Friends--And Then Some

by Debbie Macomber

  She was standing on the porch by the time he’d parked. He didn’t look eager to see her and stopped the instant he realized she was wearing the dress. When he started toward her again, he trod heavily—like someone being led to a labor camp.

  “Gram said you’d come.” She rubbed her hands together to dispel her nervous energy.

  Jake spread his fingers wide in a gesture that told her he hadn’t wanted to return. But something stronger than his will had led him back to her.

  “What did you tell Rick?” Jake stood on the sidewalk as if he wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to come inside.

  “That I wasn’t feeling well.”

  “And he bought that?”

  “By the time we left the opera it was true.”

  “And how are you feeling now?”

  “Terrible.” She hung her head so that her hair fell forward.

  “I shouldn’t be here.” Why did Lily have to look so beautiful standing there in the moonlight? She was miserable and confused, and it took everything in him not to reach for her and haul her into his arms and comfort her. Rick had probably wanted to do that. Involuntarily, Jake’s fist clenched. The thought of Rick holding Lily produced such a rage within him that he felt like smashing his hand through a wall.

  “I’m glad you came back,” Lily said softly.

  Her intense gaze commanded his attention. Jake knew he could refuse her nothing.

  “I’m glad I did, too,” he admitted with reluctance, walking toward her.

  “It’s a little late for going out to eat. I thought … that is, if you don’t mind … that we could order a pizza.”

  “With anchovies?”

  Her eyes lit up with a smiling glint. “Only on your half.”

  “Agreed.” He took the stairs two at a time and paused at the darkened living room. “Where’s Gram?”

  “She fell asleep. I’ll wake her.”

  “No.” A hand on Lily’s forearm stopped her. No, tonight was for them. “Let her rest.”

  “All right.”

  She smiled at him and Jake felt his stomach twist. If he had any sense left, he’d get out of there right away. But the ability to reason had left him the first time he’d kissed Lily that night in the attic. From that minute on he’d behaved like a fool. He’d like to blame Lily for what he was feeling, but he couldn’t. With her, everything had been of his own making.

  “I brought some wine.” Actually he’d left it in the front seat of the cab. He hadn’t been sure he’d be staying. “I’ll be right back.”

  Lily had the wineglasses out by the time he returned. She turned to him when he walked into the kitchen and Jake found he couldn’t look away from her no matter how hard he tried.

  “Do you want a corkscrew?”

  Lily’s words shook him from his trance. “Yeah, sure.” He paused to clear his throat. “You look nice in that dress.” That had to be the understatement of the year. She was the personification of the very name of the gown: Angel’s Breath—so soft and delicate. It was the purest form of torture to be near her and not touch her.

  Lily handed him the corkscrew, and while he fiddled to open the wine bottle, she casually browsed a pizza flyer she grabbed from the side of the fridge. “Should we pick the pizza up ourselves or have it delivered?”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “Have it delivered.” Lily didn’t want to go out again or do anything that would disrupt the evening. “What toppings do you want?”

  “Anchovies, pepperoni, olives, green pepper”—he paused—“and sausage. What about you?”

  “Cheese,” she told him, and laughed at the doubtful look on his face. “I’m just teasing. I’ll have the same, except for those disgusting little fish.”

  The cork came out of the wine bottle with a popping sound and Jake filled both glasses. “Here.”

  Lily accepted the wine and took a small sip. It was excellent. “This is good.”

  “I wanted something special.”

  She touched the edge of her wineglass to his. “To Jake: a master of words, a skilled storyteller, a man of obvious talent and virtue.”

  “And to Lily, who lent me her support.”

  “Moral and immoral,” she added with a small laugh.

  “Mostly moral.”

  Together they tasted the wine and then moved into the living room to sit on the zebra skin beside the wide ottoman. Lily had a fleeting thought to suggest they light a fire in the fireplace, but the evening was warm.

  “Thank you, Lily, for all your encouragement.”

  “Thank you, Jake, for being such a talented storyteller.”

