Because of You

by E. L. Todd

  Nope, that ass is all mine.

  I reached him and grabbed his arm. “Hello, stud.”

  He put his phone away and smiled at me. “Stud?”

  “Yeah. You look really hot today.”

  His cheeks blushed slightly. “Well, thank you.”

  I gave him a smug look. “Looks like I’m not the only one who struggles with accepting compliments.”

  “Well, I’ve never said you were hot, so it’s a little different.”

  “Well, you are.” I moved into his chest and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.

  His hands moved around my waist and he returned the embrace. The tension from our last meeting seemed to have evaporated. Space was all he needed to let it go.

  When he pulled away, his hand rested on my neck and he looked into my face. “Such a beautiful girl. Sometimes I can’t believe it.”

  Now it was my turn to blush. “I’m ordinary. I have brown hair and brown eyes, and I have dark skin.”

  “Ordinary?” He laughed lightly. “You’re one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen. You’re exotic and special. Your eyes may be dark but they sparkle by their own light. Your hair may be brown, but it’s silky and so much fun to touch. Why do you think I always grab your hair when we’re together.” Then he leaned in and kissed my neck. “And I love your skin.”

  When his lips pressed against my throat, a quiet moan escaped my lips.

  “You couldn’t be more perfect. As ashamed as I am to admit it, when I saw you in that strip club, I was a bit obsessed.”

  “It didn’t seem like it.”

  “Why do you think I resorted to blackmailing for a date? You know me pretty well now. That’s not something I would normally do.”

  “I guess not.”

  He kissed me again before he pulled away. “We should go inside otherwise I might just kiss you for my entire lunch break.”

  “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “It doesn’t,” he said. “But my stomach wouldn’t agree.”

  We walked inside and ordered our food before we sat down.

  He ate with perfect manners like usual. “What ethnicity are you?”

  “I’m half Brazilian, half Caucasian.”

  “Deadly mix.”

  “What about you?”

  “English and Scottish,” he answered.

  “I need to date British men more often. They’re gorgeous.”

  He chuckled. “Our women are beautiful as well.”

  I ate my sandwich then picked at my chips.

  “Have you ever considered modeling?”

  “I don’t want to do that,” I blurted.

  “May I ask why?”

  I shrugged. “It doesn’t interest me. It’s such a superficial business. When my mom was a model, she said it ruined her life.”

  “I see…”

  I stared at him, waiting to see if he would take the conversation to the tabooed topic.

  He didn’t. “I always told my sister she could be a model but she never pursued it.”

  “What does she do now?”

  “Stay at home mom.”

  “What does her husband do?” I asked.

  “He’s an accountant for a law firm.”

  “That’s cool,” I said. “You haven’t showed me pictures of your niece and nephew.”

  He chuckled. “It’ll have to wait until another time. I have at least two hundred pictures on my phone.”

  I thought it was sweet that he loved his niece and nephew so much. It was like having a third parent. “Are you close with your sister?”

  “I would say so. When we were younger, we didn’t get along very well. But when we became adults, we both matured and things changed. Her husband is actually a friend of mine. That’s how they met.”

  “That’s cool,” I said. “At least you knew he was good enough for her from the beginning.”

  “Yeah, he was into her for a long time, like obsessed. Finally, she agreed to go out with him. And the rest is history.”

  “Your parents must be proud of both of you.”

  “They are just happy to have grandchildren,” he said with a laugh. “Now they’re hounding me about it because I’m getting old.”

  “How old are you?” I asked.

  “Twenty-six.”

  “That’s not old,” I argued.

  He laughed. “Well, they’ve been pestering me for grandchildren since I was twenty-one, so in their eyes, I’m taking forever. I’m thinking about adopting a kid just so they’ll leave me alone.”

  I laughed. “Or maybe a dog.”

  “I’d love a dog,” he said. “But since I travel so much, it’s just not feasible.”

  “Yeah…they require a lot of responsibility.”

  He shifted his leg and pressed his foot against mine, touching me while he ate.

  I felt like the luckiest girl in the room sitting across from him. He was so handsome it was unreal, and he was such a sweet guy that sometimes I thought I was hallucinating everything. “I like your facial hair.”

  “This?” He rubbed his chin. “It’s actually the product of laziness.”

  “I like it when you forget to shave for a few days.”

  “That feeling isn’t mutual,” he said with a laugh.

  I laughed. “I wax, so we’re good.”

  “If I didn’t have to shave, I’d have a full-grown beard.”

  “Well, don’t let it get to that point,” I said with a laugh. “A little hair is sexy, not too much.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” He stared at me with his bright eyes, taking me in.

  A blonde woman approached our table. She slipped him a napkin. “I’m sorry to be rude, but if you ever want a good time, call me.” She flashed him a smile then walked away. She wore a tight black dress with heels, and her tits looked too big to be real.

  Ward didn’t say anything and just let her pass. Then he folded the napkin and tossed it on the tray with the rest of the trash. He kept eating like nothing happened.

