No Man's Land

by C D Beaudin

  “I know, it’s fantastic.”

  She looks into the woods as Kepp walks out of the trees, a smile on his face. She doesn’t approach him, instead he walks toward her.

  “It’s been a while,” he says.

  “How long?”

  “A year. Happy twentieth, by the way.”

  Awyn grins. “Did you sleep too?”

  “No. I didn’t want to. I was afraid of what might come in my dreams.”

  “Are you still afraid?”

  He smiles. “There’s no fear in the Other World.” He looks back as another figure emerges from the woods. Different, slightly. But still familiar.

  “Father?” Her feet don’t move.

  Instead, he runs to her. “Awyn!” He wraps his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. She wraps her arms around him. He’s just how he left her. The faint smell of wine from the previous night’s feast, overpowered by the morning’s rain when they rode through the downpour. He laughs, and she cries tears of joy, no longer a wish to see him again.

  As he sets her down, another familiar voice sends joy into her heart.

  Her mother stands there, smiling. Adara.

  But again, her feet don’t move, and Adara rushes to her, wrapping her in her arms, squeezing a little too tightly like she always did in her happy days. “I love you so much, darling.”

  “I love you too, mother.”

  “Awyn,” Kepp says, a hand on her back. “Your new life’s waiting.”

  Awyn smiles, but her feet still don’t move. Something’s incomplete. “You go. I need a minute.”

  Kepp nods, and he and the others disappear into the bright forest of Radian.

  She exhales, tears in her eyes. Finally. She can go home. But first, something needs to happen. She isn’t sure what it is. But there’s something.

  Awyn stands there, waiting.

  “Have you missed me?”

  She turns around, looking out onto the fields of Mera. Before her, stands Brave.

  “I’ve waited for you to return,” Awyn says.

  Brave tilts her head. “I did, when you were on the Isle, fighting. I was the one who spoke to you. My return united us. But to see me…you needed to be ready.” She smiles. “You did it.”

  A smile plastered to her face, Awyn runs to Brave, wrapping her arms around her. Brave fades into her, a glowing light that diminishes as she’s finally complete. Looking up at the sky, she utters a thank-you, a prayer, and a goodbye. This isn’t the end. It’s simply the beginning of a new life, a new dawn. She’ll have her chance at happiness. And to find who she is.

  White stone under her feet and her past behind her, she journeys beyond the bridge and into the Other World.

  Rocks under her bare feet slice her skin, no air coming into her lungs, leaving her chest tight and hungry for breath. Weakness and pain carve her body, inscribing her with every hurt she caused.

  Guilt. So much guilt writes itself into her skin, every letter a piercing pain. Riddled with sins, she’s a walking punishment as her feet travel Kuzakai. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. She’s been here for years. Decades. A never-ending wandering as her wrongs are branded into her with fire. She’s never felt so alone, so afraid. Her mind broke years ago, her demons taunting her and her victims screaming at her.

  She deserves this. Every ounce of this pain. She deserves a lot more than this. The Darkness. That should be her home. Maybe this is the Darkness? A new kind of hell tailored specifically for her sin?

  Her voice is lost to her. Too many screams to count. What was once a clear, calm voice rasped by terror her parents inflicted, is now a completely lost memory because of what she did. And yet, part of her is still angry. Regret and guilt grip her with every step, but she still feels the anger in her bleeding heart. She’s here because of what they did and what they made her do.

  But she was the one with the magic. The one with the sword.

  It’s her parents’ fault, but it was her doing.

  She did it.

  She halts her steps, something she hasn’t been able to do since she woke up in the Black Mountains, rain falling on her. Not one moment of rest, but she feels it now. She looks at the horizon, seeing the endless rock. She sees every hurt she caused, every pain she inflicted. Every life she took. Tears fill her eyes. She did this. She did it all. Her parents…

  No. They turned her into a villain.

  But she…she turned herself into a monster.

  This is her fault. Everything that has happened. It’s because of her. She did this.

  Panic fills her chest, and her tears stream. Her screams are no longer a sound, but a strangled cry for forgiveness from whatever deity would consider it. Falling to her knees, she digs her nails into the ground, sobbing.

  It was me! I’m sorry. I did this, I did. I don’t deserve forgiveness. I deserve hell for the rest of my life. And I know I’m not strong enough. For this torture, this torment. But this is the life I’ve condemned myself to. She turns her face to the sky. I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry. Everything that has happened… Oh, what I did. Burying her face in her palms, she can’t bear the thought of herself. She disgusts herself. What has she done? She deserves this. What she did to Awyn, to her people. To the world…

  A shiver runs up her spine, and she feels breath enter her lungs. She calms, tears streaming, and feels her voice. But she dares not speak, for whatever evil is in her may surface again. She sits there, hugging herself, crying. She doesn’t deserve tears. Or breath.

  Revera shakes her head. “It was me.”

  A hand stretches out to her. Looking up, she sees a glowing person, wings on his back and eyes shining white. She doesn’t know why this is happening. She doesn’t deserve whatever this will bring, but she grabs his hand.

  When her eyes open, and the light fades, she sees the White Bridge. The one Awyn ran over, the one that could have ended everything. But it only sealed Revera’s revenge and plan. And she succeeded. She freed those on the Isle. But at what cost? All those people she killed…

  She should still be wandering Kuzakai.

