First Down

by Paula Mabbel

  Maggie nodded her head excitedly, totally failing at hiding her enthusiasm, even though she really wanted to.

  “First, no more fooling around until I’ve broken things off with Kelby. It’s not fair, and regardless of where we are in our relationship right now, she deserves better than that. Okay?”

  “Yeah, of course,” Maggie whispered. She understood, but was visibly disappointed. Last night had been amazing, and she wanted a repeat performance as soon as possible. Yet, she wasn’t going to push anything and drive Clover away. “What’s the second condition?”

  Clover took a deep breath.

  “Second, and I know this will be hard, but I’ve been out since I was fourteen. If we’re going to do this, I can’t do it in secret. I need you to be honest about you are, so I can be honest about who we are. I can’t get involved with a baby gay who is afraid to be herself.”

  Maggie felt her head spin a little bit. Her feelings for Clover had been her own, and she’d never really considered what it would mean to actually be with Clover. But she knew that Clover was right, and that being together meant admitting to everyone who she was, even if it was uncomfortable.

  “Of course. Of course I will. My parents will be fine with it, I think. I know, actually. You’re worth it, Clover.”

  Clover pulled Maggie into a hug, almost spilling her cereal in to her lap. They both laughed as Maggie slapped Clover away.

  “Hey! My fruity loops!”

  “Oh, shut up and kiss me, you loon.”

  * * *

  It was Friday night, and Clover and Maggie decided to go out to get some dinner rather than stay in with their usual Chinese delivery. In a rare moment of PDA, Clover reached down and took Maggie’s hand in her own, giving it a small squeeze. Maggie leaned in to Clover, resting her head on Clover’s shoulder with a smile. They turned on to the corner where the Thai restaurant was located, and ran directly into Kelby, who was walking up the street with a suitcase in her hand. Maggie and Clover looked terrified; Kelby looked furious.

  “What the hell is going on, Clover?” Kelby screamed, her eyes blazing.

  Maggie hid behind Clover, petrified as she stood in Kelby’s glare, who cast an even more intimidating shadow in person.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were coming back early?” Clover shouted back.

  “So this is my fault? You’re the one cheating on me, Clover!”

  “I wanted to tell you in person, to talk to you about what was going on, but you never answer my calls. You never text. You never frigging e-mail! What did you expect me to do, Kelby? Break up with your voicemail?”

  A small crowd was gathering on the street, watching everything that was happening. Maggie buried her face in the back of Clover’s coat, hoping that no one from school was watching this scene go down.

  “So you couldn’t wait until I got back to move on? After a year?” Kelby moved toward Clover like a viper about to strike. But Clover stood tall, not giving an inch.

  “You’ve barely been here for a year, Kelby! I wanted to tell you, but you and I have been disconnected for a long time. I’m sorry it happened like this, but it had to happen.”

  Kelby took one more step forward, then spun around and stalked off in the other direction. The crowd dispersed when they realized there wasn’t going to be a knock-down drag-out fight between two women in the middle of the street, and Clover let her shoulders drop as a mountain of stress and fear crumbled off of her shoulders.

  Maggie inched around in front of Clover and looked at her with eyes full of love.

  “I’m sorry I got you in trouble with… Jesus, she was tall. Way taller than I anticipated. Holy shit.”

  Clover doubled over laughing. “Let’s skip Thai food and just go back and order Chinese. I’m glad we came out, but now I kind of just want to go back to the room.”

  Maggie’s eyes grew wide with excitement.

  “Do you mean ‘back to the room,’ or… back to the room?”

  Clover fell over laughing again. “Both. Either. Whatever. Let’s just go home.”

  * * *

  Clover and Maggie wrapped their arms and legs around each other, naked skin touching naked skin. Each kiss was filled with the love and desire they’d been feeling for one another for so long, now set free by their ability to be together, and lost in only each other. Clover ran her fingers through Maggie’s long hair as she bathed her forehead in soft kisses, her body alight with the feeling of Maggie’s breasts brushing against her own.

  Even with all of the hard work ahead of them in school, all of the complications they might face in the future, neither woman had ever been happier. And they knew that whatever challenges they faced, they could face them together, in one another’s arms.

  *****

  The End

  First Time’s A Charm

  “I’m sorry,” Bill said. Standing, he ran a hand over his balding head before walking to the liquor cabinet across the room.

  “Sorry? That doesn’t help me, now does it?” I knew that it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Unfortunately, that didn’t change the anger that boiled inside me. “How can he do this?”

  Sitting back down at the desk, Bill began to try and explain the situation I was in and how it had come to be. Having been a family friend for many years, he didn’t use his newly acquired position as my attorney to speak to me as though I were dumb. In fact, he was very clear and precise about just what was going on now and what I could expect to happen.

  Even as he spoke, I found my mind drifting. Regardless of how well Bill explained the circumstances to me, I would never be able to wrap my mind around them. Everything had happened so quickly that my brain was still in shock.

