by Lauren Wood
So as far as Elizabeth had known Sara might have stayed. Even though after that night their relationship had never been the same; Sara had still stood up for her friend.
The truth was she had honestly believed Elizabeth’s story about Seth raping her. Why would her friend lie to her? When all this started her parents died so suddenly, they couldn’t share the truth about what they also knew. Sara had been telling the truth when she hadn’t been with Elizabeth.
Well there was nothing she could do about that now, why focus on it?
Ben on the other hand, she had to get these feelings under control. If she kissed him, and anyone found out, she would be banished for sure.
Though she was curious about the outside, she feared it more. She didn’t think she would have a chance to survive. Most likely she would end up like those destitute women she had heard the old ladies talk about. “All women who are banished end up on the streets selling their body, they have no hope of any redemption.” Sara had heard more than one time.
“I can’t allow that to happen.” She cried. “I will be strong; I will not allow these thoughts to come into my mind again. He’s a movie star, he’ll be gone soon, and I’ll go back to my normal outcast life.” She pepped herself up before she went to collect the eggs outside.
She opened the door and began to make her way to the hen house. She sees him walk around the corner of the hen house; he’s collected the eggs already. Sara feels her resolve melt instantly. I wish he would have kissed me; she thinks and smiles to herself.
Chapter Eight
“Hey how are you feeling?” He asked her.
“I’m okay, thanks for getting the eggs.”
“It wasn’t a problem. I’m trying to pull my full share now. A decent woman once told me I was lazy. I listened and wanted to prove to her that I wasn’t.” He smiled at her.
Sara looked down at the ground quickly, her heart fluttered. “I have to go into the market, your welcome to come if you want.”
The truth was she was sure it was a bad idea to invite him. She would explain to him on the way into town that he would see a few things he might not like. But he needed to just ignore it all.
“Sure sounds fun.” He said. “Let me just put these eggs in the house.”
She watched him run into the house. Would he be worth leaving this life for? She thought it and then remembered his words, how much he didn’t want to be married. So why would he want to marry her? Sara laughed at herself. Her flight of fancy had made her realize just how far out of her league Ben really was.
As they headed to the market, Sara broached the subject lightly. “So when we get to market there may be a few people there who don’t like me much.”
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“They think that I should have been banished with Elizabeth. None of them know that I came back home early. The only two people who knew that are dead now.” She explained.
“Okay so they think you should have been banished, the hell with them.” Ben said.
“Ben please don’t say that.” She said quickly.
“Oh I’m sorry.” He watched the scenery go by.
As soon as they got to the market the trouble started. “Whore.” An old man walked passed her and said.
Ben looked at her quickly and asked, “Did he call you what I think he did?”
“I didn’t hear anything.” She lied.
“Well I heard it clearly.” Ben muttered. “If anyone else says something like that I’ll make them pay for it.”
“Please Ben don’t, you’ll only make more problems for me.” Sara pleaded with him.
“Fine, but only because of that, trust me I’ll be thinking of doing it.” Ben said his teeth clenched tightly together.
“You are a whore; you should have been kicked out with her.” And young man came and stood in front of Sara. Ben was okay, until the man spit on her.
He drew back his arm and connected square with the man’s jaw.
“Ben don’t stop please. Get off of him; he has a reason to be mad.” He could hear her yelling, but didn’t want to stop hitting the man.
“Hey look that’s Ben North!” He hears a scream coming from his side.
“Where?” Ben hears someone else.
“Over there, fighting that Amish guy.”
Ben stopped immediately. He stood up and looked around.
“Hey your right, Mr. North can I get your autograph.” Ben hears as the people swallow him up.
He tries to find Sara and spots her for a minute, and sees the Amish who are standing around her. Their looks are unmistakable, she’s crossed the line, and they will make sure she pays.
Ben tries to push out of the crowd, “Come on folks I have to get through. I’m sorry I can’t sign any autographs right now.” When he’s on the other side, he sees the carriage going as Sara runs away.
Chapter Nine
Sara slowly makes her way back home. She had been mortified that she would be banished. However, she had stopped at her grandpa’s home and talked to him. She had told him about everything, and he had assured her that he would see she could stay. She had felt so happy, like her prayers had been answered.
She sees Ben watching her approach as she draws the buggy up to the barn.
“Look I’m sorry about today; I know I’ve made it so awkward for you. What can I do to fix it?” He had covered the space so quickly, she jumped when he talked.
“My grandpa said it will be okay. Some of me is sad about that though. However, I can’t leave because of the kids. I’ve never felt like I fit in her anyway. It just proves to me more than ever after today. Even if he has talked them into it, that doesn’t mean they’ll be any nicer to me.”
“What about when the kids are old enough to move out? Would you move out of the community after that?” He asked. Ben wasn’t sure why he wanted her to say yes, but his heart felt like it was on fire as he waited.
