Down by Contact - A Seattle Lumberjacks Romance

by Jami Davenport

  Zach crossed to the wine bottle sitting in an ice bucket near the tub. He opened the bottle and poured two glasses, handing Kelsie one. She gave him a stiff, tight smile and took a sip then turned toward the French doors.

  Zach frowned, not sure what he’d done wrong. She’d been fine a minute ago. He followed her onto the balcony into the cool night air. No city lights glared off the water below them or blocked out the brilliance of the stars in the night sky. Kelsie leaned on the balcony railing and sipped her wine. Zach stood behind her, the wine glass gripped in his hand while he wiped his other sweaty palm on his jeans.

  “It’s really pretty.” Okay, stupid thing to say but what else was a guy to say to his new bride?

  “It’s beautiful. I can see why Lavender raves about this place.” She angled her body toward his, a million unspoken questions shining in her bright blue eyes. Zach was pretty damn sure he didn’t have one answer to any of those questions. He was operating blind, just as she was. He doubted Mabel Fay Buchanan’s Book of Southern Charm and Etiquette covered honeymoon night etiquette.

  Uncertainty flickered in her eyes and poked a hole in his resolve to keep his distance. Zach took the wine glass from her hands and set both glasses on the railing. He stepped into her, hands on either side of the railing, and effectively blocked her escape. She stared up at him. He leaned into her, filled his nostrils with her sweet scent like wildflowers in a mountain meadow. Zach bent down, wanting, needing to kiss her. To make this marriage more than just a piece of paper and a mutual agreement between two people who each had something the other needed.

  He hoped like hell he didn’t screw this up.

  * * * * *

  As soon as Zach’s large body and strong arms penned her in, waves of claustrophobia slammed through Kelsie, as if she’d been locked in a car trunk with no way out. She squeezed her eyes shut and fought the panic rising inside her. It wasn’t Zach’s face, but Mark’s face that swam in front of her, his eyes dark with an obsession to dominate her, show her his strength.

  That had been the first step. Then came the subtle jabs to her fragile confidence, the tearing down of everything she’d worked to build. The criticism turned to ridicule and belittlement. Then the emotional abuse escalated into total isolation and control and finally a physical beating. She couldn’t let another man do what Mark had done to her.

  Only Zach wasn’t Mark.

  He never would be Mark. Zach was one of the few good guys. Her heart told her so even as her brain battled her instincts, but the instincts won. She had to get free, get away, reestablish her control.

  In an almost blind panic, she put her palms on his solid chest and pushed. Hard. Confusion clouded his features. He staggered back a few steps and stared at her with soulful brown eyes, like a golden retriever who’d been dumped off in a strange neighborhood—lost, alone, and abandoned.

  “I didn’t mean to assume.” He shuffled his feet, hands at his side, and stared at his big feet. He felt like the awkward oaf he’d always been. Probably always would be. Obviously, Kelsie saw him that way. She took advantage of his retreat, slipped past him, and into the bedroom.

  Looking drained and beaten, Zach hoisted his duffle bag. “I’ll sleep in another room tonight.”

  She clutched her coat to her chest and nodded. “That would be best.” Disgust rose inside her like the rapidly rising waters of a river in a flash flood. In his mind, she’d rejected him. In hers, she didn’t deserve him. Didn’t deserve a good man. Not a user like her. “Zach?”

  He stopped in the doorway, hand on the doorknob.

  “It’s not you, it’s me.”

  His crushed expression said he didn’t believe her. A second later the door shut behind him.

  Self-loathing clawed at her gut, a wild beast ripping away all the bullshit to the despicable person underneath. Running to the balcony, she gripped the railing and heaved huge gulps of air into her lungs. Kelsie squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to get a handle on her emotions. Slowly her breathing returned to normal. She slumped onto a patio chair.

  She’d changed. She swore she’d changed. If one good thing came of those hellish years with Mark, it had to be her compassion for others because without that she had nothing.

  And for the immediate future, she had Zach, sweet, kind, rough-edged Zach. Instead of mounting his own attack, he’d backed off, like a true gentleman, more than Mark would ever be regardless of his polished manners and supposed good breeding. Oh, God, she was so confused. She should go to him now. Talk to him. Make him understand what was going on in her head.

