Lawless Love

by Rosanne Bittner

  Chano grinned. “You and I are not so different, Moses Tucker. Except that you are white—and free. And I therefore request one more thing in exchange for your woman.” He sobered, and his eyes filled with a sorrow that even Moss found himself sympathizing with.

  “If my woman is truly unharmed and well, I’ll do anything you ask, Chano. And I’ll be forever indebted to you.” He was struck by the fact that there actually seemed to be tears in the eyes of the wild Apache renegade. The man blinked and swallowed.

  “I am not a fool, Moses Tucker,” the man said in a strained voice. “There are only two roads now the Apache can travel. He must either live on a reservation—which is humiliating and unbearable—or he must live the life of a renegade, which only ends in starvation or death in battle. Either way, there is no future for the Apache among his own; yet most cannot hope to live in the white man’s world.”

  “I don’t get you, Chano.”

  Their eyes held.

  “I have a son who has no mother, and no future,” the man said quietly. “Your woman has taken a fondness to him, and he to her. And you are one of the few white men brave enough and strong enough to raise a son to be a man of courage and honor. There is nothing left for my son. Perhaps if you would take him…”

  Moss could not hide his surprise and near shock. Nothing was more important to an Apache man than his sons. To give one up could only mean he held Moss and Amanda both in the highest regard. This was a totally shocking and unexpected turn of events. He studied the terrible pain in Chano’s eyes, and his hatred of the man vanished.

  “You want me to take your son?”

  “His name is Lipan. He is only six summers, but he is good and already very brave. And he is quick to learn. Already your woman has taught him the white man’s letters, and he writes his name in the sand, like a white man writes his name. To lose him will be to tear out my heart, but to keep him with me—knowing the kind of future he will have—is worse.”

  Moss rubbed his chin and turned to look at his men.

  “That’s the craziest thing I ever heard, Moss,” Darrell spoke up. Moss looked back at Chano.

  Chano’s eyes were tired and desolate, the life seeming to have suddenly gone out of them. Moss tried to envision himself in the man’s place, picture Becky living the life little Lipan was living. And he remembered a time when Becky’s real mother had died and he himself was on his way to California to find a home for the child he loved but felt he could not care for. Then he’d met Amanda.

  “My wife?”

  “She is fond of the boy. And she has the wisdom and gentleness that he needs. She is not like other whites I have known. She has a love for all mankind.”

  Moss smiled lightly, blinking back tears and longing now more than ever to see her.

  “That she does,” he said quietly. “All right, Chano, I’ll take your boy—if I find Amanda is all right.”

  “I want him to be a man—to learn to hunt, and shoot, and fend for himself. I want him to be of courage, to be honest. You will teach him these things?”

  “I will.”

  “He must learn the white man’s tongue well—learn to write it and read it. He must learn to live among the whites, but he must also never, never forget that he is an Apache! And he must never be ashamed of what he is!”

  Moss put out his hand and they grasped wrists. “There is much to be proud of in being an Apache,” Moss told him as they held a firm grip. “He will not be ashamed. Nor will he be allowed to forget his father. He will understand how much his father loved him by doing this thing.”

  The Apache nodded. “Get on your horse. I will take you to your woman.”

  They rode the rest of the day, deeper into the confusing maze of rock formations surrounding White Mountain. Finally, darkness came upon them, and they had to make camp. Moss and Chano sat near a fire and talked well into the night, and Moss could see that there was far too much hatred and bitterness within the heart of the Apache leader for the man to ever go back to a reservation or accept white men. And he knew that even his own life still hung in a delicate balance at the hands of this renegade, whose temper often flared as they talked about the coming of the white man, and the deprivation of the Indian. It was the loss of freedom that hurt most of all. Chano could not understand why the white men seemed to think land was something that could be purchased and fenced. The land was put there by the Great Spirit, and filled with wild beasts for hunting and survival, and it was there for all to share. But the white man didn’t know how to share.

  “I do not want my son to lust after gold and land as the white man does. I want him to care, and to learn to share what he has.”

  “I understand,” Moss replied, smoking quietly and staring into the campfire flames. “I have to tell you, Chano, I own property myself. Some in Utah, and now some up in Wyoming. But I don’t lust after land like you’re talking. What I had in Utah—it’s just enough to get by on. The land in Wyoming, well, it’s a pretty big spread, and it was willed to me. But I don’t have no desire to take more. And Mandy, she’s not the type to care much about a lot of possessions herself. But it’s a real pretty spread up there, Chano. Lipan will live where there’s plenty of green grass, cool shade, enough water, and a fine house. I gotta tell you, I’ll make him work hard. A man with only one arm needs a lot of help.”

  “It is good that he works. It will make him strong, responsible. Will you share this land with others?”

  “The only thing on it that needs sharin’ is the water. Yes, I share the water with the nearby ranchers.”

  “Good. You are not selfish like the others.”

