by Janet Dailey
One of the foreman's sons took their horses when they dismounted by the big barn. Logan smiled easily at Jennifer, nodding for her to walk ahead of him to the house.
Sheila's face was radiantly happy as Logan and Jennifer walked in the front door to find her comfortably settled on the plush leather sofa. Her blue eyes twinkled with exceeding brightness at Logan.
'Well?' Logan asked, an expectant lightness in his tone.
'Excuse me,' Jennifer interrupted quickly. 'I'll go and put some coffee on.'
Sheila didn't seem to notice Jennifer walking from the room. 'I didn't think it would be so easy,' she was saying to Logan. 'He didn't even blink an eye when I explained. He said he understood and if I would be happy—'
The connecting kitchen door swung shut on Sheila's words as Jennifer's stomach twisted into a knot. Poor stalwart, dependable Dirk, she thought, managing to spare a bit of pity for him rather than wasting it all on herself.
Jennifer closeted herself in the kitchen for the rest of the afternoon with the excuse of preparing supper. By the time the food was ready to be served, her head was throbbing with a violent headache at her suppressed emotions. The pinched wanness of her complexion brought an insistence from both Logan and Sheila for her to lie down and rest. Bitter tears filled her eyes at the knowledge that they were quite happy to have the evening to themselves, without her presence to hinder them.
Jennifer did doze fitfully in the darkened bedroom. The muted voices from the living room bombarded her consciousness with a thousand tiny knife wounds.
The hands of the little clock on the night stand glowed ten-forty-five when Jennifer woke again. The house seemed silent except for the steady breathing from Sheila's bed. She lay there quietly, wide awake, the headache gone while only the never-ending emptiness remained. At last, Jennifer crept slowly out of the day bed, slipped her feet into her pale green mules while shrugging on her short satin housecoat. She had only nibbled at the evening meal and right now the thought of tea and toast sounded not only filling but capable of bolstering her strength.
She tiptoed through the living room into the kitchen, flicking on only the low overhead light above the stove. As she filled the kettle with cold tap water, she wished she could steal away into the night and not have to face Logan and Sheila the next morning. Absently Jennifer placed the kettle on the burner and turned the flame on beneath it, trying to decide whether it was cowardice or courage that insisted she stay. It felt like all her will had been drained out of her, that even the simplest decision was more than her mind could handle.
What a petty thing, she thought with an ironic laugh as her toast popped out of the toaster, had made her run out here from Minneapolis. That embarrassing incident with Brad seemed so insignificant when compared with the destructive force of her one-sided love for Logan. The kettle whistled sharply in the silent kitchen. She choked off its scream by quickly removing it from the flame. Just as Jennifer began pouring the hot water over the tea bag in her cup, a voice spoke from the darkness.
'I thought you were asleep.'
The dim light above the stove revealed Logan standing beside the table, clad only in levis. The bareness of his chest with its vee of curly brown hair made Jennifer uncomfortably conscious of the shortness of her apple green robe and the scanty pajamas hidden underneath. Her heart thudded so loudly she was sure Logan could hear it even from where he was standing.
'I thought…I'd have some tea and toast.' She could hardly breathe.
'Watch what you're doing!' Logan exclaimed sharply as her hand trembled in an effort to pick up her cup, sloshing the contents over the side and on to the back of her hand. With a barely stifled cry, Jennifer released the cup.
'Are you all right? Let me see your hand,' he demanded, at her side almost before the cup touched the counter.
She tried to draw her hand away from him, but she was no match for his strength. Her whole body felt as if it was on fire as she stared into his face as he examined her hand. When he met her gaze, his breathing was nearly as ragged as hers.
'Jenny,' he whispered. His hand brushed the red-gold bangs away from her forehead, before closing convulsively behind her head. 'Jenny,' he whispered again as he drew her into his arms.
Her lips trembled captively beneath his as he slowly drew what little resistance she had out of her until she was clinging to him weakly. Her arms glided around his neck as her senses reeled under the ardency and desire of his kiss. Jennifer revelled in the touch of his naked chest against her body as he crushed her ever tighter in his embrace, as if he too wanted them to melt into oneness. She moaned softly as Logan's mouth left her lips and buried itself in the creamy smoothness of her neck, sending fresh waves of passion through her.
