The Woman He Married

by Ford, Julie

  “Look, I didn’t mean... It’s just a misunderstanding, that’s all.” Josie tried to explain but couldn’t find the right words.

  “Oh yeah? Well that misunderstanding’s going to cost us,” Lori said, fuming. “Do you think any of those parents are going to put their hard-earned money down to buy a…a porno film?”

  Porno film? I wonder what she’s been watching after the kids go to bed? “I’m truly sorry. It’s just that…” Josie tried again. Damn, what were those excuses I was going to use? “Oh, you must have a sick mind.” No, there was more, I’m sure—

  “What?” Fuming, Lori didn’t let Josie finish. “Mark my words! You will never, and I mean never, volunteer at this school again.” She stomped her foot and pointed a stubby finger in Josie’s face. “You’re not fit to mop these floors.”

  Gina growled, “That’s it.” Nudging Josie out of the way, she stepped forward. “Listen, sister. You’ve crossed a line here. You don’t get to decide—”

  “You stay out of this,” Lori said, taking a step forward, both fists balled at her side. “Everyone knows you’re some sort of atheist-liberal.”

  “And damn proud of it!” Gina came back as she started toward Lori with an open palm.

  Josie could hear John’s voice in her head, saying, “First you embarrass our family by dressing our son as a penis and then you get in a fight with Lori Watson—I play golf with her husband at the club, you know.”

  Josie decided to intervene. “Okay, I think everyone needs to take a step back.” As much as she would enjoy seeing Lori Watson get slapped, she could see the headline now:

  Soccer Moms Clash Over Third-Grade Production When One Mom, Jocelyn Bearden, wife of Judicial Candidate John Bearden, designs costumes that resemble male genitalia.

  From the auditorium Lori’s daughter recited her final lines, “And I’ll always eat my veggies…ALL BY MYSELF!” indicating that the performance had come to an end.

  Exhaling loudly, Lori shot Josie one last “death” stare and said, “Now I have to get back in there and pretend like everything’s okay.” Stalking past them, she headed back to the stage.

  “Should be easy enough for you,” Gina called behind her. “I never will understand why Southern women want to go around all the time pretending like everything’s okay—when clearly it’s not.”

  Josie knew that last comment was directed as much to her as it was to Lori.

  “You should have let me slap her,” Gina added.

  Before disappearing through the door, Lori glanced over her shoulder at Josie and said, “I will never understand why John Bearden married you in the first place.”

  Lori’s words cut Josie to the core. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen to protect her weak organs from any further assault.

  “Everyone knows John wasn’t anything until he married you,” Gina spat back.

  Josie stared down at the floor. That’s why he married me… Because of my daddy…and what the Judge could do for him.

  All these years she’d told herself there was more to their marriage than just convenience, but it was becoming increasingly clear that she’d been mistaken. With her arms still tightly wrapped around her waist, Josie staggered over to the cold tile wall and leaned against it for support.

  The hallway fell unnaturally silent an instant before applause erupted from the auditorium. Josie looked to her best friend with a doleful smile.

  Gina appeared to have more angry words to spew but she kept them to herself as she joined Josie against the wall. Smiling sympathetically, she said, “Just hold your chin high. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. The costumes were great with the exception of… Well someday we’ll be laughing about this. Right?”

  “Lord, I hope so.” Josie took a deep breath, and released it slowly.

  A quiet moment lingered between them before Gina again broke the silence. “Well, I could sneak you out the back, but you’ll have to face everyone sooner or later.” Pushing up from the wall, she shoved her hands down into her pockets and extended an elbow to Josie.

  Josie didn’t want to but she peeled herself from the wall, and linking an arm with her friend’s, said, “Here we go,” attempting to muster some much-needed courage, while her shoes turned to cement. And like a condemned prisoner, she strode forward to accept her sentence.

