The best thing about Arlene, aside from all the candy she kept in the house, was that she seemed to have no sense of time. It was close to eleven when they got home from the wedding, and well past midnight when Natalie’s mother called, but Arlene didn’t even notice. She gave them potato chips and Cokes and left them in front of the television with no mention of bedtime. “Have fun, kids,” she told them. “Don’t stay up too late.” Natalie’s mother would have said it was already past too late and that the kitchen was closed until morning.
“Ever watch The Twilight Zone?” Johnny asked. She shook her head. “I don’t usually stay up this late,” she said. “Do you?”
“Just on the weekends,” he admitted.
She didn’t like the show. It frightened her, but she didn’t want Johnny to think she was a baby, so she didn’t say anything. He got the idea after she hid her face behind a throw pillow from the couch. He moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder. Her heart was pounding. “Nat? Are you scared?” All she could manage was a quick nod from behind the pillow. When he pulled it away, he saw that she was crying. “Aw, Nat, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you watch this junk.” He brushed away a few tears with his fingertips. They were softer than she expected. For a few moments he just stared at her, and Natalie didn’t know what to do. She felt like she shouldn’t move, and then Johnny leaned his face closer to hers. When he kissed her, it felt as natural as writing her name. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered. “I promise everything’s going to be okay.”
She didn’t know if it was Johnny’s first kiss, but it was hers. Maybe she should have felt awkward or embarrassed, but she didn’t. She knew he was kissing her more out of sympathy than desire, and she knew it wasn’t going to go any further. “I’m not scared anymore,” she told him. She knew he would understand what she meant. She had known him all her life.
Johnny put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. They sat like that, watching repeats of old cartoons, until three in the morning, and when they were done he showed her where the extra blankets were in the guestroom. When she got into bed, it was with mixed feelings about her day. Some of it had been awful and some of it terrifying, but the last few hours with Johnny had managed to soften those parts so she was able to push them out of her mind. She had forgotten to ask for a toothbrush, so she fell asleep with the taste of potato chips and Coca-Cola on her tongue.
Chapter 57
HELEN
The first thing Helen thought of once Dr. Beineke told her that Abe would be all right was that she had been lying to him for thirteen years. In all that time, she had never thought of herself as a liar. But when she saw Abe in the doorway of the coatroom, when she realized just how much she wanted him not to understand the argument she and Rose were having, she understood for the first time her complicity in a terrible deception.
A few years earlier Helen had read an article in the newspaper about a man whose wife discovered he had a second family—another wife and two kids living only an hour away from their home. He had been keeping it secret for fifteen years, telling each of the wives that he had to travel half the week for work. A simple receipt from the dry cleaner had given him away.
Like everyone else she knew, Helen had been horrified by the story. She hadn’t been able to fathom how anyone could keep such an important secret from the people he claimed to love. In her mind she bore no resemblance whatsoever to the man with two families. But now, sitting in Abe’s hospital room, saturated with guilt, Helen struggled to distinguish her actions from those she had read about. She hadn’t planned what had happened. She hadn’t been motivated by lust or greed. She was different. Wasn’t she?
By the end of Abe’s second day in the hospital, Sol finally convinced her to leave for a few hours. The boys had gone home, and Natalie was staying over at Sol and Arlene’s.
“Take a shower, change your clothes. Lemme drive you. You need a break from this place for a while,” Sol told her.
“But he’s barely opened his eyes.”
“He’s gonna be fine,” Sol tried to reassure her. “You heard what the doctors said. They gave him enough medicine to knock out an elephant. His body needs to rest. But he’ll be fine.”
“I just want him to talk to me.” Helen didn’t tell Sol how afraid she was of what Abe might say when he finally did speak, of what he might ask.
“He will, just give him a little time, is all.”
“Let’s just wait until Mort gets here. Then we can go. I don’t want to leave Abe alone.”
Sol patted her hand. “Whatever you want. We’ll wait.”
Helen was grateful for Sol’s support, but she wished he wouldn’t make himself so conspicuous at the hospital. After Abe’s condition stabilized, Sol had brought in a flower arrangement so large it wouldn’t even fit on the bedside table. The next day, he arrived with a ten-pound cookie platter, wrapped in colored cellophane and ribbons. Helen made him leave it at the nurse’s station.
Mort’s visits were peaceful by comparison. It was Mort who helped her navigate the maze of doctors and nurses handling Abe’s care. It was Mort who dealt with the paperwork and the endless hospital forms. If Helen ever doubted his devotion to Abe before the heart attack, she could not doubt it in the days that followed.
That evening Mort arrived a few minutes after eight. It was a Monday, and he had been at the office to make sure everything was running smoothly. All of the staff and customers had to be notified of Abe’s condition. Helen knew how little Mort cared for prolonged conversation with people, so she was not surprised to see him looking exhausted.