Her mind tried to argue with her body, demanding it to stop responding to his touch. But she knew she was his to possess, that nothing mattered but the touch of his lips on hers and the feel of his hands as they roughly caressed her shoulders and back.
'Oh, Jenny,' he groaned, raining kisses on her face and lips. 'I want you. Oh, how I want you!'
She stiffened in his arms, a chill creeping through her body with deadly swiftness. How foolish you are, her heart cried. Did you think he loved you? He's engaged to your sister!
'Sheila—Logan, stop, please,' she sobbed, pushing ineffectually against his chest. 'Don't!'
'Don't fight me, Jenny Glenn,' Logan protested softly, seeking her mouth again, only to have her twist away from him.
Her hands doubled up into two fists as she began beating his chest, tears streaming in bitter humiliation down her cheeks.
'What's the matter with you?' A frown creased his forehead as he stared down at the tears and the angry fists now imprisoned in his hands. 'What have I done?'
'You let me go!' she sobbed angrily, wishing she didn't feel so small glaring up at him from beneath his chin. 'You beast, you doublecrosser!'
'Have you taken leave of your senses?' he shouted.
'Not any more I haven't!' Jenny screamed back, finally managing to free her hands from his grip. As he stepped angrily towards her, she added in a trembling voice, 'Don't you touch me! Don't you ever touch me again!'
She cringed at the black fury that clouded his face at her words. She staggered backwards against the counter as he walked menacingly forward.
'I'll touch you any damned time I please!'
His hand reached out, grasping the sleek material of her robe. She felt it tear in his hands as he pulled her to him. Then his lips were ravaging her mouth with punishing, degrading thoroughness. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and a spark of red flowed as she dragged them across his chest. But it was as if Logan felt nothing, only the desire to possess with or without her consent, Jennifer clawed at him, her love mixed with hate. When she felt she had not the strength to draw another breath, he was flinging her from him in disgust.
'Get out of here!' His chest was rising and falling rapidly. The low menace of his voice reduced her to a sobbing, trembling nothing. Somehow she managed to stagger from the kitchen, all too conscious of the steely hardness of his eyes as he watched her leave.
'Jennifer! What are you doing?' Sheila cried, hobbling into the bedroom on her crutches to see her sister solemnly flinging clothes into the suitcase.
'What does it look as if I'm doing? I'm leaving,' she replied calmly.
'Leaving? What do you mean, leaving? Where? How?'
'How?' Jennifer glanced up at the pair of startled blue eyes. 'I've got two feet that are going to carry me and my suitcase out that door and into the jeep. Then that jeep is going to take me to the airport, and the plane is going to fly me to Minneapolis.'
'Does Logan know this?' Sheila questioned after a horrified gasp.
'No. You can tell him if you want to. I don't need his permission to leave,' Jennifer replied sarcastically. After last night, she didn't owe him a thing. Sheila continued to stare at her in disbelief. 'I think I hear someone knocking at the door, Sheila. Why don't you go a
nd answer it?'
Seconds later, Dirk appeared in the bedroom door.
'What's this all about, Jenny?' he demanded.
Jennifer snapped her suitcase shut before turning towards him defiantly.
'I'm leaving, that's what it's all about! Do you intend to stop me?' A sob stopped halfway up her throat. She knew she couldn't bear it if Dirk tried to stand in her way.
'This is what you really want to do?' he asked quietly, walking over to stand beside her, his dark eyes taking in the eyes swollen from crying herself to sleep and the dark smudges beneath them that told him sleep had been a long time coming.
'Yes.' Her voice was lower than a whisper as her chin trembled traitorously.
'I'll drive you to the airport, then,' he said grimly.
'Dirk!' Sheila cried. 'You can't! Jennifer, you can't leave like this. What about your clothes, your things at the house?'
'Have them shipped to me.' Jennifer had put on her coat, handed her suitcase to Dirk, and inhaled deeply before turning towards her sister to kiss her cheek lightly. 'I'll write you and tell you all about it…as soon as I can.'