  * * * *

  Around the corner, they came face to face with the masses of parents, grandparents, and children milling around, many now making their way out to the parking lot. Amidst the throngs stood Trisha, Lydia, and Amy talking to John’s mother, Gloria. Trisha looked sexy but sophisticated in the tightest wool skirt Josie had ever seen—it looked like it had grown on her—and three-inch sleek boots. Josie looked down at her “rough hewn” attire, which now seemed rather passé in comparison, and sighed.

  Off to the side, Bobbie was chasing Beth and the twins around while Jack watched, probably wondering if he was too old to join the pursuit. Josie’s mom was trying, unsuccessfully, to rein them in.

  Just beyond, the men listened while Lanny talked loudly, telling a story and gesturing fervently. John stood with his hands on his hips, pushing his suit coat back, the slimness of his waist in apparent contrast with his muscular shoulders.

  Josie’s heart leapt. Regardless of the growing frigidity between them, she still regarded John as the most attractive man she’d ever seen. She felt a sudden urge to run to him, slide her arms beneath his jacket, and bury her face in his chest while he enveloped her body with his strong arms. She wanted him to protect her from the disapproving stares threatening to assault her already wounded core. But, as Lori’s hateful insults echoed once more through her mind, she knew that what she wished would never be anything more than a fantasy.

  Mustering one last encouraging smile, Gina said, “Give ’em hell,” as she released Josie’s arm and sent her forward on her own.

  “Momma!” Bobbie spotted Josie lingering at the corner and started running toward her, full speed ahead. “Did you see me?” He came to a skidding stop at her feet, wrapping his arms around her hips. Everyone turned their gaping eyes on them.

  “Was I the best banana ever?” Bobby grinned up at her, looking exhilarated after his first public performance.

  “You absolutely were! The best banana ever.” Josie’s face was tight and her voice sounded choked, but she managed to force a smile.

  “Right. Banana. Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Lydia’s sarcastic sneer was the first thing Josie saw when she looked up from Bobbie’s elated face.

  Josie’s smile dissipated as she returned Lydia’s mocking glare with a frosty look of her own.

  Trisha crossed her arms and said, “The video-agrapher let me take a look at the tape. Lucky for you, the image is pretty muddled. Still, I am going to have to think of how we can spin this if the press gets wind of it.”

  Glad to hear you’re on top of things. What else have you been on top of lately, my husband maybe? Josie wanted to snap Trisha’s skinny neck.

  Sensing the tension, Bobbie released his grip and backed away slowly before returning and joining the girls who were still running circles around the adults.

  “Now, now, ladies. I’m sure Jocelyn has a reasonable explanation for why the bananas looked…well, like they did,” Gloria interceded. Her manner was supportive but she was giving Josie that look. The look Southerners get when they’re thinking the worst about someone—something so awful they won’t dare say it out loud.

  Giving herself a moment to choose her words wisely, Josie let her gaze drift to Amy who’d kept quiet, her face pensive as she watched the drama unfold. But before she had a chance to say a word—

  “Well, there she is at last. Barbara and I’ve been waitin’ for you to make your appearance.” Lanny pushed his way between Gloria and Lydia. Holding his hand to the side of his mouth, he said, “Thought you might have given us the slip…you know, out the back,” he finished with raised brows and an exaggerated wink.

&
nbsp; How did he know I was planning to make a run for it?

  Barbara appeared at his side, an overly supportive smile on her face. “Everything was just wonderful, dear.” Then changing the subject quickly, she said, “Well, I’m beat. Lanny, honey, we’d better go or I’ll be no good to anybody come morning. Gotta rest up for the big trip.”

  “Yep. We old folks need our beauty sleep. See ya’ll in the morning—ten a.m.—bright and early,” he announced. Taking Barbara’s arm with one hand, he sent back a casual wave with the other.

  As the Montgomerys headed out, Andy stepped forward and took his turn at bantering Josie.

  “Nice job, sis. Can’t wait to see what’s on tap for next year. Just a suggestion, maybe you could include breasts—get more of the daddies out. You know what I’m saying.” His eyes flashed with amusement, and Josie decided he was enjoying this mishap a little too much.

