by Lauren Wood
I could sense the guys staring at me and wondering what it would take to have my panties lying on their bedroom floor. Some were blatant by licking their lips and some were standoffish moving back and forth on the balls of their feet. It didn’t matter and their intentions were pretty damn clear from where I was standing.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Rita. Gerald has his reservations about our relationship and he thinks that I’m spending too much time with you. There’s no reason for him to be jealous. I have more than enough love to give the both of you in different ways.” I had contemplated convincing Kirkland to jump off the fence for one night. I just couldn’t find the right words when we were alone together.
“I feel like I’m drunk, unsteady on my feet and the room is spinning counterclockwise.” I had tried to avoid the hard stuff during any party, but I had the misfortune of being introduced to tequila. It was lucky that Kirkland was there. He was able to pull me back before I did something regrettable with a freshman.
“I want you to take a few deep breaths. We both do meditation and yoga. The man that you end up with is going to be one lucky man. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen anybody bend like you do.” I was always quite agile and being double jointed gave me an unfair advantage. I never did capitalize on it.
I was at the front of the line with the pen in my hand. The girl was saying something. The only thing that I could hear was the crinkling of the paper.
I suddenly perked up and I closed my eyes to the fragrance of someone’s cologne. It was quite strong and gave me the impression of someone that was not a teenage horn dog.
“Your hand has stopped trembling and whatever you’re thinking about is doing the trick. Let’s go over here and fill that out.” He was dragging me away from what could’ve been the man of my dreams. I didn’t see him, but the aroma was like sex personified.
“I’m not sure what it is, but I feel a strangely calming influence.” I looked around for the source, but there was no way to pinpoint where it was coming from. I didn’t have time to date. I wanted something more than just to sit there making idle chit chat. There was only one thing on their mind and it had nothing to do with a white picket fence.
I breezed through the registration and found myself forking out the necessary fee for the class and the books to go along with it. The professor’s name was Damian Cloud. I didn’t know much about him, but I could easily find out by doing my due diligence.
There was no substitute for the real thing. The very brief description of his credentials showed that he was quite accomplished in the journalism field. I was looking forward to meeting him on my first day…or should I say my first night.
Chapter 2
Damian
“I should be out there living by the seat of my pants. You know what they say?” Blaine was a colleague and someone that I found it necessary to confide in.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” There was no reason why he should and it wasn’t like he had the respect of his peers.
“I’ve lived more than anybody and this feels like a step down. They say that those that can’t do teach and that doesn’t apply to me.” I felt trapped like an animal. I wanted to gnaw my arm off to get away from the tedious boredom of day to day life.
“Damian, there’s no shame in taking this position for the interim. Your divorce was ugly and cost you half of what you earn. You no longer have the luxury of taking the assignments that catch your attention. Living beyond your means makes it necessary for you to jump at this opportunity.” I thought that I was doing the right thing. Blaine had been quite convincing.
The money was nothing to sneeze at, but the classroom didn’t hold the appeal of real life. These kids had to learn there was more to life than textbooks.
“It’s easy for you to say and you’ve never had the need to keep up with the Joneses. If I only took your advice, I probably wouldn’t be here.” Blaine was the only one who had the balls to tell me what he thought when I was marrying for the first time. It was the reason why we had lost touch. I couldn’t have his negative energy.
Looking at Blaine, I was reminded of the stuffy professor that I had before I finally broke free of academia. I had no interest in wearing glasses or sporting a coat with patches on the elbows. If I was going to do this then I was going to do this my way.
“I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen to me. Everybody has to learn the hard way. I’m not one to tell you I told you so. Unfortunately, it means that you’re going to have to bite the bullet and walk into that classroom with your head held high.” Blaine was giving me a pep talk over a caffeine injection right into my veins.
The coffee was black and was the perfect pick me up to give me the courage to start this new chapter in my life. I had tried dating, but they were already jaded from past relationships. They were looking for the quick fix.
“I don’t need to rehash history. I did sneak a peek at some of the new recruits last week at registration. I honestly don’t see any potential. I would be very surprised to see anybody rise to the cream of the crop.” It wasn’t fair of me to make snap judgments. There could be a diamond in the rough and it was just a matter of polishing off the rough exterior.
“I really don’t have time to hold your hand.” I gave him a dirty look and he whistled a happy tune going out the door.
I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror hoping that I would recognize the man that I used to be before she took my nuts. I was a little weathered around the eyes, but I still had my hair and I was in relatively good health.
I was going to be a breath of fresh air in the classroom. I was hitting my stride at 45. I looked younger like I had found the fountain of youth. I improvised by using my environment as my own personal gym. I liked to think of myself as an innovator and I was never in one place long enough to have a gym membership.
