The Woman He Married

by Ford, Julie

  “Have y’all decided what you want to do about Bobbie’s failing science grade?” she asked with that forced disingenuous teacher’s smile.

  John scanned his frazzled memory momentarily before realizing that this was the first time he’d heard anything about failing grades. Looking down at Bobbie, who’d suddenly fallen uncharacteristically silent, John didn’t want to appear out of touch with his family. “Yes. Of course, my wife and I have discussed it and…um…she’ll be getting back to you on that this week,” he said while making a mental note to ask Josie, “What the hell is going on?”

  Back in the van, John turned the key and said, “We’ll drop off the twins, home to change for basketball practice, karate and—”

  His planning was interrupted when one of the twins let loose a gut-wrenching belch followed by a cascade of partially-digested frozen desert. John pulled to the side of the road and wondered, Now just who the hell’s going to clean that up? When the other twin regurgitated her ice cream as well, he let his head fall to the steering wheel when he realized it was going to be him.

  How does Jocelyn do this? He finally understood what she’d sacrificed and endured all these years to raise his children.

  Becoming bright as the noonday sun, her comment about losing her sanity rang true.

  * * * *

  Curled up in a leather chair opposite Brian’s desk, Josie had discarded her pantyhose, suit jacket, and shoes. Why can’t I be taken seriously as a lawyer in jeans and a smart blouse? she wondered. Sipping her champagne absently, she was completely at a loss as to how her knowledge of children’s programming had saved a young man from prison. The programming change along with the seasonal time change, coupled with the fact that she had once turned the clocks back without noticing that John already changed them, led her to question whether or not the station owner’s wife had done the same. As it turned out, the clock was an hour behind, providing definitive proof of Sly’s innocence.

  Laughing to herself, Josie wondered what other valuable tidbits of information she had rattling around in her head leftover from her solo career as a wife and mother, which she planned on maintaining along with her new one—an ace defense attorney.

  After tying up all the loose ends at the courthouse, Josie, Brian, and Sandra had headed back to the office, where Brian ordered barbeque ribs, macaroni and cheese, and champagne. Toasting to their success, Josie was embarrassed that she couldn’t have claimed discovering some obscure history-making precedence, or savvy lawyering as the means to Slidell’s acquittal.

  Around seven in the evening Sandra headed out for a family commitment, leaving Josie and Brian sitting alone in his softly-lit office, toasting once more to their success.

  Brian raised his plastic bubbling cup to Josie. “We make a good team.”

  “We always have,” Josie agreed whole-heartedly.

  Brian turned somber in the quiet stillness of his usually-bustling office. “Why’d you do it, Josie? Why did you marry John?”

  Even though she knew that one day Brian was bound to ask, Josie continued to feel ill-prepared to answer. “Temporary insanity,” she said, stalling, giving herself more time to think.

  “That’s a legal defense, not a reason for marriage,” Brian came back.

  Damn! Thinking a moment longer, Josie didn’t know how to explain why she chose to marry John. Her relationship with Brian had been the perfect mix of love and partnership. He was open with his feelings, and considerate, and she and Brian had shared everything.

  John was the complete opposite. Drop-dead gorgeous and unbelievably charismatic, he’d always been guarded and mysterious, a challenge from the beginning. Josie had fallen hard and fast. She never imagined that he’d propose. Swept up in the moment, Josie had said ‘Yes’ without really taking the time to think it through. How could she possibly explain all this to Brian? She wanted him to know that she’d loved him even though she’d married John—that she still did.

  “Momma and Gina think I married John because he’s so much like the Judge. That I’m trying to reconcile past unresolved issues with my daddy through my marriage to John—or something like that.”

  “What do you think?” Brian persisted.

  “I think he was charming at first. He swept me off my feet.” Josie smiled, remembering how she couldn’t stand being away from him in the beginning—he was like some kind of drug she couldn’t live without.

