitching and I didn’t even know? He took my hand away. “It’s very kiss-able … you know?” He put his arms around me, pulled me close and kissed me again. My legs felt so weak, I thought I might fall over.

  On our third try, I kissed him back. I felt a surge go through my whole body. My mind went blank for a minute. Never mind animal attraction, this was electrical attraction! When I came back to earth, I asked, “What does this mean?”

  “Mean?” he said. He held my hand and we started walking again. “It doesn’t mean anything. It was … you know … just a couple of kisses.”

  No, I wanted to tell him! I don’t know. This is all new to me. This is nothing like kissing Max Wilson at the seventh-grade dance. But I didn’t say anything.

  He walked me home. We kissed one more time in the shadows. Then he smiled and said, “See ya …”

  Just when you think life is over, you find out it’s not. Just when you think you’ll never be foolish enough to fall for somebody else, it happens without any warning! I hope this doesn’t mean I’m going to be like Tarren, jumping from one Obstacle to the next. I don’t think it does. I don’t think it means anything except life is full of surprises and they’re not necessarily all bad.

  The next morning Stephanie called. “How was the concert?”

  “Boring.”

  “What do you mean by boring?”

  “You know … the music wasn’t that good and everyone there was ancient … over twenty, at least. I couldn’t wait to get home!”

  “So I guess you’re glad it wasn’t a date.”

  “Very!” I paused, lowering my voice. “I have important news but I can’t tell you over the phone.”

  “Well, what are you waiting for? Come right over!”

  “I kissed Jeremy Dragon!” I threw myself backward onto Steph’s bed, falling on top of about thirty stuffed animals. “Not once,” I told her, “not twice, but four times!”

  Steph’s mouth fell open. “Rachel … I’m so jealous!” I love the way Steph says exactly what she’s feeling without worrying about it. “How did this happen?” she asked.

  , “I don’t know. It was so bizarre. He came over to give me back a Monopoly piece and it just … well … happened.”

  “Does this mean you’re going together?”

  “No. It doesn’t mean anything. It was just a … couple of kisses.”

  “Did you react?”

  “You must be joking!”

  “Rachel!” she squealed. “I can’t believe this!”

  “You think you can’t!”

  Mom was sworn in as a judge on Tuesday morning. I think Charles was disappointed when he introduced himself to the governor as Charles Rybczynski and the governor didn’t say anything. I wonder if he’s going to get tired of his new name.

  Tarren wore a white suit and three-inch heels. She looked very … adult. She thanked me over and over for introducing her to Paul. They’ve been seeing each other every night. She says he’s wonderful with Roddy. I don’t want to hear about it. I made sure I wouldn’t be sitting next to her at lunch.

  Mom seems relieved now that she’s the Honorable Nell Babcock Robinson, though she still doesn’t know which court she’ll be assigned to. I think she’s also relieved Charles has a summer job working at the bakery in town. No one has said for sure what school he’ll be going to next fall, but Jessica and I think there’s a good chance it will be the high school, which means he’ll be living at home. I’m trying to learn from Jess, who says we should stop thinking about him and just let Mom and Dad work it out with Dr. Embers. I wish!

  Charles seems less angry since Ellis Island but I can’t say he’s changed. He’s probably never going to change. He’ll probably take pleasure in annoying me my whole life.

  With Jessica it’s completely different. We’re always going to be close, no matter what. Still, I was upset when she said, “I heard about that program at the college.”

  “What program?”

  “Challenge. Toad’s brother told me.”

  “Oh.” Until now I’d managed to put Challenge out of my mind. “You’re not mad, are you?” I asked.

  “Why would I be mad?” Jess said. “I learned long ago not to compete with you, Rachel. If I did, I’d just wind up resenting you and that wouldn’t be good for either of us. Besides, no matter what happens at school you’re still my little sister.” She laughed and gave me an elbow in the ribs.

  “Don’t mention anything about Challenge to Mom or Dad, okay?”

  “How come?”

  “Because I haven’t decided if I’m going to do it.”

  “Why wouldn’t you do it?”

  “I have my reasons,” I told her. “So promise you won’t say anything.”

  “You know I won’t.”

  On the last day of school we got out at ten because the ninth graders were graduating at noon. When I passed Jeremy in the hall, he was carrying his red cap and gown.

  “So, Macbeth … you hanging around this summer or what?”

  “I’m going to music camp,” I told him.

  “Play a song for me, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “See you in September.”

  “I’ll be back the end of August.”

  Some of his friends came along then, slamming into him. As they dragged him away, he looked back at me and waved. I waved, too. I can’t believe I actually kissed him! And that come September, I might kiss him again.

  “Nice that you and Jeremy get along so well.” I spun around. It was Dana, dressed in her cap and gown. But her cap wasn’t fastened yet and she had to hold it on with one hand.

  “Nice that you and my brother do,” I said.

  I didn’t want to go to the bakery after school but Alison insisted. She still has a thing for Charles. He was working behind the counter, wearing a white apron over his T-shirt and jeans. “Well, well, well …” he said, “if it isn’t the triumvirate! What brings you here?”

  “Hunger,” I told him.

  He plucked a dog biscuit out
of a jar and held it up. “These are quite savory. They appeal to all sizes and breeds.”

  “Woof, woof …” I said.

  Steph and Alison tried not to laugh. They each bought a giant-size chocolate chip cookie. When Charles handed Alison her change, he said, “I’m still waiting for you, California.”

  “What about Dana?” I asked.

  “Dana is my date du jour,” he said, using the French expression. “But California is something else.”

  Alison had this ridiculous look on her face. I hope that’s not how I looked when I was with Jeremy. “Come on …” I grabbed her by the hand and led her away. Steph followed.

  “Good-bye, my lovelies,” Charles called after us, giving Stephanie and Alison both a profound case of the giggles.

  When we were outside, Steph bit into her cookie and said, “He just likes to tease you, Rachel!”

  “Because you take everything so seriously,” Alison added, breaking her cookie in half and sharing with me.

  “I don’t take everything seriously!” I told them. “Just some things.”

  On the way home I invited them to my house for lunch. I felt safe knowing Charles was at work. Before we went inside, Alison said, “Guess what? As soon as Matthew’s born, we’re going to L.A.”

  “But you’ll be back in time for school, right?” Steph asked.

  “I think so,” Alison said. “I hope so.”

  “But Alison … you have to be!” Steph said. “You’re running for class president.” As soon as she said it, she clapped her hand to her mouth. She and Alison exchanged a look. “We were going to tell you before you left for camp,” Steph said.

  “We were just waiting for the right time,” Alison added.

  “I mean, you acted like you didn’t want to run,” Steph said, making excuses. “You acted like you were only doing me a favor.” She paused for a minute. “And Alison’s so popular. She has a real chance of winning.”

  “We just thought the Dare to Care Candidate was too good to waste,” Alison said.

  I didn’t know what to say! It’s true I was going to tell Steph I can’t run because of all my other activities. But I hadn’t told her yet. And I certainly never imagined she’d find herself another candidate and give away the slogan she thought up for me.