Sol stood up and shook Mort’s hand. “Listen,” he said, “I’m going to take Helen home for a little while. Let her get some things and grab a change of clothes. We’ll be a few hours, tops, but she doesn’t want Abe to be left alone. Will you stay until we get back?”
“Of course,” Mort answered.
“Sol,” Helen interjected, “I need to talk to Mort. Give us a few minutes?”
“Take as long as you want. I’ll get myself a cup of coffee.” He left the room, whistling.
Mort looked nervous. “Did the doctors find anything else? What’s wrong?”
“No, no nothing has changed. He just … he hasn’t spoken yet.”
“Sure, he has; yesterday he opened his eyes and said your name. We both saw it. And when the nurse asked if he was thirsty, he nodded and sipped some water from the glass she gave him.”
“I know he said a few words,” Helen backtracked, “but not even a real sentence. And then he fell asleep again.”
“Well, he isn’t fully awake yet. They’re giving him a lot of sedatives.”
“But he might start talking tonight, when I’m not here.”
“It’s unlikely. I just saw Dr. Marcus on my way in and he said—”
“I know. I know it probably won’t happen. But if it does, if he talks to you when I’m gone, I just…”
“What is it?”
Helen started to cry. “Before Abe had the heart attack, Rose and I were arguing in the coatroom. We were both yelling, and I’m not sure what he heard or didn’t hear, and…”
“Don’t worry. Abe’s heard the two of you argue before.”
“But that was why he got so upset, and then—”
Mort was firm. “Our father had his first heart attack when he was thirty-five, Helen. It runs in the family. You know that. It’s not your fault.”
She was grateful for Mort’s trust, but she didn’t think she deserved it. “Please, Mort,” she begged him, “if I’m not here and he starts talking, please keep him calm. The doctors say he can’t have any stress.”
“I’ll take care of him. I promise.”
“I know you will. You’re a good brother.” Only later did it occur to Helen that it was the first time she had ever told him that.
* * *
When Sol pulled into Helen’s driveway, the whole house was dark. It didn’t feel like her home. Other than the so
und of Sol’s breathing, everything was quiet. Natalie was with Arlene, and the boys were all at Harry and Barbara’s place. She was at a loss.
“Want me to make you some scrambled eggs?” she asked Sol, once they were inside.
“Two days sitting in the hospital, and you think I drove you home for you to make me eggs?”
“Of course not, but we’re here and you must be hungry.”
“How about you go upstairs and take a shower and I make you eggs? How about that?”
Helen laughed for the first time since the wedding. “You’re going to cook for me?”
“I know my way around the kitchen.”
She shook her head. “I’m not hungry and you should go home.” When he protested, she opened the front door and practically pushed him through it. “I’ll call you if I need you. I promise.”
Upstairs, the silence overwhelmed her. She turned on every light in the hallway and her bedroom. What if Abe knows? Does he think I’m a monster? Will he want to tell the children?
She went into Abe’s drawers and made a small pile of pajamas, socks and underwear to bring to the hospital. She forced herself not to think while she showered and dressed. But afterward, when there was nothing else to do, when she had run out of tasks to complete, she lay down on the bed and turned toward the place where Abe should have been. She lay there, blanketed in remorse, until she fell asleep.
An hour later, the phone rang. It was one of the nurses from the hospital. Abe was awake.
Chapter 58
ABE
When Abe opened his eyes, the first face he saw was Mort’s.
“Abe, can you hear me?” Mort’s mouth was moving, but it took a few moments for the sound of his voice to catch up.
“I can hear you.” Abe started to lift his head, but Mort stopped him. “Slowly,” he told him. “Let me get the nurse before you move.” Mort walked to the doorway and called down the hall. “Nurse! He’s awake!”
“Helen will be back soon,” Mort told him. “How do you feel?”
“Tired,” Abe answered, struggling to keep his eyes open.
“The doctors keep telling us how strong you are. You had a heart attack, but they say you’ll be fine.”
“How many days ago…?”
“Just a few. It’s Monday. You were admitted Saturday night.”
“Too many lamb chops,” Abe murmured, and then he closed his eyes.
* * *
He was dreaming that he was back at the hotel, in the hallway outside the coatroom. Helen and Rose were arguing, something about Natalie. Rose didn’t like what Natalie was wearing. She didn’t like her own dress either. Helen said there was nothing she could do about it. “But you took my dress,” Rose yelled. “Give it back to me!” “It’s mine,” Helen told her. “You can’t have it.” Rose wouldn’t let it go, and the screaming became louder. “You have two dresses and I have none. You were supposed to give one of them to me. But you never let that happen!” After that, Abe woke up.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was that Helen had been crying. She was holding his hand. “Whaddya crying for?” he whispered. He tried to smile, but his mouth was so dry that he started to cough.
Helen brought a cup of water to his lips.
“You’re beautiful,” he told her.
“Oh my God, Abe…” She choked back her sobs.
“What’s the matter?” He coughed a few more times. “Can’t take a compliment?”