  Moss thought for a moment about Etta, realizing how poorly she would have fared with men like these Apache. And then he thought of Amanda, his heart racing wildly at the knowledge that sometime the next day he would see her! And he knew that sleep would not come easy to him that night.

  “Is she really all right, Chano?” he asked quietly.

  “She is well. She is thin, because we do not have much food to share. The first night there was much arguing among the other bucks and myself. They are all just as full of hatred as I. But it touched me when she said that her God had sent us. I saw the faith and trust in her eyes. And I convinced them that to abuse her would be to offend the Great Spirit. She was badly bruised and shaken—scratched and dirty. I allowed her to rest, put bear grease on her cuts. There are only three women with us now. One of them gave her a tunic to wear. She was very frightened the first few days, and then she came to trust us. And she and my son became fast friends. The things she teaches him—they interest him, excite him.”

  Moss took a long drag on his cigarette. “The, uh, white man you found with her. Did he rape her?”

  “Not the day we came. He was beating her—doing vile things to her—but he did not get the chance to put his man part in her. I do not know for certain if he had taken her before that. It is a question you must ask her yourself.”

  Moss closed his eyes and sighed. “Yeah,” he replied in a near whisper. “I couldn’t repay you enough, Chano, if I spent the rest of my life trying.”

  “You will spend the rest of your life trying. You will be raising my son.”

  They looked at each other and Moss smiled a little. “You want me to try to get word to you once in a while?”

  Chano lost his smile. “No. Once he is gone, it is better I never see him or hear about him again. It will be easier that way, for both of us.”

  “Does Lipan know what you plan to do?”

  “We have talked about it. He honors his father. He will do whatever I ask of him.”

  Moss rubbed his forehead. “I’m sorry, Chano. Sorry it has to be like this for the Apache. If it were up to me—”

  “You do not need to explain. If there were more like you, there would be peace among us.”

  Moss took another deep drag and tossed the cigarette into the campfire.

  “Why didn’t you try to get word to someone that she was ok
ay? You could have turned her over to the soldiers or something.”

  “And have them find us?”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s a pretty stupid idea.”

  “And there were no white men I could trust. How could I be sure white men I did not know would care for her and take her home? Perhaps they would treat her as the other one did. I decided the only man to whom I could give her was her own man. She kept saying you would come, so I believed her.” He glanced at Moss’s right arm. “But she said perhaps you would have no arms at all. She was much worried about that.”

  “Duncan must have told her what they did to me.” He looked at Chano. “She must have wondered if I was even alive.”

  “She did. I think she was afraid that if you did not come, she would never see her white world again—and perhaps she would not have.” He grinned a little. “I almost wished you were dead, Moses Tucker. Perhaps in time, as the affection between her and my son grew, she would have learned to have affection for me, also. She would make a good woman for Chano.”

  Their eyes held a moment. “She’s the best,” Moss replied.

  “It was not easy for me to be near her so much—to watch her with my son and not claim her for myself. But she would not have been willing. It was too soon. And I would not have wanted to hurt her. There was too much trust in her eyes.”

  Moss smiled. “Yeah, she does have a way of gettin’ to a man.”

  “Even an Apache,” Chano replied. Then he sobered again. “She tells me you have a daughter about Lipan’s age. She was very worried about the child and prayed for her often.”

  “Her name’s Becky. She’s okay now. She’s a damned pretty little thing. I fathered her by another woman before I met Amanda. Her ma was blonde, and Becky’s blonde. She’s got the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, and she kind of teases me with her eyes like her ma used to do.”

  “Your daughter and my son—they will grow up together. Perhaps one day there will be a little half-breed grandchild, no?”

  Moss’s eyebrows went up. “Who knows? Only thing I know is a strong, young Apache man couldn’t make a bad husband.”

  “If she grows up to be like your woman, she will be easy to love,” Chano told him.

  Moss nodded. How he missed her! “Yes, she’ll be easy to love if she’s anything like Mandy,” he answered, staring into the flames of their campfire.

  “We will sleep now,” Chano told him. “Tomorrow you will see your woman. It has been a long time, no?”

  Their eyes held in understanding. “Yeah. It’s been a long time.”

  “As it has for me. I think one day I will sneak down to that reservation and seduce a young Apache woman into coming here with me. It is lonely for a man without a woman.”

  Moss thought of his own men, and of himself before he’d met Amanda.

  “I know exactly what you mean, Chano.” He moved over and stretched out on his bedroll, filled with the luxurious knowledge that come the next night, he would not be sleeping alone. Nor would he ever again, if he could help it.

  They came upon a rise and looked down into what seemed another world. Below them was a valley, surprisingly green. A few tipis sat near a small stream, and they could hear a waterfall from further down the stream. Thick pines surrounded the valley, and it was a spot that Moss was certain no soldier had ever seen. He wasn’t even sure that he could find his way back out of the myriad of rocks and hills and mountains through which they had ridden to get to this spot.