  It had only been two weeks. Fourteen days. Yet my life had turned completely upside down. Nothing made sense to me any longer, and I was only now reaching the point of even trying to fight back. Until that morning I’d spent most of my time thinking it was just a phase and everything would go back to normal at any time.

  I was wrong.

  My husband of four years had left me and he had no intention of coming back. It’d been a blow to more than my ego, which had believed that our relationship was perfect and would last forever. It’d been like a wrecking ball to my entire life.

  When Bryant and I had met in college, I was halfway through my pre-law degree. Becoming a lawyer had been my goal since sixth grade, and I was closer than I’d ever been, with a 4.0 GPA and what seemed a permanent spot on the dean’s list. There was no time to be sidetracked by love and romance.

  He was persistent, however, and I’d fallen hard within only a couple of months. Bryant was every girl’s dream catch. Wealthy, attractive and powerful with a life already set in stone and waiting on him to catch up. He would finish his degree and take his rightful place at the side of his father in their international company. Bryant Welch would be a billionaire before I finished law school.

  Needless to say, my dumbass self had married him just after graduation and postponed my enrollment in law school. Instead I’d become a loving and devoted wife, attending parties, chairing events and helping local charities while he built his fortune and reputation in the most elite circles of Atlanta.

  I lived the perfect life, or so I thought, until two weeks before when I’d received the phone call that every wife dreads. My husband had left me and was filing for divorce.

  I’d never worked. I’d never finished school. I had no real experience in the world. I’d spent years of my adulthood relying on Bryant and what he had, only to discover that he no longer wanted to share that life with me.

  In the beginning I’d tried to believe that he would change his mind and come home. Our kind of love was rare. You couldn’t just walk away from it.

  After a few days I was starting to accept that maybe he could. It would be okay, though. I still had the house, and certainly he would have to give me alimony. I’d be able to finish my degree and go back to the life I’d o
riginally planned. It hurt that he didn’t love me and that I was getting divorced, but with no children to think about the process should be simple.

  It wasn’t until close to two weeks into it that I’d received word that he was fighting everything. Nothing about this divorce case was going to be simple. He was fighting alimony, he was fighting giving me any of our personal property and now he was fighting my right to live in our home. The only home I’d had since leaving college. He was actually trying to take it away from me.

  That was what it’d taken for me to call Bill. He’d been friends with my parents for years and from what I’d heard he was a hell of a divorce attorney. He’d taken my case gladly, and that’s what led me to his office on what should have been an ordinary Tuesday afternoon.

  “He wanted me to skip law school,” I interrupted when he told me of Bryant’s claim that I hadn’t helped to earn anything and therefore didn’t deserve it. “He wanted me to be home to help him build his reputation.”

  “I know.” Bill looked at me with compassion. “I’m willing to fight this if you want, Aubrey,” he continued. “I will do whatever I can to help you gain something until you get on your feet. I’m just not sure that we will win all that you are asking.”

  “Why? I’m his wife. I didn’t wake up one Wednesday and decide I didn’t want to be that anymore. Why do I not get a say in this?”

  “The charge from—”

  “That has nothing to do with now!” I interrupted him. “All college kids do stupid things. I’ve lived an exemplary life since then. That can’t be held against me.”

  “It can,” Bill corrected. “If he can show that it has any correlation to the events afterwards — for example you not finishing school or obtaining a job — he could win.”

  “It’d be a lie,” I yelled. “A bald-faced lie!”

  “Maybe,” Bill nodded, “but how many people do you know who would dare to accuse a Welch of lying? Out of those who would, how many do you think would win that argument?”

  His words made sense, even as I didn’t want to listen.

  “So what do I do?”

  “You are going to have to leave the house until the hearing,” he shrugged. “The judge will decide from there.”

  “It’s my home,” I whined, my voice showing the fear I felt inside. “Where am I supposed to go?”

  “I don’t know, Aubrey,” he said. “Do you have a friend you can call?”

  “I don’t really have any of my own friends anymore.” My head hung towards the floor. They are all his friends. They’d never help me.”

  “How about someone before you met him?”

  “Well, there was my college roommate,” I remembered. “Emily.”

  “That’s a start,” he encouraged.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “We haven’t spoken since college. Since I met…since I moved out of our room and into an apartment with him during senior year. I haven’t talked to her since.”

  “Now sounds like a good time to reconnect.”

  “I guess.” At least it was something, even if it didn’t pan out. “You’re right. I guess I’ll call Emily.”

  *****

  “Thank you so much, Emily,” I said for the fourth time as I carried what little I was allowed to take into her spare bedroom. “I don’t know what I would have done if—”

  “That’s what friends are for,” she smiled, which only made me feel more guilty for abandoning her years before. I had a knack for that. Turning my back and regretting it later. “Aubrey, I am glad to help.”

