Darling Jenny

by Janet Dailey

  His eyes locked with hers with such an intense intimacy in his gaze that she felt he had slipped into her thoughts and seen what her imagination had conjured up. She managed to break the spell and hide the rosy blush that had begun to steal into her face, with a flurry of activity, gathering plates and passing out the dessert.

  'I forgot to tell you, Jenny,' Logan said with a mock seriousness. 'We got roped into a game of Chinese Checkers.'

  'Girlth againth the boyth,' Cindy inserted quickly.

  'How did "we" manage to do that?' Jennifer laughed.

  'It was easy,' said Eric. 'I dared him.'

  'And I double-dared him,' Cindy joined in,

  'So you see.' Logan tilted his head in resignation. 'What could I do?'

  'Exactly!' Eric agreed enthusiastically.

  'Hmm. What would happen if I double-dared all of you to do the dishes?' Jennifer glanced around the table at the horrified looks of astonishment on Eric's and Cindy's faces.

  'It doesn't work for that,' Eric gulped.

  'I think it works for stacking dishes,' Logan stated. 'Otherwise Jenny might not think that double-dare was any good for Chinese Checkers.'

  With a speed previously unheard-of when it came to household chores, the two children had the dishes scraped and stacked and the game spread out on the kitchen table.

  After two games, with each side winning one, Jennifer looked up to the kitchen clock and announced that it was bedtime. The grumblings and pleadings were swept aside when Logan announced that if they were ready for bed in ten minutes, he'd read them a story.

  Standing over the kitchen sink, her hands immersed in dishwater, Jennifer listened to the rhythmic sound of Logan's voice as he read to the two children in the other room. As she placed the last pan on the draining-board, an overwhelming tiredness engulfed her. The utter futility of trying to believe that this evening could ever be repeated in the future drained what happiness she had felt. The almost sinful guilt of wanting what belonged to her sister rested heavily on her shoulders. She should be the one lying in that hospital bed, not Sheila. If only the accident had happened to her! Two lonely, solitary tears rolled slowly down her cheeks.

  'It's been a long day for you, hasn't it, Jenny Glenn?' Logan stood by the counter stating down at her, his gaze so tender and compassionate that the two tears Jennifer had wiped so quickly away at the sound of his voice were replaced by two more.

  If he hadn't spoken her name in that gentle caressing tone, she might have been able to resist him when he drew her into his arms. Instead Jennifer went meekly, his arms firmly encircling her, holding her close against his chest. Although she wanted to cry buckets of tears, the ache was too deep and painful. She stilled the wild singing of her heart, forbidding it to become enamoured by the possessive touch of his hand on her head or the rock-hardness of his muscles. But in her imagination she felt the erratic pulse of his heart matching hers. Then a familiar shape made itself felt to her hand as it rested on his chest. The jutting square burned her fingers as she slowly disengaged herself from his embrace. She shivered momentarily, not just because she had left the warmth of his arms, but because of the engagement ring still in his pocket.

  'You'll want to see Sheila yet tonight,' wishing the huskiness didn't betray her jumbled emotions so blatantly.

  'It's already after visiting hours, but I'm sure I'll be able to stop in for a few minutes,' Logan agreed, studying her intently as he spoke.

  'I shouldn't have let the children talk you into staying.'

  'They didn't,' Logan corrected her. He stepped towards her, but halted when Jennifer moved involuntarily away. 'You need a good night's rest.'

  'Thanks for telling me how great I look' Jennifer thought bitterly before chiding herself for the unwarranted criticism.

  'I'll pick you up in the morning around nine-thirty. We can be at the hospital when the doctor makes his rounds.'

  Jennifer nodded that she would be ready.

  'You will call me tonight, if you need anything?' His question was sharp and rebuking. 'I'll be staying at my mother's. Her number is listed there by the phone.'

  She agreed, assuring him politely that there would be no need for her to call, that everything was fine. Logan left, almost reluctantly, Jennifer thought, then laughed at the idea. He probably could hardly wait to get to the hospital.

  Dressing for bed, Jennifer thought sleep would surely be denied her, but the tension, anxiety, and strain of the day had tired her more than she realized. Within minutes after her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.

