Crazy Madly Deeply

by Lily White

  Thinking back, I remembered the conversation I had with Holden about Delilah. It pained me to remember how upset he’d been when telling me about her problems. “He said she was afraid to go outside. And that she wouldn’t seek treatment for her injuries. He also said that she never matured beyond the date her parents died and that she waited for them to come home despite being told they’d died.” Pausing, I tried to remember all of it, a detail floating up that I didn’t think was important, but caused Dr. Silva’s eyebrows to lift when hearing it. “He also said Delilah had moments where she spaced out entirely. Like she was awake, but not there, if you know what I mean?”

  Scratching at his chin, he sat up in his seat. “That’s interesting. It almost sounds like he’s transferring his own symptoms onto his perceived sister.” Dr. Silva sighed, “I’m not a psychologist, by any means. My specialty is neurology. But if there is a physical cause to his problem, I should be able to find it. I just need his cooperation.”

  I sat back in my seat. “How can he not know Delilah is dead? Wasn’t there a body? I mean, death is a physical thing. There is undeniable evidence. How can a mind just skip over that?”

  He locked his eyes with mine. “Holden never saw the body. He was contacted by phone regarding his sister’s passing. Unfortunately, it happened when I wasn’t at the hospital to intervene. By the time I learned of Delilah’s death, Holden had already been informed and asked to make arrangements for the body. The hospital never heard from him again. I tried calling him several times and even went to his house to speak to him, but he never answered the door. After a week, I grew concerned and contacted the police for a wellness check. They did very little to confirm he was of sound mind. After that, my hands were tied. It’s like I said, as physicians, we’re given very few options unless a person is a threat to themselves or others. So, after the police contacted me to say they’d met with him and determined he wasn’t a legal threat, I contacted social services. They couldn’t help me either.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. “Do you think he snapped or something? When he learned she passed?”

  His lips pulled into a thin line. “Possibly. I’m not sure. He may have suffered another seizure from the stress of learning she passed, and the seizure may have caused another head injury if he fell. Or, this could have nothing to do physically with his brain, but have everything to do with an emotional response. Unless I speak to him and conduct testing, I won’t know for sure.”

  The tears slid down my cheeks. “What happened to Delilah’s body?”

  Sitting back in his seat, he scrubbed his palm down his face. “She would have been cremated and disposed of in a pauper’s grave.”

  “A what?”

  “It’s a field where the ashes of unclaimed bodies are spread together as a mass burial. There are no plots or markers. I couldn’t let that happen to her...or to Holden. So, I pulled some strings that weren’t exactly legal and paid to have the body cremated. I’ve held onto the ashes hoping that Holden would come forward someday to ask for them.”

  “Thank you for that,” I croaked. Barely able to breathe past the sorrow invading every cell in my body, I asked, “What do we do next? And what about the other issues?”

  Dr. Silva sighed again, the long exhalation of air pregnant with a toxic mix of emotions. “We tell Holden. And we convince him to let me help him by testing to see what is causing the hallucinations. As to the other issues, I don’t know what can be done. I’ve been trying to get help for years, an investigation into a town that seems to have several problems.” His gaze met mine. “Do you know anything about the parties in the town? The ones thrown by the high school students.”

  Grimacing, I swiped a tear from my cheek and nodded my head. “Yes. I’ve been to many of them. My ex-boyfriend, the one whose disappearance is being blamed on Holden, he often bought drugs for the parties. Why?”

  A stern line cut the skin between his eyes. “Did you see anything unusual at those parties? Anything that concerned you?”

  Nodding again, I confessed, “The drugs were used on the girls in order to get them in bed. I didn’t fully understand exactly what was happening until I’d almost graduated high school. I thought the girls were consenting, but now, I’m not so sure. Jack and his friends started...”

  My body shuddered to think about what I’d witnessed.

  “His friends made it a game to pass the girls around, without their permission.”

  “That’s what I thought. I was told by a friend of mine in the clinic that girls had arrived needing pregnancy tests and requesting STD tests. They’d admitted they weren’t exactly sure who they’d slept with. My friend pushed for them to go to the police, but the girls were frightened. They didn’t believe anybody would help them. I called the State Police several times to ask them to investigate, but without a girl willing to come forward, they said they couldn’t help.”

  A light bulb went off over my head, an idea that would benefit not just the town, but Holden and me, as well. “I could come forward. And I already have a friend contacting other girls to come forward, too. But could we get it started with just me? I know a lot more than even the girls that were used. Jack would never let me do the drugs they gave the other girls, so I was always aware and saw more than they thought I saw.”

  He scratched his chin, a habit I noticed meant he was considering some thought. “It could be a starting point, perhaps enough to get the State Police to look into the local police. If you could find more girls that were actually victims, then that would be helpful.”

  Nodding, I said, “I’ll work on it as soon as Holden and I are home. Anything to stop the town from hurting him more. He didn’t have anything to do with Jack’s disappearance.”