  “But, then after we got married, he had these ideas of what a wife and mother should be. I’d never really given it much thought.” She’d assumed that marriage to John would be similar to her relationship with Brian. Shaking her head now, the memories of their whirlwind courtship replaced by the reality of what she’d inadvertently chosen as a life, she continued, “He wanted me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Suddenly my opinions didn’t matter anymore, or what I wanted. I don’t know, maybe they never did, to him at least.”

  “Why didn’t you leave? Come back to California…to us?”

  “Because I was afraid you wouldn’t want me back. Besides, I was pregnant and Daddy was so sick. My leaving again would have broken his heart—or so I thought.” Josie got up and moved over to the desk to pour herself some more champagne. “I wanted the Judge to be proud of me at least once before he died.”

  Turning back to Brian, she said, “I’m sorry about the way things happened, and that I didn’t talk to you first.” Josie set down her cup and crossed her arms. “Why don’t you hate me?”

  Without a word, Brian got to his feet, and reaching around Josie, he picked up the champagne bottle, before setting it back down. Josie watched him closely, but for some reason she couldn’t read his expression.

  “I do,” he said, eyes focused blankly on something in the distance.

  After worrying for years that Brian would never forgive her—should never forgive her—his words confirmed her fears at last. Holding her breath, Josie bit her lip as she regarded his cryptic expression a moment longer. When his face didn’t change, she decided the time had come for her to leave. As she backed away, Brain caught her around the waist and pulled her back.

  Looking into her eyes, he reached up and gently traced a line over her forehead, down the side of her face, and tenderly across her lips. Josie closed her eyes with his touch, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe. When she opened them again, Brian leaned in to kiss her, but stopping just before his lips touched hers, he hesitated, waiting, she thought, for her to meet him the rest of the way.

  Josie took just a moment to weigh her options before acting. For most women there are two kinds of men. The one she should marry and the one she does marry. For the lucky women, the man she should marry and the one she does marry, are one in the same. On the other hand, unlucky women find themselves married to…well, John. If said ill-fated woman got a second chance at “the one who got away,” should she take it?

  That answer would be different for every woman, but she responded with a definitive—Yes! Reaching up, and threading her fingers through Brian’s soft wavy hair, Josie pressed her lips to his.

  Brian kissed her softly at first. “I never should have left you that summer,” he said between each kiss. “I should have come home with you.”

  “No, it wasn’t your fault.” Josie savored the sweet taste of his lips against hers—the familiar scent of his skin. “It was mine. I must have lost my mind or something.”

  Brian slid his hands down her body, lightly grazing her breasts. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he murmured softly into her ear, “to kiss you, to hold you again.” He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

  Josie felt an inferno of passion welling up from her gut, sending her heart racing.

  “Then don’t stop,” she said, aching to feel his hands moving over her entire body.

  Brian moved his hands up under Josie’s blouse and stroked her back. The touch of his fingers on her bare skin sent a thrill through her senses. The heat produced a tear that
managed to escape when his kiss descended, and she felt the warmth of his body pressing against hers. No one kissed like Brian, not even John. She couldn’t believe that after all this time Brian still wanted her. Wrapping a leg around his hip, she pulled at his shirt. She yearned to feel his body next to hers once again.

  Footsteps in the hall put a halt to their fervor and instinctively they both jumped back. Gina! Josie had forgotten that she was working late on a divorce mediation and needed a ride home. Apparently, there was a last-minute dispute over a neon Budweiser clock and the whole proceeding had to go back to square one—for the third time. It’s amazing what people will hold on to when faced with the loss of a marriage they’d undoubtedly thought would last forever. Gina said she was staying late to finish up so she could be rid of these two once and for all. When Brian’s office door edged opened and Gina peeked around the corner, instantly her face turned to suspicion.

  Josie crossed her arms awkwardly over her disheveled, untucked blouse. Brian turned his back to Gina, wiping Josie’s lipstick from his mouth.