  “To friendship.” His eyes didn’t leave hers.

  “To friendship,” she repeated in a hushed whisper.

  They each drank their first glass and Jake replenished their supply.

  “Jake.”

  “Hmm?”

  “What really happened between you and Elaine?”

  The question was so unexpected that his mouth parted, searching for words. “What do you want to know for?”

  She lifted one shoulder and lowered her gaze to the red liquid. “You were so close to her.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “And then everything blew up.”

  “She wanted me to be something I couldn’t.”

  “But that’s part of what’s great about you, Jake. You’re so versatile. You can do anything.”

  “But only if I want to.” Jake had no qualms about admitting his talents. He’d tried enough things in life to know what Lily said was true. He wasn’t being egotistical, only honest.

  With a lazy finger, Lily drew circles over the rim of her wineglass. “Were you lovers?”

  “What?” Jake sat up so quickly that the wine nearly sloshed over the side of his glass. “What kind of question is that?”

  “I just want to know.” Morbid curiosity had driven her to ask.

  “That’s none of your business.” He downed the remainder of his glass in one giant swallow. “Do you mind if we don’t talk about Elaine?

  “All right.” It was a sore subject. But Lily couldn’t regret that Jake had broken things off with Elaine. She wasn’t nearly good enough for him.

  “What about you and Rick?”

  She straightened. “What about us?”

  “Has he kissed you?”

  Lily clamped her upper teeth over her bottom lip and hunched her shoulders. “Sort of.”

  “How does a man ‘sort of’ kiss you?”

  Lily rose to her knees, planted her hands on Jake’s shoulders, and slanted her mouth over his. “Like this,” she whispered, gently grazing his mouth with hers. Their mouths barely touched in a soft caress.

  Jake nearly choked on his own breath as a shaft of desire shot through him. He broke contact and leaned back, lowering his gaze. Lily was achingly close; she smelled like summer and sunshine and everything good. He had to look away, fearing he’d feel compelled to toss aside the wineglass and pull her into his arms. “Yes, well, I see what you mean.”

  “You knew Rick was married before, didn’t you?”

  “I seem to remember something about that.”

  “He’s been divorced less than a year.”

  “What happened?” Jake didn’t care two cents about the breakup of Rick’s marriage, but he needed the distraction. Anything to take his mind off how badly he wanted Lily.

  “I’m not exactly sure, but apparently she left him for another man.”

  “That must’ve hurt.” The remark was inane, but every second was torture having Lily so close.

  “He’s insecure and lonely.”

  “So are a lot of people.”

  Lily rotated the stem of the wineglass between her thumb and fingers. “I know.”

  “You like Rick, don’t you?” Jake pressed. His gut feeling that Rick wasn’t right for Lily persisted, but he wouldn’t say anything. Not after what happened with that oil-rich Texan. Jake was beginning to doubt that anyone would ever be good
enough for Lily.

  “He’s a nice man.”

  “Rich.”

  Softly, Lily cleared her throat. “Yes, he seems to be.”

  “That’s what you wanted.”

  Lately, Lily wasn’t so sure. She set the wineglass aside, got up, and moved to the window to stare into the night. The city lights obliterated the brilliance of the stars, but Lily was only pretending to look into the sky.

  Jake joined her, coming to stand behind her. He raised his hands to cup the gentle curve of her shoulders and rested his cheek against the side of her head. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” He shouldn’t be touching her like this, even in the most innocent way. Her nearness was a stimulant he didn’t need. She smelled much too good for his sanity. Rick could give her all the things he’d never be able to afford. A knot of misery tightened in his chest.

  “Yes, it’s lovely,” she mumbled. Without meaning to, she leaned back against Jake. He accepted her weight and slid his hands down the length of her arms. He desperately wanted to hold her—to touch her without giving in to the temptation to kiss her. Lily was meant to be cherished and treasured, and he couldn’t do her justice.

  Lily didn’t move, barely breathed. The light touch of Jake’s hands stirred her blood. She yearned to turn and have his arms surround her. The light taste of his mouth lingered on hers unbearably.