I moved my hands through my hair and looked at how dejected my eyes looked. I had to put this past me and my friends kept telling me the best way to do that was to get underneath someone. I was pretty selective and Jennifer had been the only one to tie me down to a commitment.
I was like the honey bee flitting from one flower to another to pollinate before moving on.
I rolled up the sleeves of my white shirt, taking off the red tie and unbuttoning the first couple of buttons. The black pants were perfectly accented by my belt with a silver skull on the buckle. It was my way of defiantly snubbing my nose at authority.
I walked down the hallway carrying the brand new briefcase in brown leather. It was given to me by my father. He was living in an assisted care home for the elderly. Amazingly, he wasn’t wilting away and had blossomed by becoming the Casanova of the group. He proved to me age was only a number.
Looking out the window, I saw the cherry red 98 Wrangler Jeep. I breathed a sigh of relief that I was able to keep it after the divorce. I had to beg on bended knee to keep it out of her hands. Of course, I had to give something back in return which turned out to be a priceless collection of rare books by Shakespeare.
I had already read the volumes and it seemed pointless to keep them around gathering dust. I was never going to pick them up again and I couldn’t say the same thing about the Jeep calling my name.
It was my guilty pleasure for hitting the open road whenever the urge came over me. Putting the top down and letting the wind blow through my hair took me back to my teenage years of being carefree.
These kids had no idea what they were in store for when they finally were ready to make their mark in the world. I had to prepare them for the never ending rejection. It was my job to give them the tools. What they did with them was entirely in their hands.
I had noticed one girl last week firing on all cylinders. Her body was banging and worth a second look. I found myself mesmerized by her eyes and everything below the waist had me hungering for something off limits.
Staring at her, I recognized the need unfurling in my pants and I wanted des
perately to cross the line of good taste. I think she knew I was there. I stood no more than a few feet away from her and yet it felt like she was just out of reach. The university was a smorgasbord of fresh young faces. It would be like taking candy from a baby. I just didn’t get that impression from her and the challenge was easily the highlight of my day.
This job was nothing to me. It was a means to an end. The first chance I got, I would be on the first flight to some war ravaged country at the expense of my editor. There were too many freelance photographers without journalistic integrity. It was something vastly lacking from the next generation which I hoped to instill in their young minds.
I was at the door to the threshold and I steeled myself for the unnerving looks in my direction. Some would know me by reputation and others would learn through the power of the internet.
I was looking for something that I couldn’t get from my wife. We had a daughter just entering her first year in college. She had cast aside any of our hopes by going to a party school in Miami.
These kids underneath this roof had no choice. Most of them were crippled by financial hardships. They would grab onto just about anything to break free of the depressing Chicago winters.
“I know some of you are expecting this to be a cakewalk. I won’t be following any kind of curriculum. I have been given the freedom to show you what real journalism is all about. I’m going to place you within the stories and make you live them through the eyes of the subjects. I’m fair but harsh when it comes to grades. I don’t believe in grading on a curve. You do the work, excel at it and we’ll never have a problem where I will have to call you after class.” I wasn’t even looking at them and they were pretty much faceless strangers.
I strode with a confidence that I didn’t feel I had. I scrawled my name on the blackboard in bold letters so that anybody could see it even if they were sitting at the back of the class. I opened the briefcase and took out the necessary teaching supplies.
“If you can’t handle hard work then you know where the door is. This might be a night class, but I still take this seriously. Those who are here because you want a pat on the back then I suggest you turn around and go back out the same way you came.” I felt in my element. Having this kind of control made me feel like I had their futures in the palm of my hand.
“I was wondering what your position is regarding the story you did in Nicaragua.” The feminine tone caught me off guard. I had no idea anybody even remembered. It was a harrowing ordeal and had me a prisoner of a contingent of soldiers for almost three weeks.
“I don’t have time to get into the details.” I turned my attention to the girl who had asked the question. I was quite surprised to see that it was the same young impressionable face I had seen at registration last week. Her name was Rita.
Chapter 3
Rita
I sat there through his first class completely taken by his teaching style. He walked around carrying this wooden stick with intricate carvings. It was as if he was using it to keep our undivided attention.
“I’ve given you a lot to think about. I have random assignments which I expect you to complete by tomorrow morning. I want you to give this 100%. There’s too much uncertainty in this world and you need to recognize the cracks in society. This will determine whether or not you will be staying in my class.” I could tell from the way that the other women were squirming in their seats that they wanted him to give them private lessons.
I put up my hand, waving it slightly to make sure the class ring on my finger caught the light in just the right way.
He was bigger than life. I wasn’t expecting him to take a personal interest. We weren’t just numbers and he spoke to us like we were equals.
“Rita…it appears you have a question to address the classroom. Please, do us the honor of standing to make sure everybody hears you.” I wasn’t expecting to be singled out. Public speaking was not my strong suit.
