by Lauren Wood
“I don’t know what to say. I was in my office and time just got away from me.”
Rosco wanted to know more and after a moment he asked who the broad was.
“What makes you think it’s about a woman?”
“Men like us don’t lose time, so I know that if you are looking like that and missing appointments, it can only mean one thing.”
He was right and I hated that I was so transparent. I knew what all of this was about and since I’d been trying to get ahead of it for a couple of months now, I knew that if I didn’t get to Molly soon, I was going to be worthless in all other facets of my life. I didn’t want to sleep, eat or fuck anyone else. I wanted Molly and it was like the world wasn’t as colorful without her and I wanted it all back.
“It’s an old flame.”
“From Alaska?”
I forgot that me and Rosco had talked about Molly before when we were talking about the one that got away. She would always be that for me and now it was evermore on my mind.
“Yeah the chick from Alaska.”
“Is she in town?”
“No, I went up to Nome a couple of months ago.”
“A couple of months ago and you are still stressing over it?”
He had a point and I should have seen that. Why was I still letting Molly affect me all these months later? It had been the same before; years hadn’t been enough time to get her off of my mind.
“Yeah, I always will.”
Rosco just shook his head and told me that I was an idiot.
“Come again?”
“You’re in love with this woman and instead of being with her; you are here, with me, late as all get out.”
He didn’t get it. We’d talked about her a little bit, but he didn’t understand that it was hopeless. I wanted it to be that simple, but I knew that it wasn’t that simple at all.
“She’s there and I am here.”
“Exactly, fix that and you will fix this.”
He made a gesture towards me like I was an exhibit and I wondered if I looked as bad as he made it out to be. Was it really that simple?
“She won’t come to the city. I have asked her several times to come.”
“Then go to her.”
“I can’t. My life is here.”
“So? So is mine and if I had another chance at love, I wouldn’t be wasting my time with a guy like me. I would jump on that chance. Life is short and work is work. It’s the rest of it all that makes it worth living.”
Rosco wasn’t usually so philosophical and I could tell that he meant it. What made him say such things? It was the first time that I realized I wasn’t the only one. I wasn’t the only haunted man at the table and for a moment his eyes revealed a feeling that I never wanted to feel.
“So where did you go wrong?”
“I didn’t go back for mine. She was in Italy and I met her when I was doing business out there. I should have stayed, but I had work.” He looked to the side and far away like he was seeing it all play out in his head. “I always had to work. I remember her crying and telling me that we would never see each other again. I told her we would, but then I got busy.”’
He had a look on his face that I knew well. It was full of regret. I knew well how many things had been put aside because I had to work. Like Rosco said, there was always work to do and it could be consuming.
“So what happened?” I wanted an ending to a story that was like mine, so that maybe I could have the same.
“She got in a car wreck about a month after I left. I never saw her again.”
It was the ending that I was hoping for and certainly not the one that I was expecting, but it had its desired effect on me. Rosco was right. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and change it. If something happened to her, I don’t know what I would do and I didn’t want to find out.
Chapter 26
Molly
The sky was set to be beautiful and I could see the first wisps of pink coming up on the horizon. My coffee was in hand and I was going to be positive about the day ahead of me. Nothing was going to come at me that I wasn’t prepared for. No memories of the past was going to ruin my day. It was mine and mine alone.
I told myself this every day and for once I wanted to believe it was possible. I wanted my life back and I wanted to stop thinking about Chris because he was doing nothing good for me, but making it hard to think straight and get on with daily life.
Taking a sip, I pushed all of the negative thoughts away and tried to focus on the beauty in front of me. The mountains were rimmed with snow and I could just see the town underneath me if I looked towards the east. This was a sight that I could see nowhere else and I’d paid dearly for it. With all of the money in the world coming that I didn’t need, I knew that this part of my life wasn’t going to change. I never could imagine living anywhere else. It was hard to explain, but I was connected with the land.
The phone rang and I looked at the watch on my wrist to see what time it was. It was way too early for calls from anyone and the call put a damper on my morning routine. The restaurant wasn’t even open yet, so I was rather surprised when I heard Denise’s voice on the other end.
“Hey Denise, What’s up?”
“I got a customer down here that wants to see you Molly. He says that it is urgent.”
“It’s too early for customers.”
“That’s what I said, but he was very insistent that he sees you right away or he will come to you. I think he means it Molly and I don’t know what you want me to do.”
That had me thrown off for a moment because of how it was said and I couldn’t think of what she was talking about or who would say such a thing. It didn’t feel like a threat, but I didn’t doubt that whoever it was would show up at my house.
“He will come to me?”
Denise was holding something back and I wasn’t sure what it was. She had a sound to her voice and a way that she was so slowly answering questions that made me believe that there was more going on than what she was hinting at.