  Spirits know she deserves it.

  But no one’s good enough for eternal peace.

  Anger. Her horrible, terrible hatred that she wants to erase but it won’t leave. She needs to forget. Forget her doubt, her worry. The vendetta she’s had against the world needs to be let go. She thought once she died it wouldn’t matter, it would be a distant memory. But she needs to be conscious when she lets it go. And she must want to let it go.

  She wants to.

  But her mind tells her not to.

  Why such a debate? At the end, why does she still fight? Is she choosing to or is she just destined to brawl forever? A never-ending war inside herself. A struggle she will never win, that she can’t win. Is this something only she suffers? Or do others fight as she does? Revera feels so alone, nothing right with herself, nothing peaceful inside her. More than anything she wants to be done fighting. To let go, but something inside her tells her not to. It won’t let go.

  But now is the time she must choose. Does she let it win or does she keep fighting? Does she let it control her or does she control it? She’s let her soul become a place of numbness and anger, hatred and fear. It’s gone to ruin, a place of darkness where light dare not enter. A wasteland. A broken country. A place where revenge is her god, hate is her breath, and fear is her blood. A place of dread. A lawless, corrupted land where it’s kill or be killed.

  A No Man’s Land.

  The bridge awaits her answer.

  When she has it, Revera steps onto the white stone.

  Acknowledgments

  This acknowledgment was nearly forgotten. I had started writing it, but then I just forgot. Which, honestly, I’m not sure how that happened considering I would never have been published without the people below.

  Mom, dad, seriously, I don’t know how you dealt with my breakdowns while writing this. This trilogy stressed me out, sent me on an emotional rollercoaster an
d slightly killed my social life. Thank you for your support. I wanted to give up quite a few times. And I’ll admit that part of the reason I didn’t was because I felt like I had something to prove. But I know I never need to prove myself to you. You always think my best is enough, and you’ve always believed in me. And more than helping me through this process, thanks for being my parents. I was lucky to get you both.

  To Joshua, my big brother. He may not be the warrior he is in my book, but he’s still pretty cool. (I say this as a little sister and someone who’s seen his Pi T-shirt). Yes. Pi. Not pie. Anyways, thanks for lending me your name for this character. He wasn’t a big part of the story, but you’re a big part of my life.

  And to Ava. You were my friend when I needed one, and I can’t thank you enough for that. Oh, and by the way, your height literally has nothing to do with the fact that I made you a dwarf! You’re not even short, I’m just tall.

  A special thanks to my grandparents, or, professionally speaking, my salespeople. Not sure if you’re Dunder-Mifflin material, but you’ve sold more of my books than I have, so thanks for the cash!

  Thank-you to my editor, Meg. You dealt well with some of my amateur moments, so kudos.

  Thank-you to Kay P. Dawson for helping me publish.

  And of course, thank-you to my readers. It brings a smile to my face knowing that someone out there is reading and enjoying my story.

  Thanks.

  About the Author

  C.D. Beaudin lives in Manitoba, Canada.

  While C.D. finds enjoyment in art, conspiracy theories, reading and music, her passion is for writing, and this permits her to enter into worlds beyond her own.

  When she’s not writing, she enjoys spending time with friends, rocking out to music, and indulging in her passion for history and mythology.

  C.D. would love to hear from her readers. If you have any comments about the book, characters, or the story itself, feel free to leave a comment. Reviews on Amazon are always very appreciated. Thank you.

  You can find her on:

  Facebook

  https://www.facebook.com/cassidy.beaudin.39

  Instagram

  @cassidy.beaudin

  Other books by C.D. Beaudin

  BEYOND THE BRIDGE

  Mortal’s End Trilogy

  Book One

  A darkness like no other.

  The land of Mortal is plagued with a growing darkness. A ruthless sorceress is taking revenge, and the only thing standing in her way has been locked away for nine years.

  Until now.

  Awyn is eighteen, and it’s time to die. Her power-hungry uncle had mercy on her years ago, but he knows the only way to secure his throne is if the heir to it dies.

  But what neither of them could have predicted is that Awyn manages to escape his sword, and out of the city that has been her torment and dream for the past nine years. But to get away from her uncle’s soldiers, she’s going to have to journey beyond the bridge into an unknown world full of chaos and death—and is plunged into a war with the sorceress herself.

  CLICK HERE TO GET IT ON AMAZON…

  THE BROKEN BOW

  Mortal’s End Trilogy

  Book Two

  The Five Kingdoms are in chaos.

  Not long after the fight for Mera ended, and Princess Awyn fell into the Tower of Nethess, the sorceress Revera is already preparing her next calamity.

  In the frozen north that is the Kingdom of Rohidia, a battle threatens the already dying kingdom. Revera wages war against its king and people, but it’s the First Lieutenant who marches across the cold plains with an army that will kill anything in its path.

  As those who lived through the battle of Mera suffer, Revera plans her next move. She’s cursed the land in eternal winter, though, what she has planned next for Mortal will end everything. But while everyone struggles to thwart her plan to end the Rohidian people, no one realizes a much sinister plot has been put into motion.

  Across the lands, there are those willing to sacrifice everything to rescue Awyn and protect the people of Rohidia. What they don’t know, is that the sacrifice has already been made.

  A bow has been broken. And the land of Mortal is next.

  CLICK HERE TO GET IT ON AMAZON…