  “Are you about ready?” she asked, the gaze from her steel blue eyes piercing Josie, and then Brian.

  Josie stuttered, “Um, sure. Just let me, um…get my things.”

  “Okay, I just need to get my bag,” Gina answered, giving them one more skeptical look.

  When the door closed again, Brian and Josie regarded each other arbitrarily a moment before they both broke out laughing.

  “That reminded me of the time the Judge caught me leaving. Do you remember that?” Brian was laughing so hard he could hardly get the words out.

  “Yeah, but somehow being caught by Gina is so much worse,” Josie said, trying to stifle her laughter.

  “I tell you what…” Brian agreed, as he wrapped his arms around Josie once more. Dipping his lips to hers, he gave her another long, warm, knee-weakening kiss.

  “Come on, I’ll see you out,” he said as Josie struggled to catch her breath.

  * * * *

  Silence oozed from Gina as they walked to John’s car. Josie worried that Gina knew what she and Brian had been up to, and that she disapproved. With her laptop case in her outside hand, Josie could feel Brian’s knuckles lightly brush against hers, his fingers taking hold subtly as they walked through the dimly-lit parking lot. Josie allowed the hint of a smile to cross her face. Using the remote to unlock the car, she threw her purse and laptop into the back while Gina slid stoically in the passenger seat and closed the door, hard.

  Josie shut the back door and turning, she saw Brian watching her. His eyes were still twinkling passionately.

  “’Night, see you in the morning,” he said, giving her hand a subtle squeeze. Biting her lip, Josie watched him move away, wishing she could melt back into his arms and resume the kiss they’d started only minutes earlier.

  But abandoning her desire for now, Josie broke her gaze, opened the driver side door, and fell in. Her heart pounding against her ribcage, her blood flowing everywhere but to her brain, Josie fumbled with the key before experiencing trouble putting the car into gear and backing out.

  “Are you all right?” Gina asked.

  “Oh yeah—I’m great!” Josie answered with more zest than intended.

  Gina stared Josie down reprehensively as she awkwardly steered the car. Once Josie regained some sense of control and began to drive coherently, Gina started in, “Why are you smiling?”

  “I’m not.” Josie forced the edges of her mouth down.

  “You kissed him, didn’t you?”

  “No.”

  “You’re a liar. You’re a lousy, no good, ex-boyfriend-turned-boss-kissing liar.”

  Josie couldn’t contain her elation any longer and a large grin took shape on her face.

  “You and Brian aren’t kids anymore. I would think that the two of you could show a little restraint.”

  “What’s the big deal? You’ve said it yourself, that we were always meant to be together.” What’s Gina’s problem?

  “Right, you were the perfect couple. But that was a long time ago. Everything’s different now.”

  “What are you saying? That we shouldn’t—”

  Gina was adamant. “I think you should consider your situation.”

  “My situation?”

  “You have children and the last time I checked, a husband. Have you even stopped to think this through? Has Brian? How is this supposed to work exactly?” Gina stacked her questions accusingly.

  “I don’t know.” We just kissed, for Heaven’s sake, Josie thought, conveniently forgetting that she was ready to go much further. She couldn’t understand why Gina was freaking out.

  “See, this is exactly the kind of behavior that got Brian hurt eleven years ago. You never think before you…” Gina stopped talking and released a long breath, “…you jump into something.”

  Josie was aghast. “What? You think that I am going to stay with John. Don’t you?”

  “I don’t know and that is the point. Neither do you.”

  “Oh, I do!”

  “Really? ’Cause I haven’t seen any divorce papers. I haven’t even heard any more talk about it. Isn’t John living at your house again?” Gina crossed her arms in righteous indignation. “How long was he gone for? Two weeks?”

  “What’s your point?” Josie asked, suddenly feeling a twinge of guilt.

  “My point is that I don’t want to see Brian get hurt again,” Gina said, softening her tone. “And I don’t want to see you get hurt either.”