  Chapter Ten

  MRS. TAYLOR, Logan's mother, was in the waiting room when Logan and Jennifer left Sheila the next morning. Her sister had been in very gay spirits, laughing at her accident and generally impressing the doctor with assurances that she was very much better. There had been no ring on her finger which made Jennifer decide that Logan wanted to wait until she was out of hospital, and the ring could be given with a bit more ceremony. She was glad she hadn't to carry on much conversation with her sister, except to answer questions about the children. Jennifer hated the jealousy that had consumed her each time she watched Logan and Sheila together. Her surprise at seeing Logan's mother was quickly hidden. After all, Sheila was her future daughter-in-law.

  'I have something I want to talk over with you, Jenny,' said Logan, ushering her over to a chair next to his mother. 'I discussed it with Mother last night, and she's in favour of it, so I brought her along for moral support.'

  Jennifer frowned, 'What is it?'

  Logan took a deep breath, glanced almost apprehensively at his mother before he began.

  'Doctor March said that he would be releasing Sheila tomorrow. She'll probably be in considerable pain the first few days which, whether she would admit it or not, would make her a little short-tempered with the children.' Logan paused, examining Jennifer's face for her reaction. 'I suggested that Cindy and Eric stay with the Jeffries for a week.'

  'I think that's a good idea.' Jennifer was puzzled by his attempt to handle such a suggestion so delicately.

  'That's not all. I have to go back to the ranch. There are some things there I have to attend to personally. Knowing Sheila as I do, I know she's going to be concerned about the Lodge, because it's for sure she won't be able to work for at least a week. If she stays here in town, the temptation is going to be too great to keep her from going down there. I want her to convalesce at the ranch for a week.'

  'I see.' Jennifer hesitated. She could tell there was more to it than that. 'I don't know why she wouldn't agree. I could work down at the Lodge in her place.'

  'No.' His mouth tightened at her suggestion. 'Mother can take care of the Lodge. She ran it for a good many years, and she'd enjoy taking over the reins for a week. No, you'll come to the ranch with Sheila.'

  'What!' Jennifer stared first at Logan, then at his mother. He couldn't possibly mean it!

  'It's the only thing to do, dear,' Mrs. Taylor spoke up. 'It just wouldn't be right for your sister to spend a week there, all alone with Logan. But if you were there—well, the two of you together would sort of chaperone each other.'

  'That's impossible!' Jennifer cried, jumping out of her chair, her hands twisting together nervously. 'Sheila can stay at the house. I can look after her there and make sure she doesn't go wandering off to the Lodge.'

  'It wouldn't work,' Logan said sharply. 'You know how headstrong she is. She'd have you talked into taking her there for therapy before two days had gone by. No, the solution is the ranch.'

  'I won't go!' Jennifer declared, her eyes blazing defiantly into his.

  'You will!' Logan reached out and captured her wrist in a fierce and bruising grip. There was a savage ruthlessness in his expression as he twisted her closer to him. 'You will go because she's your sister, and right now she needs you, a member of her own family. Go home, pack clothes for both of you, and I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at eleven o'clock sharp. And so help me, Jenny, you'd better be there waiting fo
r me!'

  With that, her wrist was released and Logan walked arrogantly away. When Jennifer turned towards Mrs. Taylor, she knew her breathing was ragged and her face flushed.

  'I must apologize for my son,' Mrs. Taylor said softly, an indulgent smile on her face. 'I'm sure he didn't mean to get so sharp with you. I'm afraid he takes after his father a bit when it comes to that temper of his. Once my Rob decided on something, he'd fly into a rage if his plans were thwarted.'

  "I don't understand why it's so important…' Jennifer stopped before the sobbing in her heart moved to her voice.

  'Jenny—' Mrs. Taylor hesitated. 'Our ranch is very beautiful and peaceful. It would be the perfect place for Sheila to rest and relax. I can't help but feel you would like our home very much.'

  'I'm sure I would,' Jennifer agreed, adding silently to herself that anywhere Logan was would be beautiful.

  'Won't you please agree to go with your sister? I'm sure she wouldn't understand your reluctance to go with her.'