  If this were a real marriage, she’d lay it all out for him because only with complete honesty could they survive. Only this wasn’t a real marriage and they didn’t need trust or respect to get through the next few months. They just needed to cooperate with each other and tolerate each other.

  Yet, something inside Kelsie wanted more. Needed more. Zach might be the only man who could heal her. Only at what price to him?

  She crawled into bed and tried to sleep.

  A few hours later, Kelsie gave up on sleep. She’d tossed and turned and played the entire night over and over in her head. She’d overreacted. Panicked. And she felt stupid. Really stupid. And weak. And she despised weakness, especially in herself. Just because she didn’t want to be under another man’s control didn’t mean she couldn’t sleep with a man. She so wanted to sleep with Zach Murphy. She wanted to feel those bulging muscles ripple under her fingers. She wanted to rake her fingernails across his broad back. She wanted to wrap her legs around his waist and urge them both onto something incredible.

  Because despite all her misgivings and excuses, sex with Zach would be incredible. She just knew it. The same instincts that had told her to run when she’d stood at the altar that first time, told her to stay put and make of it what she could. Zach wouldn’t hurt her. She needed to believe that. Needed to trust her own instincts and to trust him. The only way to take a step forward instead of backward was to jump into the deep end with both feet and pray she could swim. It didn’t matter if she dog-paddled or treaded water as long as she didn’t drown.

  Picking up her phone, she texted a message to Zach: I’m sorry and lonely. Slipping out of her jeans and shirt, she left on the lacy bra and panties—matching— and pulled on a silk robe courtesy of Rachel and Lavender. She quickly doused the lights and lit a few candles then stood near the French doors and waited.

  A few seconds later, the hall door opened and Zach’s large body filled the doorway. The light from the hallway spilled into the room and cast shadows on his handsome face. He’d yanked on a pair of faded Levis and left the fly unzipped. No underwear. His bare chest sprinkled with dark chest hair rose and fell. His dark hair, still full of product, stuck up in several places with one wayward lock plastered against his forehead. He glanced around the room until he spotted her.

  Kelsie sucked in a breath, managed a tentative, yet encouraging smile. His eyes flashed with fire, though hooded with wariness. He ran his hands up and down his thighs, the action flexed his biceps. She cleared her throat, as one hand lifted of its own accord, wanting to stroke those football-honed muscles.

  “What took you so long?” Despite the tremor in her voice, she kept it low and sultry, playing a seductress as best she could. As best as her fragile confidence would allow. Obviously, it was good enough for Zach.

  “I, uh, uh.” Despite his size, he didn’t look intimidating. He looked as uncertain and insecure as she felt.

  “Zach, come here.” She smiled at him, a welcoming, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for. This was a business arrangement. I thought it might be more.” He shrugged one shoulder. “My mistake.” Tentatively, he walked across the room until he stopped a few feet from her. His dark eyes traveled up and down her body until their gazes met and held like a magnet to a magnet. The raw hunger in his eyes sent a thrill of fear and pleasure up and down her spine.

  “I was
scared, Zach.”

  “I shouldn’t have come onto you when you don’t find me, uh, well, attractive.”

  Kelsie had to laugh. He looked so earnest, so sad. She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. “Zach, I do find you attractive. Maybe too attractive. Perhaps, that’s part of my fear. I just got out of a bad, long-term marriage. A really bad one. I’m gun-shy.”

  “What happened? You can tell me.”

  “I will. I promise. Sometime soon. For tonight, let’s see where this goes. No preconceived expectations.”

  “Well, except you’ll run interference for me at parties, and I’ll pad your bank account.” His lopsided smile did more for her than a day at the spa.

  She inhaled the scent of this man and rubbed the pads of her thumbs across his stubble. “About that. You didn’t have me sign a prenup.”

  “Should I have, Kelsie? Are you going to rip me off? You told me you’re not a mean girl anymore, not a user. So I guess I’ll find out, won’t I?” His dark eyes dilated and his breathing sounded harsh.

