One Coffin Too Many

by Brendan O'Grady

  “ Are you coming in tomorrow or rather later today? “

  “ Not if I can help it, Angela. Why? “

  “ I just thought you’d like to go over a few things – just the two of us. It’ll be quiet in the station today. “

  “ First, I’m going back to bed. Then after a good snooze I’m going to prepare a nice meal for Sienna. Then later…”

  Devoy paused.

  “ You’re going to suggest something, aren’t you? “

  “ I was thinking. Why don’t all three of us go to that new restaurant out by the sea. It’ll be my treat. Sort of a homecoming for Sienna. “

  Devoy paused and weighed up the prospect of cooking.

  “ You’ve got a deal, Angela. I’ll tell Sienna when she wakes up or rather when she wakes me up. I just hope they’ve hamburgers on the menu and lots of Italian ice cream. “

  “ I’m sure they have. Why? “

  “ That’s all teenagers seem to eat these days. Hamburgers. “

  “ Then it’s a date, then. I’ll come by after twelve. “

  ✽✽✽

  PART II

  CHAPTER 13

  Monday

  Devoy strode into the reception area of the station just after eight. The desk sergeant was on the phone trying to calm somebody down and when he spotted Devoy he waved him over.

  Devoy heard him say: yes, he’s here. He’s just walked in. Hold on, please.

  “ What’s up, sergeant? “

  The desk sergeant cupped the receiver.

  “ Do you know a guy called Wade, Inspector. Says he knows you. Says he’s the caretaker at the cemetery. “

  “ I do. Why? “

  “ The man’s having a nervous breakdown. He says he has to speak to you urgently. “

  “ Very well, then, Sergeant. Give me the phone. “

  “ Inspector Devoy here. What’s up, Wade? “

  “ The coffin. It’s gone! “

  “ What do you mean it’s gone? The bloody thing weighs a ton according to Kennedy. How the hell could it have disappeared? You’re the only one with the fucking key to the mausoleum, you prick. What? I’ll call you whatever I want. Do you hear me? I’ll have you up for aiding and abetting and anything else I can think of. And don’t you give me any lip. Understand? Now you get onto your boss and tell him to get a replacement for you right away. You’re in deep, deep shit, Mr. Wade and I’m placing you under arrest. Better ask your wife to prepare a change of clothes for you. You’re going to have a holiday at the state’s expense. I’ll see you in ten minutes. And you better be there if you know what’s good for you. Got that? Good. And one more thing, Mr. Wade. You‘d better be able to account for every moment of your time since we last saw you. “

  The Desk Sergeant gave Devoy a questioning look.

  “ Is something up, Inspector Devoy? “

  “ Yes, a coffin has gone missing Sergeant. I’m going to get myself a coffee. I want you to send a detail of four men in a patrol car up to the cemetery right away. I want it sealed off. They’ll find the

  caretaker waiting for me. He lives in a cottage facing the cemetery. I want him placed under arrest and held in his home until I get there. Nothing, I repeat nothing, is to be removed from his home. If the press turn up they are to be ignored until I get there. Is that understood? “

  The sergeant nodded.

  “ Anything else? “

  “ Yes, Detective Moore. Has she come in yet? “

  “ I haven’t seen her yet, Inspector. “

  “ Right. Get onto her and tell her to meet me at the cemetery. “

  “ And where will you be, Inspector? “

  “ I’ll be there shortly after I’ve had a coffee. “

  “ Right, sir. “

  “ Oh, one more thing. “

  “ Yes, sir. “

  “ Is Superintendent Sullivan in yet? “

  The Desk Sergeant shook his head.

  “ No, Inspector. I don’t think he is. “

  “ Well, when you see him ask him to get in contact with me right away. “

  “ Yes, sir. I’ll do that. I’ll send the men right away. “

  Devoy made his way down the corridor and stopped outside Sullivan’s office. He listened for a while and then knocked on the door. There was no answer. He tried the handle. The door was locked. Devoy continued on to his own office. When he went inside he sat down and tried to figure out what was happening. Christ, he thought to himself, it never stops, does it. He tried to relax. He then opened the bottom drawer and took out his kettle and private stash of expensive coffee. He made himself a coffee and while he was drinking it the door opened. He looked up. Detective Angela Moore was standing there.