She followed Dirk stoically out the door to his car, ignoring as best she could Sheila's confused protests. She was grateful that Dirk sensed she didn't want to talk, that she couldn't talk without breaking down. Last night, when she had finally stumbled into her bedroom, she had known that she couldn't stay, that she couldn't possibly face Logan ever again after what had happened. The only thing that was any comfort to her at all was the knowledge that he hadn't guessed she loved him, and still despite the way he'd treated her. She realized that, in Logan's opinion, she must have acted like a tease. Because there was no doubt that she had responded very openly to his first kiss. It was just when he said he wanted her, not needed or loved her, but wanted her as if she were a cheap tramp that he could have and forget. She loved him, Jennifer thought, she loved him so much, but not so much that she could allow him to use her in that way.
'What did he do to you?'
Jennifer started at his question. The silence had gone on for so long that she had only been conscious of the miles she was putting between herself and Logan. She had completely forgotten that she wasn't the only person in the car.
'I saw the bruises on your arm,' Dirk said flatly, 'so you might as well tell me what happened.'
'Please, Dirk, I don't want to talk about it,' she protested weakly, staring through the windshield at the town spreading out before them.
'You don't have to hide the fact from me that you've fallen in love with Logan, you know. I've been there before, remember?'
'It was nothing.'
'If it was nothing, you wouldn't be running away.' He manoeuvred the car slowly through the town traffic.
'It sounds too silly to put into words,' she shrugged uneasily.
'Try me.'
'He kissed me. And then I got angry, and he got angry. When he grabbed hold of my arm he was a little rough. Don't tell Sheila, please,' she begged, her eyes clouding with tears.
'Sheila? What does it matter if Sheila knows?' Dirk glanced at her with a frown.
'She might get the wrong idea.' As Dirk continued to eye her with that puzzled expression, Jennifer exclaimed in exasperation. 'You know very well that Logan and Sheila are engaged. I know she told you yesterday.'
There was a stifled exclamation from Dirk as he pulled the car to a stop in front of the airport. His dark eyes were extremely bright when he turned to stare at her.
'And just how do you know they're engaged?'
'I'm not deaf and blind,' she retorted angrily. 'Besides, I saw Logan in the jewellery shop when he bought the ring and I heard Sheila telling Logan yesterday how well you took the news.'
'You saw Logan buy the ring?' He stared at her thoughtfully.
'Yes,' Jennifer said in irritation. 'I don't have to have something spelled out for me in black and white.'
'I see that,' Dirk mocked. 'Well, here you are at the airport. Are you leaving or not?'
'Yes, of course.' She was startled by his sudden abruptness.
'I don't think either one of us wants any fond good-byes, so unless you need some help with the suitcase, I'll just say my "so long" here.' Dirk smiled warty and sympathetically.
'Yes, that's fine with me, too.' Now that it was time to get out of the car, Jennifer wasn't at all sure she wanted to go. She reached over and kissed Dirk lightly on the cheek. 'I wish you the best of everything, Dirk.'
'You, too, Jenny. Bye.'
She waved bravely as the car pulled away. The wind whipped and whistled around her, tugging her coat and taunting her face, as if it was making fun of the tears that trembled in her eyes. Jennifer had never felt so all alone before. Resolutely, she turned to enter the airport, only to discover once inside that the only flight out of Jackson wasn't until after four that afternoon. Five hours to wait! Why hadn't she checked the schedules? In her desperate flight to get away from Logan, it had never occurred to her once to check the times of the outgoing planes.
Resigning herself to a long wait, Jennifer purchased her ticket. She wandered through the small building for half an hour before finally stopping to gaze out the window at the empty runway. She felt like the hare, running, then waiting, running and waiting, all the time the tortoise was slowly winning the race. A draught suddenly blew around her legs, and she glanced up idly to find its source. In petrified stillness, she watched Logan walk through the door and stride towards her, anger and irritation in every moment of his body.
'You didn't lose much time in clearing out, did you?' He growled when he finally stopped in front of her.