  She gave him an uninterested stare. “Thanks for the tip,” she said and then noticed Patrick listening in. He was grinning humorously, or sympathetically, through his horned-rim glasses—Josie couldn’t tell which—maybe both.

  Andy clapped his hands together to get the twins’ attention. “Come on now, time to go.”

  John’s petulant stare swept over Josie. “Yeah—time to go.” His authoritative, teetering-on-irritated, voice chilled Josie to the bone and stopped the kids dead in their tracks.

  “’Night, Momma. ’Night, ladies.” He hugged Gloria and then nodded to Lydia, Trisha, and Amy before starting toward the door. In his wake, the kids obediently fell into line.

  Josie gave Gloria, Lydia, and Trisha one last baleful smile, and wishing that she had something smart to say—somehow “What are you lookin’ at?” didn’t seem sufficient—she hurried off after her family.

  As she passed her mom, Carol caught Josie by the arm, and with a look of concern, she smiled and said simply, “Ah…honey. What can I say?” before sending her out to catch up with John, and what was sure to be round two of her sentencing.

  * * * *

  Fog like a smoldering fire clung to the damp streets as droplets from the passing rain littered the windshield, obstructing John’s view. Of all the ridiculous screw-ups, how could she have let this happen? He gripped the steering wheel as if his last measure of control depended on it. Still, he could feel his anger mounting with every passing second.

  Up to this point, he’d been reluctant to believe his wife could in any way be trying to sabotage him. Except now, after what had occurred at the school tonight, his confidence was beginning to wane.

  He knew he was in no condition to discuss anything with her at the moment, but he needed to hear from her own lips how she could have allowed such a public ignominy to take place.

  After pulling the van into the garage, he turned to the back seat. “Jack, take your bother and sister into the house and start getting ready for bed. I need to talk to your momma alone for a minute or two.” He was looking his eldest son in the eye to let him know that this was not negotiable.

  Beth whined, “But, I don’t want Jack to. I want Momma.”

  John felt his temper rising with the severe words he knew would come next if the children didn’t comply. He exhaled loudly, giving himself a moment to steady.

  Josie turned to Beth and said, “Its okay, Baby. Momma’ll be right in. Now run along and don’t give Jack any trouble, you hear me?” Her voice quivered as she spoke gently to their daughter.

  Hesitantly, the children made their way out of the van and into the house. When Bobbie reached the door he looked back. John could see the worry in his son’s eyes, but his sympathy had been spent, he felt, months ago, on his wife.

  Deliberately, he removed the keys from the ignition and let them fall, still in his hand, to his lap. “What the hell happened tonight? Have you completely lost your mind?” John asked, unable to even look at her. “Please tell me you and Gina didn’t do that on purpose.”

  Josie stammered, “I, um, forgot to go back and well…of course not. Why does everyone think I would do that on purpose?”

  “Then you knew our son’s costume looked like a… And didn’t do a damn thing to fix it?” John was livid, and at the same time, regretful. “And, yes, I’m afraid I do think you might do something like that on purpose,” he finished, still unable to face her.

  “But I didn’t,” she asserted, and then added lightly, “although if I had, it actually might have been funny.”

  “Are you making jokes?” he asked, finally looking in her direction. He couldn’t believe she could be flippant at a time like this. “It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

  Josie’s eyes turned to stone. “Like you ever did,” she said hotly. “You don’t know me. After eleven years, you still don’t know anything about me.”

  He knew she was right. But is that my fault when she keeps so much about herself carefully guarded? His anger erupted. “Why didn’t you fix the costumes, Jocelyn?” he roared, feeling his voice reverberate through the van.

  Her face dropped as she recoiled. “I only noticed yesterday. I’m not the one who painted them.”

  Steeling his anger, he leveled his voice. “But you are the one who was responsible.”

  “There wasn’t any time with the fire and all…and today…the trip. God! Why do I have to explain this to you? You know what the last few days have been like.” Her words seemed to choke her. “Why couldn’t you just take-up for me? You just stood back and let your friends, your family…I’m your wife!”