  Wrinkling his brow, he appeared to have more questions, but chose not to ask them. Instead, he glanced at his watch. “We should go see if Holden’s been released. I think speaking to him first is the best step for us to take now.”

  Standing, he extended a hand to help me from my seat, and with his hand lightly on my back, he led me from the room. By the time we reached Holden’s door, it was to find the police gone, the door open and Angela and the attorney standing inside quietly speaking to Holden.

  Angela turned as we approached, her fingers lightly touching the attorney’s arm. “I think we should give these two a minute alone.”

  Mr. Grinshaw glanced my direction before nodding his head.

  As soon as he moved, my eyes locked with Holden’s. I couldn’t stop the tears that came on like a deluge of all the fear, sorrow, worry and pain I felt inside.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Holden

  Seeing Michaela for the first time since my arrest was a balm smoothed over the fire that raged inside me. Just her presence would have been enough to calm me completely, if not for the expression on her beautiful face. Part sorrow, part elation, part worry and concern. Every emotion ran behind her eyes, a constant cascade of competing thoughts and feelings that I couldn’t look away from while Angela and Mr. Grinshaw cleared the room.

  As they walked out, Michaela walked in, the door closing as another familiar man came into view, choosing to remain in the hall with the others and give me a moment alone with Michaela. From the brief glimpse, I saw that Dr. Silva had aged over the two years since we last spoke.

  “How are you feeling?”

  The moment her hand touched mine, I pulled her forward, ignoring the surprised shriek that fell over her lips as I wrapped my arms fully around her body and hugged her to my chest. Just feeling the movement of her back as she breathed was enough to send waves of relief surging through me. Just smelling the scent of my shampoo in her hair reminded me of how happy I had been in the weeks we’d spent together. There were genuine tears in my eyes as I tightened my hold on a woman who proved me wrong about her heart. Guilt raced through my veins for everything I’d believed about her before the day she shirked the costume that her family had forced on her to reveal the beauty of her soul.
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  “Hey,” I whispered.

  Her body shuddered with silent sobs. Her shoulders withering as her body relaxed against me. “Hey,” she whispered back, her voice broken by tears.

  Pressing my lips against the side of her head, I squeezed tighter, not caring if she couldn’t breathe. I wanted her to know she meant everything to me, wanted her to feel the strength of my arms, the heat of my body, the beat of my heart that was only meant for her. Michaela may have been weak before the night Jack died, but she was a warrior now, a woman who had convinced me she would handle a situation that could have ended me, despite whether I deserved it.

  “How are you?” I asked, my voice low, my chest vibrating with the baritone words.

  Laughter infected her response, “I asked you first. And could you let me go just a little bit? I might die from lack of oxygen.”

  Releasing her just enough that she could pull her legs up to lay beside me, I grabbed her hips, tugging her into place until she was straddled over my lap.

  “Holden! Your leg!”

  “Is fine,” I answered, my palm cupping her cheek as my eyes trapped hers. “Any pain I feel pales in comparison to the way I feel about you right now.” Pausing, I searched her face, lingering in the beautiful light that shone from her eyes. “Has anybody ever told you how amazing you are?”

  Genuine shock flashed across her features, her whispered response fracturing my heart. “I’m not amazing. I don’t even know what I’m doing half the time.”

  Gripping her thigh, I squeezed a touch too hard. “You just stuck up for yourself and for me against an entire police department. You called in the cavalry, and if I’m not mistaken, I assume you have another plan up your sleeve.”

  Her lips quirked with a smile. “Maybe, a little one.”

  I needed to taste her, to hold her, to smell her and love her. After Delilah, she was the first person to stick up for me, the first to have faith in me, the first to look past the labels our town had glued on me to see that, like everybody else, I had hopes and dreams. She encouraged me to be a better person. She showed me how easy it was to let go of what you’d been in the past to become the person you were meant to be.

  Maybe amazing was too simple a word. She was a force all on her own. She was astounding. She was an incredible soul trapped in a world of people trying to tear each other down.

  “Are you going to kiss me, or what?” I asked, my eyes refusing to let hers go.

  “I shouldn’t be in the bed with you like this,” she teased, her expression in direct contrast to her words. Leaning forward, she swept her lips against mine, never deepening the kiss until my hand moved from her cheek to her back, pulling her closer, demanding more.

  But like any beautiful moment that lifts the spirit to heights beyond reason, it had to end, both our hearts and bodies crashing down to reality, our entangled souls ripped apart by the words of a woman who hadn’t meant to cause harm.

  “And here I thought you couldn’t live without me,” Angela sniffed. “It looks like I’ve been replaced.”

  Male laughter followed her words, Michaela and I staring at each other with her long hair cascading down into a curtain blocking our view of the door.

  “I swear, I just can’t win. Downgraded from suspect to nuisance, and now I’m being forced to step aside for another woman. This is ridiculous.”

  Laughter shook my chest, Michaela’s smile lighting the shadows across her face.

  A deep voice answered Angela. “Normally, I wouldn’t recommend two people in a hospital bed, but perhaps in this instance I can look the other way long enough for the situation to be corrected.”