  “I must have your word that you will tell no other white man about this place—the word of you and all your men.”

  “My men are as truthful as I am, Chano. No one will tell. I’ll make up a story as to how I found her. And I’ll figure out some way to explain the boy. When my wife explains how much she wants to keep him, I’m sure the authorities will allow it.”

  They headed the horses down a steep embankment, ducking under pine branches. They could barely be heard approaching, as their horses’ hooves padded against fallen pine needles.

  White men and Indians alike approached the small camp, and then he saw her! He was certain it was Amanda. She wore a tunic, and her long, brown hair was tied into two tails at her shoulders. She was squatting down near the stream, laughing with two other women and trying to catch a fish, and a little boy was in the stream trying to chase the fish toward the women.

  Moss stopped his horse and just stared a moment. The little boy screamed with delight, holding up a large bass in his bare hands, then handing it to Amanda. She squealed and dropped it when it wiggled, and the little boy put his hands to the sides of his face in exasperation. Amanda laughed. How good it sounded! She actually laughed! She picked up the little boy and swung him around, and it was then she saw them.

  Her laughter stopped, and she slowly put the little boy down. They stared at each other transfixed. The Tucker men also sat and stared, all in love at the same time.

  “Hell, she looks like an Apache squaw!” Pappy finally spoke up.

  “Ain’t she a sight!” Johnny said. He let out a war hoop, and Moss nudged his horse forward. Buck kept his face turned away from the others, not wanting them to see his tears.

  Moss rode closer, while the others hung back. She watched him, studied the handsome face and the lean body she had wondered if she would ever see again. Oh, how tired he looked! He came close to her now, and their eyes said it all. She knew he had not touched Etta Landers. He had been true to her after all. Words stuck in her throat, where a painful lump seemed to choke her. She swallowed, and her lower lip quivered.

  “I knew you’d come,” she whispered.

  “It’s a long story, baby. I have so much to tell you.”

  “Your…arm.” Tears streamed down her face. “Lloyd Duncan said…”

  He reached the arm down toward her. “Good as ever,” he told her.

  “Oh, Moss!” she whispered, her tears coming harder now. He bent down and swept her up onto the horse in one swift and powerful motion, and she sat sideways, curling up her knees and embracing him. His own tears flowed freely, as he breathed in the clean scent of her hair and held a hand to the small waist.

  “Mandy!” he whispered. She turned her face up to his, and each relished the taste of the other’s lips. Such a long time it had been! He released the long and hungry kiss and she kept her face nuzzled in his neck. “I’ll never leave you again, Mandy! Never!” he whispered.

  She kissed his neck and clung tightly to him.

  “Down the stream,” she whispered in his ear. “There’s a beautiful waterfall. We can be alone there. We can…talk. There’s so much to talk about, Moss!”

  “I know. I know all about Lipan. And I have things to tell you. I’m gonna take you to live in a grand house, Mandy! With real shiny wood floors—two stories high and six bedrooms for all them kids we’re gonna have! And real indoor plumbin’. And—”

  “Moss!” She leaned back slightly to look up into the handsome dark eyes. “What on earth—”

  Their eyes held. “I’ll explain it all later, baby. Let’s go find that waterfall.”

  She felt the lovely stirring in her groin.

  “The grass is soft there,” she told him. He grinned.

  “And we have some catchin’ up to do…on a lot of things.”

  “I’m all right, Moss. I’m okay. I still belong to you.”

  He kissed her lightly. “Let’s go put a seal on that, Mrs. Tucker.”

  “I think that’s a good idea, Mr. Tucker.”

  They rode off into the thick pines, headed downstream, and the lonely men watched in envy and joy. Sooner scratched his chin.

  “I don’t know about you boys, but I’ve got to get back north and find me an easy woman ’fore I go crazy.”

  They all snickered. “I’m with you,” Lonnie replied.

  Then they all tore their eyes from where Moss and Amanda disappeared into the trees and looked around at each other. Not an eye was dry.

  “I reckon most of us will be head
in’ back up to Wyoming eventually,” Buck put in. “Chances are somebody up there is gonna be needin’ some ranch hands, wouldn’t you say, boys?”

  Pappy grinned. “I expect so,” he replied. He wiped at his eyes with his shirt-sleeve. “Too much dust down here in Arizona. Gets in your eyes.”

  Also by Rosanne Bittner

  The Bride Series

  Tennessee Bride

  Texas Bride

  Oregon Bride

  Caress

  Comanche Sunset

  Heart’s Surrender

  In the Shadow of the Mountains

  Indian Summer

  Lawless Love

  Love’s Bounty

  Rapture’s Gold

  Shameless

  Sweet Mountain Magic

  Tame the Wild Wind

  Tender Betrayal

  The Forever Tree

  Unforgettable

  Until Tomorrow

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