“Yes I would.” Sara answered.
Ben couldn’t hold himself back; he covered her mouth with his. It started as a light kiss, but soon deepened. He felt rocked when he stepped back. He’d never felt that way from a kiss in his life.
Sara looked up at him. “You can’t stay, there is no reason, and we would only be tortured.”
Ben wanted to argue, but he knew she was right. He wanted to kiss her again and do much more with her. He shrugged his shoulders and walked away from her.
Sara felt like she would break down as he left. Her knees were going to buckle. She made her way back to the house after he was gone. She couldn’t bear to have been there when he had his suitcase in hand.
Maybe they would see each other again one day, but she didn’t know. If she had been hoping anymore to hear the words, she might have asked him. “Ben can I come stay with you when the kids leave?” But she hadn’t said it. She had wanted him to ask her.
But how could she expect that from him, he didn’t want long-term. He would surely go back to LA and forget she even exists. Sara felt like she was going to cry.
Finally making it to the house she went to her room and crumpled on the bed. Now she let the tears come freely and she did. Her sobs came in loud sounds from deep inside of her.
Chapter Ten
Ben had left Lancaster what seemed like ages ago now. He had gone straight to the ranch that was now all his. This had been his first visit in years though, and he saw how run down the house had been.
He spent any free time he had at the farm house fixing it up. He had plans to be in this house soon, and hopefully Sara would be with him. There hadn’t been a day that passed that she wasn’t on his mind.
He woke up in the morning and thought of her. He pictured Sara as the woman who he was playing opposite in the movie. On screen it had been pure magic.
The Oscar was his almost before the movie was even in the can. The talk had been all about how Ben North had pulled off an amazing drama role. He had even seen one review, after the movie was out, that said, “I
f I didn’t know better I would swear Ben North used to be Amish.”
Tonight was the big of the event, and his nerves were up high. Even though he had almost been assured the win was his, he still wondered if he would win.
Ben wished that Sara could be by his side for the event. He wanted everyone to know who had truly inspired his performance. He knew how true it was.
During the filming he had pictured Sara and how he would feel being betrayed by her. His heart had felt like it was ripped apart while they were filming the scene of his breakdown. Not a tear had been left dry after he was done with the scene. It had taken the director several minutes before he could even call cut to the scene.
Ben thought at that moment that he deserved the Oscar. He hoped everyone else had the same experience when they had watched the movie.
He walked into the event, several cameras flashed in his eyes.
“Mr. North, do you think you’ll win tonight?” He heard a reporter call out to him.
“I’ll win if God is willing!” Ben smiled and moved on.
He hated all the glitz and glamor now, he had once loved it so much. Now he couldn’t wait for this to be over and be back in Texas. He wondered how the world would feel when they heard Ben North was retiring?
Ben would do that for her. He wanted to spend his time with her. So if she did come, he would spend his days with her.
“The Winner for Actor of the Year is, Ben North, for his work in Amish Love.” He heard announced and stood up automatically.
He got to the podium and cleared his throat. “I’d like to thank you all for this award. To the director and all the other people who helped me do so well in this role. The biggest thanks though goes to a woman who will never hear this speech, Sara Albright. She was my in to the Amish community, she taught me many things. She was my inspiration for this film, and thanks to her, I played a tremendous role.” He finished and the room exploded in applauds.
Ben left early, skipping the after party. He didn’t want any questions; he simply wanted to escape to Texas and work. He had sent a letter out yesterday to Sara. He wondered if she had received it yet.
**
Sara wondered every day what was up with Ben. She had now had to resort to having Sally and Henry go to market. Her tainting hadn’t rubbed off on them. She was trying to distance them from her as much as she could.
Sara had been pushing them out the door more and more lately. Telling them to go and mingle. She thought it was working out well, she had heard Henry talking about one of the young girls.
Soon he would be proposing to her. She could hope that she said yes, that would be one sibling out of the door.
Sally would take a bit longer. She was quite shy and wouldn’t talk to many of the young men who approached her. Maybe her grandpa would speed up the process, she could hope.
Today had been the second time she had sent them to the market together. She had no choice. She had tried to go and had found that all of the Amish let her know just how lucky she was, who her grandpa was. They suggested that she not show up at the market again, or she might not make it back. She could feel the anger coming from them, and was sure they saw it as justice from God. Sara had gone home quickly, shaken to the core by the whole thing.
The next market she had convinced Henry and Sally they should go by themselves. They had sold a bit of the food they had taken along. Sara hoped this was a good sign that they were more accepted.
“I hope they don’t turn against them too. Please God if you’ve ever done me a favor this would be the one I want the most.” She prayed allowed.
For what seemed like the hundredth time of the day she wondered what Ben was doing right now. She wondered how many girls he had bedded since he’d been back in LA.
As if a sign from God, she opened the mail box and found a letter from Ben. She held it to her heart for a second, and then quickly ripped the letter open.
