Redefining Rayne

by Amy Mullen

  Yet she knew what folding would mean. No matter how he treated her, she could not put her fledging respect for him above her own needs. She had done that once and it had cost her dearly. No, this was one battle she could not lose.

  Tillie arrived. The door scraped the floor as it swung wide. Rayne rose to greet her servant. The older woman floated into the room with an armful of clothing.

  "Milady," Tillie said, her eyes wide. "I have good news. I was down with the laundress, and she gave me some clothing items for you."

  Rayne admired the heap of clothing now resting innocently on her bed. Kirtles and linen smocks of various colors heaped together in a bright pile. She had left most of her good items behind, and these would more than make an ample wardrobe. With shaking fingers she reached out to touch them.

  "Where did these come from?" Rayne asked.

  "Aye, well, that is a story. These were made for Andre's first wife, Geva. Do you remember her? She was often at court before she married Andre. She never wore these things. They were being made when she died."

  Rayne paused. "Right before?"

  "Aye, before."

  "And?" Rayne said, eying Tillie with great interest. "Did you learn of how she died?"

  Tillie sat softly on the bed and sighed. "I am not sure. You see I have heard two different stories, milady, and I do not wish to alarm you unduly."

  Rayne shook her head. Stories, more often than not, were merely stories. Andre was as good as any man she supposed, but did not seem overly obnoxious. Did she want to know if something terrible had happened? She did remember Geva and always thought her a normal woman. A bit unhappy maybe, but nice enough.

  "Tell me."

  Tillie wrung her hands and spoke. "Some have said she was quite mad and threw herself from the unfinished wall. 'Twas more than a fit of madness, as the woman was not well for quite a while. It was said the lord cared for his wife, but she went mad. She muttered to herself a lot and seemed to look right through people at times. On the other hand…"

  "Aye?" Rayne said, walking to the window.

  "Oh dear," Tillie said, turning slightly from Rayne. "I may have misspoke."

  "What is it?"

  "Nay, milady, I do not wish to frighten you unduly, truly I do not."

  "Out with it, please."

  Tillie gulped and locked eyes with Rayne. "I feel 'tis a lie. I should not have said anything to you."

  "Whatever it is, I demand you tell me," Rayne said, her voice shaking. "Do not hide anything from me."

  "Others have said Andre tossed her from the wall, unable to deal with her madness any longer," Tillie said.

  Rayne's hand flew up to her throat. "Surely he did not kill her. Could I be betrothed to a murderer?"

  "I do not rightly know, milady," Tillie said hurriedly as she stood and went to Rayne's side. "Stories are what they are. If it helps, those telling the story do not believe it. They say he is a good lord. 'Tis just a rumor. I cannot say what happened. I would imagine Claude could throw a lady from a wall, but Andre does not share his manners. 'Twould seem he is unlikely to hit a lady. However, one can hide such a heart. I urge you to use care."

  "I cannot see it, Tillie," Rayne said, calming down quickly. "He jumped into the moat with me, he did not throw me. Honestly, I have tried to find a reason to fear him, and I have found nothing. I know we have not been here long, but my instincts are telling me he could not do it. 'Tis time I tried to trust those instincts, aye? I think those rumors are nothing more than random mutterings of the bored or feeble minded."

  "You should still be a bit wary. Many different personalities wander within the walls here. What are you to do about Andre then?"

  "I have lived in fear for so long, Tillie. Now, in order to be free from the threat of marriage I must plot to be sent home. I am tiring of it already. In weak moments, I feel sorry for myself and wish a normal life for me, and for you too, Tillie. Then I remember I am but half a woman, unable to do the only thing my body was designed to do — birth children. I am trying to remain strong but at times, I tire of fighting with my own feelings."

  "You have been doing well so far," Tillie said gently, putting a soft hand on Rayne's shoulder.

  "Aye, 'twould seem. I shake all day, and I feel deceitful but 'tis not how I wish to be. Yet I am stuck because my cousin, the king, uses me for whatever he wishes. He wishes an alliance? Why not send Rayne? He has hated me for as long as I can remember and I do not know why. I have dreams in the night which frighten me to my core, and when I awake, a different nightmare awaits."