  Recognizing that voice, I released Michaela to allow her to climb down, my head rolling over the pillow so I could meet the eyes of a man I hadn’t seen in two years. He’d been a friend as well as a doctor, another person in my life who cared for me beyond what I’d believed I deserved. Scouring my mind, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to him, but perhaps that was a consequence of the pain and turmoil of the accidents that had injured Deli and me, and had killed our parents.

  “Dr. Silva. It’s been a long time.”

  Michaela stepped away to allow Dr. Silva to approach my bed. He shook my hand and snuck a peek at the monitors above my head. “It looks like you’re well enough to go home. As long as your pain is manageable and you can get around on that leg, I can have your attending physician begin the discharge process.”

  “That would be great,” I answered, my eyes closing briefly as I looked forward to being back in my bed. “I can’t wait to get home and help Del clean up the mess the police made of her room.”

  Every person in the room went still, their expressions equally unreadable as I opened my eyes and glanced between them. Closing the door softly, Angela grabbed two chairs and dragged them to my bed. She and Michaela sat down, Michaela’s hand crushing mine while Angela softly brushed her palm over my shoulder.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, my brows tugging together, my eyes looking between Angela, Dr. Silva and Michaela. The attorney remained in the back of the room, notably silent.

  Dr. Silva cleared his throat. “We have something we need to discuss with you, Holden. And I won’t lie, it’s going to be difficult for you to hear and accept. It concerns your sister.”

  The machine above my head jacked up its pace, the beeping like a warning that a bomb would explode at any second. Dr. Silva glanced up at the machine, his eyes meeting mine again.

  “What’s wrong with Del?” I asked, my eyes seeing Angela’s gaze. “You told me she was fine. You said she-“

  “I told you she was the same as she had been before you were arrested. I didn’t lie, but I couldn’t tell you everything I’d learned before Dr. Silva arrived.”

  The beeping increased further, and Dr. Silva stood from his seat to silence the monitors. After sitting again, he breathed in deeply, expelling the air before opening his mouth to explain, “Holden, I’m afraid you have been suffering from a delusion for the past two years, and I don’t know any other way to say this than to just spit it out.”

  Pausing, he looked between Michaela and Angela before returning his gaze to me. Angela kept her hand on my shoulder. Michaela squeezed her fingers over mine. Dr. Silva swallowed hard before finally admitting what he’d come to tell me.

  “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your sister passed away a few weeks after her accident.”

  My head shook, the denial instantaneous. “No. That’s impossible. Why are you telling me this?”

  Concern flashed behind his eyes. “Holden, I have her ashes. I saved them for you, but you have to listen to what I’m saying. I would never lie to you.”

  What?

  No.

  He was lying.

  I was dreaming.

  Delilah wasn’t dead.

  I’d talked to her, laughed with her, taken care of her since she’d come home from the hospital.

  “Holden...?”

  She had issues, yes, but she was alive.

  Why were they doing this?

  Had everyone turned against me?

  Reality crashed down until I understood that this moment was nothing but a lie.

  Was I hallucinating?

  Was this all a nightmare keeping me tethered?

  Had I really been shot in the leg, or had the bullet struck my head?

  “Holden, please, talk to us...”

  Was I dead already?

  Was this a figment of my imagination?

  “Holden Bishop, you need to talk to us...”

  No.

  No.

  No.

  “He needs medical attention. Someone go get a nurse...”

  Why?

  What was happening?

  How could they do something so terribly cruel?

  “Give him Ativan to calm him down. We have to get his vitals under control...”

  No.

  Not Delilah.

  Not my sister.

  Not
the little girl I’d always kept safe.

  Not the girl who always made me smile.

  Not a soul too beautiful for this world.

  Not the only person I’d ever admired.

  Hold him down!

  Not her.

  “NO!”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Michaela

  Even from two blocks away, I could hear the chaos erupting in the woods stretched along the train tracks leading from the servants’ quarters into the main strip of Tranquil Falls. Lights flashed against the clear night sky, the winter chill still permeating the air, frosting the dormant branches of the trees that had finished shedding last spring’s leaves. Like skeletal fingers reaching for those lights, the barren branches pointed toward the muted shouts between police officers.

  They’d found Jack’s body.

  Three weeks had passed since the night Holden and I were taken into custody, twenty-one horrific days where I’d kept an eye on a man who was bouncing back and forth between reality and delusion. He’d returned to work for Angela despite the lingering pain in his leg, and I’d taken a job with her as well, if for nothing more than to keep him in my sight, always ready for the moment he broke down and accepted his sister was dead.

  It was fortunate that we’d both taken tonight off for a little rest after the events that had shaken Holden to the core. And while he painted in his studio to calm his chaotic mind, I sat on the porch outside his back door staring at the lights in the distance.

  Unsure what would happen now that they’d discovered Jack’s body, I sipped a cup of warm tea that was cooling quickly against the night air. If not for the state police’s involvement, I’d worry that Holden’s house would be surrounded again, another late night intrusion that would destroy him.