  Without thinking, Jake turned his face into her hair and breathed in the fragrance of her shampoo. He lowered his face and nuzzled her ear. Lily tilted her head, luxuriating in the warm sensation that flooded through her.

  “Lily,” Jake breathed. “I shouldn’t be holding you like this.”

  “I like it.”

  “I do, too. Too much.”

  “But I want you to hold me.”

  “Lily, please.”

  “Don’t hold me then,” she murmured. “Let me hold you.” Without warning, she turned and slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her ear against his heart.

  “Lily.”

  “It feels good in your arms,” she purred, tightening her grip so that he couldn’t break the contact. “How can it be wrong when it feels this good?”

  “I don’t know. Oh, Lily …” He whispered her name as he lowered his head, searching out her mouth. He touched his lips against hers, savoring her. She tasted like melting sugar, unbearably sweet and highly addictive.

  Restlessly she moved against him, caught up in the moment as her passion for him took over.

  “Lily,” he pleaded against her mouth. “Hold still. We shouldn’t let things get out of hand.”

  “I can’t help it.” She combed her fingers through his hair and looked up at him with wide, adoring eyes. “This feels so right.”

  “Lily …”

  “Shh,” she whispered and planted her mouth over his. She wound her arms around his neck and caressed his mouth with hers. “Your kiss is irresistible.”

  “So is yours.” He paused to study the desire in her eyes. They were playing a dangerous game that they both stood to lose. Yet he was unable to resist her and he lowered his mouth to capture hers again.

  Lily moaned softly, her lips moving against his. A low groan slipped from Jake’s throat and he forced deeper contact, gripping the sides of her face and fusing their mouths together.

  He came away from her weak, his resolve diminishing by the second. He hugged her hard, struggling deep within himself to find the willpower to release her.

  With a superhuman effort, he broke contact, stepping back and holding her at arm’s length. “The wine went to our heads.”

  Her small smile contradicted his words. “We didn’t have that much.”

  “Obviously more than we should have.”

  “I like what you do to me.”

  “Well, I don’t like it,” he hissed. “Tonight was a fluke and best forgotten.”

  “I’m not going to forget it.”

  “Well, I am. This isn’t going to happen again. Do you understand? It’s not right.”

  “But Jake …”

  “I’m leaving. Right now. If you have half the intelligence I credit you with, you’ll forget this ever happened.” He dropped his arms and rubbed a hand over his face. “Good night, Lily.”

  She could hardly see him. Salty tears clouded her vision. “Good night, Jake.”

  He was gone before she could utter another word.

  * * *

  “Morning.” Gram greeted Lily cheerfully the following day. “I see Jake came. I told you he would.”

  Lily pulled out a kitchen chair and sat. After a restless, unhappy night she wasn’t feeling very motivated.

  “Yes, he was here.”

  “You coming down with a cold, girl? Your eyes are all red like you were awake half the night.”

  Lily blinked and offered her grandmother a feeble smile. “I think I might be.”

  Gram pushed a handful of vitamins and herbal supplements in Lily’s direction. “You better start taking these.”

  “All right.”

  Gram gave her an odd look as Lily downed each pill without argument. “I see you two celebrated with some wine.”

  Her explanation was mumbled. “Jake brought it.”

  “Where’d he take you for dinner?”

  They had never gotten around to ordering the pizza. “We … we just had the wine.”

  “Ah,” Gram muttered knowingly. “So you sat around and talked.”

  Lily pulled out the chair and stood in front of the old porcelain sink, her back to her grandmother. “Yes, we talked.” Her fingers tightened around her mug. They’d talked, and a lot more. It was the “lot more” that would be difficult to explain.

  “What did Jake have to say?”

  “This and that.” Nervously, Lily set the mug on the long counter. “I think I’ll go get dressed.”

  “You do that,” Gram said with a knowing chuckle. “Me and Paddy used to talk about ‘this and that’ ourselves. Some of our best conversations were spent discussing those very things.”