  Tillie nodded.

  Rayne faced her, "I will be wary. However, I cannot give up. For once, I must take some control of my life. Otherwise, I may wither and die. Tillie, no matter how hard it is, I must fight for my own happiness, or whatever life I can get that may pass for happiness. And truly, I do not know Andre well, but I feel there is no reason to believe he threw Geva from the wall. It does not fit what I know of him thus far."

  "Then what, Milady?"

  "I keep trying. I truly hate deceiving him. It has been but a few days and already I realize had my situation been different, this would be an interesting match." Rayne grabbed Tillie's hand. "I am so glad you understand me, Tillie. I could not bear life without you."

  "And me too," Tillie said with a nod.

  "So," Rayne said and then paused. "I may have to spend more time with Andre, so I can learn what may distress him enough to send me away. Nothing seems to work. Being sent back in disgrace seems to be less appealing each minute, but I have no choice."

  ****

  As Rayne and Tillie sorted through the new clothing items, Andre was showing his guest to quarters a floor above her room. Odo had always tried his patience, but now he had to have the man in his home. If William Rufus was not grateful, he feared he would punch the king in the nose.

  Odo's men were already making space in the barracks, but Odo insisted on having his own quarters. Andre just hoped he would stay far from Rayne, as Odo was not known to be delicate with ladies. The bishop cared not if they were married, betrothed, or even promised to God. As soon as he could, Andre would have to warn her to keep her distance.

  "I hope this will meet your needs," Andre said as he opened the heavy door for Odo's inspection. The room had not been used in a long time and was one of the larger within the solar. The four-poster bed was done with fresh linens, and a fire was already burning. A stout table and chair were situated under the thin windows on the far wall, and a small writing desk sat in the far corner away from the door.

  Odo strode into the room with his hands on his hips. He rocked back on his heels and surveyed the room. "It shall do," he said tonelessly.

  Andre did all he could to hide his irritation. "'Tis all I have big enough. Other chambers located a floor below are smaller. I could move you if you wish."

  "Nay, man. This will be fine." Odo whipped around and offered a large, disturbing smile. He was an odd man, though not terribly unpleasant to the eyes. An ugly scar ran up his neck, but otherwise his appearance was neat and clean. He had mousy brown hair and pleasant eyes, the hairline receding a bit from his forehead. His beard was well groomed, as were his clothes.

  "Very well. Do you need anything else?"

  Odo stepped aside as his squire carried in his trunk and placed it near the foot of the bed. "I hear Rufus sent you a wife."

  Startled, Andre composed his thoughts before he spoke. "Aye, Lady Rayne is in attendance here. She and I are to be wed in three months. You must know her, she is cousin to William Rufus."

  The visitor shot him an odd look and then raised an eyebrow. "Aye, I do. We too are related, though distantly. Surely you see what he is doing? He is buying your loyalty with a wife. He's bought your fighting skills and knowledge of the local barons in exchange for a pretty face. She is quite fetching, but is she worth all that?"

  "I do not know much about her. She only arrived a few days ago. Lady Rayne is certainly an interesting woman. We have yet to h
ave much time to get acquainted with one another, though."

  "I can tell you her last husband was a troubled man. Claude was close to William Rufus, which may explain why the Conqueror gifted him with such a beauty for a wife. I never understood his marriage to Lady Rayne. It may have been his estate. 'Tis modest, but set upon some of the best hunting grounds in London. That one loved the drink and the status he gained at court. He was a fierce fighter, valuable to the king, but he grew lazy and fat after marriage. The lady sported her fair share of black eyes, but he always had an excuse. He would have you believe she is quite clumsy, not that he cared what anyone thought. I would not toss that one out of my bed though. She's a fine looking lady."

  Andre did not say anything. Odo liked to talk, so he let him.

  "Claude was useless in the end. Died suddenly. You must have known him. He served under William the First when you did."

  "I have no memory of a Claude," Andre said and then shrugged.