  It occurred to me that Ward was single and could do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to hook up with her, he could. I was just something casual. It hurt, but I had to remind myself that’s what we agreed on. I couldn’t get jealous. “Not interested?” I asked incredulously. “She was pretty.”

  He ate his chips with the same calmness. “I don’t like women who are that forward. It’s a turn-off for me.”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Every one of my guy friends would never say that.”

  “Well, if she struck up a conversation with me and then asked me out, that would be different. But she just gave me her number so we could meet up and fuck. And the fact she approached me when I’m with you is extremely disrespectful and offensive.”

  “She couldn’t know if we’re together or not.”

  “You’re a gorgeous woman and I’m sitting across from you. And we definitely don’t look related. It’s implied.” He kept eating. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore.”

  “Okay,” I said. He seemed uncomfortable just mentioning other women. I looked out the window and watched the people pass by. When I saw two people I’ve known my whole life, I freaked out. “Shit, Cayson and Skye are coming in here.”

  Ward didn’t look concerned. “So?”

  “They’ll see us together.”

  He wasn’t following. “So…?”

  “They aren’t supposed to know we’re dating.”

  He sighed. “Clementine, you’re a grown woman. Who you spend time with is none of their business anyway.”

  “Cayson is my brother,” I snapped. “He’s always been protective of me.”

  “I never got the impression you were close.”

  “We aren’t, but he’s still weird about me dating men.”

  “Well, I’m a pretty good guy so I think he won’t be so worried. Skye can vouch for me.”

  I glared at him. “I don’t want them to know we’re together at all. This isn’t going anywhe
re so what’s the point in them knowing?”

  His eyes dropped with sadness. “We’re stuck in here, Clementine. There’s nowhere for you to hide.”

  I eyed the bathroom.

  “No.” He read my mind.

  “Fine,” I said. “This is the story.”

  He gave me an annoyed look.

  “We ran into each other here and just decided to sit together.”

  Ward’s eyes were dark and his jaw was tense. “Whatever you want.” It was clear he was irritated.

  “What else am I supposed to do?” I asked incredulously.

  “Just be honest,” he said. “Tell them we’re dating. We don’t have to tell them it’s casual and we’re only going to be together for a short period of time. When that day comes, we’ll just say it didn’t work out. Why lie?”

  “You don’t know my family.”

  “Actually, I do.”

  “Cayson will tell my dad. And he’ll want a word with you. So will Sean.”

  “I have nothing to hide,” he said simply. “And neither do you. I don’t understand why you stand up for your profession and don’t care what I think, but when it comes to your personal life you care about what your family thinks.”

  I looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

  “So, you still want to lie?” he asked quietly.

  Cayson and Skye just walked inside and reached the register.

  I didn’t know what to do. I knew Ward would be offended if I wanted to pretend nothing was going on between us, but I didn’t want to deal with my family butting into my life. Since Ward was a man, it was different. His family never pestered him about who he was dating. With him, they would bother me until the end of time, especially since I’d never brought a man around before. “Ward, please just go along with it.”

  He flashed me a look of disappointment. “If that’s what you want.”

  “Thank you…”

  He ate his chips again, not looking at me.

  Skye and Cayson got their food and looked for a table.

  “Isn’t that your sister?” Skye said.

  I made eye contact with them so I waved.

  Cayson eyed Ward then me, his mind starting to analyze the situation.

  Skye reached our table. “Hey…what are you guys doing here?” She clearly wondered why we were together.

  Ward said nothing, leaving me to lie for both of us.

  “We ran into each other here and decided to sit together.” I felt sick because Ward was so disappointed in me.

  Cayson relaxed. “Oh okay.”

  “Can we join you?” Skye asked.

  I just wanted to be with Ward but I couldn’t say that. “Sure.”

  Cayson pulled a table closer to us then sat across from Skye.

  “What are you doing here?” Skye asked me.

  “I just wanted to get lunch and Ward spotted me,” I said. “We just started talking.”

  “Ward is good company,” Skye said. “He’s funny and easy to talk to.”

  “He is,” I agreed.

  Ward didn’t look happy.

  “Everything okay?” Skye asked him.

  “Yeah, just tired,” he said vaguely.

  Cayson watched him for a moment before he returned his attention to Skye.

  “I’m glad you guys are back together,” I said. “The world feels right again.”

  “It does,” Cayson agreed. He gave Skye an affectionate look then dropped his gaze.

  “But we haven’t really gone out and done much,” Skye said. “We’ve been pretty occupied…”

  “TMI, girl,” I said.

  Skye laughed. “Well, I think it’s implied.”

  Cayson turned to me. “How’s the symphony going?”

  “Good. We have a show next weekend. I’m excited,” I said.

  “Mom and Dad will probably want to go,” he said.