  “You trust me not to take you for all I can?” Something warm and fuzzy took root in her heart. No one had ever trusted her to do the right thing before. Never. But Zach did. He put his trust in her. Maybe she didn’t deserve it, but she’d find a way to earn his trust.

  “I’m going to try.”

  “And I’m going to prove to you that I’m not the selfish bitch I once was.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  Another smile tickled the corners of his mouth. Kelsie loved making him smile. She stared at those lips like a woman seeing paradise after a long drought in hell, which was essentially pretty close to accurate. She wanted him, and common sense be damned. By the fire smoldering in his deep brown eyes, they just happened to be on the same page for once.

  Standing on tiptoes, she pressed her lips against his. His mouth softened, his arms circled her waist, and he pulled her close. His erection rubbed against the thin material of her robe and rubbed something even deeper and long buried inside her. Her earlier panic stayed in its box, replaced by an undeniable truth whispering in her ears. This felt so right. So very right.

  They kissed and her passion ignited like a match thrown on a field of dry grass consuming all her senses. Zach tugged on the belt of her robe until it fell open. His hard chest pressed against her softer skin, singeing her with a heat hotter than a Texas summer sun.

  She’d known all along, even back in ninth grade, that they would be a combustible match. The danger to her heart loomed so real and frightening, she sought to keep it from overwhelming her. She wouldn’t turn him down twice. She’d already bruised his ego one too many times. Tonight was payback for all she owed this man. And pay him back she would. Handsomely. Passionately. And without regrets. Tonight she’d give him her body and possibly something more. Much more.

  Zach groaned and pushed the robe off her shoulders. He stepped back to stare at her with a sharp intake of breath. Kelsie let the robe slip to the floor and stood in the doorway with the moonlight bathing both of their bodies.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She looked him up and down. “So are you, in a very male way.” There was nothing remotely feminine about this man. Every square inch of his body was pure testosterone. Just the way she liked him. She lowered the straps on her lacy bra, reached behind and unfastened it, letting it join her robe in a heap of silk and lace on the floor. Zach growled, a pure male sound from a man barely tamed by civilization. He reached out a large hand and tentatively cupped her breast, running his fingers over it, as if memorizing every inch of skin. Bending his head, he sucked her nipple, so gentle and sweet the sensations almost undid her. She wasn’t used to gentle.

  Her sexy linebacker lifted her in his arms and carried her to the romantic four-poster. Placing her on top of the down comforter, he lay next to her. His big hands stroked her body, naked except for an immodest g-string. She closed her eyes and willed herself to relax—not hard to do considering the magic web Zach wove around her.

  Kelsie sighed and slammed the suitcase shut on her misgivings over being controlled, along with her other dysfunctional hang-ups. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his rough hands roaming gently over her body, as if she was the orchestra and he, the conductor. She wanted to make beautiful music with him all night long.

  After all, it was their honeymoon, such as it was, and she’d already wasted valuable hours because of her baggage.

  Zach’s tongue and mouth lavished more attention on her nipples than he did over the television during Monday Night Football. Oh, dear, now she was even thinking like him. He slid his free hand down her ribs, across her belly, and under the miniscule crotch of her g-string. He cupped her mound and lifted his head. “You shaved.”

  She nodded, unable to form one coherent word.

  “I like that. I like a woman bared to me in all ways including her body. Are you bared to me, Kelsie? All of you?” His husky voice reverberated through her body, sending pulsing waves of passion to the center of her sex.

  “I’m trying,” she gasped.

  “That’s good enough for now.” Zach eased his large index finger past the folds of her opening. She tensed slightly, expecting pain out of habit. Zach hesitated. His eyes met hers with a thousand unspoken questions lingering in his dark gaze. She turned her head away, not wanting him to read how far she’d sank with Mark, how much she’d tolerated, how little she’d thought of herself.