  “ Spare a cup for a plain brunette colleague, Inspector? “ she asked.

  Devoy started laughing.

  “ You’re making my day, Angela. “

  “ And I’m not a blonde. I must be making progress. “

  “ Let me make you a coffee, Angela. “

  Detective Moore sat down and yawned.

  “ I just heard, “ she said. “ There was little point in going to the cemetery seeing as I had just pulled into the parking unless you want me to go there right away. “

  “ No, leave it. I’ve sent a patrol car there with four men. Wade’s under arrest. Let them sweat him for a while. The guy’s a useless prick. “

  “ He may be but don’t forget there are two other keys missing. “

  “ Yeah, I’m aware of that: Cremin’s and Marshall’s.

  “ And Marshall can’t find his? “

  “ Says he can’t but I wonder. I’d love to grill him, him and his wife. But I was told to treat them with kid gloves. We’ll have to get Sullivan in on this. I want his name on everything from now on. We’re getting into deep water now. “

  “ And where is he? “

  “ Who? Sullivan? God only knows? He’s not in his office as usual but that’s par for the course. Have you been keeping him up to date with progress reports? “

  “ He got one every day along with a text message advising him of such. “

  “ That’s great, Angela. I’d be lost without you. “

  “ Would you? “ she asked cryptically.

  Devoy gave her a puzzled look.

  “ Of course I would, Angela. You know that. “

  Something told Devoy he was on the wrong track. He looked at her and she stared him back straight in the eye.

  Devoy made her a coffee and passed the mug to her. As she took it from him she held onto his hand a little longer than she should have. He didn’t resist.

  “ That’s comforting, Angela. “ he replied. “ Very comforting. “

  “ I’m available when you need me. “ she said cryptically.

  Her remark threw him. He stood up and went over to the window to break the spell.

  “ Damn it. “ he said. “ This has thrown a spanner in the works. We’re going to have our work cut out for us today. When Costello and the Justice types hear about this there’ll be hell to pay. “

  “ Who’s going to tell them? “

  “ Well seeing as Sullivan isn’t here it’ll have to be me. Finish your coffee and we’ll head up to the cemetery. “

  In the car on the way to the cemetery he tried to avoid her gaze. There were both silent as if expecting something to happen, something other than police work. He had noticed it yesterday in the restaurant with Sienna. Angela had been observing him all during the meal and smiling at him.

  “ I really enjoyed myself yesterday, Frank. I hope Sienna did? “

  “ Oh, there’s no doubt about that, Angela. She really enjoyed herself. She likes you a lot, you know. She never stops talking about you. You’re like a second …”

  Devoy stopped himself.

  “ You were going to say like ‘ second mother ‘ weren’t you, Frank? “

  Devoy nodded.

  “ Why did you stop? I don’t mind. “

  “ It just didn’t seem f
air to be categorizing you like that. “

  “ I told you, Frank. I don’t mind. I’m a big girl in case you haven’t noticed. “

  “ Of course I’ve noticed. Do you think I’m blind? “

  “ Maybe you only see blondes, Frank? “

  “ Oh please, Angela. Not that again. Look, you’re a fine woman. You’ve got everything going for you. You’re young. Any man would give a lot to have you. “

  “ Even at this hour on a Monday morning? “

  “ Particularly at this hour and especially on a Monday morning. Believe me, Angela. I know. I’m a man. I should know. With some guys when the pressure comes it’s alcohol, with others it’s sex. I thought you knew that, Angela. “

  “ Maybe I did but thanks for the compliment, anyway. We’ll discuss it later at coffee break. “

  When they arrived at the cemetery it was deserted save for a lone cop standing at the gates. He straightened up when he spotted Devoy’s car.

