Words Left Unsaid

by Missy Johnson

“I was thinking of you all day. I wanted you to know I was there for you, but I didn’t want to get in your way,” he asks, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He leans in and I close my eyes as our lips meet in soft, gentle kiss.

  I shrug and move into the kitchen, where I pull a bottle of soda out of the fridge. I hold it up and he nods, so I pour it into two glasses, sliding one across the counter to him.

  “I’m doing okay.” And I mean it. For the first time in days, I can see things clearly. I feel bad for how I felt toward him earlier when all he’s done is be there for me. I’m done looking back. From now on, I’m only going to look forward.

  “If you need time, that’s okay,” Max assures me. “Whatever you need, Kiara. If you want space, then that’s fine too. I can’t imagine what you’re going through…” His eyes darken as they focus on mine. He really would do anything for me.

  Taking a deep breath, I move toward him, taking his hand in mine. “I lost Aiden a long time ago, Max. I’ve had time.” I breathe in as he wraps his arms around my waist. “I’ll always love him, but I need to move on. I need to move on with you.”

  “That’s all I want too,” he whispers, lifting my lips to his.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Max

  Time is flying by, due to the end of the school year nearing and my workload tripling. Things with Kiara have been amazing. We still manage to see each other nearly every day, and I’ve been spending lots of time with her and Tilly together—which I love. Tilly’s a great kid who can bring out the sunshine in anything.

  It’s the last day of school and I’m still at the office. It’s going on seven o’clock, but I want to make sure I have no reason to come back until I have to. I intend on making the most of my holidays, and that plan doesn’t involve thinking about work for a second more than I have to.

  Sighing, I throw the last folder into my filing drawer and slam it shut. I’m done. Finally. Picking up my phone, I call Kiara. The sound of her voice makes my stomach flip. How does she do that to me every single time?

  “Hey you,” she says, her tone warm. “Tell me you’re not still at work?”

  “Just finished,” I smirk, tapping my fingers on my desk. “I’m thinking we need to celebrate. You, me, and Tilly, dinner in half an hour at La Mex?” I suggest, naming Tilly’s favorite restaurant of the moment.

  “Someone’s trying to earn some brownie points,” she teases. “We’ll see you there.”

  Hanging up, I grab my keys and walk over to the door, locking the office behind me. The school is empty apart from the cleaners, who nod at me as I walk past them in the hallway.

  Outside, I walk over to my car, unlocking it before sliding into the driver’s seat. I don’t really have enough time to go home first, so I just head in the direction of the restaurant. My phone rings, and I press answer on my hands-free, assuming it’s Kiara. But it’s not. I’m surprised to hear my brother’s voice.

  “Hey,” I say, swinging the car onto the road. There’s an unusual amount of traffic, even for seven on a Friday night. “How’s things?”

  “Good, man,” Will says, his voice cheerful. “Sorry to bother you, I was just wondering what your plans are for summer? It’s Macie’s tenth birthday, and I know she’d love it if you came to her party.”

  “Sure,” I find myself saying. I was planning to go up there for a few days, anyway. “It’s next month, right?” I ask. Or is it August? My face heats up. What kind of uncle doesn’t remember his niece’s birthdate?

  “July 20th,” he chuckles. “Plenty of room here for you to stay. Even if you can only come for a day or two.”

  “Okay, count me in. Thanks for the invite,” I say.

  As I end the call, I’m feeling good about getting things back on track with Will, and no doubt my parents will be there too. I can kill two birds with one stone and get my annual visit with them out of the way.

  By the time I weave my way through the traffic to the restaurant, I’m barely running on time. As I pull into the nearest parking space, I spot Kiara. She’s walking as Tilly skips beside her, her blonde hair flying everywhere. As I get out of my car, I call out to them. Kiara turns, and waves when she sees me.

  “Hey,” she grins, waiting for me to catch up.

  Tilly looks up at me, her eyes narrowed as she studies my face, probably wondering why I’m joining them for dinner.

  “Hey, Tilly,” I say. “I chose this place because I know you like it.”