  * * *

  On Monday evening, Jake wasn’t parked in his usual spot outside the Wheaton when Lily finished her shift. She lingered around the lobby for an additional fifteen minutes, hoping he’d arrive and they’d have a chance to talk. He didn’t. And he wasn’t there the next evening, either. Lily didn’t require a typed message to know that Jake was avoiding her. Maybe he felt they needed a break from each other to give ample thought to what had happened. But Lily would have felt better if Jake hadn’t been playing a silly game of hide-and-seek with her.

  Early Wednesday evening, Rick appeared in the lobby of the Wheaton and sat listening to Lily play. He clapped politely at the end of a series of numbers. No one applauded her playing; she was there for mood and atmosphere, not entertainment.

  When she had finished, Lily slid off the polished piano bench and Rick rose to join her.

  “You’re very gifted,” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

  “Thank you.”

  “Would you like a cocktail?”

  Lily hesitated. She wanted to check if Jake was out front. If he was, Lily had everything she wanted to tell him worked out in her mind. She had no intention of mentioning what had happened over the wine. She’d decided that she’d play Jake’s game and pretend the alcohol had dictated their uncharacteristic behavior. She planned to be witty and clever and show him that she hadn’t been nearly as affected by his kiss as he seemed to believe. Playing this role was a matter of pride now. “Let me tell Jake first,” Lily told Rick.

  “Sure.” A guiding hand at her elbow led her through the hotel and into the foyer. “Why do you need to talk to Jake?”

  “He usually gives me a ride home.”

  “Every night?” Rick uttered a faint sound of disapproval. “I wasn’t aware that you saw Jake that often.”

  “That’s how we got to be such good friends.” Lily stood between the two sets of thick glass doors, scanning the long circular driveway. Jake wasn’t there. Her
heart sank.

  “Apparently he can’t tonight.”

  “Apparently not.”

  “I’ll take you home. For that matter, there isn’t any reason why I can’t see you home every night. I hate the thought of you having to rely on Jake’s schedule for a ride home.”

  “I’m not relying on Jake’s schedule. He’s here when he can be, and not here when it’s inconvenient or he’s got a fare. The arrangement works well for us both.” Perhaps she did depend on Jake more than she should. But Jake would be as offended as she to have Rick suggest as much. “And as for you seeing me home every night, that’s ridiculous.”

  “But I want to take care of you,” Rick protested, his arm closing around her waist. “Let’s go have that drink and we’ll talk it over.”

  “There’s nothing to discuss.” Now Rick was irritating her. She didn’t want to have a drink with him; she wanted to talk to Jake. Only Jake wasn’t around and hadn’t been for three days. Lily missed him.

  * * *

  By Saturday afternoon, Lily was irritable and snapping at Gram. Rick had declared that he was coming to listen to her again and Jake continued to avoid her. Lily couldn’t recall a time in all her years when she felt more frustrated.

  “I haven’t seen Jake around lately,” Gram complained as Lily pulled weeds from the front flower beds.

  Alongside her, Gram groomed her African violets, smiling under a huge straw hat with a brightly colored bandanna wrapped around the brim.

  “He’s been busy.” With unnecessary force, Lily jerked a weed free of the soft soil. “I haven’t seen him for an entire week.”

  “Not since you two discussed ‘this and that’?” Gram asked with a knowing glance.

  “Nope.” The cool earth felt good against Lily’s hands. For once she didn’t care if there was grit and grime under her manicured nails. Everything felt different after what had happened with Jake. “Gram, what would you say about me changing jobs?”

  “Changing jobs? But I thought you liked it at the Wheaton. Or is it Jake that’s worrying you?”

  “Jake hasn’t got anything to do with it.”

  “This decision seems sudden.”

  “Forget it, then. I’ll stay at the Wheaton and play ‘Moon River’ for the rest of my life. I don’t care if I ever see Jake again.” The minute the words escaped her lips, Lily realized what she’d said, and snapped her mouth closed.