  “ Where’s everybody, Devoy asked? “

  The cop nodded in the direction of Wade’s house.

  “ Sergeant Power and Officer Kane are with Mr. Wade, Burke is guarding the mausoleum. “

  Devoy nodded his appreciation and walked over to Wade’s cottage.

  He knocked on Wade’s door and it was opened by a woman.

  “ Mrs. Wade? “ Devoy asked.

  “ Yes, “ she replied. “ They’re in the kitchen. “

  “ Can we come in? “ he asked.

  “ Of course you can, sir. But my husband is innocent. “

  “ Well that remains to be seen, Mrs. Wade. Incidentally, this is Detective Moore and I’m Detective Inspector Devoy. “

  Mrs. Wade led them into the kitchen. Wade was sitting down smoking. The two cops stood up when Devoy and Moore came in.

  “ Well, Mr. Wade, good morning. “

  “ Is it? “ answered Wade sourly.

  Devoy and Moore sat down and faced Wade.

  “ Has Mr. Wade been read his rights, officers? “

  Sergeant Power replied affirmatively.

  “ You know you’re under arrest, Mr. Wade, “ Devoy began.

  “ Why? “ replied Wade. “ I done nothing wrong. “

  “ Where’s the coffin then? “

  Wade shrugged his shoulders.

  “ How the hell am I supposed to know? I don’t sleep in the bloody mausoleum. It was there the other day. “

  “ What other day? “ asked Moore.

  “ The day you phoned to tell me to get it ready for today. Friday. “

  “ And you saw nothing suspicious? “

  Wade shook his head.

  “ And what would be suspicious could I ask? I looked in. Saw it was on the floor in the back. Checked it was the same coffin and came back out. Locked up again. That’s all. “

  “ And there was nothing strange? “

  “ I noticed nothing but then what was I supposed to be looking for? I’m only the bloody caretaker, for God’s sake. I’m not paid to do anything else. “

  “ Okay, then, Mr. Wade. “

  “ Am I free, then? Can I go about my business? “

  “ No, not by a long shot. Your business is now with us. Let’s go see the mausoleum. “

  Wade stood up and stubbed out his cigarette.

  “ As you wish. “

  As they left Wade’s cottage Devoy instructed Officer Kane to stand guard and make sure nothing was taken from the house. If necessary, Mrs. Wade was to be searched. Then he, Detective Moore, Sergeant Power and Wade all crossed the road and entered the cemetery.

  Five minutes later they stood at the entrance to the mausoleum.

  “ Open it, “ Devoy ordered.

  Wade first unlocked the chain and when that fell away inserted the long key into the door lock. The door opened with a groan and Wade pushed both doors in. He switched on the lamp he had brought with him. He flicked the beam from left to right as they penetrated into the mausoleum illuminating the coffins of the Marshalls in their niches until he came to a part of the chamber that was relatively dust free. He switched the beam onto the floor where there was a rectangular outline in the dust.

  “ See, “ he said pointing to the floor. “ This is where we left it last week. Kennedy and me. We left it here out of everybody’s way. Your people came and went with their equipment and it hasn’t been opened since until last Friday as you instructed. “

  “ Really? “ replied Devoy. “ Well, somebody must have opened it, Mr. Wade otherwise the coffin would still be here. “

  “ What’s back there? “ continued Devoy.

  Wade shone the lamp. It illuminated an old altar with an iron grill reaching up to the ceiling separating it from the rest of the mausoleum. A gate was set into the bars. Devoy pushed on the gate but it was rusted into place.

  “ Nothing except that, “ Wade replied. “ I believe they use to celebrate mass here a long time ago – perhaps in the last century. I honestly don’t know. Maybe the priests could tell you. Come to think of it why not ask the Marshalls. It’s their property. They should know. Who knows, maybe they even have a map of this place. “

  “ Now that’s an idea, “ said Devoy as he relished the idea of interviewing Roderick Marshall again.