  Like always, she was turning this back onto him. John dropped the keys to the van floor. “Yeah, you’re my wife all right,” he admitted, yanking the door handle so hard that he felt the van quiver under his might.

  After he got out, he turned and said, “And, a wife is careful not to do things that will embarrass her husband in the midst of his campaign!” He slammed the door shut. “I am done with this.”

  Fumbling to get out, Josie yelled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  John kept his back to her as he moved toward his own car. He couldn’t be certain himself what he was saying.

  “John?” she tried again.

  Turning deliberately, he knew one thing for sure. “Means that I’m sick and tired of cleaning up your messes,” he said, his voice resentful.

  “What messes?” Josie looked confused.

  “Your behavior, Jocelyn. I’m sick of having to make excuses for your behavior.”

  Josie’s eyes started to moisten. “John, we need to talk.”

  He wanted to believe her tears were evidence that she was telling him the truth, but he was still too angry to show her any compassion. And he knew he didn’t want to say something he’d later come to regret. Even with everything that had happened, he still loved her. She was his wife and he wanted to keep it that way. But for now, he just needed to focus on winning the election, then he could concentrate on salvaging what was left of his marriage.

  “I’m done talking for tonight.” He opened his car door and slid behind the wheel. He reversed the car away from her, then headed off toward someone who knew what he needed.

  * * * *

  Josie’s fists were balled so tight she could feel the sting of her nails digging into her palms. For the second night in a row she was watching John go away from her.

  “What a coward!” she wanted to scream, but didn’t.

  As John backed out of the garage, Josie fought the urge to grab the tools hanging on the wall behind her and start throwing them at his car. Stay here and fight like a man, you wuss!

  Watching as he continued down the driveway, she felt a sudden impulse to run after him and bang her fists on his car, screaming every obscenity known to man, letting the neighbors know what a bastard he really was.

  But again, she didn’t

  The neighbors weren’t the only ones who would hear. As always it was up to her to protect the children. And so she simply stood there and watched as the garage door slid down between them. Now,
alone in the garage, she couldn’t choke back her emotions any longer. Defeated and frustrated by her inaction, with tears streaming down her face, she asked herself, Who’s the wuss now?

  Chapter 5

  Before she could face the children, Josie stopped off at the powder bathroom. After splashing some water on her face, she dried it with a hand towel and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Her complexion looked ashen and dark circles had formed under the black streaks of her smeared mascara. To make matters worse, her eyes and lips were red and swollen from crying.

  She mumbled to herself, “What a mess you’ve become.”

  Releasing her hair from its ponytail, she fluffed it around her face, hoping to hide her appearance from the children.

  Beth was curled up on top of her covers with Puffer-Lee-Anderson tucked tightly under her chubby little arm. She was wearing mix-matched pajamas and her barrettes were still attached to her now matted hair. As Josie edged the blanket out from under her daughter, she heard Beth whisper, “’Night Momma—love you.”

  Josie felt her bottom lip start to quiver as tears accumulated in her swollen eyes again. “Love you too, Baby,” she said before tiptoeing out.

  Composing herself with a few breaths, she entered the boys’ room. Bobbie was on the bottom bunk turned to face the wall with Sampson curled up at his feet. Josie could see the dog’s long hair moving back and forth in unison with his lashes as he wondered if she planned to kick him out of his comfy spot.

  From the top bunk Jack whispered, “Momma. Is everything all right?”

  Josie moved closer and swallowed her emotions. “Yeah, little man. Things are just fine. Time to get some sleep.”

  “You and Daddy still leaving tomorrow?”

  “We sure are. I’m gonna miss ya’ll. I sure am.” The tears were pushing hard again, but Josie swallowed them back while she stepped up on the bottom bunk for height and kissed Jack on the forehead. And for the first time since hearing about the trip, Josie felt overcome with dismay at the thought of being away from her children.