  Her face breaks into a smile as her eyes light up.

  “I’m gonna have all the tacos,” she declares, loudly enough for the whole parking lot to hear. I chuckle and rest my hand on the curve of Kiara’s back as Tilly skips ahead of us to the entrance. That was easy.

  “Wow, it’s busy tonight,” Kiara comments as we walk through the front doors and into the bustling restaurant.

  “Yeah,” I mutter, not expecting such a crowd. “I hope I didn’t need to make a reservation.” I can just imagine how inconsolable Tilly would be if tacos for dinner was off the menu. Oh well, there’s always Sergio’s truck.

  We’re lucky enough to score a table without too much of a wait. After we’re seated we order enough to feed us for a week and less than ten minutes later, the waitress carries our trays of food over. Tilly’s eyes grow wide as she reaches for a taco and puts it on her plate. She reaches for another, but Kiara stops her.

  “Finish that one first,” she says. Tilly sighs, but gets to work on taco number one.

  “I’m going to go up and see Will in a few weeks,” I say, throwing the last of my taco into my mouth. “For my nieces birthday.”

  “That’s great,” Kiara says, her eyes sparkling. “Say hi to him from me. I’m still so grateful for all he did for me.”

  “You could say hi yourself?” I suggest. “Why don’t you both come with me?”

  “Maybe we will,” she says. “Would you like to go to the beach, Till?”

  Tilly’s eyes light up. “Yeah!”

  “Good, then it’s settled. So, what are your plans this weekend?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “I think we need some girly time, don’t we, Till?” She says. Tilly nods, her eyes bright as she reaches for her second taco. I chuckle at how much such a small girl can eat.

  “We’re going shopping and then we’re going to have a picnic in the park, and then we’re going to paint our nails and then watch movies all night,” Tilly explains excitedly.

  “Sounds fun,” I say, making a face. Kiara pokes her tongue out at me and I laugh, but inside I’m disappointed at the prospect of not seeing her all weekend.

  Several tacos later, we’ve all eaten too much and we’re regretting it. Except for Tilly, who’s trying to convince Kiara to let her try for taco number four. I pay the bill as Kiara carries a screaming Tilly out to the car. It’s way past her bedtime, and it shows in her behavior. She’s already asleep before Kiara even finishes buckling her in. Carefully, she closes the door, letting out a sigh of relief.

  “That was fun,” she says, turning around to face me. “Well, apart from the bit where I had to wrangle a screaming child from the premises.”

  I slide my arm around her waist and tug her against me. Our eyes lock. My hand resting on the curve of her neck, I tilt her face upward, pressing my lips against hers. She sighs, a smile moving across her lips.

  “So, I guess I’ll see you Monday,” I murmur. I hate the idea of not seeing her, even for a couple of nights but I don’t want her knowing that.

  Her lips meet mine again. “You sure you can handle being away from me?” she teases, biting her lip. I narrow my eyes and she laughs.

  “Sure I can, the question is, can you handle not seeing me?” I retort.

  To support my point, I kiss her again, but this time I don’t hold back. My fingers rake through her long, dark hair, our tongues meshing together as my mouth ravishes hers. She breathes heavily as I pull away, her lips slightly parted as she catches her breath.

  “It’s a
couple of days,” she grins once she’s regained her composure. “I think I’ve got this.”

  ***

  It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting on the sofa watching reruns of House of Cards. I’m bored. I’ve been checking my phone hoping for a message or missed call from Kiara, but there’s nothing. I’ve gone to text her numerous times, but I don’t want to impede of her time with Tilly. That and I want to prove to myself I can go a few days without seeing her, especially when I’m sure she thinks I’m going to cave.

  Only it’s proving to not be that easy.

  I call Will in an attempt to distract myself, to let him know Kiara and Tilly might be coming with me next month. I’m sprawled out on the sofa with both Lance and Mr. Scruffy lazing on top of me. I scratch the cat under the chin as he purrs happily. I’m getting used to this have a cat thing.

  “No dramas, there’s plenty of room,” he says, when I tell him. “How is Kiara by the way?”