  “Probably.” My parents went to most of my shows. I knew it must be boring to watch a symphony over and over again, but they usually came anyway. My dad was proud that I was a musician, and my mom would be proud no matter what I did. She was the only person I considered telling my secret to. I knew she would be understanding and wouldn’t judge me. But I couldn’t trust her not to tell my father. If he knew…it would be bad. If Cayson knew, it would be worse.

  Skye turned to me. “Did you know Ward is from England?”

  “He mentioned it,” I said.

  Ward looked out the window and didn’t seem interested in participating in the conversation.

  “And he’s a really hard worker,” Skye said.

  Cayson gave her an annoyed look but didn’t say anything.

  “He strikes me as someone who’s passionate about what he does.” It was hard to pretend like I didn’t know Ward really well. I probably knew him better than Skye did, and in ways she would never suspect.

  Ward finished his chips and left his trash on the tray. “I should get back to work.” He stood up and adjusted his jacket. “It was nice running into you, Clementine. Take care.” His voice was hollow like he despised me and everyone else in the deli.

  “You too,” I said sadly.

  He walked out and headed up the street.

  Skye turned back to me. “Did something happen between you two?”

  “What?” I said defensively. “No. We just ran into each other.”

  “No, I mean did you say something to offend him? Earlier today he was in a good mood, and now he seems…pissed off.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe he’s just tired, like he said.”

  Cayson eyed me for a moment before he looked away. “He wasn’t bothering you, right?”

  “Of course not,” I said. “He’s a really nice guy.”

  Cayson ate his sandwich and looked out the window.

  I got the impression Cayson wasn’t Ward’s biggest fan. I had no idea why. How could anyone dislike Ward? He was the sweetest, most handsome man I’d ever seen. “You have a problem with him?”

  “No.” Skye gave Cayson a meaningful look. “No, he doesn’t.”

  I didn’t believe that but I didn’t press the topic.

  ***

  I called Ward later that night.

  He answered it after several rings. “Hello?”

  “Hey.” It was nice hearing his voice even if he didn’t sound happy. He normally greeted me by calling me darling. But now he spoke to me like I was just anyone. “How was your day?”

  “Fine.” He didn’t say anything else.

  Yep, he was still mad at me. “Ward, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Forget about it,” he said. “What’s done is done.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have called him and gave him more time to get over the episode at lunch. But I missed him and wanted to make it right. “Can I see you?”

  “I’m pretty tired…”

  “I’ll come to your place…and I’ll bring food.”

  “No, it’s okay,” he said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  I was growing desperate. “Ward, please.”

  He was silent for a full minute. Then he spoke again. “Okay. But you don’t need to bring food.”

  I knew I could soften him up with my pleas. “Okay.”

  He hung up without saying goodbye.

  ***

  He answered the door with a stoic expression. Then he stepped aside and let me enter without saying a word.

  I stepped inside then held out a flower. “It’s a sweetbay magnolia. They only grow in New York and Pennsylvania.”

  He stared at the flower in my hand for a long time before he took it. He examined the petals, and against his will, a light smile lifted his lips.

  My heart fluttered at the sight. He was too handsome to handle.

  “Thank you,” he whispered. “It’s lovely.” He turned his gaze on me before he walked away and put the flower in a glass of water.

  I came behind him then wrapped my arms around his waist. Then I rested my face against his back. I o
nly reached the area between his shoulder blades because he was so much taller than me. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me…”

  He took a deep breath then turned around. He wore a white t-shirt and jeans. The feel of the soft cotton felt good against my cheek. His hands moved around my waist and he pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m not.”

  “I understand why you’re upset. But keep in mind that relationships are different for men and women. If my family knew I was dating you, they wouldn’t respect my privacy and stay out of my business. They would get involved and rip it apart. I only want to go through that when…I’m with the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve never introduced a man to them, and if I did, they would assume it’s really serious.”

  He took a deep breath then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I understand, Clementine. I was being immature about it.”

  “Why does it bother you so much?”

  “You’re pretending to be something you aren’t,” he said simply. “You’re a stripper but no one knows. You’re dating me and no one knows.”

  “But we’re casual. If it was something that might be serious one day, it would be different.”

  “I know,” he whispered.

  “My family loves you, and they would be so disappointed to see us together and then see us apart. It’s just easier for everyone, including myself. And they don’t need to know every detail of my life. The fact I strip is none of their business. It’s no one’s business.”

  He nodded. “I guess I’m such an honest person, and it’s odd to see someone live their life in a different way.”

  “The lifestyle of a man is totally different than a woman’s. If anyone knew you were in a strip club, they wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t be persecuted, and your image wouldn’t change. But the fact I’m the one on the stage makes me worse. If you ask me, the audience who pays to be there is worse. It’s totally sexist and hypocritical. I don’t agree with it but I understand it.”

  “I understand, Clementine. I’m sorry I’ve been…complicated.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I just really enjoy your company…and care about you.”

  “I know…I feel the same way.”

  He kissed my forehead, and my skin burned. “Want to spend the night?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered.

  “Let’s go to bed.”