  Josie swallowed hard—she honestly didn’t know what to say.

  “Just slow down,” Gina said, sounding resigned. “When the divorce is final, then see where Brian fits in. Now isn’t the right time for either of you.” Eventially, Gina would have answered, “No,” to that second chance with the right man question.

  Driving in silence the next few miles to Gina’s house, Josie welcomed the quiet and used the time to think. What difference did it make if John was “back” home? He was outside in the guesthouse, so it wasn’t like they were sleeping in the same bed. How long was she supposed to wait before moving on with someone else? And, what was that about me jumping into things without thinking? When did I do that? Well, okay, I did jump into marriage. Then, in the Caribbean she’d slept with John and woke up the next day and asked him for a divorce before finding out why he’d finally chose to make love to her after all these months. Oh, and going back into a burning bus. Damn!

  Gina was probably right. The last thing Josie wanted was to hurt Brian again. Plus, rekindling a relationship would complicate her life considerably, which was the next last thing she needed right now.

  Reality sucks! she decided as she pulled up in front of Gina’s home.

  * * * *

  Josie looked at the clock on the dash as she pulled into the garage. Eight-thirty at night. How did it get so late? John was in the van with the vacuum running. Josie couldn’t imagine why he would be cleaning the van at this hour. Was it that dirty?

  John didn’t notice her so she headed into the house. In the kitchen, bags and food wrappers from three different fast food restaurants littered the island. Shaking her head, Josie started to ball them up and throw them into the trash.

  Flushed, no tie, shirt half un-tucked and…dirty, John came bounding into the kitchen.

  Ooh, what’s that on his shirt?

  Before he could speak Josie said, “What’s all this?”

  “Supper. The kids said they can’t all eat from the same place. I got something for you; it’s in the microwave.”

  “Oh, they can eat in the same place.” Josie gave John a you-should-know-better look. Then, perplexed, she asked, “You got something for me?”

  “Well, your ‘schedule’ left out that little detail and, yes. You hungry?”

  “No, I had something at the office,” Josie answered while wetting a sponge to wipe up the crumbs. “What’s up with the van?”

  Nonchalantly, John answered, “Oh, um, the twins thre
w up, but don’t worry, I got it all.”

  “You gave them ice-cream, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. Also not specified on the ‘schedule.’”

  “How long have they been your nieces?” Josie asked.

  “I don’t pay attention to such things.” John shrugged. “Let me ask you something. Did you have the mastitis…you know, when you were nursing?”

  “Yeah, with Jack and Bobbie,” she said, and stopped wiping long enough to eye John suspiciously.

  “How come you never said anything?”

  “I’m pretty sure I did. You just weren’t listening.”

  “So, you kept feeding them through the pain? The shooting needles, the burning?” He cringed and wrinkled his face empathically.

  “It’s just what you do.” Josie couldn’t imagine where he was going with this line of questioning.

  “Let me ask you something else.” Pausing for a moment, John pulled his fingers through his hair before saying, “Did I push you into having sex too soon after the kids were born?”

  Josie spun to face John. “Okay, what exactly was the topic of conversation at the dance studio today?”

  “Because if I did—well, I am sorry about that.”

  Josie didn’t know what to think about John, but The Invasion of the Body Snatchers kept popping into her mind. Waiting for Josie to answer, John looked genuinely contrite, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk about any aspect of their sex life right now.

  “I tell you what. If I’d known that you taking Beth to dance would be this life-altering, I’d have had you do it a long time ago,” Josie said, sweeping a pile of crumbs into her hand before dumping it into the sink. “So, I take it you won’t be volunteering to drive carpool anymore?”

  “No, I will. It was awful and…all right at the same time,” John said with a contented sigh.

  Josie laughed. “Looks like we finally uncovered your feminine side.”

  “Well, the ladies at dance did call me romantic and considerate.” John bounced his eyebrows for effect.