  “She’s good.” I pause, not sure if he knows about Aiden. “Her fiancé died, did I tell you that?”

  “Kait mentioned it. That sucks, but I suppose it gives her some closure, right?” He pauses, as if lost in thought. “Are you two…?”

  “We’re good at the moment,” I say. “These last few weeks things have been really good. I really like her,” I admit.

  “Do you love her?”

  I don’t even have to think about it before I answer. “I do love her.”

  “Then don’t let her get away,” Will advises.

  He’s right. I can’t fuck this up.

  “I gotta go, man, but I’ll call you soon, okay?” I say. I hang up and right away I call Grant. An idea is shaping in my head, but I can’t pull it off alone.

  “Dude, can you guys look after Tilly tomorrow night?” I say when he answers the call. “I want to surprise Kiara with dinner.”

  “Sure thing,” he replies. “Miss her that much, huh? After one day? You’re so whipped,” he chuckles and I laugh.

  “And another thing, I need Ellie to get Kiara dressed up and ready for me to pick her up at seven.”

  “What are you planning, man?” Grant asks suspiciously. “Tell me you’re not…You are, aren’t you?” he accuses me. “I’m your best friend, dude. You can’t propose and not tell me. That’s bad form.”

  “I’m not saying anything,” I laugh. “Mainly because you tell your wife everything, and your wife has a big mouth.”

  “Yeah, okay, I’ll give you that,” he agrees begrudgingly. “Fine, keep me in the dark. I’ll still help you out because that’s what friends do and I’m a true friend.”

  “Thanks, I knew I could count on you,” I chuckle, ignoring his attempt at guilt tripping me. I hang up before he can ask anymore questions and call La’Coste, one of the nicest Italian restaurants in Chicago to make a reservation.

  ***

  I drag myself out of bed just after eight. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, barely managing a few hours sleep. All I could think of is what the fuck am I doing. This is either the best idea in the world or one I’ll never live down.

  After breakfast, I make the hour drive to central Chicago. If there is one thing I don’t want to be caught looking at in town, it’s engagement rings. Rumors spread like wildfire around here and I’m nervous enough as it is.

  Shopping is probably the thing I least enjoy doing, and looking for an engagement ring makes the experience a thousand times worse. I’m expecting this to take all day, but to my surprise, I find the ring in the third store I go into. A large solitaire diamond set in white gold, I know it’s perfect for her. I take it, not even bothering to look at the price tag as I hand over my credit card.

  The nerves begin to creep in as I drive back home. Having the ring in my possession and everything planned is beginning to freak me out, and all the doubts are beginning to creep in. My last engagement didn’t exactly end well, what if this is no different?

  Maybe it’s too soon? Maybe all I’m doing is messing up a good thing?

  My stomach lurches at the thought.

  At seven, I arrive at her house. The ring is safely in my pocket, but I find myself running my hands over it again and again to check it’s there. She opens the door and my heart jumps. Fuck, she looks gorgeous. She’s wearing a red flowy dress cut just above the knee with delicate straps that highlight her shoulders. Her hair is down, loose waves of copper falling down her back.

  “You look beautiful,” I say, my voice catching in my throat.

  She smiles. “You look pretty good yourself.” I glance down at my dressy pants and charcoal shirt and shrug. I scrub up okay. “Can you tell me what this is all about now?” she giggles.

  “I missed you, that’s all,” I say. Stepping forward, I tilt her head and press my lips against hers, the reality of what I’m about to do hitting me.

  “So why not ask me out? Why all the secrecy with having Grant do all this?” she shakes her head, her eyes sparkling.

  “Because I wanted to keep you guessing,” I say. I didn’t think this part through. Of course she’s going to be wondering what the hell I’m up to. She has to suspect something. Fuck, I should’ve just asked her out myself.

  “Okay. If you say so,” she replies, eyeing me suspiciously.

  “We better get going,” I say, desperate to escape how awkward this feels. I take her hand in mine. She smiles and reaches behind her for her purse, which sits on the hall table.