  "Truth be told, she makes a good wife one would think. She was always so timid and meek. You have to love that in a woman. Some get it in their heads they are equal to men and it can be quite the annoying trait. She was as humble as she should be. Will she be joining us to sup this eve?"

  Andre stared at the floor to hide his vexation, and responded as he left the room. "I supposed she will. Mayhap she will be happy to see a face she knows. Supper is at sundown."

  He took the steps two at a time and walked with purpose to Rayne's quarters. She may not be there, but he had to find her before Odo did. The man was not to be trusted. Andre strongly believed Odo was behind the plot to ouster William Rufus, but he could not tell Rayne anything specific. Instead, he had to be vague.

  His irritation with Odo rose with each step he took. Not only did he have to worry about saying the wrong thing in front of the man, he had to worry about what Rayne would do. Despite the warnings in his head, he was attracted to the woman and loved having a female in his home after all this time, a female who would give him sons. If he had his way, Odo would have come and departed before she arrived, but it did not happen that way. There was nothing he could do about it now.

  When he saw the door ajar and the women standing, speaking to each other, he walked in without giving warning. There before him stood Rayne in a kirtle of dark blue. He had seen the clothes before. He stopped short. It was one that had been made for Geva, but she had never worn it. Her wardrobe was completed around the same time she jumped from the wall and then the items were stored away.

  Rayne's head snapped up as she stepped away from a fretting Tillie. She was radiant in the dress, but he didn't want her to see his approval.

  "Milord?" she said, her voice quivering. "Is everything right?"

  "We have company," he began speaking with a shake of his head. "You know of him. Odo de Bayeux is my guest for the foreseeable future, though I doubt he will stay long. He enjoys his time of leisure with travel, though he is always about business, and has come to call."

  Rayne said nothing. He grimaced as she stared down at her hands after only meeting his gaze for a moment.

  "Do you remember him? He remembers you."

  Rayne nodded. "Of course I do. He often came to hunt with my husband when staying at court. We are related through William Rufus. He stayed for supper many times. That is all I know."

  "Be wise and be wary. Odo is not a man to bother. He calls himself bishop, but he is not always of good manners. You have let me know you do not desire to be here, but I shall not be undermined in my own home. Keep your distance, do your duties as future lady of this castle, but otherwise stay away from Odo."

  Rayne again remained mute but did offer a nod.

  "I mean it, Rayne. None of your nonsense this night or until he departs." Andre grew wary of this new feeling. He was worried she would fancy Odo! He cared not about her before this moment, but suddenly he cared about what Odo's presence could mean. "You are to be my wife, and it will do you good to remember that."

  Andre closed the distance between them before she could react and he pulled her into his arms. He was a bit rougher than he wanted to be, but he could not stop himself. She went limp, sagging against him before stiffening. His mouth muted her protests as he leaned in and his lips locked with hers. The kiss was fast, brusque, and hard, but offered much more than the simple warning he wanted to send. Goodness, she was something to behold.

  He stepped back and left the room as quickly as he had come, with his breathing ragged and his mind reeling.

  ****

  Rayne stood motionless for quite a few moments, her mouth agape, unable to understand what had just happened. Had he played the jealous lover warning her from other men? She did not know what to make of it. It must be male pride more than anything. Her lips were still warm, and she was still shaking. She shook not from fear, but from what had happened in the few seconds his lips had claimed hers. The absence of fear and loathing at a man's touch startled her more deeply than she cared to admit, even to herself.

  As she stood, a new thought came to her. She had just found a way to get him to send her to London. As much as Odo made her ill, he was the perfect way to get Andre to send her home. She could flirt with Odo and embarrass her husband-to-be. Embarrassment had won out when he had jumped into the moat with her, so perhaps seeing her flirt with this man would do the trick again. He had even warned her away. As a bonus, he would see her as willful and disobedient.

  Her mouth snapped shut as her thoughts raced. Odo had always been polite, but the rumors she had heard did not paint him in a favorable light, at least when it came to women. He was a godly man, but that had never stopped him from doing whatever he wished. In fact, she had thought he fancied her until he realized she was Claude's wife and he never came close again.