  Jennifer's eyes flashed sharply at Amanda Taylor, sensing there was more meaning in her cryptic statement, that perhaps she had guessed Jennifer's true feelings towards Logan. But the twinkling brown eyes smiled innocently back at her.

  'You can tell Logan I'll be ready at eleven. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do between now and then.' She realized her voice was bitter and just slightly sarcastic, but Jennifer had lost another battle with Logan Taylor. Now she needed to re-group in private so that she could face the week ahead with some degree of dignity in order to prevent the final humiliation of Logan discovering her love for him.

  Jennifer added another log to the fire already blazing cheerfully away in the fireplace. Mrs. Taylor had been right; she had fallen in love with the ranch at first sight. It was nestled snugly on the lee side of a mountain, a sturdy row of pines sheltering the buildings from the winter winds. The rustic barns, stables, and outbuildings were surrounded by a picturesque buckrail fence. But it was the house that had called to her, saying, 'This is home.' It wasn't rambling and grand, or white and elegant. Its two-story roof was steep to shed the heavy snows, and there was a wide screened porch on the side to watch the evening sunset. The walls were stained native wood, strong and thick and promising shelter from the cold winds. Perhaps it was the way the sun had reflected off the windows that had given Jennifer such an overwhelming feeling of being welcomed home.

  Logan had explained, once he had brought them inside the house, that the upstairs was now closed off in the winters, as well as the dining room and parlour. A simple matter of heat conservation, he had said, in spite of the installation of central heating. But Jennifer hadn't minded, not when she had the cosy panelled living room with the large stone fireplace to sit in front of all day. The meals were taken in the kitchen, except for Sheila who was restricted to the large master bedroom the first two days. Logan had seen to it there was a day bed in the bedroom so that Sheila wouldn't have to take the risk of having her foot bumped sharing the big double bed with Jennifer. Logan slept in the little room off the kitchen that had been used by the housekeeper in former days.

  All in all, it hadn't been as difficult as Jennifer had imagined it would be. Logan was gone from dawn to dusk. The first morning the sound of dishes in the kitchen had wakened her and the later slamming of the door had confirmed that he was up and gone. The evenings he spent in the house, sharing a meal with Jennifer across the kitchen table. That could have been so intimate except for his indifference. No, it wasn't really indifference so much as lack of interest. And that, Jennifer found, was something she could bear. After dinner, Logan went in to see Sheila while Jennifer occupied herself with dishes and later television. They could have been two strangers merely sharing the same roof.

  But Jennifer had found a way to dull the pain of being so near to him, yet so far away. She could take care of his home, cook his meals, including breakfast, and do all the little things that a wife would do. There had been times, especially when Logan was with Sheila, that the old jealousy and longing would steal back on her, but she managed to remain composed when his brown eyes met hers, or even gay and happy when she was with Sheila. She really felt she deserved an award for hiding her torment so well.

  The big Black Forest cuckoo clock called out to her twice and she straightened up from her kneeling place by the fire, smoothing her blue jeans as she rose. Through the open doorway to the bedroom, Jennifer could hear her sister's voice, evidently still on the telephone with Dirk, who had called at least twice a day since they had arrived. Sheila hadn't seemed to object either, accepting the calls with a calmness that surprised Jennifer.

  She sighed heavily before making her way into the kitchen. Baking a cake for dessert that night would at least take her mind away from her unhappy thoughts. The sound of footsteps in the snow followed by the banging of the back door halted her. Logan was standing outside, a large black object cradled in his arms.

  'Get me some of those big terry towels out of the linen closet,' he said briskly as she opened the door and let him in.

  One look at the lifeless baby calf sent Jennifer scurrying to carry out his order. He had taken the calf in by the fireplace when she returned. Taking one of the towels from her hand, he began rubbing the black body roughly.

  'What happened?' Jennifer asked as she knelt down beside him.

  'He was born out of season. His mother just abandoned him,' Logan replied. 'Warm some milk up for him. There's some bottles in the lower right-hand cupboard by the sink you can put it in.'