My dearest Sara,
I hope this finds you well. I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left. I don’t know how close you are to having the children out of the house, but please find these tickets for a bus trip to Texas. I went there when I first left Lancaster, and have since been fixing up my childhood home. I would love if you come to live with me here. I want to have you in my life and only you Sara. These tickets can be used whenever you are ready, I’ll be waiting! Just call me from Amarillo and I’ll come and pick you up right away.
All my love,
Ben
FILTHY PROFESSOR
Chapter 1
Rita
“I don’t know how you managed to talk me into this. My father won’t understand. He expects me to go into politics and that’s not where my passion lies. I have you to thank for pushing me into doing this.” I stood there looking at my friend Kirkland and I only wished that we could’ve been more. I just didn’t feel that way about him. I found out later his tastes revolved around the same sex.
“It didn’t take much to open up your eyes, Rita. We’ve been friends a long time and I know when you’re not happy. A bottle of a wine later and I finally had you spilling the beans.” He had on an outfit that made him look like he was on his way to a country club. The sweater over his shoulders gave him the air of sophistication.
The lineup for registration was significantly shorter for night classes. It was the only way that I was going to get my degree in journalism. My job playing the assistant to my father kept me busy during the day.
“I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I’ve already been taking classes on the Internet. It’s amazing what you can find if you’re willing to look.” I didn’t want to say anything about my extracurricular activities behind closed doors. I had a dirty mind and nobody knew it.
“This is only the first step. Stepping into the class is when you’re going to finally see what you’re made of. It’s about time you take what you learn and apply it to real life.” His blond hair was natural and no doubt matched the carpet.
I was a sassy redhead, but I didn’t have the fiery temper to go along with the stereotype. I was quite fanatical about everything being a certain way. It was what made me a valuable commodity in any workplace environment.
My interest in journalism came when I found evidence of embezzlement in my father’s campaign. His longtime manager was squirreling away hundreds of thousands of dollars. Nobody would’ve found out had I not gone snooping when I found something of a discrepancy. My father was not very receptive until I gave him clear-cut proof of his wrongdoing.
“I’ve had the journalism bug for quite some time. They say once it’s in your blood you never get rid of it.” Kirkland was holding my hand. Without him, I’m sure that I would have run away before I had the chance to make the necessary deposit. I was terrified and my hands were trembling.
“I thought I saw a certain something in your eye when you brought that man to justice. I had never seen you any happier. I tried to talk to you about it, but you constantly waved me away dismissively. I’m glad that your father had to go on the road and it gave us time to have a very frank discussion.” He had shown up on the weekend brandishing the bottle of wine and two chick flicks.
“You’ve always known that I was a sucker for anything with Hugh Grant. It has to be the accent. I know he’s old enough to be my father.” Kirkland was keeping himself in the closet and sneaking around with someone of like mind. I was the only one he trusted with his secret. It was hard not to snicker. His father was oblivious and was constantly trying to fix him up.
“We’ve known each other long enough to understand when one of us is trying to hide something from the other. I was never one to give up easily on my friends.” He had the ability to read between the lines. It was the reason why he was going to make a great psychologist after he finished his last year in college.
I had my red hair pulled back into pigtails. It gave me that innocent quality to sneak underneath the radar.
“I haven’t been happy
for quite some time. I just have no idea how I’m going to break the news to my father when the time comes.” He had raised me as a single parent after my mother ran off with an aerobics instructor. It was hard on him, but it didn’t stop him from dating those that only wanted to get their hands in his pockets.
“He may not understand at first, but he only wants you to be happy.” The nervous energy was in the air and I could practically cut it with a knife.
“I never gave him any indication that I wanted something different. This is going to totally blind side him. There’s no point in rocking the boat this close to the election. He’s going to need full control of his faculties.” I was only making excuses. Kirkland was shaking his head in disbelief that I was using this as some kind of crutch.
“It’s like anything and you can either take off the band aid slowly or rip it off. My advice may seem hypocritical considering my own reluctance to tell my family about Gerald.” He had found someone worthy of his affection and I could only hope to be as happy as he was.
“It’s all about timing. I trust that you’ll know what to do when the time comes. You know that I will be there holding your hand the entire way. I will be your support system.” I didn’t remember a time when he wasn’t in my life. Kirkland was there when my mother decided that it was too much work to be a mother.
“You’re shaking like a leaf.” He took off his sweater and he draped it over my shoulders like a true gentleman. I could only hope for the same treatment from the man that I gave my heart to.
I had heard several horror stories from friends about their first times. I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake by getting involved with someone with very little experience. It would’ve been like the blind leading the blind.
“I’m glad you’re here and I doubt that I would’ve been able to go through with this without you.” The black leather skirt was tight over my hips and the man’s shirt was tied in a way to expose my midriff.