“Who is it, Denise? Do you know him?”
“It’s Chris.”
The one word that I didn’t want to hear. What was Chris doing here? I would have thought that I wouldn’t see him again. The deal was going through and he was getting his way. What was he doing here now, back in a place that he claimed to hate so much?
“It’s too early for me to come in. Tell him to come to me if he really wants to see me. I’m not ready to leave the house. The sun is just now coming up and I haven’t finished my first cup.”
Denise agreed and I heard her cover the phone so that I couldn’t hear what she was saying. When she got back on, she had a smile in her tone and I could see it in my mind. Denise considered herself a matchmaker and I already knew that she thought I desperately needed a man. Apparently she thought Chris would fit the bill.
“So are you finally going to stop being so hard headed and leave with that man? If you do, you better send me post cards from all of the great places that you go.”
I shouldn’t have told her because to Denise the answer was really clear.
“I’m going to see what he wants. You never know, next he might want to buy my house too.”
She scoffed and me and I hung up before I could hear an answer. I was trying to hold onto the anger and secrets that I had. I couldn’t have him coming back in here and messing my head up. It wasn’t right and I just couldn’t do it again.
Steeling myself for his arrival, I turned some of the flood lights on outside and waited on the back porch with my cup of coffee. I looked up at the sky and frowned. I had missed some of it and now I was going to blame that on Chris as well. Why was he back here? Was he just here to mess with my head again because he had done such a good job the first time around?
I heard a vehicle in the distance and it took a while for it to get to me, but I didn’t have to look to know that it was Chris. It was a feeling that I got. He must have been going fast to get here
so quickly after leaving the restaurant. I never made that good of time and I wished now for more time to prepare myself to see him again. Chris was not the kind of man that I could see casually. It was always more than I wanted it to be and this time was going to be no different.
I heard him start to walk up and I hollered to him that I was on the porch so that he would know where to go. I had him a cup of coffee on the small table next to me and waited for another blow from my past life that seemed to haunt me. I needed to find out what he wanted and get him out of here as soon as I possibly could.
The sight of him did me in. I don’t know why, but it was like seeing him all over again for the first time. He wasn’t supposed to be here and he certainly wasn’t supposed to look this good. He’d most likely flew through the night and it looked like he had just stepped out of the office. He was all business and for once I could see him in the city running an empire. Chris certainly looked the part and he was just as handsome as ever.
“Long time no see Chris.”
He didn’t say anything as he got closer. He just had this determination in his eyes that worried me down to my core. What was he here for?
“I have some coffee for you if you want some. It’s how you like it.”
Chris was coming up the side steps to the porch and still his expression hadn’t changed and he had this look in his eyes that told me he wasn’t here for just business.
“Are you going to say something because you are starting to freak me out Chris? What are you here for?”
“I’m here for you.”
He was standing in front of me and pulled me in for a kiss that I did not see coming. His lips were soft and insistent and against all of my better judgement, I melted against him and kissed him back. Fuck, I couldn’t tell this man no.
Chapter 27
Chris
She felt amazing in my arms and every doubt that I had washed away with the first kiss and the response that she gave me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that she was going to have it out with me, but at the end of the day she was still mine and the kiss was all of the assurance that I needed to go forward.
When I pulled away from her and looked down at her face, her eyes were still closed and I could tell that me being here was about as surprising to her as it was to me. One conversation had pushed me over the edge and I was relieved to see that she was okay. I don’t know what I expected to find when I got here, but I was determined not to let Rosco’s fate be mine. He was still hurting from it and I could still see the look on his face when he had concluded his little story. I wasn’t going to live with that kind of regret.
“I made a huge mistake twice. I don't want to make it again.”
I moved in to kiss her and this time she backed up a little bit. I wasn’t going to push it. I got that first kiss and that was the one that mattered.
“What are you doing here?”
She was repeating herself and I didn’t want to string it along anymore. The only way I was going to get the Molly back that I missed so much was to lay it all out and see where we stood.
“I’m here to correct that mistake and see if you will have me back.”
“Back where though?”
I whistled under my breath. “You are relentless. Here. Right here on this very mountain if that is what you so choose. I’ve made my fortune, ten times over and it never compared to that week that I had with you. I know now what I really need in my life and it isn’t fancy restaurants and a company that can run without me. It’s you Molly and it always has been. Can you forgive me?”
“For what?”
“Taking this long to see it.”
“Well you always were dense Chris, but I was hoping that you would come around eventually. It just took longer than I’d hoped it would.”
She was the only person that I knew that could insult me and make me smile all at the same time. Moly had always had that strange feature to her character and it was just another example of how perfect we were together.