  In minutes she had the milk scalded, poured in the bottle, found the black nursing nipple in one of the drawers and was back in the living room. At the last minute she had dipped one of the towels in the milk and brought that in as well. As weak as the calf was, it just might take some persuasion to start him nursing. Logan's brief glance of appreciation let her know that her years on her parents' farm hadn't been a total loss.

  He signalled her to go ahead with the feeding while he continued to massage the calf to get the circulation going in his nearly frozen body. Jennifer had to force its mouth open, letting the milk-soaked rag trickle its life-giving force down its throat. At last his feeble suckings allowed her to switch to the bottle. Between the warmth of the fire, Logan's rubbing, and now the warm milk entering his stomach, the little black calf began to show signs of life, weakly butting his head forward in a pathetic effort to get more milk out of the bottle.

  At this small but promising attempt, Jennifer glanced at Logan. His smile of shared triumph stopped her heartbeat for a second before it took off again at a hammering pace.

  'I didn't think he'd make it,' Logan said with a dubious but happy shake of his head. 'How the coyotes missed him I'll never know.'

  'I'm glad they did,' Jennifer said softly, lowering her gaze to the little black head that was now resting comfortably on her knees, his hunger satisfied. 'Will he make it now?'

  'He has a good chance. We'll let him sleep here by the fire and feed him again later. How about some coffee for us?'

  'Of course.' Jennifer rose quickly before the magic of his smile captured her again.

  When she returned to the room with the coffee, she found Logan gone. The voices in the bedroom remonstrated her for grasping at a few minutes alone with Logan. She placed his cup on the table and curled up on the floor by the fireplace. Logan returned to find her fondling the black head of the calf that peeped out of the towels swaddling his spindly body. For the first time since Jennifer had been in his home, she knew a desire to flee from him, to escape the sudden virility that surrounded her. But she merely sat gazing into the flames, forcing the fragile glass nerves to deny their knowledge of his presence on the couch.

  'I was just suggesting to Sheila that tomorrow afternoon would be a good time for you to take a ride around the ranch,' said Logan, breaking the silence that had begun to press down on Jennifer.

  'Thank you, but I think I'll pass,' Jennifer replied in a tightly controlled voice.
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br />   'I assure you I've got a gentle horse that would suit you perfectly.' She could tell he was smiling, but she didn't turn to meet his eyes. 'Because I'd be there to make sure that she doesn't run away with you.'

  'Oh, I can ride quiet well, even though I'm probably a little rusty. I just don't like the idea of leaving Sheila alone. '

  'She won't be alone.' Logan said quietly. 'Dirk will be here.'

  Although he spoke calmly enough, Jennifer couldn't stop herself from inspecting his face. She couldn't imagine him allowing Sheila to be with Dirk all alone, not as possessive as Logan was.

  As if he could read her thoughts, he added, 'They have some things to discuss that would be better done in private.'

  'Oh.' A very inadequate comment considering the fact that Sheila was undoubtedly going to tell Dirk of her decision to marry Logan. Another reason why the ring was not yet on her finger. She should have realized that her sister was too sensitive to let Dirk down so abruptly. 'In that case,' Jennifer said hesitantly, 'I'll be happy to go with you tomorrow.'

  'If that's settled then I'd better get back to work.' And he was gone. The following afternoon Logan was the perfect host. And Jennifer, after experiencing initial strangeness astride her horse, gradually relaxed and enjoyed the ride. The air was brisk and invigorating while the sun's rays cast a patchwork quilt of lightness from the partly cloudy sky. Although Logan was slightly distant, there was none of the abstractedness Jennifer had expected since Dirk was alone at the house with Logan's fiancée. He had been politely friendly, showing her the workings of the ranch, explaining, when she had questioned him about the picturesque buckrail fence, that its use was strictly utilitarian because of the few inches of sandy soil that rested on the surface of solid rock.

  As they cantered back to within sight of the house, Dirk's car was just pulling away. Jennifer covertly inspected the thoughtful expression on Logan's face. She was struck by the ruggedness of his profile under the Stetson hat. The virile good looks were still there along with the engaging crinkles around his eyes, but the levis, the sheepskin jacket, and the brown stetson hat had added a steely strength to his appearance. She realized with startling clarity that Logan could be incredibly ruthless in getting what he wanted.