“You’re crazy.” Helen squeezed his hand and kissed his face over and over. “Don’t cry,” he told her again, but it seemed like she couldn’t stop. He listened to her breathing and felt her tears on his cheeks. “Shh,” he whispered. But he didn’t think she could hear him.
After several minutes, Helen finally lifted her head away from his. She took a tissue from her purse and wiped her tears from his face, then from her own. She looked into his eyes like she was searching for something, but Abe didn’t have the slightest idea what she was trying to find. She looked frightened. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” It was all he could think of to say. “They said I’m okay. Healthy as a horse.” He wanted to comfort her, but the more he said, the tighter her grip became. I must have really scared her.
When she finally spoke, her voice was unclear and murmured. It sounded like she was apologizing, but Abe stopped her before she could go on.
“You don’t need to be sorry. I’m the one who did a belly flop on the hotel carpet right in the middle of the wedding.”
“Do you remember anything?”
“Only a little bit. Natalie came into the ballroom—it looked like she’d been crying. She said you were by the coatroom talking to Rose, so I went to get you.”
“And after that?”
“The last thing I remember is Rose yelling at you.”
“Do you remember what she said?”
“Just yelling, her dress, your dress, Natalie’s dress—who knows. She always has something to yell about.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s it.”
“Oh Abe, I’m so sorry.” Helen’s voice cracked and she broke down. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault that this happened. If I hadn’t confronted Rose, we wouldn’t have been arguing and you wouldn’t have had the heart attack.…”
“Shh. It’s not your fault. Listen to me. You had nothing to do with it. It would have happened anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Listen for a minute. I didn’t want to tell you but I wasn’t feeling so great on Friday, the day before the wedding. I couldn’t breathe so well at work and I had a couple of pains.”
“Pains?”
“Chest pains, and running down my arm, just a little bit.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to make a fuss right before the wedding. I was gonna go to the doctor on Monday. I guess it wasn’t such a good plan.”
Abe expected her to scold him, to tell him how stubborn and foolish he had been for neglecting his health. Instead, Helen threw her arms around him and held him close. He shut his eyes and felt the gentle rhythm of her breath against his cheek. In a few minutes, he fell back asleep.
Chapter 59
ROSE
Rose was disappointed that her aunt Faye hadn’t been able to come to New York for Mimi’s wedding. Faye’s husband, Stuart, had died a few years earlier, and after that Faye had stopped coming north for visits. Faye called the week before the wedding to wish Rose mazel tov, but Rose didn’t like the way she sounded. “Can you believe I caught a cold in Florida in May?” she coughed. It was the last thing Rose ever heard her say.
When the lawyer called the Monday after the wedding, Rose couldn’t believe that Faye was gone. At that point she hadn’t seen her aunt in more than two years.
The lawyer had a lot of information to go over with her. “I’ll be sending you the details in the mail, but your aunt’s will is very clear. She left her house and her entire residuary estate to you.”
“I’m not familiar with the legal terms. What does that mean?”
“Well, aside from some charitable bequests and specific bequests of tangible property—jewelry and other mementos—Faye left you the rest of everything she owned, including her house, bank accounts and stock portfolios.”
“What about my cousins in California? Her will must mention them?”
“The will lists all other possible heirs by name, including your cousins, but it states clearly that you are the only one to inherit the bulk of the estate.”
Rose had almost no contact with her cousins. None of them had flown to New York for the wedding, and none of them had sent Mimi a gift. Still, she wondered what they would think of her getting all of Aunt Faye’s money. She doubted they would be happy for her. “Did Faye say why?”
“The will states that you were the niece who took the most interest in her, and the only one with whom she had regular contact. However, your aunt also left a handwritten
letter on file with us, giving more explicit reasons. She referenced the loss of your son several years ago and her hope that this money might bring you some measure of happiness.”
Rose couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Well, thank you very much for your time.”
“There is one additional matter. Faye made a personal bequest to one of your relatives.” Rose could hear the shuffling of papers in the background. “Here it is. Your niece, I believe. Natalie. I was hoping you could provide me with an address and phone number for her.”
“Natalie?” Rose was stunned.
“It seems Faye met her at your home and was quite taken with her.”
“What did she give her?”
“I’ll read it to you: ‘To Natalie Berman, the niece of my niece Rose Berman, I hereby give and bequeath my Cartier platinum and diamond earrings. I hope she will enjoy them and keep them to remember me by.’”
“Diamond earrings?”
“Yes.”
“You realize Natalie is only thirteen years old?”
“I’m sure the girl’s parents will keep them for her until—”
Rose cut him off. “Thank you for your time.”
“About that address—”
Rose hung up the phone before the lawyer could finish. Let him find the address from someone else. She was furious. Natalie again! What made her so damned special? Rose flung the phone across the room.
“What was that?” Judith called down the stairs when she heard the noise. She was home for a few more weeks before she returned to Boston for her summer research position.
“Nothing,” Rose answered, trying to sound undisturbed. “I dropped the phone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Everything’s fine.”
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