  Now, however, Claude was dead and they were far from London. She would do her best to flirt but remain proper. So long as she avoided being totally alone with him, her plan should work. Flirting with a man was a subject she knew little about, but how hard could it be?

  She took another look at the clothing items on her bed. Tillie had put some away but the remainder was better than those she had worn throughout her life. She should choose something that showed off her curves. The ill-fitting blue one she had just tried on should do, with a few tugs and tucks in the right places. Alternations would come later, but it would do for now.

  Chapter Seven

  When Rayne arrived for supper, a hush fell over the great hall. Andre and Odo both rose as she neared the table. Her betrothed did a double take, and Odo's eyes widened as he stepped to greet her. The reaction was better than she had hoped.

  "Lady Rayne," he said and bent to kiss the back of her hand, "I never thought it possible, but you are lovelier than ever."

  Rayne blushed and tried not to show her repulsion as his lips brushed her skin. She pulled her hand back and smiled at him while ignoring Andre. "'Tis good to see you, Odo. It has been some time since I saw you in London."

  "Aye, well, I have been busy. I am terribly sorry to hear of your husband's death, milady."

  Andre cleared his throat, and she realized everyone was staring at them, waiting for them to be seated so the meal could be served. She scurried to her seat and sat as the two men across from her did the same. Food came almost instantly, and the hall settled as the priest said grace.

  "Tell me, Rayne, what have you been doing?" Odo settled his eyes on her, and she reddened again as he boldly took in all he could see. Her kirtle was cut a bit low and tight in the chest, and she felt wildly uncomfortable in it. However, she could tell she had made an excellent choice. Odo was practically drooling. One glance at Andre told her he was not amused.

  "I see you have decided to dress for company. 'Tis much better than what you wore for your first meal here," he quipped. He lifted his drink to his mouth and glared at her over the rim. Rayne quickly cast her eyes down. He was already so angry and she had just greeted Odo. She had to be careful not to set him off too mu
ch. The idea he may have had a hand in his wife's death seemed preposterous, but it nagged at the corner of her mind.

  "I am glad you are pleased, milord," she said. She too lifted her wine and took a big drink. Her throat was incredibly dry, and she was nervous.

  Odo chuckled and then took a large bite of bread. He gawked at Rayne so openly she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and looked everywhere but right at him. She was beginning to regret her wardrobe choice. "I would like to take you for a stroll, milady, if your betrothed does not object," he said as he finished chewing. "We have much to discuss. 'Tis rare I find time to spend time with a lady as lovely as you."

  "I, um, I—" Rayne stuttered as she glanced at Andre, "I mean, of course, Odo, it would be most pleasurable. Mayhap you can show me around, something Andre did but only briefly. He spoke so quickly I could not hope to remember it all."

  "I have responsibilities," Andre said dryly, sounding tired. "Things will not run around here if I spend all day strolling in the gardens with my wife-to-be." An angry edge punctuated the last words of his sentence. "Besides, I am sure you are quite capable of showing yourself around."

  Odo let out a laugh and winked at Rayne. "I have only been here a few times, but I will be glad to take you to see the orchard and the gardens. God's blessings are abundant. They are a short walk out by the outer curtain wall. 'Tis a lovely space, most assuredly designed by a woman. I fear 'tis too early in the year for blooms, but 'tis lovely none-the-less."

  "You are too kind," Rayne said and then took a bite of her food. Odo was falling for her plan easily, but she was unsure of her next move. Playing the flirt was not something she had ever done. Her stomach rolled as uncertainty set in. Seeing Odo reminded her of her old life. It was as if Claude were still alive. Her throat constricted.

  They ate in silence for a while, though she picked at her food. Odo then started telling Andre some mundane details about what was going on in William's court. They talked of boring subjects of which Rayne had little interest. She cared for the future of her country, but could not care less about the rumors as to why the king was not married and probably never would be. Most of the names of which he spoke were names she did not know. She kept her ears open but only vaguely listened.