“So can I kiss you now?”
I was only asking for the sake of asking because I was going to. I was already moving towards her and to my relief she didn’t back up this time around. She let me tug her to me and this time her arms went around my body and she held me just as tightly as I was holding her. I wanted her desperately and there was never going to be a better time than now.
But her acquiesce didn’t last very long. She was pulling back from me again and I could see that she wasn’t ready to let it all go to the wayside. Molly still didn’t trust me and a lot of levels I didn’t blame her. I had messed up in the past when it came to us.
“How can I trust that you will stay and that you won’t leave again? I can’t go through this another time.”
“Because I am here to make it official, so that we can start that family that we have talked about for so long.”
She was shaking visibly and I was going to take that as a good sign. She was so damn beautiful and I loved the way her hand came out when I got on my knee and raised the ring box up to her. It wasn’t the first time that I’d asked her, but this time it was going to stick.
“Will you?”
She nodded her head with tears in her eyes. Last time I’d made a production of it, but this time I had only came with the truth and a family heirloom ring that I wanted back on her finger. I had given it to her before, but in the midst of a fight, she had thrown it at my head.
“This time we keep it on your finger. I’ve made arrangements. We are getting married tomorrow. I don’t want to give you any time to change your mind. Everything will be done today and tomorrow you will be my bride. I’ve made all of the necessary appointments and purchases.”
She had this look that I wasn’t quite sure about.
“I have something that I need to tell you, that I’ve been meaning to tell you for about a month.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, but I knew that I was going to have to prepare for it. Whatever it was that she was going to tell me was big, I could see it in her eyes.
“We’ve already started that family that we used to talk about. I was going to tell you, I really was, I just didn’t know how to and you know that I have a weakness for you and I was scared of what would happen. I didn’t want to fall for you again.”
I chuckled. “Were you afraid of this? Are you afraid of me, so much that you would keep something like that from me?”
Now that made me nervous. I didn’t like the idea of her keeping my child away from me, but I had to believe that she wouldn’t have in the end.
“I’m afraid of how you make me feel when you are around. I knew that seeing you or even hearing your voice was going to make me fall back under your spell.”
“Did it work?”
She bumped my shoulder and looked at the ring I’d slid on her hand. “Yeah, you know it did. There is just some kind of hold you have on me Chris. I don’t think it will ever go away.”
“It better not. So a family huh? Bout time.”
“Is that all you have to say? When I found out, I was freaked out.”
“You’re not alone Molly. There is nothing to be upset about. We have been planning this for a while.”
Chapter 28
Molly
Everything was perfect and the more I tried to pull it together, the more I wanted to fall apart. Chris had thought of everything and now that he was here and we were getting married in a matter of minutes, I was shaking with the idea of it all and it was getting harder and harder to get it to stop. How was I supposed to go down the aisle if I was like this? Everyone I knew was crammed into the only church in town to see us finally get married and I had never been so nervous in all of my life.
There was a strange part of me that thought this was all a dream. It wouldn’t have been the first time that I’d dream something very similar to this. In the dream I would walk down the aisle and then Chris would leave or he was never there. I knew that he would be this time, in real life, but the
dream me was worried that it was going to play out in that sort of way.
Denise was there to assure me, but there was no rational way to do so. I was all in my head and the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to just go on and get it over with before I lost my nerve and I was the one that didn’t make it.
“You’re going to be fine Molly. You two have a history. This isn’t like he is someone that you have just met. You know him well and you love him and you’re pregnant. There is more reason to do it than not to do it.”
She was right of course and I knew all of those things, but having history with someone wasn’t always a good thing. It meant that I knew all of his flaws, as well as he knew all of mine. We did know each other well, but that didn’t take away the fear that I couldn’t shake. I knew what he was capable of doing to me and even now I feared it.
“I know, but he is the only person that can hurt me.”
“And he is the only one that can make you smile like this. I have never seen you this happy. Stop standing in your own way and get down that aisle.”
I heard the music playing and it was time. I knew that I wasn’t going to really think this was happening until it was over. I made the first steps towards becoming his bride and I was relieved to see that he was there when I got there. Chris smiled at me and the wattage made me return the look. He looked so happy. I knew that I was going to always want to see that smile on his face. There was love there and I knew I had to take this chance. If I didn’t, I would regret it the rest of my life.
The preacher was the same one that we had gone to before when we were planning on getting married. He told us when we went to see him the day before that he was glad that we had come back together. He had said something about knowing that we were meant to be together and to me it was just another sign that it was fate that we were here and together, getting married. We were going to have the family that we had always talked about and I was going to have to do like Denise said and get over it all. It had worked out for the best and even though it was hard to imagine everything being okay, it was. It really was.