  She had a small extra room that she had told me was only used for occasional company. I still felt as though I were intruding. The phone call had been one of the most difficult that I’d ever made, but she appeared to understand. I wasn’t sure how. Hell, she’d never been married, let alone divorced.

  She wasn’t into men. Maybe that was why she’d never had to face what I was facing now. It was almost enough to make me wish I were a lesbian.

  “I just feel so bad,” I said. I couldn’t shake the guilt that I felt over calling her out of the blue. “I’m invading your home and your life.”

  “It’s no trouble. Trust me. Might be nice to have someone to talk to besides Princess.” She picked up the white fluffy cat and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Princess? I always thought you were more original than that, Em.” I reached to pet her and she hissed.

  “See? She thinks she runs the castle.” Setting Princess down, Emily laughed again and offered me a cup of coffee. “So, what happened, anyway? I thought you and Bry were the picture perfect couple.”

  “So did I,” I mumbled, hoping she didn’t hear the disappointment in my voice. “He called from work one day and told me that it was over and he was filing for divorce.”

  “Damn.” She came back carrying two huge mugs. “No clue what spawned it?”

  “No,” I admitted. “I kept thinking he’d change his mind. We had no real problems. No arguments. Nothing. I thought maybe he was feeling too pressured in life and once he relaxed he’d be back to normal.”

  “Girl, that just doesn’t happen,” she laughed. “Straight women are so crazy. Always hoping things will be better. Why spend your life in hope? Jump ship and be happy.”

  “We were married, Em,” I reminded her. “That’s not a commitment I take lightly.”

  “Apparently he did,” she pointed out, making me cringe a little. “Probably bangin’ some chick on the side.”

  “I doubt it.” That was the one thing I had felt confident about. “He was never really one to notice women.”

  “Okay,” she agreed halfheartedly. “Probably bangin’ some dude on the side.”

  “Emily!” I laughed at her comment, but didn’t especially appreciate it. “It’s not someone else. I just don’t know what it is.”

  “Do you care? He kicked you out of your home! He’s using something minor to force his way into what he wants. Does it matter anymore why he’s doing it? Would you really take him back?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, honestly. That was always the way I spoke, and this was no different.

  Truth be known, I probably would. Not because I believed I deserved what he had done, but because I took marriage very seriously. I believed in forgiveness and second chances.

  “Lord help you.” She shook her head as she watched me sip the coffee. “I’m assuming you never finished school?”

  “No,” I admitted reluctantly. “He wanted me to be home and support him.”

  “Right.” An eye roll told me how she felt about that. “Were you guys happy?”

  “Yes,” I nodded. “No real fights. Busy, but happy. We didn’t see each other nearly as much as I’d have liked.”

  “Why not?”

  “He was always busy with work. Even the events we attended often separated us. I was busy working the crowd with charm, he was busy working them with business. We didn’t have many chances to connect. Know what I mean?”

  “And sex?”

  “Ha!” I feigned a laugh. “When we had it, it was good.”

  “But you never had it? You guys aren’t even thirty yet!” Emily seemed amazed at the idea that I would be sexless in my marriage.

  “We had it,” I argued. “Just not often. Like I said, life was busy.”

  “It’s never too busy for orgasms, babe.” Throwing her head back, she laughed again, and I felt an ache inside. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d even really been touched. “Well at least now you are single and able to satisfy that need again.”

  “I would never.” I couldn’t imagine another man touching me. “I’m married.”

  “To a man who left you, kicked you out of your house and is fighting you for everything you own,” she reminded me. “I’d say you deserve to get off with some hot and wild sex in the midst of this, wouldn’t you?”

  “I guess so.” Shrugging, I thought about what she was saying. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”


  “Looking like you do, anywhere is a good place.” Her laughter made me feel welcome and happy. “If you ever decide to flip sides, let me know. I’d do you in a fucking heartbeat.”

  My face flushed as she spoke the words. I knew she was a lesbian back in college, but that was the first time she’d ever even joked about attraction to me. I wasn’t sure if it made me uncomfortable because I didn’t like it, or because I did.

  *****

  “Motherfucker!” I screamed as I slammed my phone onto the side table.

  “Bry?” Emily’s head popped out of the kitchen for a moment to check on me.

  “Do I know any other motherfuckers?” I laughed. “What are you doing, anyway?”

  “Making dinner,” she answered with a shrug as if it were a normal event. I knew better. Normal was take-out around her place. “Don’t look at me like that. I do know how to cook.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it,” I countered.

  “So, what’s the loser doing now?” she asked, always willing to let me vent to her about my problems. “Or do I really want to know?”

  “What isn’t he doing would be the better question,” I mumbled. “He is fighting everything. Every fucking thing down to the art I collected. He says it was his money and he was the one who asked me to buy it. He’s lying. He hated when I bought art.”

  “Of course he’s lying, Aub.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s what he does. He lies. Always has.”