'I must have lost some or you wouldn't have caught up with me,' she replied bitterly, turning her face away from his to stare again out the window.
'Dirk called me soon after Sheila got one of the men to bring me back to the house. He told me some wild story about Sheila and me being engaged. Would you like to explain it to me?' Logan asked, making an effort to control his temper.
'Explain it?' Jennifer exclaimed incredulously. 'Good heavens, what is there to explain? I know you haven't given her the ring yet, at least I didn't see it on her finger this morning, but I know you're going to marry her.'
He scowled at her puzzledly for a minute, his eyes searching her intently.
'I'm not going to marry Sheila.' He shook his head as he spoke, a gleam appearing in his eyes. His hand disappeared into his pocket to reappear holding the black velvet box. He handed it to her.
Now it was Jennifer's turn to look puzzled. A dimple appeared briefly in one cheek as Logan brought a cigarette to his lips and busied himself with lighting it. Hesitantly Jennifer flipped open the lid of the box. Her mouth dropped open as she stared at the brilliant jade stone surrounded by a circlet of diamonds. Her hands began to shake as Logan retrieved the box.
'I don't understand,' she mumbled, gazing bewilderedly into his mocking eyes.
'It's very simple, Jenny Glenn. Sheila is going to marry Dirk. There was never even the slightest possibility that it would be any other way,' he finished calmly, exhaling a puff of smoke to drift between them.
'But I heard the jeweller…he called it an engagement ring,' Jennifer struggled.
'It is.'
Jennifer covered her mouth with her hand. Her mind was jumping to conclusions that couldn't possibly be true.
'Yesterday, that private conversation between Sheila and Dirk…she said he took the news so easily," she persisted.
'The news was that Sheila isn't going to give up managing the hotel, at least, not until they get on their feet financially,' Logan explained. 'Aren't you going to ask who the ring is for?'
'It's jade,' she said as he removed it from its box.
'Jadeite,' he corrected. At her gasp of surprise, he smiled broadly. 'There are two gems that are commonly known as jade. One is jadeite and the other is nephrite. The gem called jadeite is mined here in Wyoming. A very beautiful stone, don't you think?'
'My neckla
ce?' Jennifer asked breathlessly, her eyes beginning to glow at each word.
'As I told you, it's jadeite. An exact match in colour and texture to this engagement ring.'
'Logan, who is that ring for?'
'All Taylor wives wear jade rings. I'm surprised you didn't notice my mother's. I believe, until Christmas, Mother thought the jade necklace would be my gift to Sheila,' Logan said. 'I've had an inscription engraved inside the ring,' handing the ring to Jennifer so that she could read it. Inside the wide gold band were the words 'Cedant Arma Togae'.
'What does it mean?' she asked cautiously.
'"Let Arms Yield to the Gown"—it's the state motto of Wyoming,' Logan told her. 'Except in this case, I think you are the one who must yield and stop torturing me with the no-good from Minnesota.'
'Are you really asking me to marry you? Logan, I couldn't stand it if this was all a joke,' her voice broke with a sob as she gazed into his eyes, trying to find the answer.
'I'm asking you to admit once and for all that you love me,' he said earnestly, his hands resting so lightly on her shoulders as if touching her skin would burn him. 'I want to hear you say that.'
'I love you, Logan,' she whispered. 'I love you so much I could die.'
'I was positive you did last night,' Logan smiled, drawing her firmly into his arms. 'What happened last night? One minute you were in my arms kissing me so completely that I thought you were handing me your heart, and the next minute you were spitting at me like a cat!'
'I thought…' Jennifer blushed, hiding her face from his eyes, 'I thought you only wanted me. That's' what you said,' she cried as he groaned and crushed her tighter against him.
'You crazy idiot! I do want you, because I love you. Because I've been crazy with love for you from the moment you stepped off that plane and into my heart. But you erected a wall so high between us that I never thought I'd cross it. It was worth it, my darling. It was worth every agonizing minute of it just to hold you like this.' He spoke concisely, lifting her chin up so that he could look into her face as she heard his words.