Taking a deep breath, I put my hands on the desk and got up to see that everybody was watching me. If this was a nightmare then I would’ve been in my underwear.
“I was just wondering what direction you want us to take for this assignment. I was thinking something unorthodox and maybe drawing outside the lines.” I had my assignment and I wanted to tweak it slightly to get more bang for my buck.
“I want you to figure it out on your own. The only way that any of you are going to learn is by first-hand experience. The classroom is only one small component. The only thing I require is that you write me something that is going to keep my attention from the first word to the last.” He was moving his hands around in the air. The shirt that he was wearing was struggling against his muscular physique.
I sat back down and scribbled some notes which I was going to use as a template. The rest of the students filed out stopping momentarily to speak to him.
This shadow loomed over me. He took my paper and ripped into confetti. He tossed it into the air with the pieces floating like a snowstorm around us. He didn’t say a word, but his manner gave the impression he wasn’t happy. I was a little shell shocked to respond to this obvious invasion of my privacy.
The door closed, leaving me alone with a man twice my age and old enough to be my father.
“I suspect you are an over achiever. I know this goes against everything you believe, but making notes is old school. I want you to learn to use your God given instincts.” I could see some of his chest hairs with a few slightly discolored than the rest of them. It gave him character and life experience. It was something that I was vastly lacking.
“I always…take notes and I don’t consider myself an over achiever.” I was a little tongue tied for the first time in my life. “I do try to make sure there are no avenues left unexplored.” Under the pale moon outside the window, his glaring expression had me frozen in place.
“You need to go outside your comfort zone. This assignment isn’t going to help you to shake things up. I’m going to amend my decision.” He took the assignment out of my hands and he ran a black marker through the entire thing. I was stunned. This was the first time I was left without a safety net. It was scary and exciting at the same time.
I could tell that his attention to detail had caught sight of the white leather skirt clinging to my flesh. I only had to move a fraction of an inch. He turned and adjusted himself thinking that I had no clue.
“I don’t know why I have to be any different than all the rest.” I looked down at the new assignment and was livid to learn of what he wanted me to do. I had no idea how he could possibly know, but this was throwing me into the lion’s den. He was expecting me to put my head in its mouth metaphorically speaking.
“This will teach you to stay after class when everybody else goes about their business. I don’t want to make you feel small. There’s no shame in being afraid. I read the essay of each of my students when they registered for my class. The question remains if you are able to see your true potential.” He was in the perfect position to look down my shirt. I could feel my nipples rubbing obscenely against my bra.
“I can’t do this. You can’t make me.” The subject he had given me was my father. I was to interview him and ask him the hard questions. I already had the fuel to make the fire.” Damian was white lightning born to drive me wild. I wanted more of our verbal sparring match.
“It’s entirely up to you, but I suspect you will rise above your own unhealthy fear. I could be wrong. You could fold like a piece of paper. Show me what this means to you and how far you’re willing to go to live your dream.” His biceps were huge and when they flexed, I almost creamed a little inside of my panties. It wasn’t the only muscle that had garnered my attention.
The one more prevalent was quite the healthy specimen of a man. He was not average by any means and the thickness had me wondering if seeing it up close and personal would ruin the suspense.
“The only thing that I can promise is to try.” I tried to get up, but he grabbed my wrists and held
me in place. I felt like his prisoner. My thighs were quivering at the possibility of him having his way with me.
“I have never liked that word. Trying is for losers. You will exceed my expectations because you have no choice. Come back with juicy details and we can determine if you are the right fit for this profession. Not everybody is cut out for hard-nosed journalism. You might be better served to interview for puff pieces. Those teachers that told you there is no right or wrong answers were lying to you.” I felt like an anvil was on top of my chest. I was flushed and my nipples could cut through glass.
“I don’t know what you want from me. You’re throwing me into the deep end without a lifeline. I’m either going to sink or swim with this assignment.” There was no happy medium.
“I told you from the very beginning this wasn’t going to be easy. If you were expecting me to smile sweetly and let you slide by then you are in for rude awakening. I expect nothing but the best and the tough assignments give you character. All of you need to develop a thick skin. Breaking into this field is going to take a person with grapefruits.” I was trying to hide the shame of my condition. It was difficult with him staring through me like he could see through to my very soul.
“I will do it, but not because you said to. I’ve been putting this off long enough. I doubt my relationship with my father will ever be the same again. I can’t live my life for him.” I was getting in touch with my feelings at the same time undressing him with my eyes.
There was a tattoo on his left forearm of what looked like a spider with long legs crisscrossing over his wrist. There was something foreboding almost sinister in the way that he was looking at me.
“Everybody has to face the one thing they need to overcome. It’s the anchor around your ankle. You have the key to free you from the burden. I want you to use it.” He seemed to have my best interest at heart. He could have been a father figure. I did want to call him daddy, but it would take on a whole different context.