  “Relax,” he whispered, his husky voice soft and gentle. He touched his finger to her clit, rubbing back and forth in a gentle motion until she begged him with her body to go deeper. He slid his finger inside her with deliberate slowness, taking his time, waiting for her to push him deeper with her hips. She did. Once he’d gone as far as was possible, he pumped his finger in and out, all the while rubbing her clit with his thumb. The clouds opened up, and she saw heaven, pure heaven. Only the streets weren’t paved with gold, they were paved with Zach’s kind eyes and crooked smile, much better than rooms full of gold and designer clothes.

  Kelsie tossed her head back and forth on the pillows, so very near to coming. To going to that heaven she’d only glimpsed. Chewing on her lower lip, the explosion built inside her. One more circular rub of his thumb launched her straight to that heaven at the speed of light—or was that lust. Zach held his finger inside her, waiting until she floated back to earth.

  Lost in the haze of an incredible orgasm, Kelsie lay boneless and spent. She’d never experienced such an incredible high and only with a man’s finger. But not just any man. Zach. Proud, stubborn, sexy Zach. And for now, her Zach.

  Zach shifted off the bed and shucked off his jeans. He fished a condom out of his pocket, ripped it open with his teeth, and rolled it down over his cock. Turning to her, he pulled down her underwear and discarded it.

  “You came prepared?” She smiled up at him, and he smiled back.

  His grin spread from cheek to cheek, revealing dimples she’d never seen before. He crawled back on the bed, between her legs. He ran his naked body up hers until his chest hair tickled her nipples and his breath fanned her hot cheeks. “I need you, Kelsie.” He spoke as if asking permission. His voice betrayed the strain of holding back.

  He needed her. Her? He needed her? The poor man had no idea what he was getting into.

  The lid on her baggage opened a crack, and claustrophobia and panic threatened to escape. No. No. No. She wouldn’t hurt Zach like that again. Kelsie tucked her insecurities back inside, slammed the lid shut, and latched the suitcase. She locked it and threw away the key. With a welcoming smile, she gazed up at Zach, as a woman who’d battled her demons and won. Set free and ready to tackle the next chapter in her life.

  “I’m yours,” she said, and she meant it. She touched Zach’s face with her finger, ran it down his stubble, even though he’d shaved several hours ago, it still darkened his jaw. This was a man. All man. And for now, her man.

  Zach pushed her legs
apart and guided his cock into the slick, wet opening recently occupied by his clever and talented index finger. He shuddered, closed his eyes for a moment, as if savoring it and filing it away for the future.

  She’d bet her beauty queen crowns the man’s cock was even more clever than his finger. He took it slow, giving her time to adjust to him physically and emotionally. Sure, she’d been with other men before her marriage to Mark, including some older, experienced men, but Zach was different. She didn’t know why, but sometimes words didn’t do feelings justice, even the words in her head.

  When Zach’s penis rested inside her fully, the head rubbed against her deepest spaces. She’d never had a man this large or this gentle and caring. Even sweet. He filled her body and he filled her mind and soul. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held him to her, pushing him deeper by adjusting the angle of her hips. He stared down at her, holding himself up by his arms so he didn’t crush her with his large, muscular body. His face reflected deep concern even as she read the tension of holding back emblazoned on the creases around his lips and eyes.

  “Make love to me, Zach.”

  He nodded, his lips tightened, his eyes hooded. He withdrew then thrust back inside, with an easy, steady rhythm obviously designed to maintain control over his body. Kelsie didn’t want control. She wanted Zach, the man. She wanted the passion he showed for football directed at her, given to her. She wanted to be more desirable to him than a coveted Super Bowl ring.

  Kelsie buried her fingers in his hair and kissed him as if he held the key to eternal youth. Maybe he did. He kissed her back and the wilder their mouths mated the wilder their bodies followed until his controlled thrusts exploded into a wild frenzy of thrusting hips and sweaty bodies punctuated by groans from him and whimpers from her.

  Kelsie’s body swept her mind into another wild ride, only this time Zach traveled with her. Higher and higher they climbed, like bungee jumpers riding a tram to the top of the cliff, and then they jumped off together, clinging to each other in a moment so intense neither was certain they’d survive, so they held on, determined to make a few seconds last a lifetime. When they hit the end of the cord, they didn’t die but bounded along, drawing out the pleasure, until only a gentle swaying remained.