  “ Okay, you lock up here and give the keys to Sergeant Power. “

  “ Sergeant Power, you bring Mr. Wade down to the station and hold him until we get back. Officers Burke and Kane are to stay where they are until further notice. “

  “ Now, Mr. Wade while you at the station I want you to account for all movements here since last Friday. I want the names of everybody who was buried here that day, the name of the undertakers, the time they were buried, the names of the gravediggers and anybody else you can think of. “

  Wade made a face.

  “ How the hell am I going to remember all that? I’ll have to consult the books. “

  “ Well Sergeant Power will help you there. You get all your documentation together at your office and don’t tell me you can’t find it. I’ve been waiting all bloody week for your paperwork and all we got was excuses – you and your old man. So don’t give me any shit, okay. You bring all your paperwork down to the station and get working on it. And don’t forget, the more dirt you give me the longer you’ll stay under arrest. Understand? Good. See you all later. “

  Devoy and Moore headed back to the car.

  “ What about Kennedy? “ asked Detective Moore. “ Isn’t he supposed to be here? “

  “ You’re right. “

  Devoy called Wade back.

  “ Where’s Kennedy? “ he asked.

  Wade shrugged his shoulders.

  “ Search me. He was supposed to be here at nine. You’ll have to get onto Fallon’s. Something maybe came up. Monday morning is always full of surprises. The old hate Sundays just as much as everybody else. That’s why they check out Sunday evenings. “

  “ You can say that again, Mr. Wade. “

  “ I’ll give you his phone number, then. “

  Devoy took a note of the number.

  “ If he turns up here tell him he’s needed at the station. “

  “ Right, “ mumbled Wade.

  Outside the mausoleum Devoy sent an SMS to Doctor Costello advising him of the latest development.

  On the way back to the station Angela placed her hand on Devoy’s.

  “ Do you think we could stop at my place? “ she asked. “ Call of nature. “

  “ Sure, why not. “

  Angela gave him directions.

  She lived in a row of modern terraced townhouses on the outskirts of town. Devoy stopped the car at her house and waited for her to get out.

  “ You might as well wait inside as out here, “ she said.

  Devoy nodded and followed her into her house.

  “ The kitchen’s in there, “ she said pointing to the back of the house.

  “ Help yourself to a tea or coffee or whatever you fancy. “

  Devoy went into
the kitchen and heard her going up the stairs. He decided to make himself a coffee and set the kettle to boil. As usual the electric kettle made a dreadful racket. While the water boiled, Devoy turned to the window to admire the garden. He let his mind wander until he heard the kettle cut out. In the silence that followed he thought he detected the faintest whispering sound of skin touching skin. He was about to turn around when he heard Angela say she was ready.

  Devoy turned around and his jaw dropped. Angela stood totally naked in front of him. Her hands were behind her back as if she was there for his delectation. He swallowed hard as he ran his eyes over the contours of her body and how she was so casual about her nakedness.

  “ You said a call of nature, Angela. “ he managed to croak before his mouth went dry.

  “ This,” she said advancing towards him. “ This is a call of nature, Frank. “

  Before he could utter another word she grabbed his tie and pulled him over to the settee. She pushed him down into a sitting position and she immediately straddled him. He didn’t resist. She then undid his pants, found what she was looking for and impaled herself on him with a long-drawn out moan of relief. Twenty minutes later she howled as she climaxed. Devoy had the impression that he was only a witness to the lovemaking such was her control and domination. He’d never think of her in the same way again.

  “ Oh, Frank, “ she cried. “ Oh, Frank, that was a long time threatening. Let’s do it again. Now! “

  They changed position. Devoy now dominated. She continued to give him instructions.

  Another twenty minutes passed and they climaxed again. And then the phone rang. It rang incessantly as if the person on the other end knew what they were doing and wanted to interrupt them. The answering system kicked in. It was Superintendent Sullivan. They heard him announce he had received their message. He needed to see them as soon as possible.

  Devoy withdrew from Angela and started to get dressed. This time he gave her orders.

  On the way back to the station they were both silent.

  “ I’ve something to say, Frank. “