  The drive to the restaurant is quiet, but not awkward. Comfortable. We enjoy each others company enough that silence doesn’t automatically mean a bad thing. Every now and then I glance over at her and I choke up.

  Holy fucking shit. I’m asking this girl to marry me.

  I struggle to concentrate through dinner and she notices. Her brow creases as she studies me, as if she’s trying to figure out what’s wrong.

  “Is everything okay?” she asks. “Your very quiet. Did something happen with your brother?”

  “No, it was great seeing them,” I say. “I’m fine, I just missed you I guess.” I reach for her hand across the table. “Want to take a walk by the lake?” I suggest. My heart pounds, as the moment creeps closer. The moment I ask her to marry me.

  “Sounds nice,” she says, her lips curving into a grin.

  We leave the restaurant and walk down the path that leads to Pattison Lake. This is it. It’s now or never. My hand shakes as I reach into my pocket, my fingers closing over the ring box. I slow to a stop just as the rain begins to fall. Kiara turns to see why and slowly I kneel down on one knee.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, her hand flying to her mouth. My heart pounds as I wonder if I’m making a huge mistake. What if I’m rushing this? She’s just buried her fiancé, for God’s sake. What was I thinking?

  But it’s too late now for me not to go through with it. I reach into the box and produce the ring, convinced she’s going to turn me down.

  “I know this might feel like it’s come out of nowhere, but trust me, Kiara, it hasn’t.” I clear my throat before continuing. “You’re the light of my life. You make me want to live life to the fullest. I look at what you’ve been through and I’m in awe of your strength.”

  “Max…” she whispers.

  I hold up my hand, stopping her. “Let me finish,” I mumble, brushing the hair from my eyes. “I love you so much, and I can’t imagine life without you and Tilly. I know there’s a good chance you’re going to say no, but fuck it. I’ve come this far.”

  She lets out a laugh, her bright eyes twinkling as I balance the ring on my pointer finger.

  “Kiara Rose Wilson, will you marry me?”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Kiara

  I bite my lip. I can’t believe this is happening. How did I not see this coming? As I run over the signs in my head, I remember that Max is standing before me, on one knee, in the pouring rain, waiting for me to answer.

  “Yes,” I grin.

  His face lights up. “Yes?” he re
peats, shocked.

  I laugh again. He really did think I’d say no. I reach for his hand and watch as he slides the ring onto my finger. The diamond sparkles against the glistening of the rain and I can’t wipe the smile off my face.

  “I may have only known you a few months, but I’ve been watching life pass me by for years. I’m ready to live,” I whisper.

  He stands up and throws his arms around my neck, indulging me in a deep, lingering kiss. Our mouths part, but only for a moment. I pull him toward me and kiss him again, never wanting to let him go.

  “This is one of the happiest days of my life,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his. “Thank you for being you.”

  “Thank you for saying yes,” he chuckles. “Now, if you don’t have any objections, I’d like to take you home, fuck you senseless and then not let you leave my sights for the next day or two.

  Rubbing my lips together, I smile, my body tingling at the thought.

  “As wonderful as that sounds,” she giggles, wrapping her arms around my neck, “you’ll have to limit the fucking and snuggling to tonight. Tomorrow, I need to tell Tilly about us.”

  “I guess I can agree to that,” he mutters. I shriek as he lifts me into his arms and carries me back up the path to his car, stopping every few steps to kiss me passionately. Laughing, I wipe tears from my eyes. This guy is crazy, stupid and I love him so fucking much. This has been one of the best nights of my life. I feel blessed to have found him. Some people never get to experience real love.

  I’ve been lucky enough to have found it twice.

  ***

  The next morning, as much as I don’t want to, we drag ourselves out of bed. I need to speak to Tilly and the longer I leave, it the sicker I feel. It’s just after noon by the time we arrive at Ellie and Grant’s. Max parks the car and waits as I finish the conversation with my mom, who had called on the drive over to check up on me.

  “I’m so happy for you, Honey,” Mom says, in between tears. “He’s a good catch. I can tell from how Ellie speaks about him how much he loves you, and you deserve all the love in the world.”